The Pain is Too Much

Hello, World!!! I am struggling to type as the pain in my hand isn’t going away. In fact the swelling is getting worse. I am thinking I might need to go back to the Emergency Room (E.R) to get it rechecked as it is looking worse than it did this morning when I originally hit the brick wall. I have been using my coping skills to help with the pain or at least to try to help with the pain but it is not working. I think I am going to go back to the Emergency Room (E.R) as a precautionary thing.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Therapy + Comics = Good Session

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize I already told you little about my session today with my therapist in my last post (https://gertiesjourney.com/2018/04/17/thankfully-not-hospitalized/) but I would like to share a little more about it as I think it helped my therapist build a rapport with me. Besides talking about my parents and their addictions we discussed comics. We discussed comics because I wore a Wonder Woman t-shirt and hat today. I told my therapist that I collect Wonder Woman comics and then we ended up talking about comic book universes. My therapist is more into Marvel and I am more into DC even though we both like a little of both universes. My therapist asked if reading comics was in my crisis plan and something I do end stead of self harming and I said yes to both. We discussed how comics have played a major role in my recovery and he assigned me to read one comic book a day as part of some homework. Another part of my homework he wants me to create a coping skills tool box out of a shoe box even though I more or less have my backpack full of coping skills I use. He even gave me a shoe box to start it. He is having me do this because he knows I enjoy doing art and to help me think about my coping skills. He also wants me to write a page on how making the coping skills box made me feel and what my experience was making it.

I am grateful that my new therapist is coming up with creative ways to help me help myself. I may not like having therapy homework but I am grateful to have it as it gives me an opportunity to grow and continue with my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Thankfully, Not Hospitalized

Hello, World!!! There was an hour or two where I thought I could be hospitalized due to hitting a brick wall with my hand and thankfully it is NOT going to happen. Everyone was in agreement with me that the hospital would not be beneficial to me this time around. So, with everyone in agreement, I am not going to be admitted to the hospital.

My therapist and I discussed my self harm actions this morning and did what is called a chain analysis. If you’re familiar with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) then you know what I am talking about. It is hard for me to describe what one is but it is extremely helpful. My therapist and I also discussed my family. Specifically, my parents and their addictions to drug and alcohol. My dad is in active recovery while my mom is not in recovery whatsoever. We talked about how I learned from their mistakes and chose not to drink or use drugs. I told my therapist that I don’t need more issues on top of the ones I already have.

I’ll write more later. I am just really tired and in pain from hitting a brick wall. Thank you so very much for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Bored Half Out of My Mind, Waiting

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am bored have out of my mind as my therapist wants me to hang out in day treatment. He wants me to hang out in drop in as he converses with his supervisor on whether or not I need to be hospitalized for my self harm actions. I don’t think I need to be hospitalized as I was recently in the hospital. He doesn’t think I need to be hospitalized either but since he is relatively new he wants to make sure he is doing what he is best for me.

I think after I am done blogging, I’ll read. I am realizing that reading is helping with pain management  of my hand. Reading has been quite helpful for me in a number of areas for me. I am grateful that I have overcome the issues I had with reading when I was a child as I love reading.

I think I am going to go now as my hand is in pain. I’ll post more about my hand later. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

An Emergency Room (E.R) Post

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am sitting in the emergency room (E.R) in pain and typing with one hand as I hit a brick wall. I hit a brick wall because I was feeling high anxiety as well as fear. I was feeling his way because of PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that were and are quite overwhelming.

Symptoms that I will be discussing with my therapist today when I see him. I’ll also be discussing my self harm actions. Actions that need to be discussed as I didn’t reach out to anybody when I first had urges to self harm this morning.

I did attempt to use my DBT skills. First of all I blogged. After posting my last post I ended up reading my book. Both blogging and reading helped but I obviously needed to reach out to somebody and/or needed to use more skills so I wouldn’t have punched a brick wall.

I should get going as I am in the emergency room getting my hand looked at. I’ll post again later. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Good Morning, World!!! I write for a multiple reasons. Reasons, I had planned to write about and reasons that were unexpected. Let’s start by why I started my blog. I started my blog for two main reasons. The first reason was to help educate people who don’t have lived experience that folks like myself who do have lived experience can live a productive life. It may not be productive in the eyes of a “normal” person but productive from my perspective.

The second reason I started blogging was to give those who struggle with a mental health condition/challenge that there is hope in choosing to live in active recovery whatever that may look like to the individual reading. Yes, I’ve shared by heartbreak and struggles here but I’ve gotten up and wiped myself off and hope that what I share give those who have lived experience some sort of hope.

There were some unexpected reasons I blog. The first happens to be advocacy. I didn’t realize that I could advocate here on my blog. Advocacy is something I love to do and am proud that I am able to do it on my blog. The other unexpected reason I write is that I have found that it helps me with my own recovery. My recovery means the world to me.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of you because if it wasn’t for you the reader I would not be writing on this blog. Thanks, again. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I’m sitting here thinking to myself how I can can more readers. The only thing I can think of is to do another WordPress course. I am going to do one I have already done before as it was somewhat easy for me yet it gets me the readership I want. Maybe when I do Finding Your Everyday Inspiration I can use different tags as that will help me gain more readers. I’ve been blogging for nearly four years and I don’t have as many followers as I would like. Part of me is okay with this while the other part is not. It means I am not reaching as many people as I want.

My anxiety is acting up tonight which isn’t very helpful for me when my depression is acting up. I’m not sure why it is acting up but is. That is why I decided to read. It helped with the anxiety for a while. I think reading has helped me a great deal the last few weeks and I am grateful for that.

I am still figuring out ways to supplement my income. One way I am doing it is with the advertisements I have here on my blog. I’m thinking of other ways to earn money as well until I am able to go back to work. Not sure how else to it but thinking of ways.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been a Meh Monday

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a meh Monday. A Monday that included depression that wasn’t being helped by the weather. The weather has been dreary and rainy even for Seattle. You know its dreary and rainy when Seattleites  start complaining about it.

I discussed my depression with my therapist during our fifteen minute check in today. We came up with a plan on how I can combat the depression for today. Of course, going to art group was on the list of things to do. I also discussed that when I get home after art group that I could do some painting. Which I’ve already did one painting and planning on at least starting another one as I find it relaxing. We also came up with the idea of working on one of my workbooks. We also talked about making sure I am eating and staying hydrated as that can help me combat the depression.

The weather today is good reading curled up in your bed weather. Something I will be doing after I am done with this post. I am enjoying the book immensely.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t get any sleep once again. I’m getting frustrated with not being able sleep. All I want is to be able to sleep. I don’t think it is too much to ask for me to get a decent night of sleep.

As much as I want to go to sleep right now, I think it wouldn’t be wise as my sleep schedule would get even messed. Not only that I wouldn’t be able to follow through with the plans I made today. I plan on going to knitting group as I want to lean how to knit. I also plan on going to art group as you all know art helps me express my emotions.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World

 

Mr. Sandman Skipped Me, Again

Hello, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping once again. I’m getting frustrated with not being able to sleep. Sleeping is vital to one’s recovery or at least mine which is why I am wanting to be able to get a decent nights sleep.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been working on one of my workbooks. Actually, I think I’ll work on the mindfulness workbook as it might help me get into a wiser mind. Mindfulness has been helping me with a great deal of things like sleep.

After doing a workbook I think I’ll read a few pages in my book. I am really wanting to finish is soon. I have only been reading ten to twenty pages at a time due to lack of concentration from depression.

Depression sucks just as much as insomnia but that is why I am doing some things this next week to help with them. Things that I didn’t put in my Weekly Plans post as I realized that I could do the activities after I posted it. The activities that will help with the depression are peer run groups at a peer run community center.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!