Tag Archives: Mental Health

Just a Bunch of Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me.  As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.

On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.

Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.

On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

1000th Post

Posted on by Gertie

HELLO, WORLD!!! I am happy to announce that this is my one thousandth post. I have shared quite a bit of my life with you over the last few years. The ups and the downs of having a mental health challenge.

When I started my blog I wasn’t expecting one hundred people to follow my blog much less having four hundred and forty six people to follow my blog. Having four hundred and forty six followers may not seem much compared to other people’s blogs but to me having as many followers as I do have I am happy to have them.

Seeing my blog grow into what it has, has it amazed me. It is given other people who have mental health challenges hope. Hope that was part of why I started this blog. I’m still not sure if my blog is reaching my other targeted audience who don’t have a mental health challenge because it is my hope that those without out and mental health challenge it will help lessen the stigma of those who do have a mental health challenge.

I may not view my blog as very successful but I must have some success if I have some pretty loyal readers and/or followers. So my blog must be a success to some degree.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated on my from my end of things. I hope you can an will continue to read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

I Haven’t Been Back To Sleep & Feeling Like Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is three thirty in the morning and still haven’t been back to sleep since my five hour nap. Not having enough sleep affects my mental health. When my mental health is affected, shit can hit the fan quite quickly. It is not my mental health that I am worried about right now. It is my physical health that is worrying me. I have a major migraine that won’t go away plus my asthma is acting up.

Due to lack of sleep and multiple health conditions acting up, I am thinking I might have a friend or family member take me to the hospital to get checked out. Or maybe I should wait and call my doctors office later in the morning to see if I can see her sooner than next Thursday (August 30th).  I’ve also been vomiting like it it going out of style. I am taking Pepto Bismal for the nausea but it is not working for the stupid vomiting.

At least my cat is by my side. Lil Gertie is trying her best to keep me calm. In fact she is doing a good job at it. I should get going an cuddle more with my cat and see if someone can take me to the hospital. If nobody can take me to the hospital then I will have to wait to my doctor’s office opens later in the morning.  Now it’s time to cuddle with my cat, Lil Gertie. Peace Out, World!!!

A Five Hour Nap & I Am Still Sleepy

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is just post eleven o’clock at nigh in my corner of the world. I fell asleep for a much need five or so hour nap. I just hope I can get back to sleep so I will be able to sleep through the night. My cat woke me up wanting her litter box cleaned out and most importantly to be fed her wet can food even though she has plenty of dry food to eat. Now that the kitty chores are done, I hope to go back to bed after writing the post.

On a plus note I got a call today regarding a job for a peer position. Still waiting for an email from the lady with full details about the interview but at least I know when and where it is going to be. I just need confirmation on the address and who it is going to be with.

As for the shelter counselor job the person finally emailed me back and informed be it might not be to the end of the week till I find out when I my interview with them is going be. At least she finally got back to me regarding why no interview has been set up yet.

I am still really from the roller coast ride of grief I had today regarding missing my grandma. The grief hit me extra hard today. I am not sure why but it did. I was able to talk to my therapist for a little bit regarding the grief over the phone today and that was quite helpful to me.

Thank you for reading my post. I hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope I can get back to sleep after a five hour nap and it being just after eleven o’clock at night in my neck of the woods. Thank you again for reading. Have a good night’s sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

A Roller-coaster of A Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been roller-coaster  type of day when it comes to my emotions. I was able to meet my spend down for medicaid due to a comprehensive  dental examination. That means I officially have medicaid back on. Which will help with my dental, mental and physical health care. I also happy that I will be able to get the proper care I need to take care of myself.

On a side note I went to call my grandma on her cell phone to tell her some good news. The sad part of this is I had a lapse in judgement that she passed away just over six months ago which let the flood gates of grief come rushing in. I miss my grandma so much. A plus note, I did have lunch with my grandpa.

I talked on the phone with my therapist about my grief dealing with my grandma and he gave me the support I needed. He suggested that I journal and/or blog about the grief. Dealing with grief is not easy.

On to the positive note. I have an interview on August 31st for a Peer Specialist position. I am looking forward to having an interview and hopefully a job a peer. I should here back later on this week about getting an interview for a shelter counselor position. Not sure what position I would want more put at least I will have some job prospects coming my way.

I am also happy that I will be able to get the much needed dental care I so desperately need. Getting the proper dental care helps your overall health. Having good health will help me with being able to go back to work.

As you can tell I’ve had an emotional roller-coaster type of day. Please send out positive energy or vibes or prayers or whatever good mojo my way about getting the job that is best suited for me.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciative to have readers like you in my life. I hope that my post as of lately gives out some hope to people because some of my post appear a little hopeless and depressing when I read back on them. It means a great deal that I have extremely awesome readers like you to help me keep blogging. If it weren’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t still be blogging. Thank you again for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

What’s The Point?

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I have a bunch of emotions going on within myself that I am having difficulty thinking straight. Maybe it’s because of the lack of sleep I had last night but I just want things to go the way I want them to. I am sick and tired of playing the waiting game on things.

For instance I received an email last week from a potential employer if I could interview at one specific time however I had another obligation and was informed that I would receive another email about another interview time for this week. That has not happened yet. It is getting extremely frustrating on my part because I expected the email by last Friday. I emailed them last Thursday in hopes to get a response yet I am still waiting on one.

I am starting to feel as if I will remain unemployed on disability for the rest of my life. Not working is having an effect on my mental health. I have been applying to other jobs as well but nothing not even a possibility of an interview.

What’s the point of even trying to go back to work when there are plenty of jobs out there that I am well qualified for yet not getting any bites. I mean I feel like nobody wants to hire me because I resigned from my last job due to the fact my symptoms were getting out of control and how can I help others when I needed to focus on my own recovery at the moment.

I just want a job I can be proud of and that will make me happy. Plus I need to make more money than I am making on disability. The universe needs to give me a break and finally let me go back to work. I am bored half out of my mind with not working.

Thank you for reading me ramble on and on about my job search. I hope everyone has an awesome Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle & In An Ambien Fog

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sleepless in Seattle and have taken my Ambien which means I am in an Ambien fog. I am blogging in an Ambien fog in hopes that it will help me become sleepy.

I have done my normal sleep hygiene routine and even took an Ambien yet sleep isn’t coming easy to me tonight. I even had a busy Monday to help me sleep better. But apparently sometimes everything you do to help you get to sleep doesn’t always help. I guess it is just time to try to lay down again and try to get to sleep. Not getting a good nights sleep can have an effect on ones mental health so I really need to get to bed as soon as possible. It could effect physical health as well.

Have a good night sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Yet, Another Lengthy Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, again, World!!! It has been a long day for me and I still have a great deal on my mind. Not sure why I have so much spinning in my little brain of mine. Some of the spinning in my head is a good thing while some of it is not a good thing.

Even though I got everything taken care of at the DSHS office I am still worried about money. Yes, I have set up payment plans for medical bills that aren’t covered by Medicare and/or charity care. Hopefully, once I meet my spend down for Medicaid, I can get that back. I know things will work out in its own time.

As for needing money, I have decided to keep up the advertisements up on my blog. Every time when an ad is clicked, I get a few cents. A few cents that will eventually go into a PayPal account once it reaches one hundred dollars. That is why I am asking you my reader to click on one ad a day because every view cents adds up.

Another thing I plan on doing is selling some of my paintings. I am painting enough of them that I think I could make some money. Not much money because my paintings are all the good but it will be an extra ten to twenty dollars in my pocket.

On a plus note I had a good day. I spent half the day being an adult and the other half being a child. Being a child for a  while today is something I needed to do. I have needed to do it for a long time. Being a child is a form of self care for me.

I had a blast swimming at my grandpa’s place today.  It is always nice spending time with my grandfather. I think he enjoys the fact that I have been spending so much time with him lately. I think spending time with each other helps the both of us.

I think I have said this before but I am extremely grateful for all of you in the blogging community. There is little to no drama. In fact I have not seen drama on any blogging community. I just want to thank you for letting me into your community despite the shit I write. Just know I am proud to be a member of the blogging community.

Thank you for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me. Have a great rest of your Monday. Or the last three hours of what is left of Monday. Again thank you for reading. Have a good nights sleep. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Well, It’s Monday!!!

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning in my corner of the world. I am not a big fan of Mondays but considering I have to take care of some shit today, I am kind of glad that it is Monday. Actually, I am not at all glad it is Monday but considering I have to do some adulting, I am glad to be able to get some things accomplished that I need to accomplish.

The first thing on my list is to go to the DSHS office as there was some type of error made in how much money I make which led to some of my DSHS benefits being cut off completely and/or reduced. My food stamps are being reduced to barely nothing and what little medical I was getting is being totally cut off which is why I am going to the DSHS office.

After getting home from the DSHS office I plan on calling a couple of hospitals asking why they sent my bills to collections when I was suppose to get charity care. That also means I have to call the ambulance companies as well regarding sending bills collections. This all means I have have to call the collections agencies as well. Not my idea of fun.  I might have to do some of the calling of places tomorrow which I am okay with just as long as I start the calling today.

I didn’t get much sleep last night due to health problems. Health problems that are related to my weird ass mouth infection that is causing me a great deal of pain. Pain tat kept me up a good portion of the night.

I really think that my physical health problems are starting to affect my mental health symptoms as the mental health symptoms are starting to increase. Usually when my physical health is acting up then my mental health can increase just slightly.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a good day. In fact have a good work week if you work. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Midnight & I Can’t Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is twelve midnight in my corner of the world and I can not sleep. I am not sure why I can not sleep. I highly dislike not being able to sleep. I have a great deal on my mind but I think I can not sleep due to the fact that it is a combination of PTSD and insomnia.

Right now my depression and PTSD are acting up and I am not sure why. I am pretty sure my poor health isn’t helping the symptoms of my mental health challenges. This stupid weird ass mouth infection is just not conducive to what I have planned.

Maybe, I will turn on some music and do some art. Actually, the genre of art I will be doing is coloring. Not sure what genre of music I will be listening to yet but the decision is in the works.

Have goodnight and hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope everyone has a good Monday and work week when they get up for work. Thanks for reading. I really do appreciate people reading my blog. Having regular readers is what helps keep this blog going. Peace Out, World!!!