A Monday With Struggles & Other Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been a Monday full of struggles. Struggles that are of concern to me as well as my therapist. I went into my mental health agency to attend a group and was able to briefly check in with my therapist. My therapist has some concerns about the increase of depression symptoms and self harm urges. We only talked for about an half an hour as we have an hour appointment tomorrow.

As concerned as my therapist is with increased symptoms he was “happy” that I decided to show up for a group today. Not just any group but Art Group. My therapist thinks doing art is therapeutic for me and I agree with him. It puts me in a better head space even just all so slightly at times. I am extremely grateful that I attended art group today.

I have been doing some good self care since I got home from my brief check in with my therapist and art group. I came home and immediately put my pajamas on and made hot chocolate.  As I sat down with my hot chocolate my cat, Lil Gertie, jumped into my lap. Drinking hot chocolate and petting my cat are two very good self care activities for me especially at the same time.

Now I think it is time to go. I need to get me something to eat. It is time for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I want to thank you for continuing to read my blog and enjoying what I have to say. I do not have much more to say in this post. So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Struggling This Monday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! It is still Monday morning in my corner of the world and unfortunately I am still struggling with depression symptoms which sucks shit. Since my last post and since I am still struggling I decided to email my therapist in hopes that he will call me at some point today to check in with me even though I have an appointment with him tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon. My therapist is usually pretty good with checking in with me when I email and/or call him when I am struggling.

Since, it is only ten o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and am waiting for my therapist to get back to me, I have managed to do some self care. The self care includes me cleaning out the cat’s litter box (yes, I know that is weird), taking a shower and getting me some food to eat. The shower was quite helpful as I had not taken a shower since Friday evening. I had left over pizza for breakfast.

Another thing I have done since my last post as I wait for my therapist to call me from the email I sent is I went and picked up my meds. I am still on weekly med pick ups and I hope when I see my psychiatric nurse practitioner next week that she will be willing put me back on monthly med pick ups. I am grateful that I don’t have to pick up my meds from my mental health agency and am even more grateful that they aren’t daily pick ups.

Now, I think I am going to spend time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she has been attempting to get my attention as I have been writing this post. I love my cat very much. This is my first holiday season with her and I plan on spoiling her for Christmas. She is going to be receiving a lot of toys.

I don’t have much else to say in  this post. I want to thank you for reading as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for each one of you for reading my blog.  Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone continues to have a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week. For those who celebrate Hanukkah, I hope your last days of your holiday are well celebrated. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing Like A Nightmare Early On A Monday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning and people are starting to get up to get ready for their work day. I have been awake since two thirty this morning due to a nightmare and it is now five o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. Waking up to a nightmare is absolutely no fun. At least my cat did her job and woke me up from the nightmare before it got any worse. Some how she trained herself to wake me up from a nightmare by either licking my nose or licking one of my big toes. Not sure how she trained herself to do that but I am grateful for it.

Since I woke up from a nightmare, I have been reading comic books and listening to music. Specifically, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music. For some reason reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music has been quite helpful for me the last two and half hours which I am extremely grateful for.

Now that it is five o’clock in the morning, I will be watching the morning news as I haven’t kept up to date on the news via television all weekend. I did however read the newspaper over the weekend. Sometimes staying away from the news is quite helpful for my mental health and this past weekend it was quite helpful as my depression symptoms have been increasing which sucks shit.

I don’t have much more to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great start to the work week. I also hope everyone has a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

It Feels Like A Monday Because It is A Monday

Good Evening, World!!! It sure feels like a Monday. Yes, I realize it is Monday but it most definitely feels like Monday. It feels like a Manic Monday because of all the shit I have had to do today.

First I had to attend an appointment for my housing. It is for my annual review to continue on getting subsides housing. My rent is going up starting in February because of my job but I am okay with that.

Something else I had to do in regards to my job is fill out paper work for Social Security. I also had to send them my pay stubs. I really dislike paper work but I rather fill out the paper work and send in pay stubs than owe Social Security money.

As much as I hate paperwork I am glad I got it done for both my housing and my social security. As far as my job is concerned I am looking for a new one as being on call for a night shift is not exactly best for me and my mental health. I plan on actively looking now and start applying in hopes I can start in the New Year.

I also went out in the crappy Seattle weather to go get my meds. I wish I didn’t have to get my meds on the weekly basis but I do. The weather in Seattle sucks today. It has been raining and extremely windy. I just wish it was normal Seattle yucky weather which is overcast, cold and drizzly.

I don’t have much else to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope to post again sometime tomorrow to tell you how my doctors and therapy appointments went. Peace Out, World!!!

More Monday Moodiness

Hello, World!!! It is still Monday in my part of the world. I am still dealing the Monday moodiness I wrote about in my last post. I am still dealing with depression, grief and isolation as well as other not so good emotions.

I have been doing things to help me through the rough emotions since my last post. My cat is now back sitting next to me on my chair. She is purring right now and the purring is helping calm me down.

I have also done some art work. I have done some painting. I am painting something for a friend of mine to give as gift to her as she has been of great support to me. I am not finished with the painting and she has no idea I am painting her something. I hope to be able to give it to her by Thanksgiving.

I have also been writing. I have been mainly writing poetry. Poetry that I hope to share with you my reader someday but not today. Writing poetry is quite helpful for me and I wrote a poem for my grandma in regards to dealing with my grandma’s death on Valentine’s Day of this year (2018).

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I hope to inform you how my doctors and therapy appointments go tomorrow. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Moodiness

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am realizing that I have been moody most of the day. I have been moody for many reasons. My depression is acting up. My grief dealing with my grandma hit me like a tsunami today. Oh yeah and that weather sucks shit.

It doesn’t help things that I have been isolating myself today. Not sure why I am isolating today but I have. I did email my therapist and primary care doctor about the depression, grief and isolation. Both my doctor and therapist reminded me of my appointments with them tomorrow which I know will be quite helpful for me. My therapist also informed that I do have refills for my psych meds as he talked with the “shrink on duty.” So, at least I know I have meds for the next two weeks.

My cat, Lil Gertie, has been of great help to me today. She has been laying by my side on my share or laying on my lap. She even let me hold her for about ten minutes as I paced around my apartment. She usually only lets me hold her for about two to three minutes max. She is an awesome emotional support animal. Right now she is taking some “me time” by sleeping on my bed. Everyone needs some space at times and she has done a very good job with supporting me today so she deserves the “me time.”

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Knowing that I have perfect strangers that care about me and that I am able to help by sharing my story helps me get through tough days like today. I hope everyone has a good rest of your Monday. Enjoy your week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!

6:30 am Monday Morning Madness

Good Monday, Morning To You, World!!! I should have written this post last night after I got home from the hospital but decided to wait till today to do so. I had a not so delightful time at the hospital as I waited to get evaluated for psych reasons. Thankfully, I was put into a hallway bed without needing to be restrained as the folks at this hospital know me well enough to know what to do when needed. And in my case a hallway bed without restraints is what I needed. Of course the doctors and nurses saw me however has I waited for the social worker to come see me another patient assaulted me. The hospital staff was in the middle of evaluating him when he got angry, left his room and grabbed my wrist and twisted hard enough to bruise my wrist and my hand. Thankfully, nothing is broken. He also gave me a black eye. Needless to say this person was put into restraints. The doctors had to come evaluate me once again before I could see the social worker because I needed to be medically cleared once again. I finally got home about 10:00 pm last night and would have been home sooner if I wasn’t assaulted by another patient.

Now that it is Monday morning let the madness begin. The madness started off with the fire alarm going off at 2:34 am due to a malfunction. Then it went off again at 3:33 am due to another malfunction. it went of a third time at 5:09 am due to an actual fire in someone’s apartment. Someone decided to start cooking and while cooking they decided to do some heroin. Not my idea of starting of any day much less a work week.

On that note, it is another foggy morning in Seattle. I don’t know why but I like foggy mornings. It gives me some sort of peace. It also gives me an excuse to stay in my pajamas longer as I read the news paper at a leisure pace while drinking my hot tea with milk and honey in it.

Since I don’t have work tonight, to my knowledge, I think I am going to take it easy today. My therapist doesn’t get back from vacation till this afternoon or at least that’s what his voicemail says. It says he will be in this afternoon which is good because I left him an email informing him of what happened yesterday at the hospital.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope everyone has a good work week and if you don’t work, I how you still have a good week. Happy Monday to all of you. Peace Out, World!!!!

Monday Morning Madness

Good Morning, World!!! As always there is always some madness to Monday mornings. Not sure why there always seems to be some morning madness to Mondays but there is. Today’s Monday morning madness it brought to you by last minute shit that needs to be done before I head to conference later on today.

For instance, I have some last minute packing I need to do. Stuff like my laptop other such stuff. For the most part I am mostly packed. I highly dislike packing which is why I do as much as I can as early as I can. I pack early because I am always fearful I might forget something.

As I pack the last of what need to, I am also getting ready for the day and other stuff I need to do. For example, I have therapy today. I have to emotionally prepare myself for therapy as it is hard and difficult work. Another thing I need to do I get wet (canned) cat food for my cat so my cat sitters can give Lil Gertie, my cat, a special treat while I will at the conference. Another last minute thing I have to do is get my meds. I most definitely need to get my meds or I won’t be able to function very well.

Well, I need to get going and get ready for a long day ahead. Thank you so much for reading my blog. I hope you have a great Monday. Have a great week ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

An Adulting Type of Day

Good Morning, World!!! I don’t know where to start so I guess, I will start at the beginning. I started off the day with going to the DSHS office and well it always sucks dealing with government agencies but thankfully everything was taken care of. Thankfully, I am getting some of my medical back and getting my food stamps back.

After dealing with DSHS, I had to make some phone calls. Phone calls regarding medical bills and one collection agency. I have been able to get charity care and/or make payment plans which is a burden off of my back.

I have also gone to the pharmacy to get my meds for the week. I am now getting my meds on the weekly basis per my psychiatric nurse practitioner. After having a suicide attempt a month ago with Tylenol she didn’t want to risk me overdosing on my meds. To tell you the truth I am more likely to stop my meds than to over dose on them. I am hoping that I will only have to do this for a month or two to prove myself again. I know she is only doing this for my protection. So, I got my meds and I take them as prescribed.

I have some household chores that I have been putting off that finally got done. Getting my household chores done is a great accomplishment.

Hell, doing everything I have done today by ten thirty in the morning in my corner of the world is a major accomplishment. I am very proud of myself for being able to do all this by ten thirty in the morning.

Now, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my day. I know I will be spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as she helps me with my emotions.  As I figure out what to do with the rest of my day, I want to thank you for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Monday and a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Well, It’s Monday!!!

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning in my corner of the world. I am not a big fan of Mondays but considering I have to take care of some shit today, I am kind of glad that it is Monday. Actually, I am not at all glad it is Monday but considering I have to do some adulting, I am glad to be able to get some things accomplished that I need to accomplish.

The first thing on my list is to go to the DSHS office as there was some type of error made in how much money I make which led to some of my DSHS benefits being cut off completely and/or reduced. My food stamps are being reduced to barely nothing and what little medical I was getting is being totally cut off which is why I am going to the DSHS office.

After getting home from the DSHS office I plan on calling a couple of hospitals asking why they sent my bills to collections when I was suppose to get charity care. That also means I have to call the ambulance companies as well regarding sending bills collections. This all means I have have to call the collections agencies as well. Not my idea of fun.  I might have to do some of the calling of places tomorrow which I am okay with just as long as I start the calling today.

I didn’t get much sleep last night due to health problems. Health problems that are related to my weird ass mouth infection that is causing me a great deal of pain. Pain tat kept me up a good portion of the night.

I really think that my physical health problems are starting to affect my mental health symptoms as the mental health symptoms are starting to increase. Usually when my physical health is acting up then my mental health can increase just slightly.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a good day. In fact have a good work week if you work. Peace Out, World!!!