Tag Archives: Depression

Sunday Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Right now I am fighting off some slight depression. The things that have been helping me are spending time with my family, playing with my cat and coloring. Doing the above mentioned things have helped my mood even though it wasn’t as much as I would have liked. My cat has been the most helpful in helping my depression.

As I fight off the depression I realize I have been been future oriented which is a really good thing for me. I have been looking for jobs that I would be willing to do and applying for them. I personally think if I get a part time job it will help my mental health a great deal. I think working will help lessen the depression I suffer with a great deal.

I think I am going to get going. I am wanting to do some art. Have a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Hump Day (Wednesday) Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I had another wonderful awaking with my cat laying next me purring. Waking up next to a purring cat is an awesome way to wake up.

As I woke up this morning, I began to realized that it’s Wednesday and that the weekend is that much closer. I’m looking forward to this weekend because the Blue Angels are here in Seattle for Seafair week. I love the Blue Angels. I will be watching one of their shows this weekend.

As much as I am looking forward to this weekend, I am also looking forward to the day ahead.  I’m looking forward to the day ahead because I woke up with a grateful heart. Plus, I see my therapist. I am needing to discuss with him some issues. Issues regarding my depression symptoms. Depression symptoms that nobody wants. Hell, nobody wants to deal with depression, period.

Well, I am done rambling on about shit that most people don’t want to read about. I am going to end this post. Have a good day. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed Yet Grateful

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning depressed yet grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to be alive as I am realizing that I never would have thought when I was in my late teens and early twenties that I would live to be my current age of 39. I thought way back when that I would have been dead due to suicide.

Despite being depressed and unemployed, I am grateful for my life and the life I have lived thus far. Yes, I have made my fare share of mistake however they have helped shaped who I am today. I have decided to share with you my gratitude list for the day.

  • Life itself
  • My cat, Lil Gertie
  • My family
  • My friends
  • The blogging community
  • The mental health help I am getting
  • My therapist
  • My doctors
  • My apartment
  • My teddy bear
  • Being able to read
  • Music
  • Being able to play the flute and harmonica
  • Summer

That is my gratitude list for today. I hope it helps you find the little things in life to be grateful for. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is extremely appreciated on my end that I have people that read my blog. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Combating Summer Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As I stated in my last post, I was in the hospital for a week and I am now out and doing better. I may be doing better than I was before I went into the hospital however my depression is still there. Having depression any time of the year sucks shit but during the summer it sucks even more.

Despite still fighting off depression, I have been finding ways to combat the depression. The main ways I have been combating depression is spending time with friends and family. Spending time with others has been proven helpful for me.

Another way I have been combating summer depression is attending summer parties. Parties that include other people as well as a great deal of food. In fact I am going to be hosting a summer party later this week. Actually, it is going to be an ice cream social. I’ll be providing the ice cream while the attendee’s will bringing the toppings. I’m looking forward to this get together I am having.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Belated 4th of July Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I want to apologize to you my reader for not blogging as much. I have been struggling a great deal with my depression. My depression symptoms appear to have effected me severely enough that I haven’t been blogging.

Since my depression symptoms got in the way of blogging, I wanted to tell you about my 4th of July.  Despite my depression symptoms acting up, I managed to attended the Mariner versus Angel game here in Seattle. I really enjoyed myself with the exception of having Mariner’s fans throwing things at me. Due to having things thrown at me, I received a ticket to another game. I am also happy to say that the Angels won the game.

As for watching fireworks, I watched them at home on the television as I wasn’t sure how Lil Gertie was going to react to them. Lil Gertie didn’t react all that well to the fireworks. She hid in my dirty clothes hamper which is in my closet. She meowed out fear a good portion while fireworks were going off.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression, Isolation & Voices, Oh My

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World. The last couple of weeks haven’t been the easy for me. I dissociated for nearly an entire week and then last week I was severely depressed. I barely did anything last week. I only went to my appointments and DBT group. I pretty much isolated last week. To add on top of the depression, dissociation and isolation, my voices are acting up.

My mental health treatment team is getting so concerned that they think the hospital might be just around the corner and think they are right. I just don’t know what the hospital can do for me but keep me safe. I am not at risk of self harming or attempting suicide but my treatment team fear for my safety when I am dissociated.

Thank you for reading. Peace out World!!!

So Far So Good

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s been a pretty chill day for me. I went grocery shopping for myself and my grandpa wanted to tag along. It was nice spending time with my grandpa while doing a chore I don’t really like doing; grocery shopping. My grandpa likes grocery shopping for some reason so whenever I go it’s when I spend time with him.

In all honesty if I didn’t need to go grocery shopping, I think I would have isolated today. Not sure why the depression is acting up to where I want to isolate a lot lately. Since I am aware that the depression is acting up to where isolation could become a problem, I know what I need to do. I need to use my DBT skills. Skill that have helped me a great deal.

Today is going to be one of many days that will be above eighty degrees Fahrenheit here in Seattle. Many locals start to melt at eighty degrees. I however start to melt at about ninety five degrees due to spending the majority of my childhood in Southern California. Days like today are the one reason why make an effort to go for walk. Going for walks on days like today help bring up the good parts of my childhood. Most of the good parts involve me being in California living with my dad and grandparents.

I think I am going to go so I can go for a walk. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Roller-Coaster of Thoughts

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I don’t really know what I am going to post about at the moment due to the fact that my emotions have been up and down. Emotions that I wish would just let me have a break.

I have Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group early this afternoon and am looking forward to it. I haven’t completed my homework for DBT yet however I know I will be able to finish it before group starts.

As my emotions appear to be on a roller coaster ride, I am grateful that I can radically accept where they happen to be. I may not like where they are but I am grateful that I am able to acknowledge where they are.

I think I am going to go to another group in late morning discussing a specific word and the meaning of word. Not just the dictionary definition but the definition society has or even a single person may have.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Just A Boring Ole Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sitting here still in disbelief. Disbelief that the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) therapist is retiring and I have been asked to be a “surprise guest” at one of her retirement parties. As a “surprise guest” I will be giving a small speech to how this therapist has been influential in my recovery process. Especially, since she was the therapist I had when I first made an active decision to be in recovery.

As I am in disbelief about being a “surprise speaker” I have to admit that at this moment in time my depression is acting up. I know that it partly has to do with the crappy weather while it also has to do with poor sleep due to insomnia. I know ways to prevent the ways to make sure it doesn’t get worse and that is using my DBT skills. Skills that will help me get through this depression.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Meh Getting Slightly Better

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am still feeling a little meh however the feeling is slightly getting better. Having depression sucks shit but if I acknowledge the depression I know what to do to help myself through it. At least when it is in its milder form for me.

When I realized I was feeling depressed, I hung out with my family. We had waffles for a late breakfast. We also watch a baseball game on television. The team we were rooting for won.

When I got home I worked on my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) homework. I also read ahead for the next group. DBT has helped through some really difficult times. Times where I could have given up but didn’t because I used my DBT skills.

After doing my DBT homework, I read. I read for about an hour. Reading helped me get out of my head. I read a Star Wars book that I am enjoying quite immensely.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!