Tag Archives: PTSD

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening and time to do my weekly check-in. Or at least I am starting my weekly check-in back up with you the reader. Before I do my check-in I want to say Blessed Yule and Happy Solstice. Today is the first day of winter and the shortest day of the year. I am looking forward to tomorrow as it starts being lighter longer. Granted only by a minute or two but I am so looking forward to more light.

This past week has not been the easiest of weeks for me. My depression and Complex-PTSD (C-PTSD) have been acting up so badly that I have been dissociating and isolating. Neither which are good for me or anyone for that matter. To add to the depression and PTSD, I am dealing with grief of my mom’s death on Tuesday, November 26th which was two days before Thanksgiving. Sadly, Christmas Day of this year is one day before the one month mark of my mom’s death. I miss her so very much.

Since I have been isolating this past week, I have been hanging out at home with my beloved senior kitty, Billie. Billie has been helping me so much with dissociation and not doing it. I am so grateful for my cat as he has a calming affect on me and helps me keep my head on straight.

Despite being in a dissociated state for most of the week, I do remember watching a lot of movies. Specifically, I have been watching a lot of Christmas and holiday related movies. I watch Christmas movies that are nostalgic to me and many other people in the world.

Besides watching Christmas and holiday related movies, I have been reading. I specifically have been reading a Christmas book. In fact, I read a Christmas book every holiday season. It is a holiday tradition for me and I really look forward to it every year.

I do not have anything else to check-in or write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Romantic Saturday With My Partner

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I started off the day with my partner showing up to my place to make me a romantic holiday season breakfast. It was the perfect start for a yucky weather day here in Seattle. A type of day that is meant to stay inside all day which my partner, Junior and I have done all day and the weather hasn’t really improved.

After cleaning up after a wonderful holiday season breakfast, my cat Billie joined us for a day of movies. At some point during one of the movies, my cat, Billie decided to go and lay on his cat tree as he looked out the window and Junior and I had some very amazing sex. Junior was gentle as always due to my PTSD and thankfully we didn’t need to stop due to my PTSD.

After Junior and I were done making love we decided to watch some holiday movies that we both love watching. In fact many of the movies we watched were movies we enjoyed watching as children. We reminisced about the movies and how they are nostalgic. Of course, my cat, Billie joined us watching holiday movies once he was done watching the trees blow as it rained outside the window.

As I write this particular blog post, Junior is making the both of some dinner. It smells extremely good and it is making my mouth water. I love Juniors cooking and I wish I could cook as well as he does. I am so grateful to have Junior as my partner. He treats me well and is patient with me which is something that I am extremely appreciative of.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Being Sleepless In Seattle Sucks Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in the morning here in Seattle. I am sadly unable to sleep due to insomnia and PTSD. It is more insomnia that is keeping me awake than PTSD which in a way I am grateful for as PTSD sucks.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been doing a diamond art/painting piece as I listen to holiday music. Specifically, I have been listening to Christmas music. The diamond art that I am currently working on is of a Buddha statue with the words “Let That Shit Go.” I chose this particular diamond art/painting as I finished my Christmas diamond art/painting and I figure that it is the end of the year and the New Year almost here that I need to focus on what shit I need to let go and what shit I need to work on. I hope that once I am finished with this particular diamond art/painting that I will put up somewhere in my apartment to where it will be a part of my meditation practice area. I am really enjoying doing diamond art/painting especially as I listen to music.

Another thing I have been doing is cuddling with my cat, Billie as I read a Christmas book. The book I am reading is called Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith. I am enjoying the book greatly. I am not quite a quarter of the way through the book and I hope I finish it by Christmas. If I’m not then that is okay with me. I really enjoy reading especially when I am cuddling with my cat, Billie.

I do not have anything else that I want to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Holiday Traditions

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I would like to inform you of my own personal holiday traditions as it was suggested to me to start my own early on in my mental health recovery. The reason why it was suggested to me is because of some of the unrealistic holiday traditions that were placed on me by my family. No disrespect to my family as I love them very much but creating my own holiday traditions have helped me cope with my family as well helped me cope with my PTSD and depression.

When it was suggested to me by my therapist at the time early on in my mental health recovery the only thing I could think of regarding traditions for myself was comic books. Specifically two comic books that focused on Christmas. In fact the comic books I am speaking of are Christmas with the Superhero’s volume one and two by DC comics.

Over the years I have added to my holiday traditions. I have included the typical traditions of watching movies and listening to music. I have also included with the help of friends of the Jewish faith of spending a night or two or three celebrating Hanukkah with my friends who celebrate it. I am grateful that I can help celebrate Hanukkah with my friends who celebrate it. Besides watching holiday movies, listening to holiday music and spending two or three nights celebrating Hanukkah, I have included the following traditions to my list: reading holiday focused books, doing holiday or wintery focused jigsaw puzzles, doing holiday focused logic puzzles, doing Christmas dot to dot, and doing artwork focused on holidays or wintery scenes which includes coloring and diamond art/painting.

Now that I informed you of what I do for my own holiday traditions, it is challenging to know how my family traditions will change this year and next year due to my mom passing away two days before Thanksgiving. I say this year and next year as this year it is so fresh. I know I will keep some of the Christmas traditions my mom instilled upon me. As far as my dad’s side of the family they will still celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve as one of my uncle’s birthday is on Christmas and celebrate his birthday on Christmas.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out and Happy Holidays, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in Seattle. Actually it is a few minutes past three o’clock in the morning Seattle time. I am unable to sleep for multiple reasons which include insomnia, PTSD and grieving the recent loss of my mom. Hell, it hasn’t even been two weeks since my mom’s death. I really miss my mom and wish she was still alive.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been doing some things to help me with the grief, PTSD and insomnia. The things I have been doing is reading a book called Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith, listening to music, working on diamond art/painting, and cuddling with my cat, Billie. I love the fact that I can get some cuddle time with my cat especially when I am reading in bed. I am grateful that I can listen to music as I do any type of art including diamond art/painting.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

My First Finished Diamond Art/Painting

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I just wanted to update you all about me doing Diamond Art/Painting. I am really enjoying myself doing Diamond Art/Painting. I am thankful to and grateful for my neighbor who introduced me to Diamond Art/Painting because it has really helped me deal with PTSD as well as insomnia on nights I was not able to sleep. Hell, I really enjoy it. It also keeps me busy when I am unable to sleep as well as when the Seattle weather is really yucky even for Seattle standards. In this particular post I will show you a picture of my first finished Diamond Art/Painting. I will show you my second finished Diamond Art/Painting in the next day or two. Here is my first finished Diamond Art/Painting:

My first finished diamond art/painting. It is of a cat with a butterfly on its nose. The cat and butterfly are rainbow colored.

I really hope you like my diamond art/painting. I did add a caption to the picture for my readers who are site impaired or blind. I really enjoy doing the Diamond Art/Painting and I hope to show you the second diamond art/painting that I finished in the next day or two.

I don’t have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with a good friend
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean apartment
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat Billie throughout the day

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Breakfast with my partner, Junior (after he gets off work)
  • Call grandpa to thank him for his military service
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • In person appointment with my therapist
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Dinner w/my partner, Junior and our friends
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • In person appointment with employment specialist
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Take and return calls for Alley Cat Project
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Dinner w/a good friend
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • U-District Farmers Market w/my partner, Junior and one of my good friends and her partner
  • Lunch w/my partner, Junior and one of my good friends w/her partner at Red Robin
  • Art (color and/or diamond painting)
  • Read
  • Cuddle w/my cat, Billie throughout the day

A Brief Life Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a little over a month since I last blogged. I haven’t blogged for various reasons and the main reason is because my PTSD symptoms have been challenging to deal with. Despite dealing with challenging PTSD symptoms, I could have at least written a one or two paragraph blog post.

One of the ways I have been coping with the increase of PTSD symptoms is doing various forms of art. I have been doing my normal form of art which is coloring. I have also been doing some rock painting but sadly, I need more rocks and paint so that is on hold for now. The type of art that I have been focusing on is diamond art also known as diamond painting. I had bought me a lot of diamond painting/art when I was working and realized now that I am not working and haven’t worked for nine months that I now have time to do them. I am working on my first one and I am enjoying it so far. I hope to post pictures in an upcoming post.

I do not have much more to write in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This is not going to be a long weekly check-in as I am not up for writing much at the moment. This has been an up and down week for me and the current weather here in Seattle is not helping my mood much.

I saw my therapist this past week and we discussed how challenging it is to have some intimate moments with my partner, Junior due to PTSD. My therapist gave me some positive feedback regarding intimate moments with Junior and that he loves and respects me to stop intimate moments when I end up in freeze mode due to PTSD. I am so grateful for an awesome therapist and the love of a partner who helps me deal with PTSD. I am hoping that my therapist gets approval from her supervisor to be able to have Junior in one of my sessions with her.

As depressing as the weather has been here in Seattle today and yesterday I am so happy that my cat Billie has been helping with the PTSD and depression. I love my cat so much and I don’t understand why he loves me unconditionally.

I am done with this particular blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Posted on by Gertie
Daily writing prompt
How are you feeling right now?
View all responses

Right now I am feeling anger, fear and some anxiety. The reason for these emotions is due to some PTSD symptoms. I am not a big fan of these emotions especially due to stupid PTSD symptoms. I just wish that PTSD would not interfere with my life and my emotions. I also have a difficult time expressing anger, fear and anxiety especially anger. I was not allowed to express most emotions growing up especially anger. Now, I am slowly learning how to express my emotions in an appropriate way for society.