Tag Archives: Christmas

Just a Bunch of Ramblings the Holidays

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is almost nine o’clock in the evening in my corner of the world known as Seattle. My cat Billie Dean is lay right next to me as I type this particular blog. Billie has be quite helpful to me the last few days. The last few days my depression and PTSD symptoms have slightly increased. It’s hard do know if it’s actual symptoms or the winter blues and/or holiday blues. Maybe it’s all of the about but I am just grateful that Billie is helping be feel better.

As the Christmas holiday gets closer, I become someone anxious about being around family. I love my family but some of them increase my anxiety. That is why I have plans in place to when family shit hits the fan, I have ways to do self care.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Well, at least it is still morning in my corner of the world here in Seattle. Normally, I would be working right now. I would be working from the office today but took the day off to do some trainings that are actually webinars that I could watch anytime but I wanted to have the day off today. Yes, I will be watching the training webinars later today when I know I struggle more with my depression and anxiety.

Anyway, I will be spending a few hours with my grandpa today for some family time with him. We are going to get me a new cell phone as mine is on the frits after having it for four years. My grandpa will be taking me to get some food as well. Food from my favorite restaurant of Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Besides a new phone and Red Robin, I will be doing some of my Christmas shopping. Not all of it but just some of it. I only celebrate Christmas because of my grandpa and somewhat for my mom as my mom just has me and my brother. Christmas gives me an excuse to spend time with family even if they are dysfunctional but I love them them. I personally celebrate another other holiday that I will discuss later.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat is thrilled I am home at the moment. I think he is noticing that my anxiety and depression are acting up as he has been more lovey dovey or “clingy” lately especially after and issue I had with a work colleague. I love my job and enjoy working with my colleagues including the one I am having an issue with however I am grateful for Billie’s love and attention when things aren’t exactly going the way I want such as increased depression and anxiety symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good holiday season even if we are still stuck in a middle of a pandemic. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Rambling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish and celebrating this miracle holiday. In all honesty I get the feeling this particular blog post will go in all sorts of different directions as I seem scatter brained today.

Surprisingly, as I type this particular blog I am listening Christmas music. I guess it’s the season to do so. At least it is bringing me joy as I type this blog. Listening to Christmas music brought me joy at work as well. No, Christmas music was not playing when I was in session with clients. I guess the Christmas music helped me be productive with work today or at least the note taking part of my job.

Speaking of work, I have some pretty awesome colleagues. My small group team, I am a member of is an amazing group of people. I adore all my colleagues especially the ones that are on my small team. I really do like my supervisor. She is awesome.

After my work shift ended I decided to continue to listen to Christmas music while doing art work. My cat, Billie Dean wanted to help. So, some of my artwork is quite a bit more unusual than normal. I really love my cat and his “helpfulness” with the art work.

My depression has been acting up which is why I’ve been making some art work while listening to Christmas music. I am planning on giving my art work away as gifts during this holiday season to my friends and family.

I am grateful for the friends and family I have in my life. They truly do love and care about me. Billie, my cat is now trying to help me type this particular blog post. I feel the love from my colleagues, friends, family and my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating it. Peace Out, World!!!

The Start of the 2021 Holiday Season

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Hanukkah, World!!! Yesterday evening (Sunday, November 28, 2021) was the start of Hanukkah. I am personally not Jewish and I enjoy the meaning of the holiday as it was a miracle. Don’t know what to say as a non Jewish person but I do know it was a miracle and wouldn’t be able to share the story of the miracle which deserves some who is more familiar to share the miracle. Happy Hanukkah to the readers who are Jewish.

Honestly, this past week has been both emotionally and physically draining for me. It was physically draining for me because deep cleaned the bathroom as I let it get really gross and disgusting. Cleaning helped me feel a since of accomplishment even though I missed my cat, Billie Dean wasn’t around to “help” me with cleaning which isn’t helpful so he went my grandpa’s as I cleaned the bathroom as well a couple of corners in my living room.

The physical stuff was due to cleaning. The emotional stuff was missing my grandma almost four years ago as well as loosing my last cat Lil Gertie two years ago which landed on Thursday, November 28, 2019 which happened to be Thanksgiving Day that year (2019). The other emotion stuff was attending a goodbye dinner for my cat’s Billie’s last vet, Dr. B. Sadly, she had to make a tough decision close forever.

Speaking of vets, Billie Dean saw his new vet today. He tolerated a couple of things and I think that is a good thing. This vet and I are going to do our best to keep Billie a healthy quality of life which is why this vet wants to see Billie twice a year. When I adopted Billie, I knew there were dental issues and upper respiratory infection (URI). So, I knew there were going to be issues. I’m happy that I made the decision to have Dr. B (Billie’s old vet) take some bloodwork done while Billie was under to get his teeth cleaned. I really miss Dr. B even though the new vet is great. Billie was not quite sure of the new vet but sure in the hell impressed with her.

In fact I partly took today off from work to take care of Billie. The other part was give me some me time. Me time was taking Billie to meet his new vet who is awesome. The other me time I have been doing is spending time with Billie while I do some art while listening to Christmas music. I think it’s okay to place Christmas music now that Thanksgiving is over.

I know there are many other holidays this time of year and hope to find the time to blog about them. I don’t want to exclude out when it comes to holidays being celebrated. I want to make sure I can learn about other religions so I can share about them when it is time to celebrate them. I will do my best to post other holidays celebrate this time of year.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog as if you weren’t I would not be writing it. I really appreciate you the read my blog as if it wasn’t for you I would not be writing it. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah and Peace Out, World!!!

Disappointment of the Christmas Holiday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am greatly disappointed right now. My greatest wish that I have had since I was three was that both sides of my family would celebrate together with me. Sadly, this has never happened. My paternal grandfather over to drive me and my dad’s side to my moms side of the family to give me the one wish I have wanted since I was three, to have my family spend time with me so I wouldn’t have to do all the traveling. Sadly, my mom, brother and two uncles on my moms side refuse to get vaccinated while my dad, grandpa and two uncles on my dads side our vaccinated. Hell, I am vaccinated. My mom’s side doesn’t want to get vaccinated for personal reasons and I respect that. My grandpa isn’t willing to put his health or the health of my dad as risk. So I am very disappointed that other peoples choices are effecting the one Christmas wish I have wanted since I was three. I respect both sides of my families decision with their health choices. I just wish they would realize my Christmas wish is for both sides of my family to get together. Something that hasn’t happened since I was two years old. I am now 42. It’s be 40 years since both sides of my family were together for Christmas.

It’s very disappointing the my family has continued to not make my life long wish not come true and I am “the selfish one” for wanting this since I was three years old when my parents divorced the summer I was three years old. It should wasn’t my choice my parents divorced. I am lucky that my parents have remained friends.

I guess for me this pandemic know as Covid-19 has put my greatest Christmas wish to a halt. I respect everyone’s choices regarding their health I am disappointed my greatest Christmas hope isn’t going happened once again.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 11: A Cup of Coffee

Posted on by Gertie

If we were having coffee right now, I wouldn’t be drinking coffee as I detest the taste of coffee. I may not like the taste of coffee but I love the smell of it. One would think after living in Seattle the last twenty-six years that I would have at least started drinking coffee by now but I just don’t like the taste of it.

I most likely would get tea or hot chocolate if we were “having coffee.” Most of the time it depends on the time of day as well as the time of year if I would choose tea or hot chocolate. Most of the time if it is morning I will choose tea. I usually will drink hot chocolate in the evening. If it is during the holidays I usually will drink hot chocolate even in the morning as it reminds me of some good childhood memories. After the holidays, I go back to morning tea.

I started drinking tea every morning as a teenager because I watched my grandma drink tea every morning. So, it became a morning ritual to drink tea everyday. The only exception is during the Christmas time as hot chocolate and Christmas reminds me of good childhood memories.

Billie the Cat Wasn’t Amused

Posted on by Gertie
  • “Okay, if you have to. Only this one picture, Mom.”
  • “Mom, you have had enough amusement with this thing. Time to take it off.”

Happy Holidays, World!!! This is my cat, Billie Dean. Also known as Billie the Cat. The above pictures are of my cat, Billie who has some reindeer antlers on. For those who are visually impaired, may not be able to see Billie’s facial expression and just wanted to tell you that his face clearly states that he is not amused. I did put captions with what I thought he was thinking. I love my cat so much. Anyway, I thought I would share the pictures to help spread the holiday cheers.

Before ending this post, I want to wish you all a happy holiday season. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Traditions & The Holidays

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am not sure how to feel at the moment as I have many emotions that are swarming around. Some emotions I am dealing with are not all the pleasant and really wanting to avoid them while other emotions more pleasant and obviously more willing to not avoid them. This is the time of year where things don’t go so well for me in regards to my mental health challenges. Specifically, my depression and PTSD. Thankfully, I have plenty of ways to take care of myself this time of year.

One of the things that was suggested to me early on in my recovery during the holidays was to start my own traditions that I can do with or without people. The only thing I could think of at the time was the two comic books that I had; Christmas with the Superhero’s, Volumes One and Two. So, every year, starting the day after Thanksgiving, I read those two comic books several times during the holiday season. On Christmas Day I read both twice.

Another tradition I started about eight or so years ago was to do a holiday themed jigsaw puzzle. I usually start the puzzle on November 25th or Thanksgiving Day, whichever arrives first. I have several holiday themed jigsaw puzzles I do and sometimes I am able to do two or three depending on the size while other years I only complete one. The one I am doing this year is a thousand pieces and I know from experience that it most likely will be the only holiday puzzle I do this year due to the size. The best part of this tradition is I get to see the “fruits” of my labor by the time Christmas arrives and enjoy it till January 2nd. Of course when I do several smaller holiday puzzles in a holiday season I see more than just one accomplished puzzle. Being able to see an accomplished puzzle helps with my personal morale for the season.

Even though the two traditions I mentioned already have been great traditions to keep and will continue to keep, I decided to add a new tradition this year. That tradition is to do some art. Specifically, coloring a holiday poster or two depending on size and detail. I have decided this tradition will be like the puzzles and start on November 25th or Thanksgiving, whichever arrives first. I have started coloring a holiday poster as of yesterday (November 25th). I am positive I will have at least one accomplished by Christmas Day.

For me starting my own holiday traditions has been a lifesaver for me and my recovery. The reason being is because most of the other holidays traditions I follow through with has some form of trauma or sadness tied to them and needed some that didn’t have either. Most of the other traditions I do includes family as my family is big on traditions. The holidays are not the best time of year for me due to the trauma I have experienced around the holidays so having traditions of my own helps me redefine what the holidays are for me.

I could go on and on about traditions however I won’t as I am getting a little sleepy and plan on going to bed. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good night of sleep ahead of them if it is nighttime for you. If not I hope you have a good day ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Let the ____ Countdown Begin

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I was looking at the calendar and realized that today is June 25th. That means that Christmas is six months away. It also means that a friend of mine will start posting on Facebook on what he calls “The Christmas Countdown” every single day till Christmas. As much as I really don’t like being reminded of how much time we have left till Christmas, I am glad that it brings my friend joy to post a daily countdown till Christmas on his Facebook page.

Now on to other topics. Lets discus, sleep and insomnia. I highly dislike having insomnia but at least I got some sleep last night. Not as much as I would have liked but at least I got some sleep.

Now on to my work situation. I am planning on quitting my current job because the schedule is not the best for me or my mental health. See my job is an on-call position and it is a twelve hour night shift so I can get called in two hours before the shift is suppose to start so I cant really prepare myself especially in regards to sleep. Yes, I know I can say no and I have but sadly I am the only on call and can’t be the one to keep taking people’s shifts if they can’t make it in for some reason. Sometimes I have had to cancel appointments with my therapist so I could get some sleep and cancelling a therapy appointments is never good for me. So, since I still qualify and get disability I can quit my job and work on my mental health as I apply to for other jobs.

Speaking of applying for other job a friend reached out to me via Facebook private messaging, that the mental health agency she works for has a part time peer position that she thinks would be “an awesome fit” for me. Right now the job posting is only for internal applicants but since my friends former supervisor is now the supervisor for the program needing the peer specialist, my friend was given permission for me to send in my cover letter and resume via my friends work email. So, I am going to be writing a cover letter and tweaking my resume and sending to my friend. Granted the location of the job isn’t ideal for me but I know I can manage getting to work if I get the job and it working in housing with formally homeless individuals which is what I am passionate about and have experience in. Not only do I have this friend who works at the agency as a peer but I have a former colleague who works at this same agency as the friend so I know I have two allies.

I better get going as I realize it is time for some food because I am hungry. It is time for me to get some breakfast. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

There Is No Place Like Home

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am home from spending time with my family. I, actually arrived home yesterday (Wednesday, December 26th) evening but was not up to blogging or doing much of anything. The only thing I was up to doing when I got home was getting into my pajama’s and hanging out with my cat. I am so grateful to be home and I think, Lil Gertie, my cat, is glad to be home as she stayed at my grandpa’s when I was at my moms.

With all that happened over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I am surprised that I didn’t need to call the after hours crisis number for the agency I am a client of as it is something that usually happens with less drama. I did briefly talk with my therapist Christmas Eve for a short five minutes about my dad and his seizures. My therapist couldn’t talk longer as the agency was closing early and it was impressed upon them that they leave no later than a half an hour after closing. I informed him that if I needed to I might need to email him over the holiday and thankfully, I didn’t have to. Well, I did have to but was too busy dealing with family drama with my mom on Christmas Day to do so.

Anyway, when it was my plan to see my therapist today but when we went schedule for today during our last session he looked at his calendar and saw he had a training today so, I have an appointment with him tomorrow. I am looking forward to it as there is much I need to tell him about. I most likely will email him at some point today to update him on what happened with my mom on Christmas Day. I just want to make sure he is aware of things that are going on.

I really don’t have much more to say without repeating myself. I hope to blog again later today but I can not promise anything. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!