Category Archives: Uncategorized

Anxiety Increasing as Tomorrow Gets Closer

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! My anxiety is increasing as tomorrow gets closer. Even though I’ve had my first week of work it was mostly done remotely or in person with the HR and IT departments which is at different location that I will be working at. See tomorrow in my first day at my job site and I am nervous as fucking hell. I know it is okay to be nervous but not just anxious about my first day at my job site.

I am nervous about having to take public transportation again. The last two years I’ve been either working from home or taking Lyft to and from work due to Covid-19 as I was trying to limit the amount of exposure I could get. I’m not so worried about the exposure as much due to having the vaccine, the booster and actually being diagnosed with Covid-19 the day after I got the booster. Covid suck shit and I know there is a possibility of getting it again but that is not why I’m worried about using public transportation. I’m nervous because, I’ll be taking a route I’ve never taken before. I’m nervous because even on routes, I am familiar with, there are times I have to get off due anxiety and/or PTSD issues and would have to wait for the next bus so I could be in a better head space to be back on the bus. I know everything will be fine but I’m still anxious about it. I just to get use to public transportation again as well as a new route to me.

When I get home from work tomorrow I am sure my cat Billie dean will be more than happy that I am home. Hell, Billie is always happy when I get home even if it is for five minutes for checking my mail or taking out the garbage. I’m more than certain that I will be just as happy to be home as my cat will be.

I do not have much else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Middle of a Sunday Afternoon Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’m not feeling so good. It’s not because I am sick; it is because I am dealing with the worst cramps in the world and I usually have some pretty bad cramps. These cramps are some of the worst I’ve had that at one point in time they were so painful, I actually cried and had to take one of my narcotic medications to relieve the pain. I rarely take a narcotic pain reliever especially for cramps as I have high tolerance for pain.

Since my cramps were so bad I called in sick to my volunteer job. I called out because wouldn’t be able to do my volunteer work like should do it because of my stupid period.

Having a period doesn’t mean you are a woman; it means you have uterus and were assigned at birth to be “female.” In fact people naturally assume I am “female” because I was assigned it at birth and appear to look like one when in reality, I consider myself non-binary and gender non conforming. I realize I could loose some followers and regular readers for my gender identity but that is their choice even if I would like them to continue to read my blog.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except that having a period fucking sucks. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It truly means the world to me that you do read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspirations; Day 15: Take a Cue from Your Reader

Posted on by Gertie

In an earlier “assignment” I was suppose to ask what would you like to blog about more or what topics. I didn’t ask because I either didn’t get a response or the response would take too much of my time looking up that topic. I usually take my cues from comments and the like people do as I know that is something to continue to keep writing about.

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Do Food Handlers permit class and test

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (First day at actual job site)
  • Spend time with Billie when I arrive home

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work from home as I have online training
  • Dinner with neighbors who are friends

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (at job site)
  • Spend time with Billie when I get home from work
  • Attend an online 12 step group

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (at job site)
  • Spend time with Billie after I get home from work

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Work (at job site)
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Get home and spend time with Billie

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Spend day at grandpa’s house
  • Do laundry while at grandpa’s
  • Make grandpa dinner while at his place

Lack of Sleep & Other Thoughts

Posted on by Gertie

It is five o’clock in the morning Seattle time and still haven’t slept yet. Good ole insomnia is kicking my ass tonight. That besides the point. Today’s my brother’s birthday and I made him a care package but I don’t where to send it as has done his disappearing act again.

Anyway I took a four hour training on First Aid, CPR and AED. I needed the first aid and CPR for work and found out if I’m strained on AED I get a raise so yeah me. On that note the four training could have been down in two hours but that is my opinion.

I better try and get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Up Before the Butt Crack of Dawn

Posted on by Gertie

Good Sunday Morning, World from Seattle, Washington, USA. It is two o seven in the morning as I start this lovely post. I would rather be sleeping soundly like my cat Billie Dean is right now.. In fact he is snoring. Snoring is normal for him.

Lets start why I’m probably up before the but crack of dawn which would be work tomorrow (Monday). I go into my work site for the first time I go into my actual job site and I have anxiety over it. Not sure why but I think it’s because I want to do a good job at what I do and proof my supervisor and myself that I can do the job.

On that note, I will be volunteering at PAWS Cat City later this morning and am proud to say that Boris got adopted Friday morning. If he wasn’t FIV positive and more lovey dovey than my Billie Boy I would have add him to the family.

My other plans to do today is to do a math workbook to freshen up on my math skills. I also plan on doing a mindfulness workbook to help me with being more mindful of the moment and maybe start a mindfulness group at work if it’s the type of recovery work I can do at the Triage center. I’m also going to work on a workbook specifically for mental health recovery.

As part of my self care besides volunteering at PAWS Cat City, I’ll do some art work by coloring. And of course spending time with my cat Billie.

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It’s been a long week. It’s been a long week. It started with me volunteering on Sunday as I normally do. We were slammed due to it being “kitten season.” The place I volunteer at has a super sweet lovable senior kitty who surprisingly hasn’t been adopted yet.

Then I started my job on Monday. It’s been a week full of training and my brain hurts from everything I learned this past week. Best part was having yesterday (Friday) off so I did an extra volunteer shift. I love me some kitten time but I love my Billie so much.

Then today I took a training to get certified in First Aid and CPR which is required by my employer. I had to pay for the training but I’m okay with that especially since it included AED training. To find out, I will get a “few cent raise” for the AED training or so I’m told. Weather or not I get the raise having all three certifications will help make me more employable.

All I need to do now is get my food handler’s permit and I am all set in what I need which will be easy to attain since I needed one for working at Safeway. On that note I just realized I need to show proof on auto insurance but since I don’t have a car I don’t have any. I still might have to get it if I’m required to drive a company car but if that is the case then I get to use auto insurance for tax purpose’s then.

Have a great rest of your weekend and Peace Out, World!!!

Update on My Mom

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just got back from my First Aid, CPR and AED training and will update you in a different post about it. I forgot to update you about my mom yesterday. As I’ve mentioned in previous blog post my mom has stage three lung cancer. Sadly they can not do surgery due to it being too risky on where the cancer is in the lung. So, the treatment plan is radiation and chemo therapy specific to the exact type of cancer she has and will be “mapped out” so it is directed only at the cancer. My mom is scared as anyone with cancer is but she appears to be in good spirits and has a positive outlook but she is also be realistic about things as well.

In fact she is taking it better than the rest of the family which would be me, my cousins, auntie and uncles. Sadly nobody has heard from my brother in while as he does these disappearing acts from time to time. In all honesty when my brother gets the news he is going to take it the hardest as he a mama’s boy.

I need to end this post before I start crying again. Please sent positive vibes, energy, juju and prayers my mom’s way. Thank you for reading my blog and Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 14: Recreate a Single Day

Posted on by Gertie

In all honesty as much as recreating a single day is tempting but in reality, it would change I am today. If it wasn’t for all the ups, downs and in betweens I would be a different person as many others would be different as well. As shitty as our world is I don’t know if it would be a good idea.

On that note moving from Anaheim, California to the Seattle area of Washington (State) at one time would have been a day I would have wanted to recreate because I didn’t want to leave my friends in California. Normal teenage stuff there.

As far as going to Nashville I don’t regret it has I had some good time as well as some traumatic times. and still wouldn’t trade my decision for the world by going to Nashville. I did a lot of growing up there and maturing.

So in reality as sucky as some moments are and how awesome other moments are, I would not want to recreate another day or I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Up Way Too Early on a Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World and Happy Weekend!!! I woke up at three thirty three this morning, Seattle time for no fucking reason. On that note if you regularly read my blog you know I have signed up for WordPress’s Blogging University free courses. Something I do is I sign up for them and let them build up to at least five assignments so I could do them at once so I could schedule them. I do this with a purpose of if I can’t blog for a while you keeps you the reader interested. Also, I hope it brings in new readers or readers who haven’t read my blog in a while.

So, I worked on Everydaynspiration post and am waiting on the last three assignments for this course so I can write them and schedule it. I also worked on the first six Developingyoureye l course and did the first six assignments and up waiting on the last four assignments for this course. Each course only sends out one assignment a day so now I’m up to date on two of the four courses I can finish them as the assignments show up in email. Then that way I can focus on the last two courses and schedule them as well. I as a blogger want to make sure I keep you the reader interested. Of course I will write unscheduled blog post like this one as I don’t want my blog to bore people.

I think I should get going as I think my cat is trying to tell me its time to go back to bed. Thank you for reading blog. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!