Tag Archives: Cats

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the Seattle area. Our weather has been interesting the last week. Last Saturday we had a pretty major thunderstorm for our area which I really found pretty cool. In fact we been having some thunderstorms go through the Seattle area again tonight. Not as major or as long as last Saturday but still pretty cool. I think we have had three or four relatively small thunderstorms tonight. I enjoy thunderstorms most of the time. As far as tonight goes, I am enjoying them.

As soothing as thunderstorms are and I am wanting to discuss more soothing things, lets start on something slightly more difficult so we can end on a positive note. I was suppose to have Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Group and sadly it was cancelled. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it because I was wanting to share a couple of successes I had.

Thankfully, I was able to share my successes with my therapist as I had a therapy session. My therapist is pretty cool and understanding or that is my personal opinion. We also discussed some things that were somewhat difficult to discuss. Another thing we talked about personal goals. I had some difficulty with this because I feel like some of my goals have been put on the back burner and the blame is a hundred percent my fault on that. We talked about how some goals are put on the back burner to be able to focus on other things. It doesn’t been they won’t be put on the front burner again, it just means I needed to adjust some things in my life at the moment. Another thing we discussed was self care and what I have been doing to do good self care. I told him I am back to doing my two daily walks again or at least the ones I schedule. I informed him that I walk once in the morning and then again in the evening. We also discussed other forms of self care that are also inline to my goals which I found quite productive.

As far as self care goes, my cat, Lil Gertie, is a major part of it. Having Lil Gertie around to love as well as to take care of her is a major part of my daily self care. Her unconditional love reminds me to do good self care and is helping me to learn to love myself.

Learning to love myself is just one form of self care that I have made an effort to do along side of other things. Other things such as burning incense. In fact as I am writing this blog I have incense burning. For some reason it helps me calm down and it reduces my anxiety.

In fact my anxiety was really high earlier and one of the things I turned to was to watch a television show on Netflix. A show that helped me a great deal when I was a child and teenager. The show is The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason I find his show extremely soothing. Add his show with some incense and a thunderstorm is good self care for me. Of course the universe helped with the thunderstorm but Bob Ross and incense was my way of self care tonight.

In fact I think I am going to end this post so I back to watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have a good Friday the 13th. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Night Post

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! It is Friday night in my corner of the world. Friday nights I usually stay up all night so I can sleep all day on Saturdays. I sleep all day on Saturdays because I work a twelve hour shift on Saturday night. Working nights reeks havoc on my sleep even if I only do work one night a week and that sucks.

As far as my plans to stay up tonight is the obvious of spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I love spending time with my cat and being able to give her attention as well as play with her when she is more likely to let me do that stuff which at night. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I can not imagine my life with out her.

Besides spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie, I plan on reading the “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi. So far I have only read the introduction and chapter one. What I have read so far, I think I am going to like the book as well as learn a great deal. Something I want to do as a white person is to become a better ally for people of color. I will also be reading other books of similar nature. Specifically, about race and how I can be a better ally.

I, of course will be doing other things besides reading tonight and that stuff will be doing some form of art as I listen to a podcast. Not sure what type of podcast I will be listening to but the art I will most likely be doing tonight is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and listening to podcast.

Before I end this post I want to update you on my dads health as well as my health. My dad is now out of Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and on a regular medical floor. This happened today and am so grateful for his improvement. He wants to go home but has to stay in the hospital a few more days. As far as my health issues of a kidney infection and a urinary tract infection (uti); they seem to be getting better with the help of a very strong antibiotic. An antibiotic that is making me nauseous but thankfully I have an anti-nausea med to help with that.

I do not have anything else to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I still haven’t been back to bed since the fire alarm went of because someone burnt food. I am tired as hell and most likely will attempt to go back to sleep. My anxiety and PTSD symptoms have been acting up quite severely since the fire alarm went off. They are acting up so badly that it is affecting my ability to calm down enough to be able to sleep. The insomnia isn’t help much either.

The thing that is helping me at the moment is my cat, Lil Gertie. She has a calming effect on me and that is extremely helpful. My cat has been by my side most of the morning after the fire alarm went off. I am grateful she has been near by as it has been quite helpful for me to be able to calm down.

One of the things I have been doing since I was so rudely woke up is coloring. I have been coloring my coloring pages. One of which I have shared with you here on my blog. I am hoping that with my coloring pages that I am currently doing that they will be done by the holidays as I want to be able to give them as gifts to people.

When I started off coloring, I listened to music. I listened to Nirvana, MxPX and Tori Amos. For some reason listening to the above mentioned musicians was and is quite helpful to me. I find their music relaxing.

After listening to music and still coloring I decided to listen to a podcast about philosophy. Coloring while listening to a podcast about philosophy not only helps me focus on the topic but to retain the subject. I of course find the subject of philosophy quite interesting and am grateful to be able to listen to a podcast about it as I color.

I don’t have much else to say in this blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to be able to get some sleep today as well as go see my dad in the hospital. I did talk to him this morning already and seemed to be doing okay. I hope everyone has a great day ahead as well as a relaxing day ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

A Rude Awaking

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I was almost fully asleep when the fire alarm in my apartment building went off once again. I thought it was another false alarm due it malfunctioning again but this time it was due to someone burning food in the wee hours of the morning. The person who set off the building fire alarm due to burnt food has done this multiple times and never opens his windows to let out the smoke. You would think he would learn especially since he is in a corner apartment. I am annoyed with the fact that it went off and woke up the entire building because someone couldn’t keep an eye on their food cooking.

When the fire alarm went off it triggered some anxiety as well as PTSD symptoms. I was in two fires when I was a kid so fire alarms trigger the hell out of me. When the fire alarm went off I quickly got my cat, Lil Gertie, and put her in her carrier and we exited the building. Sadly, many people didn’t exit because they thought it was another malfunction and burnt food but the folks who did evacuate were and are annoyed as hell like I am.

Being highly annoyed, full of anxiety and extremely triggered due to the fire alarm and in my apartment now, I have my music playing. I have my music playing to help me calm the fuck down. The fire alarm going is not conducive to having PTSD or Insomnia especially since I was finally almost asleep. Anyway, having my music on is helping.

Another thing that is helping is that my cat, Lil Gertie, is laying next to me in my chair. She is very calming and surprisingly chill after the fire alarm went off. Yes, she does get startled by the fire alarm and doesn’t fight me getting into her carrier. She appears to calm down once in the carrier because I think she knows she is going to be safe. I love my cat and how quickly she can chill out after the fire alarm goes off.

After I finish this blog post, I plan on continuing to listen to music as I do art work. Specifically, I plan on coloring as it appears to be a type of mindfulness for me. Coloring is very calming for me and am grateful to have it as a skill.

I think I am going to get going now. I plan on listening to music as I color and hopefully am able to get to sleep. I am tired as hell. Having the fire alarm go off when one is almost asleep is a rude awaking and just make one even more tired. But on that note, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety & Fear Over My Dad

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am not going to work tonight because my dad is in the hospital. Sadly, he was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), early this morning because he has fluid on the lungs and maybe around the heart. Even though the emergency surgery went well, the fluid around the lungs is never a good thing especially with my dads history of pneumonia. It was five years ago at this time of year where he was give a very slim chance of living due to his pneumonia but thankfully he is a live. I just wish his health was better at the moment. At least he is not on life support and wanting to go home.

Even though I am not sitting at the hospital with my dad at the moment, I just wanted to make sure that if health were to take the turn for the worst that I am able to have the availability to get to the hospital. That is part of the reason why I chose to get someone to cover my shift at work tonight. I am grateful that I was able to have a colleague cover my shift.

Due to my dad’s health and him being in the ICU my anxiety is up and my fear of him being put a ventilator is extremely high at the moment. The fear and anxiety I am having, my cat, Lil Gertie, is picking up on. When I have been home she as been by my side or on my chest to comfort me.  Being comforted by my cat has been a great help to me and has lessened my anxiety and fear.

Not only is my cat, Lil Gertie, comforting me but I am having friends checking in on me. Having friends checking in on me is always a good thing. In fact a friend of mine even brought me lunch when I was at the hospital visiting my dad. It is great that I have friends that check up on me.

My family has be pulling together in regards to my dad’s health. My grandpa and two uncles who are my dad’s dad and two brothers have been taking turns at the hospital. My grandpa and two uncles have been a great support. They are just as worried about my dad as I am. Having family support and the support of my friends has been great for me.

I wish I was able to get some sleep today but sadly I have not been able to nap. I didn’t sleep well last night due to insomnia and I think I have been unable to nap today due to my dad’s health and him being in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at the hospital. I think I am going to go to bed early tonight as I need some sleep. Sleep is crucial to one health and I don’t want to get sick especially since my dad is ill.

I do not much more to say. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Late Friday Night Post

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! It is 11:40 at night on a Friday and I am taking a brief break from doing some art work. Specifically, I am taking a break from coloring. I enjoy coloring immensely. Coloring is a type of mindfulness and meditation practice for me.

Part of the reason why I am taking a break from coloring at the moment is that I realize that I am hungry and am eating a snack. In fact, I am having an avocado with sour cream and a cheese quesadilla with sour cream. I know it is late to be eating but I am hungry and thought a snack would be a good idea especially since I am not tired and have a feeling I’ll be up late tonight.

My cat, Lil Gertie, is enjoying the fact that I am not in bed yet. She is enjoying it because she is getting plenty of attention and play time during a time she is typically is awake wondering around the apartment. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I am so grateful that I adopted her nearly a year and a half ago. It has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life.

As I was eating and writing this blog as well as coloring I have been listening a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, the philosophy podcast I am listening to is Philosophize This. I highly recommend it. I am learning so much about philosophy and even some about history with this particular podcast. I really enjoy the podcast Philosophize This because I am intrigued with what is being discussed.

I think I am going to continue to listen to it till I am caught up to the most recent episode but it will take a while to get caught up. As I listen to the philosophy podcast I will be coloring. As I have mentioned before coloring is form of mindfulness and meditation for me. It helps me get in a good mindset. I really love coloring and plan on giving what I colored to people who I care about as well as to people who have helped me in the past. I am hoping that the big poster that I am coloring to be able to give it to my therapist but it is a slow process at this point in time. Coloring is something I never out grew and never stopped doing. I use to get laughed at in junior high and high school because I colored and now adult coloring is the in thing to do. I am glad I never stopped coloring even though I was bullied for it.

I don’t have much else to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I really hope that everyone enjoys their weekend. For those in the United States, I hope you enjoy your three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Friday. My cat woke me up this morning my gently nudging my arm with her head. I knew that she wanted both attention and food with the gentle nudges. So, I of course gave her both. Lil Gertie was appreciative of both. Right now she is laying on my chest as I am writing this post on my laptop. Yes it is slightly challenging but I am grateful for Lil Gertie laying on my chest as it is helping me focus on my breath which is helping my anxiety.

I want to update you on my dad. He is doing as well as expected after having emergency surgery on Wednesday afternoon. He sadly is still in pain which is to be expected but I wish he wasn’t in pain. On a good note in regards to my dad is that he is using his sense of humor. My dad using his sense of humor is a good thing because it means he is doing better.

My friends and fellow peer counselors/specialist having been checking up on how I have been doing since I had to leave the peer conference early due to the fact my dad had emergency surgery. Having awesome friends checking up on how both myself and dad are doing is a great feeling. Knowing that I have friends checking up on me is just another reminder that people do care about me. I am grateful for my friends and that they check up on me.

Now lets discuss work. I am taking Saturday off because I wasn’t sure how serious the situation with my dad was going to be so I was able to get someone to cover my shift. I am grateful that I have amazing colleagues willing to step up to the plate when a family emergency arises.

Since I am now on the topic of work, I want to share with you something that I think is cool that happened at the peer conferences. On Tuesday, shortly after finding out about my dad, I was sitting in the hospitality room as part of my volunteer duties and starting talking with another peer. A peer who works for an agency I applied for a job at. To find out this peer advocated for this position and has been able to look at the resumes while her boss was out of the office on a honeymoon. This peer informed me that she is not apart of the interview or hiring process but will able to put some input in, in regards to the resumes she discusses with her supervisor. The cool thing about this is that this peer looked at my name tag and said she remembers seeing my resume and was “impressed” with it. She also said if it were up to her, that I would be on the “short list.” The best part about attending peer conferences or any other type of conferences in the mental health field is the networking. I am grateful that I was able to network with a lot of peers during this conference but I want to thank the universe for the interaction I had with the peer I just told you about because, there is a chance that I could at least get an interview. I hope to inform you more about what the job is all about in a later post but I think it will be a good fit for me. Especially since it is a part time position and that it involves working a drop in center which I have experience in. I think this could help my career if I get the job. This is one of the many reasons I love going to conferences is because of the networking.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend and for those who live in the United States I hope you have a great three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression & PTSD

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! At this moment in time I am struggling with the symptoms of both my Depression and PTSD. I am not sure why the symptoms of my PTSD and Depression are acting up but they are. I wish I was not struggling with Depression or PTSD at the moment or ever but sadly both are a part of my life.

Since I am dealing with Depression and PTSD symptoms I am doing a variety of things to help not make the symptoms get worse are at least that is my hope. Right now I have been focusing on getting things together for a peer conference I will be attending on August 27th and August 28th however I will be arriving August 26th as I will be volunteering once again at this particular conference. I have attended every except the first year. So that means, I have volunteered at the second and third year it occurred and now am volunteering at the fourth annual Peer Pathways Conference. I am preparing for the conference by making my travel plans and booking a spot on an Amtrak train. I love taking the train. Another thing I am taking care of is making sure my cat, Lil Gertie, will be taken care of. Thankfully, I have secured a reservation for an Amtrak train and have secured a cat sitter for my cat, Lil Gertie. So, I am looking forward to this conference as many of the seminars, happen to be training’s that will be helpful for my career as a Peer Counselor even though I am not currently employed as one at the moment. The best part of this conference is that it is totally free for me since I am volunteering. Well, the conference, food, and hotel stay are free but I have to pay for my own travel which is okay with me. I will be going to the Amtrak station tomorrow to purchase my train ticket for my travels to the conference in a week. When I am at the conference I will miss my cat, Lil Gertie a great deal but she will be in good hands.

Speaking of cats, Lil Gertie, has been a great help with dealing with the symptoms of both my PTSD and Depression. She has been extra snugly and cuddly today which is something I have been need all day. I love the way she just lays on my chest and purrs. Having, Lil Gertie pick up on the signs when I am struggling is great because she didn’t need any training to do so and I haven’t had her since a kitten which means when I adopted her last year, she was meant to be my emotional support cat.

Another thing I have been doing to help combat my PTSD and Depression is doing homework for the writing class I am taking. I am really enjoying the writing class as it is focusing on characters and later scenes and now it is not a play writing class. I am enjoying the fact that I am learning different types of characters and how they play a part in a story. Maybe I can share one of my homework assignments with you later on in the writing course I am taking.

Besides writing another creative way I have been trying to reduce my Depression and PTSD symptoms is art work. The genre of art I have been focusing on besides writing is coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me and plan on giving away the stuff I color away as gifts. I will be framing the finished coloring projects so people can put it on their walls. I love to color and have been coloring since I was a kid. I got made fun of as a teenager because I continued to color and now “adult coloring” is a thing and it is something I never stopped doing. Coloring relaxes me.

I don’t have much more to say because I would end up repeating myself and nobody wants that. I want to thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

Early Saturday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is five thirty eight in the morning on a Saturday and you are most likely thinking why I am up before the butt crack of dawn. I am up before the butt crack of dawn  because I work tonight, Saturday, a twelve and a half hour shift. Thankfully, it is only one shift a week even though I am still considered on call staff but have it slightly easier advantage than other on calls due to the fact is I am able to say no to taking other shifts than the two other new on calls due to having one regular shift a week. It was actually nice to know that I am now not the only on-call and that I have slightly more rights to say no to taking on shift due to the fact I work every Saturday. It is still preferred that I do take one on call shift once every two months. Specifically my boss wants me to focus on Saturdays and emergency call outs such as a family emergency, someone being sick and stuff like that. Of course every on-call is required do that however I might still be able to to be asked to cover someone’s shift if they are on vocation or “spontaneously moving” or taking a mental health day. I just don’t have to “feel obligated” to do so. I am liking the regular shift despite find out that I am still on-call but it looks good on the resume. I did apply for a peer position job that I think that would be a good fit for me and applied for it both Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I haven’t received a call back and I am not expecting one due not being employed as a peer for two years now and that I didn’t have a job for a year and half which is why I am still at my current job. It is easier to get your resume to be looked at my a human if you have work and/or volunteering. I do both which is a good. thing for the resume.

I have been awake all night due to the fact I have to work tonight (Saturday) and have to sleep during the day. I am not a big fan of sleeping during the day or working twelve and a half hour night shift but at least it is a job. So as my Saturday goes, I will be sleep most of the day. Sleep I could have done last night but I want to go to work well rest. Even if I wasn’t working tonight I don’t think I could have slept due to my stupid insomnia so lets hope I can sleep during the day and not have my insomnia involved.

I pretty much listened t music most of the night music that would be helpful since I decided to be creative tonight by doing various types of art. Mainly coloring and painting with limited collaging due to the lack of magazines and newspapers. I put on my grunge rock play list that has  some many various musicians that it would take too long to post who was all on my music playlist. My grunge music play list did help my with my creativity in regards to my art work. My coloring pages are coming out nicely despite it taking longer than expected. My painting slowly but surely becoming a picture that I am going to be happy with.

As far as my cat goes, she has been much appreciated that I have been up and awake during her waking hours. Lil Gertie, my cat sure likes the idea that I play with her more at night than during the day but she does play with me during the day. Lil Gertie is jut more active at night than during the day. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much I don’t know what life would be like without her. I hope she lives a long life as she is only seven years old.

I do not have much more to say as I am getting tired and most likely need to get to bed so I can sleep during the day on what is suppose to be a beautiful Saturday. I might not be able to enjoy the beautiful weather but I am okay with that as I work an over night shift at a homeless shelter. I am grateful for my job and really need to go so I can get some sleep. Lets hope my insomnia doesn’t continue or I will be cranky bucket at work. I would like to thank you for the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday and awesome weekend. You my readers a blessing to me and greatly appreciate each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Attempting to Go Back to Basics With Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! As I was attempting to take a nap that sadly was unsuccessful, I thought of ways that I could blog on the regular basis. One of the first things I thought about doing but decided not to do at this moment in time was doing one of the courses WordPress puts on. I have decided to not do this as I am busy trying to build structure in my life and yes that would be helpful however the other things in my life I need to build structure in are slightly more important than taking a course that is everyday. When it comes to building structure in regards to my blog is committing to blogging three times a week. So, two of my post will be something that I have done before and that would be, Sundays I will do a post on my weekly plans to give you an idea of what my week will look likes. A good portion of my weeks are pretty much the same but I like to give you all an idea of the ways I attempt to be a productive adult. Another thing I plan on doing is giving a weekly update on Saturdays despite needing to sleep all day due to working Saturday nights. I think this will be doable if I plan it just right and I have faith in myself that I can make this possible. As far as the third post, I am not sure what day I will do it or what I will discuss. It might be just a random post of what ever is going on at the moment.

I also hope to possibly post a fourth post a week that involves showing the art the I am working on. Or even posting pictures of the cute things my cat does. So maybe having a fourth and fifth post that involve pictures of my art and my cat. I have noticed that when I post pictures I tend to get more people looking at the post. I also realize that if I post on the regular basis whether or not pictures are involve people tend to not loose interest in reading my blog and will continue to read it.

I do not have much more to post about in regards to blogging. I do hope to blog again later today in regards to my issues with Trump. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so much for reading my blog from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great Friday. I also hope everyone as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!