Tag Archives: Cats

The Post I’ve Been Dreading to Write

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have been dreading about writing this post for the last week as it is sad and devastating news or at least it is devastating for me. As many of you may know if you read a post a few months ago that my cat, Lil Gertie, was diagnosed with cancer. I knew there was a chance of helping her cross the rainbow bridge but I didn’t think it would be so soon. See, on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday, November 28th, 2019) evening Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge.

Like most everyone else across the United States I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. I went and spent the day with family. When I arrived back home Thanksgiving Day evening, I noticed Lil Gertie walking funny, with her head tilted and walking into things. I quickly realized I would need to take her to the emergency vet and most likely have to say goodbye. Before taking her to the emergency vet, I decided to feed her some turkey which she gobbled down and that made my heart happy.

The happy heart didn’t last very long as I knew what the reality was so I took her to the emergency vet. The emergency vet did in fact confirm that it was Lil Gertie’s time to cross the rainbow bridge. Sadly, while I was eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family Lil Gertie had a small stroke. Due to the stroke both of Lil Gertie’s retina’s detached which is why she was walking into things. Since she was unable to see, plus the stroke and cancer I knew I couldn’t bear to see Lil Gertie struggle, I knew it was time to let her go and cross the rainbow bridge. I was able to be with Lil Gertie as she crossed over with the help of the vet. I miss my cat so very much.

I did decide that I wanted Lil Gertie’s ashes and will be getting them in a couple of weeks along with a paw print and clump of her fur. The emergency vet also let Lil Gertie’s regular vet know. Lil Gertie’s vet reached out to me the past Monday (December 2nd) when she returned to the office after the holiday weekend. Lil Gertie’s vet was and is extremely empathetic and compassionate. She even sent me a sympathy card which I received yesterday (Tuesday) in the mail. Part of the reason I decided to keep Lil Gertie’s ashes as I know it will help with my healing process.

Speaking of the healing process I think that is why I waited so long to write this post. Yes, I realize tomorrow will mark a week since Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge but it just stung too much. Hell, it still stings like hell.

As people in my life have been finding out about Lil Gertie and many know she was an Emotional Support Animal (ESA), I have been asked if I am going to get another cat. The answer is, YES but I am going to wait till after the holidays for many reasons. One of which is I want to give myself some time to grieve. I wish I had more time with Lil Gertie because I only had her for 1 1/2 years and she was only 7 1/2 years old but I know she accomplished what she needed to accomplish here on earth and it was her time to go.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. I hope to post pictures of Lil Gertie in a later post. I hope everyone has a great day. I also hope you all have a great holiday season. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Sad & Trying to Not Overreact or Be a Drama Queen

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am having very uncomfortable emotions right now in regards to my cat. I am fearful, sad and pretty high anxiety right now. She is not acting like her usual self and not really eating her wet food but at least she is drinking water and nibbling at her dry food. She is also using the litter box. She is a little more lethargic the last two days and it starting to scare me because of lump that is cancerous. Plan is to watch her the next few days and take her to the vet on Tuesday even if she starts getting better because I just want to make sure everything is as okay as it can be health wise with a cancerous lump. I just don’t want put her down but I don’t want her to suffer either. I just love her so much. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Lil Gertie is a special cat for me. She is my emotional support animal (ESA). I thought I would be rescuing her but she did the rescuing of me. I love her so much and hope that she knows that. Lil Gertie was meant for me and I don’t want to loose her too soon but I don’t want her suffer

Like I told you I plan on taking her to my regular vet on Tuesday and get her opinion. Dr. B, the vet Lil Gertie goes to. Dr. B is an amazing vet and tells you like it is in an empathetic and compassionate way. Dr. B really care for the animals she treats as well as the humans. Dr. B is amazing.

I don’t know what else to write due to not wanting to crying. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging in Pain While Being Mindful

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here typing primarily with one hand and it is quite challenging. Long story short last Friday, (November 8th), I injured my hand and wrist. I tripped over my poor cat, Lil Gertie. Thankfully, my cat, Lil Gertie, is just fine and being her usual self. Sadly, I am the one who got injured but am beyond grateful that Lil Gertie was not injured. Like I mentioned at the beginning I injured my wrist and hand. I went to the Emergency Room (ER) and got it x-rayed and unfortunately it was too swollen to notice any type of broken bone or fracture. Both the resident and attending believe I could have some form of fracture which is why they put my wrist a supportive type thing I can take on and off but want me to keep it on till I am able to get it re-x-rayed which is going to happen this Friday (November 15th). If it is fractured I will get a cast if not I will continue wearing what I have and go to physical therapy. They put me on some pretty powerful pain meds. I am not taking them as often as my doctor would like because I fear of getting addicted but my doctor is grateful that I am taking them with the help of other things. For instance I am also taking over the counter (otc) meds like Tylenol and Ibuprofen as well as icing my wrist and doing some mindfulness and mediation. I may be in a pain but at least I am able to get through it.

As I mentioned one of the ways I am helping with the pain is doing some mindfulness and meditation. I am primarily using the Calm App to do this. I have found that the Calm App to be quite helpful. The primary narrator is Tamara Levitt. She has en extremely calming voice.  The Calm App is a free app and you can also subscribe to it annually to receive more mindfulness techniques which is something I have done. I really enjoy doing mindfulness meditation now. I have found it quite helpful for my recovery with my mental health challenges as well as with my health. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to take time out of your day to do mindfulness and/or meditation but it helps start the day off right as well as to end the day off right. I schedule to do it twice a day and try to make an effort to do it more than twice daily.

Something else I have been doing lately beside mindfulness meditation is art. The type of art I have specifically been doing is painting. I have been painting some abstracts that are looking pretty cool. It is something I can do with my good hand and wrist. Painting and other type of art help me a great deal with letting out emotions I am unable to speak which is essence helps me with my recovery.

I don’t have much else to say and am in physical pain so I will end this post. I hope everyone has a good rest of your day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. In fact I hope everyone has a great rest of their week. Peace Out, World!!!

Long Time No Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been quite some time since I last blogged. There is no particular reason why I haven’t blogged and I have no real or good excuse to why I haven’t blogged. I guess, I could say life has been getting in the way but part of my life does consist of the blogging community. In fact I have made friends from the blogging community and am grateful for that.

Anyway, I want to update you on my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie is doing well and acting like her typical self. She had a biopsy done to confirm the original test of cancer but sadly the biopsy didn’t confirm or deny cancer as all the samples the vet took were all inflamed. Lil Gertie’s vet, Dr. B said that inflammation is most likely the sign of infection so we put Lil Gertie on some antibiotics. Dr. B is “cautiously optimistic” with the biopsy results but also doesn’t want to give me “false hope” with the biopsy results and am grateful that she is upfront with such things and the cool part is she informs you in a compassionate way. I wish the biopsy results were not so frustrating and would have been more informative but at least I know that Dr. B can now do the surgery and not have to refer me to a different vet to do it. Even though I scheduled a surgery in January for Lil Gertie, I am not sure if surgery is the way I want to go as if the lump continues to grow, I want Lil Gertie to have a good quality of life and not suffer. As frustrating as the biopsy results are I am grateful that Dr. B is an upfront and compassionate vet who wants what is best for my cat. I will keep you updated on Lil Gertie as she is a major part of my life.

As far as what the rest of the day holds for me is to just lay low and really not do much. I will be doing some good self care. For today, self care looks like listening to several episodes of a podcast about philosophy as I do some art work as I have incense burn. The type of art work I will be doing is coloring and painting. I most likely do more coloring than painting as I am trying to finish up some coloring projects before the holidays as I am going to give them as gifts. I am also trying to finish up one painting for a friend of mine but that will only take about fifteen minutes plus drying time. I love both coloring and painting. Coloring and painting or any type of art is therapeutic for me and it is also educational for me because I tend to listen to podcast when doing some form of art. Usually the podcast I listen to gives me knowledge on topics I am not familiar with.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say with out blabbing on and on about the same thing. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. In fact I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Sad News About My Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I realize I haven’t blogged in a while. A great deal has happened since I last blogged. Mostly, I have been attending appointments and doing things for work. Nothing really major except when in comes to my cat, Lil Gertie.

Long story short I noticed a lump on my cats, Lil Gertie side. I took her to the vet and they did a test. It turns out that the test says she has cancer. Sadly, the test shows that Lil Gertie’s cancer is the type of cancer that if the lump is removed then it will most certainly grow back. The vet informed me that there is a slim chance the cancer could be another type of cancer but it is unlikely. She suggested I get a biopsy done on Lil Gertie to see how to proceed with treatment. If the results of biopsy confirm what the test say they type of cancer Lil Gertie has then treatment will be more the quality of life than trying to keeping her alive. The vet thinks Lil Gertie has six to twelve months before needing to put her down.  The vet is amazed that Lil Gertie is “doing so well” because she isn’t acting like she is sick. Lil Gertie, my cat, is acting like her usual self. She is eating, drinking, peeing and pooping normally which is a good sign for both me at the vet. Lil Gertie will have the biopsy in little over a week. I will keep you updated.

The good thing in all this is not only is Lil Gertie acting like her usual self and seeming like she has cancer but I have some major support from my friends. Friends who are amazing and loving. Friends making sure I do some good self care.

The self care I am doing is checking in with friends. I am also burning incense to help me out. I am reading, doing art, spending time with others and going about my normal everyday routine. Most importantly, the best self care is spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as I know my time is more limited than I thought and hoped it would be. I love my cat, Lil Gertie. I know Lil Gertie loves me unconditionally.

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A face only a parent could love. This is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love her facial expressions.

The above picture is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love the many facial expressions she has especially in the above picture. I am planning on printing out the picture above and framing it put it on my wall in my apartment.

I do not have much more to say as I am now in tears again. At least I know Lil Gertie is not suffering at the moment as she is acting like her normal self. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

First Day of Autumn

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Happy first day of autumn. Today, totally feels like an autumn day here in Seattle. Hell, it has been feeling like autumn for most of the month of September here in Seattle. In fact it is going to be one of those days I will stay home and cuddle with my cat especially since I have already done what I needed to do both work wise and errand wise.

Before I continue on what I am going to do for the rest of the day, I want to tell you about my one on one, supervision with my supervisor went. My supervisor and I had a supervision today. We discussed things going on at work. The best part of it was that he is “happy” with my notes and is “impressed” that I asked ways that I could communicate better with the young adults better. My supervisor informed me of various ways and he thinks I do a “pretty good job” with communicating overall.

Now on to what I am going to do on this very fall like weather on the first day of autumn. First and fore most I will be be spending some time with my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie is my pride on joy and am happy that I adopted her. In fact when I went to adopt a cat, Lil Gertie chose me and when she did, she rescued me. I didn’t really rescue her because I think she does more for me than I do for her. I love my cat, Lil Gertie so very much and it’s hard to think how my life would be different if I didn’t have my cat.

Since the day is a yucky autumn day I am going to stay inside for the reminder of the day. Besides spending it with my cat, I will be reading. I am reading How to Be an Antiracist. Yes, I am still reading because I put it down for about a week so I could focus on finishing up another book for a book club I am a part of. I love to read and am grateful that it is one of my go to things to do for relaxing as well as a DBT skill.

Another thing I will be doing today is art work. Specifically, I will be coloring. I am working on multiple coloring projects. I love to color. Coloring is another thing that is relaxing for me as well as DBT skill I go to a great deal. I hope to share with you with what I am coloring so you can see the progress. Coloring is also a mindfulness exercise for me.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead. Also, enjoy you first day of autumn. Peace Out, World!!!

The Cool Day of Friday the 13th w/a Full Moon

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday the 13th, World!!! It is Friday the 13th and we are going to have a full moon. I know it is a rarity but I don’t understand why people are so superstitious about it. It is just another day that happens to have moon that is full. I actually tend to have good luck on Friday the 13th but I really don’t put much stock into it being a particular day.

Overall, I am having an okay type of day. Some of my depression symptoms are acting up but not too badly which is a good thing. I haven’t exactly been isolating but I also haven’t been reaching out to people. I have been selectively engaging with some form of human contact. I am doing this just because I don’t want to deal with a lot of drama.

Since I don’t want to deal with drama or a lot of people, I have been spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I am loving the fact that she has been extra cuddly today. I think she knows I will be away for more than twelve hours tomorrow night due to work. Either that or she knows my depression symptoms are starting to increase. Whatever her reason, I am grateful for my cats, Lil Gertie’s, unconditional love as well as her being extra cuddly today.

Something I have been doing today is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason his show is soothing to me. I wish I could paint the way he paints but that doesn’t matter as just watching him paint as he explains his technique is soothing and a form of self care for me.

I think what I am going to do after blogging, eating dinner and watching the five o’clock news is to read the book “How to Be an Antiracist.” I am learning a great deal from this book and hope to share what I have learned once I am done with the book. Hell, I might tell you what I have learned so far in another blog post.

I do not have much more to say and will in this blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday the 13th as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the Seattle area. Our weather has been interesting the last week. Last Saturday we had a pretty major thunderstorm for our area which I really found pretty cool. In fact we been having some thunderstorms go through the Seattle area again tonight. Not as major or as long as last Saturday but still pretty cool. I think we have had three or four relatively small thunderstorms tonight. I enjoy thunderstorms most of the time. As far as tonight goes, I am enjoying them.

As soothing as thunderstorms are and I am wanting to discuss more soothing things, lets start on something slightly more difficult so we can end on a positive note. I was suppose to have Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Group and sadly it was cancelled. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it because I was wanting to share a couple of successes I had.

Thankfully, I was able to share my successes with my therapist as I had a therapy session. My therapist is pretty cool and understanding or that is my personal opinion. We also discussed some things that were somewhat difficult to discuss. Another thing we talked about personal goals. I had some difficulty with this because I feel like some of my goals have been put on the back burner and the blame is a hundred percent my fault on that. We talked about how some goals are put on the back burner to be able to focus on other things. It doesn’t been they won’t be put on the front burner again, it just means I needed to adjust some things in my life at the moment. Another thing we discussed was self care and what I have been doing to do good self care. I told him I am back to doing my two daily walks again or at least the ones I schedule. I informed him that I walk once in the morning and then again in the evening. We also discussed other forms of self care that are also inline to my goals which I found quite productive.

As far as self care goes, my cat, Lil Gertie, is a major part of it. Having Lil Gertie around to love as well as to take care of her is a major part of my daily self care. Her unconditional love reminds me to do good self care and is helping me to learn to love myself.

Learning to love myself is just one form of self care that I have made an effort to do along side of other things. Other things such as burning incense. In fact as I am writing this blog I have incense burning. For some reason it helps me calm down and it reduces my anxiety.

In fact my anxiety was really high earlier and one of the things I turned to was to watch a television show on Netflix. A show that helped me a great deal when I was a child and teenager. The show is The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason I find his show extremely soothing. Add his show with some incense and a thunderstorm is good self care for me. Of course the universe helped with the thunderstorm but Bob Ross and incense was my way of self care tonight.

In fact I think I am going to end this post so I back to watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have a good Friday the 13th. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Night Post

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! It is Friday night in my corner of the world. Friday nights I usually stay up all night so I can sleep all day on Saturdays. I sleep all day on Saturdays because I work a twelve hour shift on Saturday night. Working nights reeks havoc on my sleep even if I only do work one night a week and that sucks.

As far as my plans to stay up tonight is the obvious of spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I love spending time with my cat and being able to give her attention as well as play with her when she is more likely to let me do that stuff which at night. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I can not imagine my life with out her.

Besides spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie, I plan on reading the “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi. So far I have only read the introduction and chapter one. What I have read so far, I think I am going to like the book as well as learn a great deal. Something I want to do as a white person is to become a better ally for people of color. I will also be reading other books of similar nature. Specifically, about race and how I can be a better ally.

I, of course will be doing other things besides reading tonight and that stuff will be doing some form of art as I listen to a podcast. Not sure what type of podcast I will be listening to but the art I will most likely be doing tonight is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and listening to podcast.

Before I end this post I want to update you on my dads health as well as my health. My dad is now out of Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and on a regular medical floor. This happened today and am so grateful for his improvement. He wants to go home but has to stay in the hospital a few more days. As far as my health issues of a kidney infection and a urinary tract infection (uti); they seem to be getting better with the help of a very strong antibiotic. An antibiotic that is making me nauseous but thankfully I have an anti-nausea med to help with that.

I do not have anything else to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I still haven’t been back to bed since the fire alarm went of because someone burnt food. I am tired as hell and most likely will attempt to go back to sleep. My anxiety and PTSD symptoms have been acting up quite severely since the fire alarm went off. They are acting up so badly that it is affecting my ability to calm down enough to be able to sleep. The insomnia isn’t help much either.

The thing that is helping me at the moment is my cat, Lil Gertie. She has a calming effect on me and that is extremely helpful. My cat has been by my side most of the morning after the fire alarm went off. I am grateful she has been near by as it has been quite helpful for me to be able to calm down.

One of the things I have been doing since I was so rudely woke up is coloring. I have been coloring my coloring pages. One of which I have shared with you here on my blog. I am hoping that with my coloring pages that I am currently doing that they will be done by the holidays as I want to be able to give them as gifts to people.

When I started off coloring, I listened to music. I listened to Nirvana, MxPX and Tori Amos. For some reason listening to the above mentioned musicians was and is quite helpful to me. I find their music relaxing.

After listening to music and still coloring I decided to listen to a podcast about philosophy. Coloring while listening to a podcast about philosophy not only helps me focus on the topic but to retain the subject. I of course find the subject of philosophy quite interesting and am grateful to be able to listen to a podcast about it as I color.

I don’t have much else to say in this blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to be able to get some sleep today as well as go see my dad in the hospital. I did talk to him this morning already and seemed to be doing okay. I hope everyone has a great day ahead as well as a relaxing day ahead. Peace Out, World!!!