Tag Archives: Volunteering

Anxiety Over Something I’m Looking Forward To

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am high anxiety right now. In less than forty-five minutes from now, I will be starting to volunteer at the animal shelter, I adopted, Lil Gertie from. I will be volunteering with the cats and am excited about it. I am also extremely nervous about it. I am not sure why I am anxious about it especially since I have looking forward to it. I hope I am able to meet their expectations of me and exceed them. But then again that is the perfectionism in me. Wish me luck as I start this new adventure.

I wish I could write more but I need to finish getting ready and most likely would repeat myself. I want to e thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

An Anxiety Type Post Dealing with Cats and Volunteering

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It just barely after nine in the evening in my corner of the world. I am anxious about tomorrow. I am anxious because I am going to have my first shift at the animal shelter I adopted Lil Gertie from. It is going to be bittersweet as it will bring up some grief and sadness but also be a blessing for me as it will remind me of the love I received from Lil Gertie. Plus the animal shelter I adopted my precious cat, Lil Gertie, has indeed become like family to me. I was encouraged to apply a number of times but when Lil Gertie received the dread diagnosis of cancer, I knew it was time to apply and I actually followed through with it even though I was in the midst of going to info sessions and trainings, Lil Gertie crossed over the rainbow bridge.

I think the family I received just adopting Lil Gertie is growing a little stronger and becoming larger now that I am going to be volunteering. I will be meeting new friend which means they will become family or at least that is what I have experienced with other volunteer gigs and the same thing at all my paid jobs. I never knew how much support I would get or how my support system would grow when I adopted, Lil Gertie. The adoption of my cat, Lil Gertie is has been proven helpful for me with growing some great support from people I would have never encountered in any other way. If I didn’t adopt Lil Gertie, I wouldn’t be making new friends and have them become family to me.

So starting to volunteer at the animal shelter I adopted Lil Gertie as is a way to not just honor her and her memory but a way for her to still be with me in spirit. I am anxious about it but I know she would want me to do this. I am hoping this will help with my grief as well.

I do not have much more to say because it feels like I am starting to repeat myself. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome week ahead of the. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

SUNDAY

  • Get off work
  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Take nap
  • Lunch with friends
  • Do a workbook focused on recovery
  • Take a walk

MONDAY

  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Community Meeting for apartment building
  • Group Therapy; Dungeons and Dragons (D and D) Yes it is a group I go to.
  • Work on a workbook focused on recovery
  • Walk with friends
  • Dinner with neighbors

TUESDAY

  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Walk alone
  • Breakfast with a friend
  • Work on a recovery focused workbook
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City (I get to help people find the right kitty for them)
  • Dinner with a Friend

WEDNESDAY

  • DSHS office
  • Grocery shopping
  • Make lunch for friends
  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Do a recovery focused workbook

THURSDAY

  • Breakfast with friends
  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • DBT Group (Group Therapy)

FRIDAY

  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Do recovery focused workbooks
  • Cook dinner with friends.
  • Read and watch movies all night to help me sleep during the day on Saturday

SATURDAY

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

 

 

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As I stated in a previous post, I am restarting to do my weekly check-ins with you all every Saturday evening. This is help keep you my reader engaged and not bored with my blog. Not only is it my hope to keep you engaged with my blog, it is also my hope for my blog to help me. When I first started my blog I never expected it to be of help for me personally however I quickly realize it was helpful for me.

Well, as many of you know we all celebrated the New Year on Tuesday night. I really didn’t do anything but be in my jammies and watched the New Year come in on the television. I was hoping to bring it in with my cat Lil Gertie but sadly she crossed over the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day evening.

Another thing I did this week was finished up my training to become a volunteer at the animal shelter where I adopted Lil Gertie at. My first shift is this coming Tuesday on the 7th of January. It is something I am looking forward to.

Something else I did this week and was happy inform him of my new volunteer gig was see my new therapist. It was only my third session with him but he appears to be cool. He was happy to hear about my new volunteer job. We discussed a great deal He also was interested in my job as well.

Speaking of jobs, I will be going work in the next half an hour. I enjoy my job for the most part. I just do not like the fact that it is at night. Night shifts aren’t the best for someone with sleep issues. Having insomnia sucks and a night shift doesn’t help much.

Speaking of sleep, I slept okay today. My sleep could have been more restful but at least I got sleep. I just don’t like sleeping during the day.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Goals for 2020

Posted on by Gertie

Happy New Years, World!!! This is the time of year where many people make resolutions for the New Year. I, however don’t make resolutions. I make goals. I make goals as I tend to keep them as well as they can be made at anytime of the year. I just wanted to share with you my goals for the upcoming year. It is my hope to be held accountable to you my reader by posting my goals with you fine folks.

~Attend appointments with mental health treatment team as well as groups on the regular basis. (I already do this however when things get bad I tend to isolate and avoid life like the plague. No, I am not expecting things to start going bad with my mental health symptoms.)

~Blog an average of three times a week. (I have found since I started blogging that it is quite helpful for me. I hope that blogging an average of three times a week will help you my reader stay engaged.)

~Read six books. (Last year it was my goal to read twelve books and I only read one. So I am making the goal a little more reachable.)

~Start and complete two recovery focused workbooks. (It is my hope that starting and completing two workbooks will help me with my recovery.)

~Get a job that is not night shift. (I have realized that working night shift is not for me especially since I have insomnia and need a regular sleep schedule.)

~Start volunteering with cats at a local animal shelter. (Hell, I have already started this process and my first shift is January 7th. In fact it will be where I adopted Lil Gertie and am looking forward to it.)

I have a few more goals but they are a little bit more private. I hope that you all can hold me accountable to the goals I mentioned above. You guys are all amazing and awesome.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years. Happy New Years, World!!!

Words to the Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I didn’t do much of anything for a good portion of the day. I did go in for a meeting with the supervisor for the peer run help line I volunteer for. They wanted to “check in” with me because they got information from the crisis line that I had been calling frequently as well as the peer run help line I volunteer on. They said “it sound a lot like you.” I informed this person it was not me and asked him seriously, “why would I call the crisis line or this line when I have a distinctive and unique voice?” He replied “I don’t know why you would.” I informed him that I did not call the crisis line the peer run help line however I did call the after hours crisis team of the agency I am a client of on Valentines Day due to the anniversary of my grandma’s death. I went to show him my phone to prove to him I didn’t and I offered to sign an ROI for him to talk to my therapist. He declined both and said “I am at a loss of what to day.” More or less I validated him that he was in a tough spot no knowing who to believe. So, he is “cautiously” letting me back to volunteering on the help line for a handful of reasons. I guess, I am bothered that he thinks that I have been calling both lines but I understand him wanting to “check in” to make sure I was doing well. I just can’t get out of my head that I am being told that I am call helps lines when I am not but this is something I need to stop ruminating over as I was told I could go back to volunteering.

When I got home from my meeting I decided to paint. I decided to paint due to the mixture of emotions I was dealing with in regards to the meeting. It helped me get the emotion out that needed to get out. It helped me realize that I needed to find the words for my emotions.

That is when I decided to journal. Granted, I am still trying to find the right words to put to my emotions but journaling did help. In fact it helped a great deal just like the painting did.

I do not have much more to say except I am grateful that the supervisor is letting me back to volunteer. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening and night. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression With Humor

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have been up for several hours now and could really use a nap. The problem with taking a nap is if I do take one, I won’t be able to get up in time to go to my volunteer job and will not be able to sleep tonight. The sad thing is I woke up in a very depressive state. A depressive state that is quite concerning for me however if I am able to get through the next few days it is my hope that the depression symptoms with start to subside. I am pretty sure that the grief I am dealing with in regards to the loss of my grandma on Valentines Day of this year (2018) could have a lot to do with the increased symptoms of my depression.

Since I have been fighting off depression and grief I decided to watch the Netflix special that Ellen DeGeneres did and is so happened the show they made into a special was here in Seattle. I wish I was able to attend it in person however I was unable to do so. I am just thrilled that I was able to watch it earlier today on Netflix to help with my mood. Ellen is quite funny and I personally think she is relatable to people or at least she is to me. After watching Ellen’s Netflix special, it was quite helpful in lifting my spirits and not making the decision to call out “sick” for my volunteer job this evening.

Not only did watching the Ellen special on Netflix help me make a good choice to go to my volunteer job tonight but helped to blog about how I am feeling about shit. Shit like the depression and grief I am dealing with at the moment. Blogging seems to help and hope that sharing my story help you my reader some how. Blogging is a great outlet for me just like watching comedy is.

I don’t have much else to say at the moment. So, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Still Fighting Off Fucking Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, again, World!!! I am still fighting off fucking depression however it is slowing going away with the things I have done so far. I hung out with a friend. We went to Red Robin and had a late lunch, early dinner. We then walked around the mall and ended up getting pictures with Santa Claus. Getting a picture together with Santa was fun.

Even though the holidays bring more depression my way, I am glad I am coming up with new ways to fight off the depression and to start new traditions. My friend and I are going to do the Santa picture every year from now on.

I am now at my volunteer job waiting for five o’clock to come around as that is when my shift start. I only have about fifteen more minutes till my shift starts which is okay with me. I love my volunteer job. I have been at this volunteer job for four years now. It has helped me a great deal with my life and mental health.

Granted my depression is still acting up at the moment but I am glad I have decided to not isolate. Isolation is a persons worst enemy when they have depression. Fighting isolation and depression sucks shit but I am currently doing it at the moment.

I am just realizing this is my third post today. I have not posted multiple times in a day in a very long time. I am grateful that I am utilizing this great coping skill for me. I hope that me blogging helps you my reader.

I do not have much else to say. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday afternoon and evening. Thank you so very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of this. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression & Feeling Horrible About Lying

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I was asked if I could work tomorrow night and I said no due to having the flu. Yes, I know that was a lie but, I haven’t been feeling all that well and feel like I am coming down with a cold. In all honesty I don’t feel like working for the individual that wants me to work for them tomorrow because it always appears that I am working for that particular person. So, I told this person a lied saying I have the flu even though I don’t.

I really feel bad for lying to this individual about having the flu but since I feel like I am coming down with the cold and I see my doctor on Tuesday, I can get a doctors not as a precaution. I know lying is bad and it make me feel horrible about myself and it is something I rarely do. I just don’t want to work for this person as they always seem to be the one who needs someone to work for them.

On the plus side this whole ordeal is making me realize even more than usual that this job is not the best fit for me due to the fact that it is an on call position for a graveyard shift. If I had a more regular shift even for a graveyard shift I think I could do the job but since it is an on call position it is difficult for me due to sleep issues that I already have.

Because of this realization I am working on my resume and cover letter to apply to other jobs. Jobs that I will be interested in even if they are not Peer Specialist positions. Most anything with a study schedule in a field that is in the social service field I am cool with.

Even though I am working on job stuff, I have come to realize that my depression has increased a little bit today. Enough to where I don’t want to go to my volunteer job. Even though my depression is acting up I will be going to my volunteer job this evening. Getting out and doing something for others is always helpful for me even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

I might be fighting off depression but at least I am attempting to not isolate by spending time with a friend before I go to my volunteer job as well as going to my volunteer job. My friend and I are going to go have a late lunch early dinner at our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Eating at Red Robin with friends is always a good time and helps a good portion of the time.

I do not have much else to say in this post. I do feel really bad about lying to my colleague about having the flu so I don’t have to work tomorrow and hope that I am able to work through lying to them. Other than that I don’t have much else to say. I hope everyone has a good rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

More Tuesday Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, once again, World!!! As I mentioned to you in my last two post I slept most of the day due to being in the hospital most of the night last night. Well, I am still quite sleepy and might go to be early. It is only 8:45 in the evening in my corner of the world. So after I am done posting this post I might call it a night.

As many tomorrow is Wednesday and I have a busy day. My day will start with me going to a phone bank to volunteer. Yes, I said phone bank. What I am going to be doing at the phone bank is calling people to remind people to vote. Specifically, asking individuals to vote for certain politicians. Yes, I am volunteering for a particular political party which I won’t disclose due to not wanting to start a political battle on my blog. I just feel like this years mid term elections are extremely import this year. More so than any other mid term election.

After I am done volunteering at the political phone bank I am going to my local mental health agency to not only see my therapist but attend a communications group. I would have saw my therapist today but I slept most of the day due to being in the emergency room all night last night and needed the sleep. Since I am going to be going to see my therapist tomorrow I might as well as attend a new group on healthy communication. I figure that I can always learn something new about communication as I don’t communicate very well at times. So, I’ll be seeing my therapist and attending group therapy.

After attending group and seeing my therapist I will be going out to dinner with some from friends. We are not sure where we are going yet. We just know we are not going to Red Robin even though I would prefer to go to Red Robin.  All I know is I am looking forward to spending time with friends while enjoying some good food.

After a semi early dinner with friends, I will be going to a work training tomorrow evening. I am looking forward to the training as the training is something I haven’t really learned about in previous work training’s at previous employers. The one thing I need to do is look at my work email tomorrow morning so I am all caught up on work related stuff. I am looking forward to the training.

Now that I have informed you on what I am going to do tomorrow, Wednesday, I want to kindly remind you of something which I have already done recently. That reminder is that I have advertisements on my blog. I have those advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money even if it is a few extra cents. Every times someone clicks an advertisement (and lets it fully load), I can earn as little as a few cents or as much as a couple of dollars. I know it doesn’t sound like much but each penny counts.  It will help buy gift for family and friends for the upcoming holiday season despite what holiday they celebrate. So please do this blogger a good thing so I can give gifts to those who love and care about me. It would mean a great deal to me if you are able to click on an ad once or twice a week if not more.

Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that I have people who read my blog. You all mean the world to me. So thank you for reading my blog again. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!