Tag Archives: Latch hook

Update From Last Blog Post

Posted on by Gertie

As I stated in my last blog post, I bought some drugs to help numb the pain of the trauma I experienced a couple of months ago. PTSD suck shit and so does depression. Sadly, I took the pills and they are not doing what I had hoped they would do. Which proves to me that the positive skills that I built over the years help much better that the stupid ass drugs. So no more drugs for me in pill form or in any form for that matter.

The one thing that really helps with my mental health symptoms is my cat, Billie. Billie gives me the unconditional love that I am in much need of. Cats as well as other pets know how to give unconditional love. I love my cat, Billie so very much and I am so grateful for him.

Speaking of love, I know that my friends and family love me. I may not always get along with my family but I know that they love me and support me the best they can. My friends love me as well and are my best support besides my cat being my best support. I love the fact that I have the support of my friends and family.

Lets not forget music and how it gives me a high that drugs do not give me the high. Music gives me great memories and memories to last a lifetime especially when I attend with friends. I also love playing my flute which gives me an amazing high.

Another type of creativity that gives me a good form of high is arts and crafts. As far as art goes, I do a lot of coloring and absolutely doing it. I am also learning how to do Diamond Art. So, far with Diamond Art, I have separated some items before starting the artwork of Diamond Art which I am cool with. As far as the crafting part, I am crossing stitching and am okay at it. I could do better at it but at least I am improving at it. As far as the Latch Hook part of the crafting, I am just learning how to do it and need a lot of work on it.

The one thing that helps me the most is mindfulness meditation through the Calm App. I also do mindfulness meditation with my cat when he is on my lap purring. Mindfulness Meditation helps starts my day properly as well as end it properly.

Something that I find helpful as of lately is learning about Tarot. I am learning about Tarot by reading, journaling, as well as attempting to read the Tarot Cards for myself and of course workbook. I hope that doing Tarot will help me with my recovery process.

Of course another thing that has proven helpful for my recovery is doing recovery type workbooks. Workbooks help me learn skills as well as build on skills I know that I can build on. Workbooks are very helpful for me.

I don””t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Ups and Downs of Mental Health Challenges

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World from Seattle, Washington. I need to be upfront with you all and I think I have an addiction to some pills. Sadly, I gave money to a neighbor and didn’t get all the pills that I was promised. Honestly, I don’t want the pills as I don’t like how they make me feel. I do want the money back I gave to the neighbor. If he gives me the pills which I know he will, I will throw them down the toilet and inform my therapist. I think I started the pills because of a recent sexual assault that happened at the end of July of this year. I will be stopping the pills with the help of my friends and therapist.

On the plus note, I took this week off due to taking pills and didn’t want to get fired especially since I started the pills this week. I don’t want to lose my job as I love my job and the work I do. There are some other issues I am getting into trouble at work for but it has nothing to do with the pills and will discuss it at another time.

Something I have found helpful lately is doing mindfulness meditation practice. It gets me into a peaceful type of mind and more grounded. It also helps me do more journaling to process my emotions and feelings. It is helpful for my mental health recovery.

The thing that helps with ups regarding my mental health symptoms is art work. In fact coloring helps a great deal with lifting my mood as it brings up a positive mood. Another thing that I am learning is art wise Diamond Art. I am finding it fun and somewhat hitous because you have to sort some stuff out which is okay because I know it will come out beautiful.

I am also starting to do crafting projects. One I have done before and will start again and that is cross stitching. I find cross stitching fun. Another crafting that I am just starting out and having some challenges is Latch Hooking. I know I will get a hang of it once I practice more.

Another thing I need to not just practice more is to read more on Tarot. I feel like reading and practicing Tarot Cards will help me with my recovery journey. I am all for trying new things to help me with my recovery journey. Well, all except drugs and pills won’t be helpful with recovery. I do know everything mentioned in this blog post will be helpful for my recovery with the exception of drugs and pills.

I’m just really the person who I bought the pills from, that I get them so I can flush them down the toilet so I cannot have another issue on my already many issues with my mental health issues.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Noon Time Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from Seattle. It is officially twelve noon here in Seattle. I have a lot on my mind. Mostly good stuff but lets start with the not good stuff. I went to work on Sunday and it went well. Sadly, I did not go to work on Monday, today (Tuesday) nor will I be going tomorrow as my mental health challenges are acting up. I am only going on Thursday as I have to do a Correction Action Plan also know as a CAP and I want to make sure I attend as I don’t want my supervisor to think I am avoiding it even though I think it is not needed for various reasons I rather not discuss right now. I do plan on working on some notes that need to be done by the end of September and I know I will get paid for it.

My depression and PTSD is acting up so I started my day doing mindfulness meditation practice with the Calm App as well as cuddling with my beloved cat, Billie. Billie is a great way to do mindfulness meditation practices.

Since my PTSD symptoms are acting extremely badly by dissociation and flashbacks as well as having my depression acting up, I plan on doing some self care acts like mindfulness meditation. I plan on doing some art work by coloring and doing diamond art. I am also planning on crafting by doing Latch Hook and Cross Stitching. I am also planning on outreaching friends and family just to contact other people in my world.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!

Middle of the Night Ramblings & Some Frustrations

Posted on by Gertie

Good middle of the night from Seattle. I am tired as fucking hell. I sadly, woke up from a horrific nightmare that included body memories. PTSD and depression are no joke and I am grateful to both my friends and the mental health treatment team. I am also grateful for my cat who is very helpful. My family has been helpful even though they are not aware of my most recent trauma.

Despite not being able to sleep due to PTSD and insomnia, I am a little peeved with Amazon as some of my items that I ordered have not arrived . Amazon informed me that I have to wait three business days which sucks shit but oh well, it is stuff I need to clean my apartment. On another note some of the stuff that is late is stuff that will help me with my coping skills regarding the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis. Amazon can be clueless at times but at least they are quick on delivering books.

As far as Amazon goes, I am waiting on a multitude of different types of creative outlets for me to do. I am gong to try embroidery. I don’t think it is not all that different from cross stitching but still willing to give it a try. Sadly the embroidery and cross stitching is delayed by Amazon which sucks shit. At least on the plus side some of some of my diamond art is being sent but not all of it. I did get a couple of cross stitching things but now all that I ordered like everything else I ordered.

Now on to my work. I missed yesterday due to some PTSD and depression issues which sucks. Having a mental health challenge sucks especially when it affects your work. In fact I will be missing my job later today when it is not in the middle of the night. I really do love my job.

I am planning on hanging out with family for some breakfast and friends for food. I love hanging out with people especially when food is involved.

Thank you for reading Peace Out, World and have a good rest of you night.

An Unexpected Day Off

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle!!! Well, it is still morning in Seattle. I am taking the day off unless my supervisor says it is okay to do notes from home as I take care of my grandpa. I doubt my supervisor will say yes but it is always worth asking. I might do a handful of notes even if my supervisor says no because I don’t want to get behind on them.

On another note, I get to spend time with my grandpa but sadly not as long as I would have liked to as my two uncles and I are splitting up in shifts to take care of my grandpa. I love my grandpa so much and I admit I am a spoiled brat from my grandpa as I am an only grandchild on my dads side of the family. I love spending time with my 93 year old grandpa especially since he and my grandma helped my dad raise me. I miss my grandma so very much. I am extremely grateful that at the age of 44 that I still have a grandparent alive.

Of course after helping my grandpa out, I will be hanging out with a friend who will be treating me to lunch at my favorite restaurant of Red Robin here in the Seattle area. I love Red Robin and I always get the same thing which is a Whisky Rive Barbeque Burger with extra cheddar cheese and onion strings. I also love me some endless fries with campfire sauce. Another plus side to spending time with a very good friend.

When I get home from helping my grandpa and having lunch with my friend, I will be hanging out with my cat as well as spending time with a neighbor who happens to be a great friend. My friend and I will be working on some crafting as well as some art work. My goals for the crafting and art work are learning to do some latch work as I am struggling with it. I am doing okay with the cross stitching stuff. As far as the Diamond Art I am learning how to do this and making sure I have the proper equipment for it to make sure I do it correctly. Sometimes having the correct supplies such I have the proper supplies to hold what is needed to not lose what I need to create the artwork. As far as coloring, it is the easiest thing for me to do. I love to color and sometimes my cat, Billie tries to color with me.

Billie is doing great and sleep soundly at the moment. I love my cat so very much. I am grateful for his unconditional love he gives me. Animals give unconditional love and that is why I love them so much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog.It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog.Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not the Best Night for Sleep for Me

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle. It is the middle of the night here in Seattle, Washington and I have not received much sleep tonight. Partly because I am on crisis coverage for work on the team I work on. There have been a handful of clients calling in crisis needing to talk and I totally understand. Life can and is challenging at times.

In fact life is challenging for me at the moment due to me dealing with my own type of crisis due to a recent trauma which is the other part of why I am unable to sleep. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia as well as PTSD symptoms such as nightmares which doesn’t help my depression whatsoever.

On that note since I have not been able to sleep due to being on crisis coverage or dealing with my own shit, I have been doing quite a bit. Lets start with the obvious of me spending time with my kitty cat, Billie. Not only do I love Billie but Billie provides unconditional love as well as helps me with mindfulness meditation practices.

Not only does Billie help me with mindfulness meditation practice, Billie also reminds me to do mindfulness meditation practice with the Calm App. I do several mindfulness meditations with the Calm App as well as with Billie and other ways I have learned to do mindfulness meditation practice.

Besides doing mindfulness meditation practices, I have been doing some art as well as some crafts. I have been doing art work by coloring as well as diamond art. The crafts I have been doing happen to be latch hook and cross stitching. Both diamond art and latch hook, I am finally sort of kind of getting the hang of it. I am really enjoying being able to do various types of arts and crafts.

I am also learning something else besides new types of arts and crafts. I am learning about Tarot and Tarot Cards by reading about it in a couple of books. Specifically books for beginners. I also have three sets of Tarot Cards as well as a Tarot Workbook. I also have three or four Tarot Card journals to put in my Tarot Card readings; specifically on myself and once I get comfortable with other people’s readings.

Since I mentioned journals and workbooks I got a couple of new journals I will start writing in. One of which will help me get myself out of my comfort zone. I also have several recovery workbooks, that I have had over the years and have never started and/or finished. So, It is my plan to not just work on the journal stuff along with the tarot stuff but the recovery workbook stuff as I feel like most everything I have mentioned has and will help me with my recovery. That includes working yesterday as well as being crisis coverage till eight in the morning Seattle time today (Monday).

Good thing I don’t have to work later today (Monday) like I normally do but I had three doctors appointments that were all sadly cancelled last Thursday and Friday. I do have a “fourth” appointment which is a follow up appointment due to a recent emergency room visit from self harming myself by hitting a brick wall. My hand still hurts like hell and the bruise is nastier than hell but at least the swelling is going down.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I am sorry it is such a long post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday ahead as I have the day off even though I am going to see my doctor. Peace Out, World!!!

A Bit Of A Set Back

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World from Seattle in the middle of the night. I am tired as hell because I have been in the emergency room due to self harm. I punched a brick wall in the emergency stair well of my apartment building. Thankfully, nothing is broken and my hand is just extremely bruised and swollen. I am now home from the emergency room. I am NOT suicidal nor was I when I was self harmed. The doctors and the social worker were cool and supportive as well as appeared to understand why I self harmed. I self harmed because the PTSD symptoms from the recent sexual assault were bad which triggered other PTSD symptoms from other traumas I experienced throughout my life. I did a safety plan with the doctors and social worker.

Now that I am home and not at all ready to go to bed despite being tired I plan on doing my safety plan. I of course spent time with my cat, Billie who is currently curled up in my lap purring as I think he is happy for me to be home. In fact my hand is hurting as I type this blog but I can deal with it especially since I received some powerful pain medicine. Plus, my cat, Billie is helping me not focus on the pain.

I think if I can tolerate the pain in my hand, I will try to do some art work. Specifically, I will color. I will also attempt to do some diamond art as well. Not only that I will do some dot to dots if my pain doesn’t get too bad. It’s cool that they have adult dot to dots.

I think I will also attempt to do some crafts. One craft I will attempt to do but might not be able to do so if my hand hurts too badly is cross stitching. I love to cross stitch. Another craft I can do and learning how to do it is latch hook. I don’t really need to use my bad hand to latch hook.

Of course I will be listening to music if I am doing any art work or crafting. Music helps me be creative and also helps me deal with my emotions.

If crafting or art work is something that I cannot do due to my self harm injury of punching a brick wall I can always read. Reading helps me refocus if I am reading non fiction and it also helps me get out of my own reality if I am reading fiction.

I of course will be getting some sleep tonight. I just don’t know when at the moment. Due to the current lack of sleep, I did text and email my supervisors that I will not be into work later today. I am sure they won’t be too happy about it but the doctors and social worker think I should let my hand heal a little bit especially since Thursdays are my Fridays and my weekends are Fridays and Saturdays. I love my job and wish I could go to work later today but since part of my job is writing (typing) notes, it is best to give my hand a rest even though I am typing this blog post.

Before I go to sleep I plan on doing a mindfulness meditation with the Calm App. The Calm App is amazing and I appreciate being able to use it to help me with my everyday life as well as my recovery with my mental health challenges.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mixtures of Emotions of Not Going to Work Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World from Seattle!!! Right now I am having some mixed emotions about not going to work today as I don’t start work till 12:00noon on Mondays and it is 2:22pm in the afternoon. I didn’t go to work due to vomiting most of last night which is most likely due to food poisoning. Not only my depression and PTSD is severely acting up. Going to work when my mental health challenges are acting up seems to help when I am at work as I am not focusing on my own shit. I love my job and love helping the clients I serve as well as helping out my colleagues.

To catch you up from my last blog post, I ended up doing a mindfulness meditation with the Calm App with my cat Billie, on my lap purring. I think he gets as much of the Calm App as I do. I am grateful that Billie, my cat joins me with my mindfulness meditation with the Calm App a good eighty percent of the time. In fact even when I don’t do the Calm App, I still am able to do mindfulness meditation with Billie my cat when he lays on my lap and purrs. It’s amazing how both the Calm App and my cat, Billie help me with my mindfulness meditation practices.

After doing mindfulness meditation practices, I ended up going back to sleep since I woke up pretty early and vomited most of the night. I must have needed the sleep as I think I still need the sleep because I am still tired as hell. I think the lack of sleep was a combination of vomiting most of the night as well as insomnia and PTSD symptoms related to the most recent trauma I experienced as well as other past traumas I experienced in the past as child and young adult.

So, enough about other boring crap and back to more boring shit. When I woke up from a nap, I decided to make sure I ate some lunch. As I tend to not eat due to trauma related shit as well as being depressed. I really think the PTSD and trauma is what is causing the depression symptoms which highly sucks shit. After eating, I took a shower which helped me feel slightly better but not better enough to feel like going to work would be helpful for me, my clients or my colleagues.

As much as I wish I felt well enough to go to work as it could be helpful but I am partially happy that I didn’t go. My plan for today is to do some arts and crafts while listening to music. One of the art projects I plan on doing is coloring and of course while listening to music. Another art project I will attempt to do is Diamond Art while listening to music. I am also planning on doing craft projects that include Latch Hook and Cross Stitch. Of course music will be playing in the background.

In fact everything, I am doing today is a part of my DBT Skills. DBT skills help me a great deal when I don’t sleep well as well as when my PTSD, Trauma issues and Depression happens to be acting up. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t struggling with self harm because I am. That is why I am planning on doing everything I mention in this particular blog post but will not self harm.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post except that spending time with my cat Billie, doing mindfulness meditation practices and being creative will be quite helpful for me. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation via the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read
  • Music
  • Art (color)
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Spend time with my cat

Monday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read
  • Music
  • Art (color)
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Spend time with my cat

Tuesday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read
  • Music
  • Art (color)
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Spend time with my cat

Wednesday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm Appp.
  • Work
  • Read
  • Music
  • Art (color)
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Spend time with cat

Thursday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm App
  • Work
  • Read
  • Music
  • Art (color)
  • Latch Hook
  • Cross Stitch
  • Spend time with cat

Friday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm App
  • Volunteer at Cat City
  • Read
  • Music
  • Do arts and crafts
  • Read
  • Spend time with my cat

Saturday

  • Walk
  • Mindfulness Meditation with the Calm App
  • Farmer Market and get a yummy breakfast sandwich from the Farmer Market.
  • Read
  • Music
  • Do art arts and crafts
  • Spend time with my cat.

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! My weekly check in will be short this evening as I haven’t done much this week like I had planned on doing. I did go to work and am thrilled to be back to work I sadly, didn’t get what I was planning on doing with crafting regarding latch hooking and cross stitching. I did get to read the book I am reading as well as coloring. So, I did accomplish something other than my normal self care stuff like mindfulness meditation as well as going to work. I love my job. I have course spent time with my cat, Billie.