Tag Archives: Writing

Wide Awake

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I should really try to get back to sleep however I am not really sure if I will be able to do so. The reason why I say this is because I fell asleep early and now a I am wide awake.

Since, I’m wide awake I’ve been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. A book that I am surprised to be liking due to the fact it took the first two chapters to finally get into. If you like the genres of Sci Fi and Fantasy you would like this book. I hope to be doing a book review at the end of the book. It’s the first book of the Liveships Trader trilogy.

I love reading book series. I love series due to the fact I end up really connecting with the characters. Connecting enough to where I don’t want the story to end. In fact I’ve had folks tell me I should read The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. People of suggested this series because it has a total of fourteen books. I though about reading it however I think it might be a wee bit long for me. It’s something to think about. If I do start to read it, I know I wouldn’t be bored for a while.

I should get going to I can get back to reading. Thank you for reading my blog. I plan on writing my next poem for my next assignment for the course I am taking with WordPress later on today. I hope everyone enjoys their Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Poetry, Day One: Water

Posted on by Gertie

Peace Like a Brook

by Gertie

Water is peaceful.

Peaceful to our spiritual selves.

Selves that must flow like a brook.

Choosing To Not Worry

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning (again), World!!! As, I told you briefly in my last post I was going to see my dermatologist today which I did. He is concerned about a couple of moles on my back. He removed them and sending them out for an biopsy. Yes, I am a lil fearful about the biopsy as skin cancer runs in my family however I am hopeful about it as well. I am hopeful because I have had other moles biopsied before and there was no hint of cancer. So right now, I’m going to choose to not worry about the biopsy until I get the results and even then there is a high chance I won’t have to worry.

I’ve decided that I’m going to start doing the Intro To Poetry course the WordPress puts on. This is to help me stay focused on blogging. For me staying focused on my blogging helps me have the structure I need and desire. I’m going to post my first poem for the course this evening.

I hope everyone as a good rest of the day and Peace Out, World!!!

 

Go To Hell 2017

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! In ten hours it will be 2018. All I can say is that 2017 hasn’t been the easiest of years for me. A year that I’ve experienced great pain and not one success that I can think of.

If I look back on 2017 it was the year of hell for me. I resigned from a job I loved and worked my ass off to get due to the severity of the symptoms of my mental health challenges. A job that I wish I didn’t resign from but realize that I can’t help others if I’m not doing well myself. How can I help people with their recovery if my recovery is a bit shaky.

As shaky as my recovery is and not having a job in the career I love, I’ve realized that art has played a major part of my life this past year. Specifically, painting. Painting has helped me through some of the more difficult moments I experienced this year.

Another thing that has helped me through the hell 2017 brought me was writing. Writing in various ways. Weather it was writing in my journal or a poem or even blogging. Writing helps me express myself.

In fact both art and writing have helped me express myself with how my emotions are. Music has helped me expressed my emotions as well. It appears that the creativity that art, music and writing brings to me has helped me through the hell that 2017 has brought.

As 2017 comes to an end like this post is coming to an end, I would like to tell 2017 something: GO TO HELL 2017!!! As this year ends I hope that everyone has a better 2018 than they had in 2017. Peace Out, World. See, you in the New Year!!!

 

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It’s officially Sunday in my neck of the woods. Normally, I do my weekly check-in on Saturdays however its not even an twenty minutes into Sunday in my part of the world.

On that note, lets get on with my weekly check-in. My week has been pretty uneventful. I attended my appointments and groups like usual. The major thing that I’ve been dealing with this week is that Friday was the one month anniversary of me loosing therapy services, while yesterday (Saturday) was an anniversary of a traumatic event.

With the two not so good anniversaries happening, didn’t stop me from starting on or working on a newsletter submission. The newsletter submission I am working on is for the newsletter of the clubhouse I am apart of.  The article I’m writing is about the importance of respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity. Part of the reason I chose to write about respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity is because I’ve been dealing with being disrespected with how I personally identify and how it is affecting my mental health and my recovery. I of course wont point out the individuals doing this nor say that it’s affecting my mental health or recovery. I’m doing to empower myself and others as well.

Thank you for reading my blog. It’s greatly appreciated. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World.

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been quite a week. A week full emotions. The primary emotions I have felt this week have been fear and anger. In fact I think if it wasn’t for the fear and anger, I wouldn’t have been on my creative streak.

This week I ended up being extremely creative by painting, writing poetry and even started writing some music to play on my flute. Being creative has been proven helpful for me when it comes to dealing with the symptoms of the mental health challenges I struggle with.

Being creative is something I also that helps me when I am having some major sleep issues. I was unable to sleep for three days straight despite my sleep hygiene strategies. I do think that being creative is what helped me finally getting limited sleep last night.  I am grateful for the sleep I did get last night.

I don’t have much to say regarding my week for this past week as there is not much going on that I am willing to share. Thank you for reading. Have a good rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Figuring Sh*t Out While Being Creative

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today, hasn’t been the easiest of days for me. Especially, since I’ve come to the realization that my case manager’s supervisor is providing me with therapy. I came to this realization today when I saw him and at the end of our appointment we scheduled another one for this Friday. It appears from my end of things or perspective that he (my case manager’s supervisor) is attempting his best to gain my trust with him and the rest of my treatment team after what happened three weeks ago when my therapy services were pulled. The reason, I’ve come to the realization of him providing me with therapy is because this will be the third week in a row where I’ve had three appointments with him in one week. I am a little suspicious of this for several reasons but it appears that he wants me back in therapy services and working with me to get me back in it.

On that note, my “temporary” therapist and I discussed a little about my safety with self-harm and suicide ideation stuff which led me to showing him one of the mandalas I colored last night. I would have shown him the other one I colored but I gave it to the therapist I had right after Diana left but the one before my last former therapist. Anyway, my “temporary” therapist and I discussed how coloring is quite helpful to me. He thinks that me being creative is a good thing, whether its with writing or some sort of art work.

So when I got home, I rested for a while, ate and then went to a local art supply store. A store with in walking distance of my place of residence. I pick up some paint supplies including canvas. The picture below is what I painted this evening with my newly bought paint supplies.

IMG_0018I realize its not the best photo of my newly painted piece of art but it resembles what my recovery has been like throughout my life.

Another thing I did after my painting was write a couple of poems. Poems that represent the not so good head space I have been in lately. Below are photo’s of the poems I wrote.

The first poem is as follows:

Shit Hit The Fan

by Gertie

Shit hit the fan.

Nobody seams to hear, what the fuck I am saying.

How loud do I have to get to be heard?

How much shit has to hit the fan before its noticed?

Why can’t I get a break?

Even for an hour.

The second poem is as follows:

Searching For Lost Hope

by Gertie

Looking for a sign.

Any sign, for a sign of hope.

Hope that seems to be no where to be found.

Searching for the lost hope is becoming more hopeless as the search drags on.

As I painted and wrote some poetry, I listened to some music. Music that appears to be helping drown out the voices I’m hearing. Voices that nobody hears. I also am just realizing that when I am doing art, writing or even playing a musical instrument, my voices get quieter. They’re still quite intense but not as intense if I weren’t doing the above mentioned activities. I think I need to share this with my case manager and her supervisor.

As I end this post, I want to thank you for reading and allowing me to share my creative side with you. Peace Out, World.

(Side Note: I realize people might think after reading this post that I am suicidal or thinking about self harm. I am NOT suicidal and am NOT thinking about self harm.)

Everyday Inspiration; Day 20: Wrap It Up

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s the final day of Finding Everyday Inspiration. Today’s assignment has given me a handful of prompts to end this final assignment. I’m not sure if I’m exactly going to do the prompts. If I happen to answer a prompt or two with this last assignment that it happens.

Just like that last time I took this course, I fun with it. It’s helped me get back in the grove of blogging once again. In fact I plan on doing the Intro To Poetry course that WordPress does. I think I will wait a few days before I start it as I might need a break for a day or two. This course has helped me get back into the grove of things in regards to blogging.

Thank you for reading. It is my hope that you continue to read what I have to say. Peace Out!!!

 

Everyday Inspiration; Day 9: Writing and Not Writing

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’m struggling to do today’s assignment for some unknown reason. A reason I am unable to come up with at this moment in time. Today’s assignment more or less ask what I do when I am not writing.

I perceive the assignment as a way to think about my self care and the focus I must have to continue on with my recovery that doesn’t include writing. Writing is a form of therapy for me however I know it’s not the cure all for my therapy needs.

When I’m not writing, I am primarily doing something regarding my mental health treatment. I attend appointments with my case manager and therapist. I also attend group therapy. The groups I attend are Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Healthy Sexuality, and Art Groups. In fact if I really wanted to, I could write about the various topics brought up in all the groups I’ve been in as well as topics brought up in my sessions with my therapist and case manager.

When I’m not participating in my mental health treatment, I am spending time with friends. Most likely my friends and I are having a dinner get together or out enjoying the outdoors. Many of my friends and I love the outdoors and love to hike as well as camp.

So, basically when I am not writing, I am doing good self care by seeking mental health treatment as well as spending time with friends. Preferably, my friends and I are spending time outside.  I think this assignment just gave me an idea or two to write about later on.

As, I end this blog post, I want to thank you for reading. You guys are my inspiration on why I continue to write. Thanks for being awesome. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 3: One-Word Inspiration; Choice(s)

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s “assignment” for the Finding Everyday Inspiration course through WordPress is one word inspiration. I was given a choice of six words. One of the words I had to choose from is the word, choice. I chose the word choice because it was one of two words that stuck out to me from the six I had to choose from. Since, I’ve written a little about the other word that stuck out to me, I thought I would write about the word choice.

In fact if I really look at it, no matter what word, I would have chosen, I would ultimately be writing about the choice even the word was never brought up in the post. Life is nothing but series of choices. The choices we make throughout our lives has an effect on other peoples lives. Just like the choices of others have an effect on our lives. Whether we want to admit it or not, what we choose will not just effect you but effect others.

When I look back on my life, I realize the choice’s I’ve made may not have been the wisest of choices, I learned from them. I learned from the bad choice’s in my life to better myself. Yes, some of the not so good choices I made were because the symptoms of the mental health diagnosis were acting up, I still had (and have) the ability to make the choice to do what is right. The choices I’ve made even when I’m not doing well have shaped who I am today.

It shaped me into being a person who made a choice to be in recovery. A choice that nobody could make for me. A choice that was and is the best decision of my life.

Not all choices we make are bad. Some are good. Whether or not we our decisions are good or bad, the one thing I would like you to come out of this post is that the choices we make, just doesn’t effect us, it also effects others.

On that note, I will end this post. As, I end this blogs post I hope that you the reader of this blog that every choice you make, whether you like it or not will effect others. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out!!!