Tag Archives: Recovery

Saturday Morning Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’ve been awake for several hours now. I am a wee bit depressed. Not sure what is causing it but I sure in the hell know that the crappy weather isn’t helping. I just wish I wasn’t dealing with the depression however it is a reality I have to deal with.

A reality that is having me focus on good self care as well as doing DBT skills. In fact I feel like my DBT skills are self care. Or at least a form of self care. I am needing do some self-soothing skills as well as some distracting skills.

One of the skills, I’ll be doing is drinking tea which is self soothing for me. Another skill I am going to use is read the news paper which is somewhat of a distraction skill for me. I know it seems like a weird combination to do at the same time but it helps me if I start my day out like that.

I am also going to be going to the mall with a friend today. I am not a big mall person but this is an “out of the box” thing my therapist wanted me to come up with. Going to the mall will be challenging for me but it will be helpful for me as well.

Something that I have already done to help with my depression as well as my anxiety is some meditation and mindfulness practices. Since I have been doing the mindfulness and meditation on the regular basis, I have noticed some lessening of the anxiety or least lessening of the intensity of the anxiety.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Early Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in the morning in my neck of the woods. Yes, I realize it is early but at least I got some sleep. I think I got about four hours of sleep. I, did however wake up from a nightmare. A nightmare that scared the shit out of me but thankfully I was able to get the support I needed from a friend.

After talking to my friend, I am now blogging. Pretty much I am blogging about whatever comes to mind at the moment. Hence the reason why my title is what it is.

As mentioned in a previous post, I checked in with my therapist yesterday (Friday). We discussed what I am going to do this weekend. I told him I don’t have much going except cleaning my apartment later on today (Saturday). We discussed a little about what I could for fun over the weekend. I came up with my usual stuff like reading, art and blogging. He encouraged me to do something out of the box for me. So, this is where I get stumped as this means going to the stupid mall or something like that. I informed my therapist that I could call a friend and spend a few hours with them at the mall. Apparently, his first impression of me was correct when he stated “You don’t appear to be a mall type person. Good job with thinking outside of the box with doing something different with a friend.” I told my therapist that he was right that I am not a “mall type person.” He chuckled and we continued to discuss what my weekend plans were. I hope I am not wrong on this but my therapist appears that he is good at what he does. Yeah, he may be a little timid but I think that is his personality.

I think I am going to spend most of the weekend reading. I am hoping to finish my book this weekend. No promises on finishing it but I am getting closer to finishing it. I love reading.

I don’t think I have anything else to ramble on about. Peace Out, World!!!

An Accomplished Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here today feeling accomplished. Well, not exactly accomplished in a way others may few accomplished.

I started out the day with having an appointment with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. She appears to be nice and recovery focused. She took me off of my Seroquel as she believes I don’t need to be on it as I am also on Abilify.

Next thing I did was file my taxes. I am not getting as much back this year as previous year because I didn’t work most of last year. I am okay with that as I am happy with what I am getting back.

The last thing I did was spend about an hour cleaning my apartment. It is nice having a clean place. Having my apartment clean helps my depression.

I wish this feeling of accomplishment was the same sense of accomplishment after a hard days work but I’m okay with it.  Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

No Sleep + Reading = Help With Anxiety

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am reluctantly still awake. I wish I was able to have got to sleep last night but now that it is 6:14 in morning and I have an appointment I am tired enough to fall asleep. I am hoping that after my appointment as well as getting some errands done, I am able to take a nap.

As elusive as sleep has been for me last night, I was able to get a lot of reading done. Reading helped me relax and it lessened my anxiety. Reading helps a great with my anxiety.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

An Idea or Two About Structure

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I was doing a mindfulness exercise and realized that if helps me in the late evening then it will help me in the morning as well. So, I think I am going to start my day with a mindfulness exercise or least do it pretty early on to the start of my day. As I was thinking about this I remember the conversation I had with my therapist during our session yesterday about how I do better with structure.

After thinking about the conversation I had yesterday, I pulled out my calendar and started penciling in things that I would like the do and things I need to. I plan on filling out next week and show it to my new therapist.

Mindfulness is one of the things I plan on doing both during the morning and late evening. I also plan on continuing drinking tea while reading the news paper in the morning. Another thing I want to do on the more regular basis is to do my workbooks. I feel like if I do this it will help me help myself and get to where I want in my recovery. I also hope to discuss my work in the workbooks with my therapist. These are just a few ideas I would like to do to build some structure in my life.

Thank you for reading about my ideas. Peace Out, World.

Job Interview & Other Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As many of you know, I had a job interview today. The job deals with dealing those in crisis. I am not sure if I did well in the interview but I know that it might not be a good fit for me. Plus, travel time might be an issue for me.

I am tired as hell right now. I think I am so tired from my interview and the long travel time for it. Plus, I didn’t sleep all that well last night. I am thinking I might lye down for a nap. An hour nap at that. I want to be able to sleep tonight.

Before taking a nap I need to eat. I don’t know what I am going to make for dinner yet. I just know I might be able to feel slightly better than I feeling right now.

Have a good evening!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Currently At Job Interview

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! As you read this I should be having my interview at the moment. No, I am not writing this at the moment. I scheduled it to be post it at this time as writing it when I did was helping me in the moment with my anxiety. Truthfully, I am most likely full of butterflies as you read this.

Blogging about something ahead time that hasn’t happened yet is weird yet I wanted to schedule this post for now so you my reader can send out positive vibes, positive thoughts, prayers, wish me luck or whatever to me at this moment in time. Also as I am writing this (even though it is a scheduled post) it is helping me with my anxiety.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Gertie’s On Their Way To Their Interview

Posted on by mamabearraine

Hello!!! It is I, Mama Bear. I realize it have been a few weeks since I last posted. I have been quite busy with family and work. My youngest child is going through their own mental health crisis and needed to focus on that. I requested Gertie not share that as I want to share more about my family when I post. Today is not the day I will post about my family as I want to discuss Gertie and their job interview.

At this very moment Gertie is on their way to their job interview. It is my hope that Gertie gets this job as I know them well enough that they do better with their mental health symptoms when they are working. It is my hope that they get the job they want. Gertie is aware that I don’t think this is the right job for them but if it is meant to be they will be offered the job and Gertie will accept it if it fits their schedule and value system. Gertie is an extremely wise person and will do what is best for them with much consultation from individuals such as myself and Junior. It is my hope that Gertie does well and gets this job if it is meant for them.

Hump Day (Wed.) Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop thinking about what I have going on today. Mainly, what I have going today is an interview. An interview to have a job as a Peer Specialist (Counselor). A job that I know I am capable of doing.

On that note I, posted about when I applied for the interview on a social media site. I informed people that “if and only if I get the job will I need stricter boundaries with a handful of individuals.” I deleted it primarily because I accidently crossed a friends boundary. On that note another “friend” commented on it. To find out this person thought I deleted it because of them. They passive aggressively mentioned something about my post on his wall without mentioning my name. More or less mutual friends knew who they were talking about as I got some private messages via social media and some text asking me if I’ve read and if I think it was about me. I’m not sure if it about me but I see how others may see it. The original post wasn’t even about them or geared toward them. I stated that “I’m freaking out” and that was the key part of the post as I was freaking out due to the possibilities of setting stricter boundaries that didn’t involve the person being passive aggressive. Maybe with me posting about this is being passive aggressive.  If it is being passive aggressive, I am not attempting to do so as I am just venting about. I guess I wish this individual would have reached out to me as I did them after seeing their post. Now this person is “livid” with me because they think I am “bragging” as I posted on social media that I have an interview. I am not sure what is going on with this person but I am concerned for them as they appear to be quite symptomatic to me.

Enough about that situation and on to a different topic, sort of. It’s about boundaries and how everyone has some form of them. Some of us are better at not letting folks cross them. For me it is easy for me to not allow folks to cross my boundaries with the exception of some of my family. I think that is why I got angry yesterday with family. I allowed them to cross my boundaries and that was all on me. Realizing this I can discuss it more my therapist so we can work on it.

I don’t have much more to say other than what I have already said. So, I am ending this post as I do not want to risk repeating myself. Peace Out, World!!!

First Session With New Clinician

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I met with my new clinician today. He is my case manager but we are going to be do therapy work so he is more like a therapist for me. We discussed quite a lot today and my anxiety was put at ease.

One of the main topics we discussed was boundaries. Boundaries about our therapeutic relationship. He appears to have good boundaries.

We also discussed our expectations of the relationship and what I want to work on. He appears to be on the same page as me regarding expectations and my recovery plan. My new therapist is on board with my recovery as well as the recovery movement.

I think I’m going to like this new therapist as he is proving himself already. He is encouraging me to build more structure in my life. He thinks I need more recreation in my life which is true.

Thank you so much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!