Tag Archives: Books

Still a Struggle on This Sunday Afternoon

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, once again, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post I was planning on going to both an art store and book store. I did manage to go to both of the stores and bought some things that would be helpful for me in both the good and bad times.

When I got home from the stores, I decided to do some coloring while listening music. It helped temporarily but not enough to make my self harm urges to go away. The urges appear to be getting stronger.

Since they are getting stronger, I decided I would do some mindfulness and meditation practices. They helped slightly but not enough. Doing the mindfulness and meditation practices made me realize that I need to go to the hospital to get evaluated. I most likely won’t end up on in inpatient unit but at least I will be safe for a few hours.

I did call the crisis worker again. You know the one I talked about in an earlier post. So, she said, that going to a hospital is a solid idea however she wants me spend about twenty minutes with my cat. In fact I spent about a half an hour with my cat before I decided to post this.

Now that I am done spending time with my cat and blogging, I’ll be going to the hospital. I will post when I am back from the hospital as I think it is not going to be more than five or six hours if not sooner.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. No need to worry about me. You know I am going to be safe as after I am done with this post, I will be on my way to the hospital. Thank you so much, again for reading my blog. I hope you all have a good rest of your Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Seems Like A Sunday Of Struggles

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am still struggling a great deal with self harm issues. I have done the safety plan, I planned with the crisis worker I talked to before my last post. Yes, I have done some art work as well as reading. Both helped to a degree however, I still feel like self harming. I could call the crisis worker back however I came up with a better idea.

The better idea’s I came up with is to first go to the art store to pick up some art supplies. Art supplies that include canvas, paint, paint brushes and even coloring books as well as colored pencils.

After I plan on going to the art  store, I plan on going to a near by book store. Of course I’ll buy a couple of books and look for coloring books as well. The book I am currently reading will most likely be finished in a day or two so I will need a new book or two to read. Plus, getting coloring books from both the book and art stores will be helpful for me.

Blogging appears to be helping me through this minor crisis I am currently in. Blogging is one of my coping skills and has proven quite helpful for me.

Now that I have discussed how blogging helps me, I am going to go to both the art and book stores. I hope I find what I need and/or want.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Morning Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I know its been a couple of hours since I last posted but things changed quite quickly. Yes, I did finish reading the new paper and watching the morning news as well as doing my chores.

Unfortunately, as I was doing my household chores, I started becoming in crisis mode. That means I have urges to self harm. I did call the crisis team of the agency I seek services at and came up with a safety plan. A safety plan that I hope I am able to keep. I can promise you all that if I can not keep my safety plan that I will go to the hospital. I am NOT suicidal. I just feel like self harming. Again, if I am unable to stay safe I WILL take myself to the hospital. Part of my safety plan, I already mentioned in my last post at that is to read the fantasy book that I decided to start reading again since I never finished the book. I am looking forward to spending time in a good book and get my mind off of the shit of self harming. I hope that reading this fantasy book will do the trick

Another part of my safety plan is being around my cat, Lil Gertie. That means playing with her as well as cuddling with. That also means giving her some pets and loves. And of course cleaning out her litter box which I already did this morning. I clean it out twice a day. I have already fed her, her wet food and she has access to her dry food 24/7 so I know she won’t starve. So yes I have already taken care of her needs for the day except for her evening litter box cleaning. Now its time for me to cuddle up to her as well as play with her. That is if she is up to it as she is a cat.

Another thing I came up with the crisis clinician is to work on my art work. We decided that both coloring and painting would be quite helpful to me. I also informed the crisis clinician that I can combine painting and collaging as it mixes genres and is really cool looking. She thought that doing art is a great way to express myself especially with that of the mixture of genres.

The last part of my safety plan was and is to blog. In fact it was the first thing I decided to do as part of my safety plan so I could inform all of you my reader of my current struggles despite getting a good nights sleep and a good start to the day. Sometimes the struggles of a mental health challenge can come out of the blue despite how well it started. Blogging is quite helpful for me to hold myself accountable to others. Just as reminder, if the urges to self harm get stronger there is no need to worry about me as I will take myself to the hospital as well as call the crisis worker I talked to back. So, I do have an added safety plan to the safety plan I am informing you of. So, for me as I already mentioned helps me be accountable to others yet I don’t want others to worry about me.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You my reader are all awesome in my eyes. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

(Side Note: Yes, I know I have mentioned it already, I am NOT suicidal. If I feel like I am unable to keep myself safe I will call the crisis worker back or take myself to the hospital or in worse case scenario, I will call 911. I just want make sure you all know that I have a back up plan.) 

A Foggy & Not So Sleepy Sunday Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is a foggy Sunday morning here in Seattle. Looks like it could be another lazy day but I need to do some house work first. But first things first is that I read the Sunday news paper and now I am watching the Sunday morning news. I was able to get some sleep last night which is a major deal since I haven’t really slept for a few days.

Like I mentioned in my last paragraph I have household chores I need to do. Thankfully, there is not much to do. After watching the morning news since I have already read the news paper, I will do my chores to get them out of the way.

After doing my chores, I plan on reading most of the day. I plan on reading the fantasy book I recently picked up again. I started reading it again because I never finished the book the first time. The book is a really good book. I think I will be able to finish it this time around is because my consternation is a lot better due to the fact the symptoms of my mental health challenges are getting better. So, that what lazy thing I plan on doing most of the day besides playing with my cat, Lil Gertie.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Once Again, I’m Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is almost two thirty in the morning in my neck of the woods. I am unable to sleep. I am most likely unable to sleep tonight due to the fact I took multiple naps yesterday (Friday).

One of the things I have been doing since I have been awake is playing with my cat Lil Gertie. Since she appears to be awake most nights, I think she was appreciative that I was awake and able to play with her during her normal waking hours. I love the fact that my bond with Lil Gertie is growing stronger despite her not understanding I dislike getting up at the butt crack of dawn for no apparent reason.

Another thing I have been doing is catching up on the latest issues of my Wonder Woman as I have not been able to purchase the latest issues due to the lack of money. Now that I am working I have that luxury to do so. I have also been able to read the fantasy book that I recently picked up to read. So far the book is good but I am only on the fifth chapter.

I have also been doing some art work. Mostly, I have been coloring and some collaging. Both seem to be self soothing to me. I am almost done coloring a mandala. Maybe when I am done, I will take picture to sure you my reader.

I am going to go back to reading the fantasy book I have been reading. I hope everyone has a good rest of their night if it is still the middle of the night for you. If not have a good morning and/or day. I appreciate you all reading my blog. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate each one of you.

Before I end this post I want to remind you despite being on social security for my disability and a new job, I am attempting to make a few extra few cents to dollars with the advertisements on my blog. If you click on the advertisements I can earn as little as a couple of cents to a couple of dollars. It would be greatly appreciated from my end if you the reading can click on the advertisements so I can have extra cash to pay for holiday gifts for family and friends during the holidays.

Again, thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I appreciate all of you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Frustrating Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is just after two in the morning in my corner of the world. My anxiety and PTSD are acting up big time because the building fire alarm went off once again. And once again I had to get Lil Gertie, my cat, into her carrier to evacuate the building. Only this time it was not a false alarm nor a malfunction. Someone’s apartment caught on fire due to the person falling asleep with a cigarette. Thankfully everyone got out safely and uninjured.

Now that I am back in my apartment, the first thing I did was calm down Lil Gertie as the alarm freaks her out. Now that she is calmed down I am reading a fantasy book. I am enjoying the book so far. I am only on the second chapter. I will tell you more about it in a later post.

Now, I think I am going go back to bed and attempt to sleep. I hope everyone has good night sleep. Good night and peace out world!!!

A Lazy Friday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is Friday morning and I plan to take it easy today while staying in my pajama’s all day. Part of the reason I am doing this is because today marks the seventh month anniversary of my grandma’s death. Yes, that means I am still taking her death hard and obviously still dealing with grief. Another reason why I am taking it easy today is because of the weather. It is a rainy and dreary day here in Seattle. So the weather is fitting my depressive mood at the moment.

Since my grief and depression are acting up, I have decided that staying my pajama’s is a part of my self care plan which means I will staying in all day. Yes, I do have plans to do things here at home as part of my self care. As part of my self care I plan on doing today is watch movies. Not sure what movies I am going to watch but I plan on watching comedies as they are the most helpful to me when I am depressed and/or dealing with grief.

Another things I plan on doing today for good self care is reading. I plan on reading the Science Fiction novel I picked up from my home library. I also plan reading comic books. I will most likely be reading Wonder Woman comic books with a mixture of other comic books.

Having a good self care plan when I plan on staying home is key to making sure my depression doesn’t get worse. So, that is why I decided to do things that are quite helpful for me when I am home. The best part of me staying home now and being lazy is spending time with my cat.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a good day and a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Shower Does A Soul Some Good (Plus Other Things)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! There is nothing like a good nice hot shower to help cleanse both the body and the soul. For me taking a shower is helpful for not just my soul but my depression.

After taking a shower, I decided to deep clean my cat’s kitty litter box. I tend to do this once a week as the normal cleaning of the litter box doesn’t always get rid of the germs; when you just scooping out the poop and pee.

I then did the dishes. After doing the dishes I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors as well as some other household chores. Doing chores gives me a sense of accomplishment which helps with the soul or at least with my soul.

After I doing chores, I worked on a piece of art that I have been working on for about a week. Specifically, it is a painting that is almost finished. I just have to wait for the paint to dry to completely finish it as I need to do another layer of a different color paint.

As I wait for the paint to dry I read the fantasy novel I have been reading. I am really enjoying the book and am having trouble putting it down. On occasion I do put the novel down to read comic books. Specifically, Wonder Woman comic books.

So what I have been doing so far today has given me some hope as well as some peace. Hope and peace that my soul needed. My soul needed this because I needed to do some good self care.

I have realized that I need to do more self care for myself which includes doing everyday chores. Chores that mean taking out the trash and doing the dishes. Yes, I know doing simple chores may not be considered self care or something that helps one’s soul but for me it is self care and helpful for my soul. It also gives me hope and peace when I do fun things as well. Such as art work and reading.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World

Attempted To Go Back To Sleep But A No Go

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, again, World!!! I attempted to go back to sleep and was unsuccessful at it. I might as well as start my normal daily routine. Right now that includes having a cup of tea and reading the news paper. As always, there is never anything good in the news however having this morning routine gives me a since of accomplishment. It gives me something to do to start my day out.

At this moment in time I am a little worried about my health as my doctor wants me to see her every two weeks. I know she is doing it to be preventative so I am not going to the Emergency Room as much but it still worries me. She is also doing it to help be preventative with my mental health symptoms as well. I have had my doctor for nine years now and this is the worst she has seen me mental health wise even though my mental health symptoms are slowly improving.

My therapist will now being seeing me twice a week instead of once a week. It is kind of a similar way to the way my doctor is thinking, to try to keep me from using the Emergency Room too much. Plus, my therapist wants to get deeper into the things that are really bothering me like trauma related things. I don’t know if I like the idea of going deeper into things but if it ultimately helps me and my mental health then I am willing to give it a try.

Right now I need to get my mind off of things so I think I am going to go take a shower which always make me feel better. I will also have some breakfast because food is always a good thing for both your health and mental health.

After taking care of some basic needs I think I will do some good self-care things for myself before I go to my volunteer job. One way I will do some self care is by doing some art. Specifically, I will be doing some painting. After doing some painting, I’ll be doing some reading. I will be reading the fantasy novel as well a comic books. Reading helps me a great deal to get out of my own head and forget about the depression I am struggling with at the moment.

As much as my depression sucks, going to my volunteer job this evening will be quite helpful for me. It will help me focus that my problems aren’t as bad as others. Volunteering helps me get out of my own head. Helping others always helps me be in a better head place.

Now that I am done boring you half out of your mind, I will end this post for now. Thanks so much for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Have a good Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Brain That Won’t Turn Off

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, again, World!!! It is still Friday in my corner of the world. My brain appears that it doesn’t want to turn off. My depression is acting up for some reason at the moment. I am not sure why as I have had a busy day as mentioned in a previous post.

As busy as my day has been, sadly the depression wants to creep in and make it a shitty day. I refuse to have the depression make my day a shitty one which is one of the reasons why I am blogging what’s on my mind at the moment.

On a good note my cat has been very cuddly with me tonight which has been quite helpful for my depression. Having, Lil Gertie, my cat around has helped me a great deal when it comes to my mental health. It appears that Lil Gertie is wanting to help me blog at the moment.

Well, the Seattle Mariner versus Los Angeles Dodgers game is now officially over. The final score is Dodgers 11 and Mariners 1. It appears that the Mariners aren’t doing so well as of lately. The Mariners were doing pretty well before the All-Star break but they aren’t doing all that well now.

Now that the baseball game is over my brain to back to me being depressed and wanting to be back at work. I am really wanting to go back to work. Preferably a job in the mental health field and/or working with the homeless. I want to be a peer specialist again and know that some day I will be one again.

I think what I am going to do know is do a little art. I most likely will be combining the genre’s of coloring and collaging together. It is always fun and interesting when you combine genres when it comes to art.

After doing some art, I think I am going to read for an hour two. I am reading this awesome fantasy book called Ship of Magic. I highly recommend it. Reading helps me keep the depression at bay. Art does the same thing as reading does for my depression.

It is hard to believe that this is going to be my ninth post of the day. I didn’t realize I had so much to say today. I hope you all don’t mind me ramble on about silly and/or stupid shit. Blogging helps me a great deal and I hope it helps someone else in this world of ours.

I think I am going to call it a night. Thank you so much again for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope that everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!