Tag Archives: Grief

The Woes of the Days, So Far

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Well, it is just barely after twelve noon in my part of the world. Actually, to be exact it is twelve eleven in the afternoon to be exact.

I am having a moment of grief as I am blogging. I am miss my grandma. I miss everything about her especially the small things she would do for me. I love her so much and wish she was still alive. Reality is she is not going to rise from the dead.

Despite grieving over my grandma, I am doing okay at the moment. I can’t say that for one of my neighbors as they are appearing to be in crisis. A bad enough crisis that they had to go to the hospital to get evaluated. This person pulled the fire alarm several times since my last post. The fire alarm is annoying as hell but it is meant to be that way for folks to leaver their apartment. Yet, when the fire alarm is going off due to someone being in crisis it makes it harder to believe it is the real thing. I just wish the person wasn’t in crisis. Not because the fire alarm in annoying as hell but because being in crisis sucks shit.

Now, I am going to relax by reading my book. I am thrilled that I can get out of my head by reading especially a book I really enjoy. Having a book that is difficult to put down is a great problem to have.

Tanks you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I should be volunteering however I am still dealing with the grief of loosing my grandma. I miss her very much.

Besides dealing with grief all week, I’ve been busy. Busy doing attempting to be a productive individual in society. Society that expect me to be doing well but I am not or least not where I want to be.

The week started out with me meeting with Gilbert (now old therapist), my now old case manager and my new clinician. It was interesting. Interesting in the fact I am not sure how this is going to play out for me therapeutically.

I have also been reading my book off and on this week and am grateful to have the time to read. I am enjoying the book I am reading.

Most importantly I am starting up cross stitching again. It is helping me with my depression symptoms. Cross stitching and reading is something I have been doing most of the day as it’s even too rainy for us Seattleites.

Now I am going to watch movies from my childhood and binge eat on stack food. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Having A Tough Evening

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! As the title of my post suggest, I am having a tough evening. An evening full of depression and grief. I’m still grieving over the death of my grandma. It hasn’t even been a two months since she passed away and I miss her so much, more and more everyday.

Something that I have been doing to help myself is my DBT skills.  Specifically, I have been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. If you are a Fantasy and/or Science Fiction fan, you would enjoy the book. In fact it is the first book in The Liveship Traders Trilogy. 

I am a huge fan of book series. I am a fan of series because I really get into the world the author created as well as the characters. Sometimes I cry at the end of a series because saying goodbye to the world and character of the author’s creation is difficult for me to do. Yes, I know it is not real however sometimes you spend more time with the series than your own family.  Or at least for me it is true.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! This week has been an uneventful week. I did the usual stuff of going to see my case manager and therapist as well as going to groups. So more or less this week has been a focus of my recovery.

Wednesday also marked the one month anniversary of my grandma’s passing. It was a difficult day as expect. I saw Gilbert that day and we discussed a little bit about the grief I was dealing with.

Another thing I did this week was a great deal of DBT skills which included me doing some workbooks. It appears from my end that the workbooks have been of help to me a great deal. I know it is helping me with my recovery.

I am about to start my volunteer shift in about fifteen minutes and need to get going as the mentor on duty just arrived. He wants to check in with me to see how I am doing.

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!

Thin Mints Washing Away My Sorrows

Posted on by Gertie

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Good Evening, World!!! It has been one of them days. No matter what I do, I gain a little ground and then trip over the other shoe that finally dropped. Even though, I am struggling at this particular moment in time, I remember the things that give me hope like what I mentioned in my previous post.

I might be dealing with grief and loss from my grandma’s death as well as a trauma but I’m not harming myself which is a good thing. No, I don’t have urges to self harm but what I’m saying is that with the recent difficulties I am dealing with is that I could have some mental health symptoms that are more difficult than others to deal with.

Right now, I am eating a box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. It is quite soothing for me to treat myself to Thin Mints. Girl Scout cookies are only sold for a limited time once a year.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

No Matter How Difficult; Honesty Is Best

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a long and difficult day for me. I started out the day with seeing my case manager. We had some not so good moments that we ended up working out which is huge progress on my end.

I then went to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Group. Group grew from four individuals to ten people. Lets see how many stick around this time. We of course have homework and I am okay with that. The homework will be quite helpful for me as it will give me the structure I so desperately need.

After group I saw Gilbert. It was a tough session however it was toward the end of the session that was the most difficult. I was honest with him about something I hadn’t been honest with anybody else about. Something that desperately needed to be told and I might share at a later date when I process it more with Gilbert.

Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Gertie’s Grief

Posted on by mamabearraine

Gertie didn’t want me to post today however I am a person of my word. Gertie is dealing with grief of the death of their grandma. Gerties grandma died two weeks ago today. Please send out good thoughts and vibes Gerties was especially since the funeral is over with next Wednesday is Gerties birthday.

Yes, Gertie’s birthday is a week from today. They would be to happy with me however Gertie is like one of my own children to me.

Have a wonderful week and keep Gertie in your thoughts and vibes.

Crying Over My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I miss my grandma. In fact I am currently crying because I miss her so much. The funeral just made it so real that she is actually gone, I didn’t want to say goodbye. I love her so much and wish she was still here.

Reality is that she won’t be coming back. Reality is that grief is not going to be an easy thing for me. Grief is scary for me.

I should get going. Thanks for reading. It is much appreciated. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

The Funeral Went Well

Posted on by Gertie

My anxiety it still quite high even a few hours after the funeral ended. The service went well. I personally thought it was awesome. I miss my grandma so much. It’s so hard to say goodbye however I’m glad I went.

Now it’s time to start the long term grieving  process and not sure when or how that is going happen. I just know I’ll have the support when I start really grieving.

Thank you so very much for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. Goodnight!!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Today Is The Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Today is the day of my grandma’s funeral. I’m not sure I am doing at this current moment in time however I suspect I’ll become more emotional as the funeral time come closer.

I am looking forward to playing my flute at my grandma’s funeral. There is something about music that brings people together. My grandma always encouraged me to play my flute and never forced me to practice which made me want to practice just for her.

Thank you so very much for reading my blog. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!