Tag Archives: PTSD

Blogging + Wonder Woman = A Life Worth Living

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! So far today hasn’t been the easiest of days for me due to the assault I experienced yesterday evening. I am attempting to use my DBT Skills. One skill I am using right this moment is blogging. Another skill I have been using is reading. I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books.

For me both blogging and reading Wonder Woman comics for me is just two of many things in my life that make my life worth living. A life worth living looks differently to each individual. For me its blogging, Wonder Woman and many other things.

I want to thank you for reading. I am going to go and read more Wonder Woman. Peace Out, World!!!

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! The last six days has not been the easiest for me. First my grandma died and then last night a neighbor was being a jerk and physically attacked me. I naturally called the police and filed a police report as well as went to the hospital. Good thing is that I have now broken bones. Bad news is that my face is swollen and I have bruising on my arms and back.

The doctor gave me some strong pain meds. He and I discussed ways to reduce my pain without meds as I only asked him to prescribe only three. I informed him that I do daily mindfulness and meditation practice twice a day and that I tend to do extra practices when I am in pain and/or have high anxiety. The doctor was impressed that I have non-medicine ways to deal with pain.

As expected and not surprising my PTSD is acting up. It is acting up severely and is an opportunity to use my mindfulness skills. Skill that have been quite helpful for me.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Letter Format

Posted on by Gertie

Dear Abuser,

Normally this where I tell you hi and ask how you are doing however you don’t deserve that type of greeting. This the point in the greeting I tell you how I am doing. I’m angry.

Angry with the fact of the shit I had to endure at your hands and the hands of others. Others that had paid you for me. I am a person, not a commodity. Humans are not merchandise. We are to be respected and not sold.

I was only nine when you raped me for the first time. You ruined my childhood. Do you realize the shit I deal with on the daily basis because of you. The shit you did to me interferes with my sleep, eating, love life and other daily stuff people take for granted. You took that away from me.

You are an asshole and you don’t even deserve this acknowledgement.

Gertie

Tough Moment

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am having a tough moment. A moment that has been due to PTSD and Anxiety with some Depression. A moment that Junior is helping me through. A moment that mindfulness and meditation practice has helped me.

As I have a tough moment I realize that as rough it is right now, I am doing better than I was doing early in January. I think I am doing better than I was because I don’t want to go back to where I was when I first made a decision to be in active recovery. I want to be where I was when I was doing well and working fulltime as a Peer Support Specialist.

Thank you for reading as I think its time to settle in for the night. Have a goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!.

Friday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is seven fifteen  in morning in my corner of the world. I didn’t get much sleep last night because two of my neighbors were arguing last night. When they weren’t arguing they were pounding on each other’s doors and just making it miserable for the rest of us who live on my floor.

I personally think I would have gotten more sleep if I my neighbors weren’t being jerks to each other. In fact, my neighbors yelling at each other severely triggered my PTSD. Almost severely enough to where it nearly put me into crisis mode.

Thankfully, I was able to prevent crisis mode by using my DBT Skills. If it weren’t for my skills I don’t know what I would be doing. I put on my headphones and listened to music to drown out my neighbors screaming while I read. Both of these skills helped me most of the night and didn’t put me into crisis mode.

Another skill that helps me is reading the news paper while drinking some hot tea. Like every day, there was only bad news. Apparently, there is suppose to be a storm coming to Seattle. Not sure if it’s going to happen as it appears that anytime a storm is expected it never happens.

Thank you for reading. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Thursday Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As much as I am grieving, I have realized that the pain will take awhile to subside. As much as I want the pain to go away I have been doing a lot of things to distract myself from the pain.

The main thing I have been doing is reading. I have been reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am taking a while to read it but I am enjoying the book. I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books as well. Reading is helping me get out of my head so I don’t have to deal with the pain. The pain of loosing my grandma.

Another thing that has been helpful is the support I am getting from my friends. Friends that have been quite helpful many times especially the last year. In times of loss you realize who your true friends are.

Thank you for reading. Have great night everyone and Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Posted on by Gertie

Things I’ve Learned in My Recovery…

  • I’m resilient.
  • I’m stronger than I think I am.
  • There will be bumps in the road.
  • Its okay to do self care.
  • I don’t have to be perfect.
  • When life gives you lemons eat them (or make lemonade), just don’t throw them.
  • Life is worth living even when its painful.
  • The pain won’t last even though it feels like it.
  • Its okay to hit a pillow or stuffed animal but not a brick wall.
  • Giving up is not an option.
  • Recovery is more fun.
  • I always have a choice.

Ugh!!! Frustration & Other Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It’s been a frustrating morning. I went to the social security office today and have to go back tomorrow. It’s difficult enough to go when you don’t have an anxiety disorder and/or PTSD but add one or both conditions it makes it that much more difficult.

As difficult as social security is for me to go to and to deal with them, dealing with the grief of my grandma being in hospice care is that much more difficult. Knowing my grandma is going to pass away sooner than later is painful and I don’t want that to happen yet I know it is a part of life. Death is painful to deal with yet when you are aware of someone about to pass away you tend to appreciate the person more as well as life in general.

Being more appreciative of my grandma now is a good thing and not taking her life for granted, I’m going to be visiting her. I’ll be taking some art supplies with me as well as music and books to keep me busy when my grandma sleeps. The art stuff I’ll be taking is collaging and coloring supplies as its the easy to travel with on the city bus and less messy for my grandparents home.

I should get going so I can go visit my grandma. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World

Still Can’t Get Back To Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning (again), World!!! I am still up from waking up from a shitty ass nightmare. A nightmare that is still haunting me three and half hours later.

Something I’ve been doing the last three and half hours is art. I have been painting as well as collaging. I love doing both. I have been collaging some poems and am loving combining poetry and art together.

I think what I a going to do after I am done blogging is read. Not sure if I am going to be reading a book, text book or comic book but I think I’ll most likely going to be reading a Wonder Woman comic book. Wonder Woman is my favorite comic book character.

I think I am going to get going and read some Wonder Woman. Have a wonderful morning. Peace Out, World!!!

12 Midnight (exactly), Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I was able to fall asleep since my last post but unfortunately I woke up from a stupid ass nightmare. A nightmare about what I told Gilbert in our session today.

Trauma sucks shit and wish I didn’t have to deal with however I do. Something that helps me express my emotions what I am unable to process them is art. I am going to be painting and collaging as I listen to music. Music speaks when words fail.

Have a great night and peace out, world!!!