Wishing the Depression Would Disappear

Hello, World!!! It is late Friday evening, In fact it is almost on eleven at night on Friday. I went to work today and that went fine and dandy despite the depression and anxiety would go away. I love my job and am grateful for it. I just wish Depression and Anxiety wouldn’t get in the way of my job but at least I am still able to work and do an okay job at it. Of course when I got home from work Billie Dean greeted me at the door which helped with the depression and anxiety

When I got home I spent time doing some art while listening to music. Specifically the type of art work I was doing was coloring. I was doing some coloring of some morbid coloring books while listening to YungBlud and Nirvana. I love doing art while listening to music. As I was coloring and listening to music, Billie of course was trying to “help” me do my art work by coloring.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to start back to Everyday Inspiration course tomorrow (Saturday). I really want to finish the course. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

A Brief Post About Nothing

Good Evening, World!!! I didn’t post my Everyday Inspiration today because, my depression and anxiety were so bad that I needed to call out to work due being sick. Well maybe really depressed and anxiety ridden. I’ve been sleeping most of the day. I feel bad because, I was ignored my poor Billie Dean all night as well as today due to sleeping the most of the day. I hope you all can forgive me. I will be back to do my Everyday Inspiration course on tomorrow (Friday ) and/or Saturday. Thank you for understanding.

I do not have much more to discuss in his particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciated that you the reader, read the blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 10: Let the Scene Write Itself

Right now I am working from home. I am sitting in a comfy chair in front of my work computer. Technically, it’s a laptop but you get the idea. I am looking at my schedule for the day. Nothing but meetings all day. Well, not all day; I am seeing two client virtually today.

Not only do I see my work laptop, I see my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is on his cat tree looking out my living room window. I’m not sure if he is seeing a bird or two or even a squirrel but Billie is looking intently at something outside.

Another thing I see is the wall in front of me. It has pictures. Pictures of my beloved family. A family that may be dysfunctional but at least I know my family loves me. I know they love me even when we don’t get along. I love my family.

Depression & Anxiety Suck Sh*t

Hello, World!!! It is another Sunday afternoon here in Seattle. Thankfully, it is a Sunday of a three day weekend because tomorrow (Monday) is Presidents Day here in the United States. Not sure why we have a Presidents Day but I’m grateful that I don’t have to work and get paid for doing nothing. I would rather be working tomorrow but I have the day off.

Part of the reason why I want to work because both my depression and anxiety are acting up at the moment. I wish they were not acting up especially at the same time which sucks sh*t.

In fact volunteering at PAWS Cat City this morning helped both the depression and anxiety. I love volunteering and being able to help cats find their furrever home. Today, we only had three cats. One was on hold, one isn’t ready for adoption and the other is adoptable and not on hold. Lets hope the two adoptable cats get adopted today.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful for both the anxiety and depression. He love getting attention no matter if my symptoms are acting up or not but he seeks it out more when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I am grateful that he knows when I need the attention from him when he ask for more attention than he usually wants which he loves.

I do not have anything else to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean my apartment with the help of my grandpa and uncle
  • Dinner with my grandpa and uncle

Monday

  • Sleep in as it’s a holiday in the States
  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Continue to clean apartment (this time without the help of family)
  • Dinner with some neighbors who have become good friends
  • Read a book (most likely my cat Billie will be on my lap when I do this)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Therapy
  • Work from the office from twelve o’clock in the afternoon to eight in the evening.
  • Arrive home and give my cat the much needed attention he want since I was at work all day

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Work from home
  • Take Billie to play with neighbors who I am having dinner with the neighbors I am good friends with.

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Work from home
  • Walk Billie around common area’s of the apartment build. (He is afraid of the outside even on a leach and harness.

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Work from the office
  • Arrive home and give Billie much needed attention since I was working in the office.
  • Read with Billie sleeping in my lap.

Saturday

  • Sleep in
  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk
  • Be lazy the entire day

Can’t Sleep & Slightly Depressed

Good Early Morning, World!!! It is a few minutes after two o’clock in the morning here is in Seattle. I am unable to sleep and I am slightly depressed most likely due to the lack of sleep tonight and last night. The lack of helps play into the increase of depression symptoms which sucks shit.

Billie Dean, my cat has been helping my depression a great deal. He has been by my side all day and night with couple of exceptions when he was eating, drinking water or using the litterbox. Having Billie not leave my side has been quite helpful to my depression

Another thing that has been helpful is doing some art work. In fact the type of art work I have been doing is coloring. As I have been coloring, I have going back and forth listening to a podcast on philosophy and music. Coloring while listening to a philosophy podcast or music has helped my depression decrease just like having my cat Billie by my side.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time in the evening where I do my weekly check-in. It has been an up and down week for me. Sunday I volunteered a Paws Cat City and had a great time volunteering like I always do.

Monday, I took off because it was Valentines Day which is really difficult for me because my grandma died four years ago and Valentines Day. I didn’t know if I was going to be a hot mess or not so I took the day off from work. Valentines Day landed on a day I work from twelve noon to eight o’clock in the evening. I did pretty good till about six o’clock when the grief hit me like Tsunami. Besides being hit my a Tsunami of grief at six o’clock in the evening, I had a pretty good day. I went on brunch “date” with my grandpa at IHOP. We had an awesome time eating great food and remembering the good times with my grandma before she passed away four years ago.

Despite spending some good times with my grandpa as we remembered my grandma, I had a of friend call me to check in on me. I really think the support my grandpa and I gave each other as well as the support my friends gave me really helped with the grief. Of course my cat Billie Dean helped a great deal with help with the grief of my grandma especially when I became a hot mess with tears rolling done my face for about an hour.

As for work goes it went well. I really love my job. My colleagues are beyond awesome. All three of peers support specialist including myself got some add work to do which I think is awesome as it will ultimately help the clients we serve. I really love my job and the freedom they give use peers and how the supervisors don’t micromanage us peers.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank your for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Three Weeks in a Row of Blogging Everyday

Good Afternoon, World!!!! According to WordPress, I have a twenty-one streak of blogging. That means, I’ve been writing everyday for the last three weeks. I say that has been pretty consistent like I have been aiming for.

Blogging more consistently has been has been quite helpful maintaining my self-care. Self care helps me keeps me on track with my mental health recovery. Of course, my cat Billie Dean, like to help me do the occasional blog post. Mainly because Billie wants the attention.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again, thank you again from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 6: The Space to Write

As far as a space to write depends on if I am working from home or from the office. When it comes to working from the office, it is easier to write notes. As far as writing notes for work when I work from my home, I do have a “work space” which I not only do appointments with clients virtually but have to write notes on my client and it seems to be working.

As far as writing space for blogging it depends on my mood, the weather and my work schedule. I usually blog from home in various places that is not my home work space. I also l like to take space to write outside when the weather is good. Preferably at parks that have some nature hiking trails in some of the Seattle Park system. I tend to do my best writing when I’m in “nature” even if it’s in the middle of the city.

Of course when I am writing in one of my favorite places at home when it is not work related, my cat Billie Dean loves to help me write. Billie even want to help me with my work notes but he seems to want to help with the non work stuff. I love the Billie tries to help me write. I love him so much.

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!