Tag Archives: Walking

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am beyond grateful for taking today off. I am grateful that I can be awake during daylight hours especially on the first day of summer. I am grateful that I won’t have to work tonight.

As I stated sometime late last week/early this week that I would be starting the Weekly Check-Ins once again on Saturday evenings. So I am following through on what I said I would do and am not allowing increased PTSD symptoms to prevent me from doing so. So here is my weekly check-in.

As expected I went to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City on Monday. I am still in training and “helped” with an adoption. More or less I observed but I am okay with that. I mostly did dishes and laundry which I am glad I was able to do as we only had one person scheduled to visit a cat and thankfully the cat found its furrever home. I was also able to visit with the cats and spend time with them. I mainly spent time with the senior kitty with FIV. I feel in love with him and so would have adopted him but since FIV cats need to be an only cat or be in a home with other cat with FIV adopting him was not an option as my cat, Billie Dean, does not have FIV. I love being able to volunteer at PAWS Cat City.

I had my usual session with my therapist. Instead of having a phone session we decided to do our session via Zoom. I wish would have been Zoom all along but it is a lesson learned. As of right now, my next session is going to be in person with extra precautions in place but if the agency I go has to change the start date for in person session then our session will be via Zoom. My current therapist appears to be really supportive.

One of the things I did do multiple times this past week was go walking to Cowen Park and Ravenna Park. In fact I “hiked” through both parks as they have trails that connect both parks together. I love the being able to go walking on trails through local city parks. In fact Seattle has some pretty amazing parks. Parks that have actual hiking trails which I love.

Another thing I did multiple times this week was start doing mindfulness and/or meditation practices twice daily. I had pretty much stopped this completely and realized I needed to get back into mindfulness and/or meditations practices. I have found that it has been quite helpful for me and my recovery to continue to do this.

I do not have much more to share in this particular blog post. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great summer ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Eight: Pleasure

Posted on by Gertie

Bring on the Challenge

by Gertie

Bring on the Challenge of pleasure during uncertain times.

Bring on the challenge of enjoying simple things like coloring when mental health symptoms increase.

Bring on the challenge of walking through nature when life gets too hard.

Bring on the challenge of being yourself in a cruel world.

Just bring on the challenge of what you desire.

So Far, A Weird A$$ Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a challenging day for me and it is still relatively early in the day. Hell, it is still considered early afternoon here in Seattle. I tried taking a nap when I got home from work but sadly the nap only lasted for two hours.

Since I was unable to sleep for very long during my nap, I decided to get up and spend time with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is very much a lap cat who loves his belly being petted. Out of all the cats I have had throughout my life, Billie is the only one who doesn’t mind his belly being rubbed. In fact Billie loves his belly rubbed. He will turn over on his back so he can have his belly rubbed.

After spending some time with my cat Billie and the weather is not in a down pour of rain, I decided to go for a walk to Cowen and Ravenna Parks. Yes, I did say in my last post I would go to Cowen and Ravenna Park but it was looking like it was going to be a really soggy day here in Seattle. Anyway, while I walking around both parks I ran into my therapist as he was walking his two dogs. Before I went and said hi to my therapist I looked around to see if he was with anyone besides his dogs. I just didn’t want to put him in an awkward situation if he was with somebody and had to explain who I was even though he can’t acknowledge how he knows me. Anyway, I noticed he was only with his dogs so I went up and said hello. We talked for a few moments as I petted his dogs. He has some pretty chill and loving dogs. As we spoke we talked about his dogs and my cat. (No, I did not take my cat to the park.) We discussed how pets are quite helpful for people’s mental health. After about fifteen minute of talking about our pets and the weather we went our separate ways. It was just slightly awkward for me to see my therapist in the area I live in.

Now that I am home from my walk through Ravenna and Cowen Park, I will be spending more time with my beloved cat, Billie. I think Billie is happy that I spend time with him.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Get off work
  • Take a nap
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie Dean
  • Walk to and through Cowen and Ravenna Parks
  • Start working on a workbook or two again

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork.

Tuesday

  • Clean my apartment
  • Work on workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork.
  • Go walking to and through Cowen and Ravenna Parks

Wednesday

  • Have a therapy session via phone call or zoom with my therapist. (I am hope a zoom call as I am not to fond of phone sessions.)
  • Work on workbook or two
  • Do some form of artwork

Thursday

  • Walk through Cowen and Raven Parks
  • Do some form of artwork
  • Work on a workbook or two

Friday

  • Do some form of artwork
  • Go grocery shopping
  • Clean my apartment
  • Work on a workbook or two

Saturday

  • Enjoy a much needed day off from work. (I only work on Saturday night for a twelve plus hour night shift.)
  • Enjoy the first day of summer
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Celebrate the summer Solstice.
  • Work on a workbook or two

A Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a hot minute since I last blogged. I honestly don’t have any excuses even though I am sure I could find some to give you all but I won’t. I enjoy blogging and don’t know why I haven’t made more of an effort to do so.

Let’s start off with the good news involving work. As you may or may not know, I work at a young adult homeless shelter as a shelter counselor working twelve hour night shifts. I started out as an on call and now have a permanent day I work. Yes, that means I have a regular schedule even if its one night week. My regular shift is Saturday and this all started last week on Saturday, July 20th of 2019. I had reached out to my supervisor asking if he needed me to work one day a week on the regular basis since my other two teammates were working 36 to 48 hours a week and my supervisor said yes, if I was willing to work Saturdays. I informed him that I would love to take Saturdays as that was the day I was hoping for. My supervisor was and is very much appreciative of me advocating for myself to work one day a week. I am also grateful I did because from my understanding there a couple of possible new people coming on board and now they will be on calls and I don’t have to worry about when my next shift as well as I could have lost out on the opportunity I was given. I may not enjoy working a twelve hour night shift but am grateful that I am no longer “on-call” and now have a regular schedule.

As for the rest of today, it is going to remain being lazy. I am going to be spending much needed quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. She appears to be enjoying the fact I am spending the day with her.

Today, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy as I color. I am really enjoying learning about philosophy via podcast as I color. I find that as I color I tend to remember what I learned from the podcast about philosophy. My coloring projects are also coming along great.

Today, the weather in Seattle is absolutely beautiful. So, I decided that I am taking advantage of the awesome weather by taking multiple walks throughout the day. Taking walks helps me a great deal and I enjoy them immensely.

I don’t have much more to share. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of you Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Monday Evening Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post today was and still is a day for me do good self care. So far doing good self care has been challenging to do however it is something that continues to be accomplished. The most challenging of the self care acts was that of taking a shower. Not sure why it has been the most challenging but it was. I did take a shower shortly after my last post and am grateful that I accomplished it.

As accomplished as I feel taking a shower, I feel just as accomplished with the other things I have done today. In fact, I did a great deal of walking today and feel proud that I walked as much as I did today. In fact all the walking I did today led me to walking to a park and enjoying myself there.

When I was at the park, I was there for about an hour and a half. I just sat there enjoying the beauty of the park as well as read. I read some comic books. In fact the comic books I read today at the park were Wonder Woman. If you have been reading my blog for awhile you are well aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I have been a Wonder Woman fan since I was a kid. My dad got me into Wonder Woman and I greatly appreciate him for that.

Since returning home from the park, I decided to listen to a podcast about mythology. In fact if it wasn’t for being a big fan of Wonder Woman, I don’t think I would be interested in learning about mythology. After each episode of the podcast about mythology, I go online and look up what was discussed so I am educating myself even more on the subject of mythology.

As I listened to the podcast on mythology, I did some art. Specifically, the art that I did was color. I love to color for a multitude of reasons. One of which is that it is a type of mindfulness practice for me. I am coloring a poster and hope to finish it to give to my therapist. For me giving people finished coloring projects is gratifying.

I don’t have much else to say and really should get going to I can get me something to eat for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Monday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is yet another Monday and I am wishing I had a job that had a “normal” work schedule but thankfully, I don’t have to work tonight. I do however have a two hour work meeting tomorrow (Tuesday) evening. I enjoy what I do for work, I just don’t like the fact it is an on call job working a twelve hour overnight shift. It is not conducive for someone like me who has “treatment resistant insomnia.” Sadly, I will be putting in my two weeks notice in the next week or two.

As far as writing my resignation letter, I am not going to do that today. I will be laying low and doing things to help me not isolate yet have some “me time” or some good self care time. First and fore most I need to take a much needed shower. The last time I took a shower was last Thursday morning so I am not smelling all that good. You know you smell bad when you can smell yourself and it doesn’t smell all that pretty. I am surprised my cat still wants to sit on my lap and be petted.

Another thing I plan on doing is to go walking. I plan on going on multiple walks as it is a beautiful day outside. As I walk I plan on just taking in the sunshine and enjoying the moment. So, I guess I will be doing mindful walking.

I, of course will be listening to podcast. The subjects I have been listening to over the weekend and most interested in at the moment are philosophy and mythology. I don’t know how I got interested in philosophy but I know how I got interested in mythology. I got interested in mythology due to the fact that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Wonder Woman’s roots goes back into mythology. If it wasn’t for my love of Wonder Woman I don’t think I would have been interested in mythology. In fact someone told me that philosophy and mythology can go hand in hand and to a degree I agree with that but they are also two very different subjects.

I do not have much more to say except that I hope to educate you on what I have learned from the podcast and from looking up the information online. I also want to thank you for reading my blog as it greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good work week everyone. I also hope you all have a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Update on Self-Care Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is early evening in my corner of the world and am having a relatively good day. I think I am having a relatively good day because I have focused today solely on self-care today. A self-care day that I desperately needed and am beyond grateful that I decided to do it and follow through with it.

So far today, I have mostly listened to a philosophy podcast on Spotify called “Philosophize This” while doing other things. I am thrilled that started listening to “Philosophize This” again because I am learning a great deal. I am learning a great deal about philosophy and other things from “Philosophize This” because when I finish an episode, I look up things that Stephen West discusses in his podcast. I look up the information Stephen West discusses on his podcast “Philosophize This” not because I don’t belief him but because I further want to educate myself on the topics he discusses. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” and educating myself on the topics being discussed helps me find things to talk to other about besides the typical things I discuss with others. So, I guess you can say it will help with my communication skills.

One of the things I did while listening to “Philosophize This” was go for several walks. Walks that have helped me a great deal with getting some excess anxiety and energy out of my system. Anxiety and energy that isn’t exactly helpful for me especially when I am having a self-care day. I love to go walking for many reasons. One reason I enjoy walking is it gets me out of my apartment as well as out of my head.

Another thing I have been doing while listening to “Philosophize This” is art. I have been both painting and coloring. I did both genres of art because I enjoy doing both genres. I also did both because I was needing to have the paint dry before adding to the painting and coloring was also a way for me to think on what else I wanted to add to the painting or what I wanted to paint next. Plus coloring is a type of mindfulness practice for me.

Since it’s just barely five in the evening in my corner of the world I realize I am needing to eat dinner as I am hungry. I am trying to figure out what I want to eat. What type of food am I craving. I am not sure what type of food I exactly want at the moment. I know that there is a specific dish I really want from a restaurant in my neighborhood but I am not sure if I want to spend that much money on food. But I want something different from mac and cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Maybe I could go walking around my neighborhood to see what type of food calls out to me even if I am spending money I don’t want to spend. I don’t go out to eat all that often. I think going to get food is something I need to do.

I do not have much else to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you have a great rest of your Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

This is how I am when I’m starting to dissociate & I hope it’s educational for you as I fight against it.

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Monday and Good Evening, World!!! It is an absolutely, amazingly, beautiful day here in Seattle and I have been enjoying it to the best of my ability. Sadly, I am partly in reality and partly fighting against the dissociative state I am slowly getting in. Being is a dissociated state even a partial one is never good thing for me.

So, I went for a walk and a listened to some great music. As I was walking listening to music, I realized I was starting to dissociate and stopped in my tracks to go back home. As I walked back up I did a walking mindfulness and meditation exercise as I walked back home. As I walked through the door to my apartment my cat instantly knew something was wrong so she did was she needed to do and it helped great deal for me to get more it reality than I wasn’t in. Hell, I am still trying to get back into a hundred percent reality. Not sure why I am fighting so hard with the dissociation right now. I just want to enjoy the nice Seattle weather by taking a walk. I have done some mindfulness and meditation practices since I am hope and it is not help all that much at the moment. My cat is helping a great deal. Just focusing on her, my cat is quite helpful.

Now, I am just going to play some music and do some art. I will also play my flute. When I play my flute and/or do art, it helps me get out what I need to so I am able to be fully in reality and not in a dissociative state. Art and music always help. I might do some art outside since it is a beautiful weather day here in Seattle. I just cant go for a walk or I could forget how to get home and I don’t want that so that’s why I’m going to do art on this beautiful sunny day in Seattle in the community porch for the people who live in my apartment building.

Of course I will be spending more time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she appears to know how to help me when I am in a dissociative state. She is an amazing cat that has helped me a great deal with when I am in a true dissocive  state like I am now. I really don’t let myself go when I am writing. I guess now people can see how hard it is for me.

I am thinking I am needing to end this post so I can do my art and spend time with my cat. Have a great Monday everyone.I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

It’s the Little Things That Will Help

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am not sure how to feel or what to think. As I mentioned in a previous post that I posted on February 26th, I had a meeting with the supervisor of the peer run help line I volunteer at. I was informed that someone that sound like me has been calling the peer run help line and well as the crisis line. I inform them that it wasn’t me and gave them a list of why it wasn’t me. The supervisor then said I could volunteer again on my regular shifts of Saturdays. I get an email yesterday (Friday) telling me to “hold off” as they “investigate.” I understand where this person is coming from as you don’t want a call taker answering phones on help line if they are not doing well themselves. If I were calling these help lines I would have admitted to the supervisor however I didn’t call them and feel like I am being punished. I also feel like I am not being believed and that feeling comes from the trauma I suffered as a child. The thing that frustrates me the most is this person said I could come back and then said to hold off as they investigate. I really like volunteering on the peer run help line and it has helped me a great deal to remain recovery focused and if I loose this gig because of something the folks at this organization think I am doing something I am not doing then I will be extremely hurt. Like I said I understand where the supervisor is coming from however I know without a shadow of doubt that I am NOT calling in. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be surprised if the supervisor reads my blog if they remember I blog. I mention as they are trying to figure out if I am stable enough to volunteer. Now, I am starting to sound a little paranoid but I really want to volunteer at this peer run help line as it has been quite helpful for me to remain focused on my own recovery. As you can tell this specific topic is causing me to have conflicting emotions and I need to use some of my skills.

On to another subject that isn’t so emotional for me, the weather. It is a beautiful sunny day here in Seattle. It may be sunny outside but it sure is colder than hell. I am not a big fan of the cold weather. Despite the chilly weather outside, I think part of my plan for today is to take two extra walks. I usually walk twice a day for a least a mile for each walk. However, I think today I will put in two extra walks, walking a least a mile. It is a beautiful yet chilly day here in Seattle and since the plans I had for this evening were pretty much cancelled, I have time for two extra walks.

I think another thing I will do is read comic books. I really need to catch up on the latest Wonder Woman comic books as I have fallen behind in reading them. If you have been reading my blog for a while you are well aware of that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I started reading and collecting Wonder Woman comics since I was in Kindergarten. Wonder Woman comics have been one of the constants in my life. One of the things I turn to on both the good and the bad days.

Something else that comes to mind that is a no brainer for me to do today is spend some quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I am one hundred percent sure that she has been picking up on the emotions I have been dealing with in regards to the volunteer job. Lil Gertie has been cuddling more than she usually does. She tends to do this when my emotions are starting to get the better of me and it helps a great deal. I love my cat so much.

Another thing I am planning on doing in place of volunteering tonight is watching The Umbrella Academy. I am really enjoying the show. I am hoping I can binge watch the rest of the show before the end of the weekend and if I can’t I hope to finish it before I see my therapist on Tuesday.

One last thing I plan on doing is reaching out to friends. Talking to friends has always been helpful to me. Plus it helps me not focus on my own problems. Friends have a way of helping you out even when they don’t realize they are helping you out.

As you can tell, it is a bunch of little things that will help me through all the various emotions I am feeling today. Sometimes it is all about the small things. Small things that can brighten someone’s day. And sometimes you have to create the small things to help brighten your own day.

I don’t have much more to say in this already long post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you have beautiful weather go out and enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!