Tag Archives: Job

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World from Seattle, Washington!!! This week has been quite a week for me emotion wise especially when it comes to depression and PTSD related to recent traumas that triggered past traumas. Traumas that were brought up in therapy which will be discussed later in this blog post.

Anyway, I went to work last Sunday and did crisis coverage. I continued to due crisis coverage on Sunday night despite vomiting most of the night. Thankfully, I only received one crisis call that just needed some resources. Due to vomiting most of Sunday night, I didn’t go to work on Monday. I did go to work on Tuesday and Wednesday. I struggled both days with PTSD related shit which sucked. I missed work on Thursday due to being in the emergency room most of Wednesday night.

I was in the emergency room of a local hospital most of Wednesday night due to self harm reasons which is why I missed work on Thursday. The self harm act was that of me punching a brick wall several times. Thankfully, I didn’t break anything. All I ended up with was a very bruised and swollen hand. I am also thankful that I was not suicidal in anyway and was able make a solid safety plan. I was also able to have a telephone check in with my therapist later in the afternoon for about a half an hour.

As Friday goes, I dissociated a lot due to reasons I’d rather not discuss but I did inform my therapist what happened via email and during our session on Friday. Therapy was fucking hard yesterday (Friday). We discussed what happened yesterday morning and why I was dissociating a lot. I also shared a lot of scary shit as far as trauma goes that I experienced as a child. Shit that has been brought up by the recent trauma of being raped. My therapist showed a lot of compassion and empathy. She also allowed me a lot of space to share that hard shit which meant our session lasted an hour and a half instead of an hour.

As far as today has gone, I haven’t done much to report. I did go to the U-District Farmers Market and got an awesome breakfast sandwich which I have been doing every Saturday for the last four or five Saturdays now. I think I am going to make it a weekly thing for me every Saturday since the U-District is every Saturday year round.

As far as what I have been for myself self care wise this week since it has been quite challenging has varied. I of course have been spending some time with my beloved cat, Billie. I have also been doing daily mindfulness meditation practices. In fact, last week, I have been doing at least four a day. I have been using the Calm App for at least two of the daily mindfulness meditation practices while other practices have been on my own or with others. I also have been doing a lot of art work. I have been doing various forms of art work such as coloring and diamond art. I also have been doing various types of crafts which include latch hook and cross stitching. I also have been doing a lot of reading books. Reading has been quite helpful with dealing with my PTSD.

That’s it for my weekly check in. Have a great weekend!!! Peace Out, World!!!

The Uncertainty and Plans of the Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle. Right now, I should be at work in the morning meeting but sadly I am not. If you read my last blog post you know that I self harmed by hitting a brick wall in the emergency stair well of my apartment building. Thankfully, nothing is broken but my hand hurts like fucking hell but that is my own fault.

Despite an injured hand there is some uncertainty of the day ahead as well as some plans for the day. I am really not one hundred percent sure on what I am going to do today. The only thing I have planned for today is to go to the grocery store and buy some food. Or at least enough food to last me till tomorrow when I get paid as I don’t have much money at the moment. Another thing that is planned today is spending it with my cat, Billie. I also plan to do multiple mindfulness meditation practices through the Calm App as well as just sitting quietly with my cat in my lap.

The uncertainty of the days is how I am going to spend most of my day as I usually work on Thursdays. I mean I can make plans but I really don’t want to do much of anything but get some food, spend time with my cat and do mindfulness meditation practices. I guess the uncertainty of the day ahead of keeping myself busy with some of the usual stuff I keep myself busy with. That stuff is doing art work such as coloring and diamond art. I also plan on doing some dot to dot which I find surprisingly relaxing. I also plan on reading a couple of books. One is a fiction novel that I am really enjoying and having a challenging time finishing due to the fact that my concentration is poor due to depression and recent trauma. I also plan on reading a book on Tarot Cards for beginners. I am hoping to learn more about Tarot to help myself with my recovery and hopefully help friends with decisions they make regarding their lives.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Bit Of A Set Back

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World from Seattle in the middle of the night. I am tired as hell because I have been in the emergency room due to self harm. I punched a brick wall in the emergency stair well of my apartment building. Thankfully, nothing is broken and my hand is just extremely bruised and swollen. I am now home from the emergency room. I am NOT suicidal nor was I when I was self harmed. The doctors and the social worker were cool and supportive as well as appeared to understand why I self harmed. I self harmed because the PTSD symptoms from the recent sexual assault were bad which triggered other PTSD symptoms from other traumas I experienced throughout my life. I did a safety plan with the doctors and social worker.

Now that I am home and not at all ready to go to bed despite being tired I plan on doing my safety plan. I of course spent time with my cat, Billie who is currently curled up in my lap purring as I think he is happy for me to be home. In fact my hand is hurting as I type this blog but I can deal with it especially since I received some powerful pain medicine. Plus, my cat, Billie is helping me not focus on the pain.

I think if I can tolerate the pain in my hand, I will try to do some art work. Specifically, I will color. I will also attempt to do some diamond art as well. Not only that I will do some dot to dots if my pain doesn’t get too bad. It’s cool that they have adult dot to dots.

I think I will also attempt to do some crafts. One craft I will attempt to do but might not be able to do so if my hand hurts too badly is cross stitching. I love to cross stitch. Another craft I can do and learning how to do it is latch hook. I don’t really need to use my bad hand to latch hook.

Of course I will be listening to music if I am doing any art work or crafting. Music helps me be creative and also helps me deal with my emotions.

If crafting or art work is something that I cannot do due to my self harm injury of punching a brick wall I can always read. Reading helps me refocus if I am reading non fiction and it also helps me get out of my own reality if I am reading fiction.

I of course will be getting some sleep tonight. I just don’t know when at the moment. Due to the current lack of sleep, I did text and email my supervisors that I will not be into work later today. I am sure they won’t be too happy about it but the doctors and social worker think I should let my hand heal a little bit especially since Thursdays are my Fridays and my weekends are Fridays and Saturdays. I love my job and wish I could go to work later today but since part of my job is writing (typing) notes, it is best to give my hand a rest even though I am typing this blog post.

Before I go to sleep I plan on doing a mindfulness meditation with the Calm App. The Calm App is amazing and I appreciate being able to use it to help me with my everyday life as well as my recovery with my mental health challenges.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging From Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from my work place in Seattle. Right now things at work have been quite busy at work. I didn’t see very many clients today but the clients I did see happened to be extended encounters. Three out of the five clients I saw we did art work. Specifically, the art work wee did happened to be coloring. My clients opened up to me about stuff they haven’t told anyone else and it felt good to be that trusted person. The other two folks I saw just wanted to go for a walk and talk about everyday things. I love my job as I get to color with my clients which I enjoy and I also get to walk with my clients which is something else I enjoy.

I best be going as I need to finish up my notes for the day. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog as if you didn’t read my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mixtures of Emotions of Not Going to Work Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from Seattle!!! Right now I am having some mixed emotions about not going to work today as I don’t start work till 12:00noon on Mondays and it is 2:22pm in the afternoon. I didn’t go to work due to vomiting most of last night which is most likely due to food poisoning. Not only my depression and PTSD is severely acting up. Going to work when my mental health challenges are acting up seems to help when I am at work as I am not focusing on my own shit. I love my job and love helping the clients I serve as well as helping out my colleagues.

To catch you up from my last blog post, I ended up doing a mindfulness meditation with the Calm App with my cat Billie, on my lap purring. I think he gets as much of the Calm App as I do. I am grateful that Billie, my cat joins me with my mindfulness meditation with the Calm App a good eighty percent of the time. In fact even when I don’t do the Calm App, I still am able to do mindfulness meditation with Billie my cat when he lays on my lap and purrs. It’s amazing how both the Calm App and my cat, Billie help me with my mindfulness meditation practices.

After doing mindfulness meditation practices, I ended up going back to sleep since I woke up pretty early and vomited most of the night. I must have needed the sleep as I think I still need the sleep because I am still tired as hell. I think the lack of sleep was a combination of vomiting most of the night as well as insomnia and PTSD symptoms related to the most recent trauma I experienced as well as other past traumas I experienced in the past as child and young adult.

So, enough about other boring crap and back to more boring shit. When I woke up from a nap, I decided to make sure I ate some lunch. As I tend to not eat due to trauma related shit as well as being depressed. I really think the PTSD and trauma is what is causing the depression symptoms which highly sucks shit. After eating, I took a shower which helped me feel slightly better but not better enough to feel like going to work would be helpful for me, my clients or my colleagues.

As much as I wish I felt well enough to go to work as it could be helpful but I am partially happy that I didn’t go. My plan for today is to do some arts and crafts while listening to music. One of the art projects I plan on doing is coloring and of course while listening to music. Another art project I will attempt to do is Diamond Art while listening to music. I am also planning on doing craft projects that include Latch Hook and Cross Stitch. Of course music will be playing in the background.

In fact everything, I am doing today is a part of my DBT Skills. DBT skills help me a great deal when I don’t sleep well as well as when my PTSD, Trauma issues and Depression happens to be acting up. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t struggling with self harm because I am. That is why I am planning on doing everything I mention in this particular blog post but will not self harm.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post except that spending time with my cat Billie, doing mindfulness meditation practices and being creative will be quite helpful for me. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Taking A Self Care Day Off From Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle as it is still morning from Seattle!!! I am supposed to be working today as it is Monday. In fact Mondays are my Tuesdays. My work schedule on Mondays is that I work 12:00pm to 8:00pm while I work 8:00am to 4:00pm on Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays except when I am doing crisis coverage.

Since I called in sick today due PTSD symptoms that caused me to vomit most of the night, I informed the bosses that I vomited due to the possibility of food poisoning and that I most likely will be back to work tomorrow. I have to take a client to the Social Security office which can last hours which sucks shit.

After calling in sick via text message and email, I did a mindfulness meditation practice with the Calm App. Doing mindfulness meditation with Calm App is extremely helpful for me. I also do mindfulness with my cat, Billie as he lays on my lap purring as I pet him.

As for the rest of the day, I plan on doing some self care with arts and crafts while listening to music. I am first planning on starting with coloring as I listen to music as that will be something I am able to do that isn’t so frustrating at times. Of course while still listening to music, I plan on doing some cross stitching as I know that cross stitching can take some time to do. Another thing I plan on doing that will take patience and time while listening to music is doing diamond art. It’s a bit challenging to do but it is fun.

After doing some arts and craft listening to music, I plan on reading a book that I am really enjoying. It is called The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan. I personally think I would have been finished with by now if I didn’t have a recent traumatic trauma within the last month. I am hoping to get finished with the book by this Saturday (September 9th of this year).

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early To Be Up

Posted on by Gertie

Good very early Monday morning, World! I sadly have to work today but at least I do not have to be at work till twelve noon, pm. So, my plan to get back to sleep is not only to read a book that I am really enjoying reading. I am looking forward to how it ends.

I will also do some artwork by coloring. In fact I will be coloring as I listen to music. I really enjoy coloring and doing artwork especially when listening to music.

I should get going as I need to relax so I can get back to sleep so I cannot be a cranky bucket at work. I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! My weekly check in will be short this evening as I haven’t done much this week like I had planned on doing. I did go to work and am thrilled to be back to work I sadly, didn’t get what I was planning on doing with crafting regarding latch hooking and cross stitching. I did get to read the book I am reading as well as coloring. So, I did accomplish something other than my normal self care stuff like mindfulness meditation as well as going to work. I love my job. I have course spent time with my cat, Billie.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie

Monday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie

Tuesday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie

Wednesday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat Billie

Thursday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Work
  • Art (color)
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie

Friday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Laundry
  • Art (color)
  • Read

Saturday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Farmer Market
  • Breakfast at Farmers Market
  • Art (color)
  • Read

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is Saturday evening and I am starting to do my weekly check-ins again. I just want to keep you the reader as engaged as possible. I know it sounds silly especially since I just talk about my boring life.

So, this week I went back to work after being gone for about a month due to medical reasons. Well technically I was on leave due to a trauma. A trauma that hit me to my core that sadly triggered some severe PTSD symptoms from past traumas. Traumas that I personally don’t really want to deal with especially things I thought I already dealt with.

Enough with discussing trauma and back to discussing work. Being back to work is a bit weird. I am happy to be back to work but it just feels weird. I love my job and am grateful to be back and only had to take my extra break once.

Part of my work week I spent two days at the Peer Pathways Conference. It was a huge growing experience for me. Hell, it was a growing experience for many in attendance for many folks who attended the conference this year. It was also great to meet in person again. I did have some sensory overload during the conference however I enjoyed myself.

I also had a session with my therapist which was hard but hard in a good way. My therapist is awesome and appreciated what she has to say. I also had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner. We of discussed meds and one of them was increased to help with my PTSD symptoms.

It wouldn’t be a weekly check-in without discussing my awesome cat, Billie. I love my cat and am grateful to have him in my life. It is hard to think about life without him. He is a very good and loving kitty.

I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!