Tag Archives: Insomnia

Two O’clock in the Morning Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I am not able to sleep at the moment. I am unsure why I am unable to sleep however I personally think it is part to insomnia as well PTSD symptoms. Having little to no sleep also does not help with my depression symptoms. All I know is I would like to get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket.

I might as well as remind you my reader of why there are advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. However I don’t earn the extra money unless you click on to the ad and let it load. So with each little click to the advertisements on my blog earns me a few cents. I know it is not much money but it something. So, I don’t think I will discuss that advertisement thing again for another few weeks as I am sure you don’t want to keep reading about it as I am sure you are not big fans of the advertisements but they do earn me a few extra cents with each click.

Anyways it sounds like the wind is blowing hard and the rain is pounding against my bedroom window. It sounds like there is some nasty weather outside at the moment and it most definitely not the typical Seattle weather for this time of year although it is not unusual for there to be some wind from time to time.  I just hope this nasty goes away by the time the sun rises but I am not holding out hope for it the nastiness to stop.

Enough about the weather here in Seattle lets talk about it being two in the morning in my corner of the world and how Lil Gertie is happy that I am awake. She is happy I am awake because I have been playing with her to help me through the difficult moments I have been have due to not being able to sleep. This is the time of day she is most playful and usually doesn’t expect to play with me as I am in bed but I think she is happy she is able to play since I am up. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. It is hard to believe that in three days from now it will be seven months since I adopted Lil Gertie. I love her so much and can’t imagine life without her right now. Oh yeah before I forget, I order Lil Gertie a new cat carrier as I have been using the box cat carrier I got when I adopted her. I bought it from Amazon last Wednesday and finally it was delivered last Friday. She still doesn’t like being in the carrier but she hasn’t fought going into it when I have but her in it and she has meowed when she has been in it. I have been putting Lil Gertie into the new carrier so she can get use to it and not so afraid of it. I keep her in it for no more than ten minutes to see how she reacts and no I don’t keep her in the carrier when I am not home. I keep the side entrance of the carrier open and down so she could go in and out of it if she wants. She has gone in it to sniff and quickly came out but hopefully she will know it is a safe place for her so when I do have to take her somewhere, it won’t put her in more stress. The last thing I want is to put Lil Gertie in stress out mode.

I think I am going to get going as I am wanting to attempt to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully insomnia gives me a break and that my anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms continue to lessen so I can get some sleep. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You guys are all awesome!!! Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Officially Dead Turkey Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! And to everyone in the United States, Happy Dead Turkey Day, also known as Thanksgiving Day. I find myself awake at this hour in the morning due to insomnia. I have taken my Melatonin, sleeping meds and some sleepy time tea. I have also listened to some sleeping time meditation to help me sleep but it appears nothing is helping at the moment.

I’m not going to lie, today is the first Thanksgiving since my grandma passed away and it is going to be a difficult one. Or at least I expect it to be a difficult one for me and my dad’s side of the family especially for my grandfather. As worried as I am on how I am going to handle today with the emotions that the holidays normally brings to me, I worry about the grief that not only will be happening to me but to my family. I just want to make sure I am able to hold my emotions together for my family and let my emotions go when I am not around my family.

I do have a good self care plan in place specifically for Thanksgiving as my therapist and I came up with one during our session this past Tuesday. My therapist may have still not been feeling better but I am grateful that he is back even if its for part time for the rest of the year. He appears to be the type of person who is rarely out sick but am grateful that he is back. I just wish he was feeling at 100%. I am going to start seeing him twice a week till mid January to help me through the holidays. We might do the two sessions a week till the end of February since my grandma passed away in mid-February and her birthday was in mid January. He just wants to makes sure I continue to stay stable and improve. All he is asking for right now is to stay stable like I am at the moment. But with now pressure.

I am so grateful for you my reader. Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great Thanksgiving Day. Have a wonderful day all. Peace Out, World!!!

Pulling An All Nighter

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I was asked earlier this evening if I could work tomorrow night (Sunday) and I said yes. I am not sure if I am doing a partial shift or a full shift but I hope it is a full shift despite not liking the twelve hour shift. I could really use the money.

I’m thinking maybe that my lack of sleep last night was and is a blessing in disguise. I say this because I can now stay up all night tonight so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Sunday) so I can be awake all night tomorrow for work. To help me stay awake a plan on reading. I will be reading a fantasy book and various comic books. I will also be doing different genres of art work. I am sure I will be doing some coloring as well as some painting but haven’t decided yet.

It is only eight fifteen in the evening in my neck of the woods at the moment and need to get something to eat for dinner and have a long ways to go before I go to bed. I first need to figure out what I am going to have for dinner but not sure what I feel like having to eat.

Before I go end this post I want to ask you favor. Can you please click on the advertisements on my blog. I ask this because every time someone clicks on an ad on my blog I earn anywhere from a couple of cents to a couple of dollars per ad. It is not much money but it is something.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated on my end of things. I hope you all have wonderful rest of your weekend. I hope to blog sometime during my work shift tomorrow if I am able to find the time. Again thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Dreaming of Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep. I am not sure why. I can only guess it is my insomnia acting up once again. I wish I could sleep  but unfortunately I am unable to do so. One of the ways I have been attempting to get back to sleep is by doing some mindfulness and meditation practices. Usually this helps after the third time but sadly it hasn’t helped.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have been trying to keep myself busy. I have worked on my art. Specifically, I have been painting and collaging. I have been doing a combination of both genre’s I mentioned. I must say the particular piece I am working on is coming out quite splendidly.

Another thing I have been doing to keep myself busy is binge watching television. I watched an entire season of Friends as well as a half season of M*A*S*H. I had some great laughs watching both shows as comedies help me in many ways.

Just a reminder that I have advertisements on my blog to help me earn a little extra money. I hope that you my reader would be willing to click on an ad or two, once or twice a week so I can earn the extra money so I can buy people gifts for the holidays coming up. I would be greatly appreciated if clicked on the ads. I may not make much with the ads but every penny counts. I really want to give the people in my life some gifts that they will enjoy for the holidays.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate it very much. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and weekend and that you are able to enjoy some of the weekend. Again, thank you for reading. Hopefully, I will be able to get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Two O’clock in the Morning Bullshit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and all I have to say is a bunch of bullshit for being in the middle of the night. Bullshit that is nothing but a bunch of randomness. I, of course obviously can not sleep if I am blogging at this time of night. I did get a few hours of sleep in since I posted my last post which is a good thing.

Right now, with the way I things are going I have to make sure I use my Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills. My DBT skill have helped me a great deal over the last seventeen years. Yes, the DBT skills helped me in both the good a bad times. Right now my DBT skills are helping me with being somewhere in the middle of good and bad.

One of the things I am going to do is do some art work. I have been working a great deal on combining two genres of art and this painting and collaging. As awesome as it has been combining the two genres, I feel like now is not the time to work on neither painting or collaging and even both. So the art the I am going to focus on right now is coloring. Coloring is a mindfulness skill for me and it is quite meditative to me.

Speaking mindfulness and meditation I will also be doing some mindfulness and meditation practices. As they help me put me in a better place than I am in even if I am in a great place.

I, of course will be doing some binge watching some television tonight. Not sure what show I will be watching but it will be on one of the streaming sites a subscribe to. That will either be Netflix or Hulu but again not sure what type of television I will be watching. Hell, I might even watch a movie instead of television. I am pretty sure you don’t like the ads on my blog as I don’t either but I don’t get paid till I hit $100 and I am barely at $50. So once I get paid I will take of the advertisements off of my blog. So please click on the advertisements once or twice a week so I can get the $100 I need to get paid so I can get gifts for friends and family for the holiday season.

Again, I want to bring up some bullshit I keep bringing up in recent post and hope that you can do me the favor of clicking on the advertisements that appear on my blog. Every time someone clicks on an advertisement and lets it load all the way, I get anywhere from a few cent to a couple of dollars.

I want to thank you all for reading my post especially this one since it is a bullshit post. The main bullshit of this post is me asking you to click on the advertisements on my blog as each click does give me money but I don’t receive that money till it hits $100 which sucks but what can I do about it. Nothing. Thank you again for reading my blog as it is much appreciated. I hope you continue to read my and even click on an advertisement or two. Peace Out, World!!!

It Has Been Five Months

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night which is quite annoying. As annoying as it is to be sleepless in Seattle, today is good and happy day. It is good and happy day because today marks the five month anniversary of me adopting my cat, Lil Gertie. She is an emotional support animal and is extremely intuitive to my emotional needs.

It has been a blessing to have Lil Gertie in my life and am more than pleased that i was able to give Lil Gertie a forever home. Lil Gertie has been in-tuned with my emotional needs since day one but as time goes on, she is becoming more intuitive to my needs especially when it comes to my Anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

Lil Gertie sure loves her wet food. She always begs for it at the same time everyday even though she has dry food available to her 24 hours day. She is not afraid to wake me up when she thinks it is time to be fed her wet cat food. She is one spoiled little cat. Lil Gertie, knows she is queen bee of the house hold. I am really happy that I was able to give Lil Gertie a forever home. She is an amazing little cat and very calm except for when it comes to fireworks and the fire alarm.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things for you reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. Peace Out World!!!

Is It Too Much To Ask For Some Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, once again, World!!! I did manage to get about an hour worth of sleep in before my cat, Lil Gertie, woke me up from a nightmare. She either licks my nose or one of my big toes to wake me up from a nightmare. Yes, any part of a nightmare sucks, I am just happy that Lil Gertie, is insistent in waking me up from one especially at the beginning, I never taught her to do this as I have only had her for five months today and she is about six and a half years old.

So when I got up, I decided to work on one of my workbooks. I find it helpful to work on one of my workbooks as it puts me into a better state of mind. A recovery state of mind. I am working on one that focuses on recovery related to mental health challenges. It is nothing new to me as I have been a part of the recovery movement for awhile now, it is just helpful as a reminder to myself on where I want to be in life.

Okay on to the last bit of the post which I a sure many of you are sick of hearing about. I have advertisements on my blog to help bring in extra cash for me to spend on people for gifts during the holidays. I started doing this before I got my new job but I am going to continue to do it as my new job is an on call job and don’t know how many hours I will be getting once I am done with all the training’s I have to attend to. So I guess what I am asking is that you my reader click on an add or two, once or twice a week to help me bring in extra cash to help pay for gift for friends and family for the holidays as well as bills for the rest of the year.

I am going to attempt to go back to sleep now that it is four o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I hope everyone has a good night sleep or has had a good night sleep. I also hope everyone has good Saturday and weekend. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. Have a wonderful day with whatever you do. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Once Again, I’m Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is almost two thirty in the morning in my neck of the woods. I am unable to sleep. I am most likely unable to sleep tonight due to the fact I took multiple naps yesterday (Friday).

One of the things I have been doing since I have been awake is playing with my cat Lil Gertie. Since she appears to be awake most nights, I think she was appreciative that I was awake and able to play with her during her normal waking hours. I love the fact that my bond with Lil Gertie is growing stronger despite her not understanding I dislike getting up at the butt crack of dawn for no apparent reason.

Another thing I have been doing is catching up on the latest issues of my Wonder Woman as I have not been able to purchase the latest issues due to the lack of money. Now that I am working I have that luxury to do so. I have also been able to read the fantasy book that I recently picked up to read. So far the book is good but I am only on the fifth chapter.

I have also been doing some art work. Mostly, I have been coloring and some collaging. Both seem to be self soothing to me. I am almost done coloring a mandala. Maybe when I am done, I will take picture to sure you my reader.

I am going to go back to reading the fantasy book I have been reading. I hope everyone has a good rest of their night if it is still the middle of the night for you. If not have a good morning and/or day. I appreciate you all reading my blog. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate each one of you.

Before I end this post I want to remind you despite being on social security for my disability and a new job, I am attempting to make a few extra few cents to dollars with the advertisements on my blog. If you click on the advertisements I can earn as little as a couple of cents to a couple of dollars. It would be greatly appreciated from my end if you the reading can click on the advertisements so I can have extra cash to pay for holiday gifts for family and friends during the holidays.

Again, thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I appreciate all of you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Thursday Evening Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! First things first, I finally got some rest today. I was able to take a nap. I took a five hour nap which is a miracle for multiple reason. One, I rarely am able to take a nap. Secondly, sleeping for five hours for me even when it’s at night is an extreme rarity. So, I am thrilled that I was able to sleep and am grateful it was for so long. I do worry that I won’t be able to sleep tonight due to such a long nap.

I did let my work know today via email that I have a disability and that I will need accommodations. I informed them of two accommodations right off the bat in the email and informed them I will let them know of the other accommodations I will need or willing to work out with them by then end of next week. My supervisor’s supervisor thanked me for let me know and keep him informed and if any other accommodations come up the longer I work there don’t hesitate to inform the appropriate people who will be in the need to know category.  It feels like I am very supported at my new job.

Even though I have had an overall good day, with a positive email from work regarding disability accommodations and a five hour nap, I still have self harm urges. Self harm urges that I wish weren’t so strong at the moment. (Side Note: I will not self harm as I already have a safety plan in place and have talked with a crisis work on whom I can call back if needed.) Having self harm urges when things appear to be going well are quite annoying. Hell, even when things aren’t going well self harm urges are annoying.

I think after I am done posting this post that I will binge watch some television on Netflix or Hulu. Not sure what shows, I will binge watch but it will be a great way to vedge out for a few hours especially if I am unable to sleep tonight.

As a quick reminder to you all, I have advertisements on my blog. The advertisements are meant for me to earn a few extra cents to dollars a month. The way I earn the money is if you my reader click on the advertisement. I would appreciate it from the bottom of my heart if you could click on an advertisement or two once a week if you feel like helping a fellow blogger out. I am trying to earn extra money to buy gifts for friends and family for the upcoming holidays.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Frustrating Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is just after two in the morning in my corner of the world. My anxiety and PTSD are acting up big time because the building fire alarm went off once again. And once again I had to get Lil Gertie, my cat, into her carrier to evacuate the building. Only this time it was not a false alarm nor a malfunction. Someone’s apartment caught on fire due to the person falling asleep with a cigarette. Thankfully everyone got out safely and uninjured.

Now that I am back in my apartment, the first thing I did was calm down Lil Gertie as the alarm freaks her out. Now that she is calmed down I am reading a fantasy book. I am enjoying the book so far. I am only on the second chapter. I will tell you more about it in a later post.

Now, I think I am going go back to bed and attempt to sleep. I hope everyone has good night sleep. Good night and peace out world!!!