Tag Archives: Mental Health

Sunday Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I am still pushing through the depression. Depression that appears to be lingering. Lingering a lot longer that I would like it but I know without shadow of doubt that all this will make me stronger in the long run. As I am fighting through the depression and realizing the strength I have, I at least have hope. Hope that I know things will get better. It may not feel like it at times but it will get better. I know things will get better because it has happened before.

As I think about when I was doing “well” I know it involved me working. Not working is not exactly helping my depression but I know that my new therapist will help me find the structure I need. That was very much apparent during our first appointment. He thinks me working would be beneficial for me and I agree.

Having a therapist who appears to be on the same page as me a good thing. I am hoping that I am not getting my hopes up to high about this as I tend to do that a great deal. I do like that fact that he has an “odd schedule” for working at a community mental health agency.

I think I’m going to go and listen to music while I work on one of my workbooks. I haven’t decided which one quite yet. It appears that music and my workbooks have been helpful for me the last few hours and that is a good thing.

Thank you for reading. Have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!

Grateful Even For Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’m sitting here grateful for the shit I have been through. Yes, even the negative and bad shit. I am grateful for it as it has made me who I am. Yes, my depression is still slightly acting up however I am still grateful. I am even grateful for the depression I am dealing with. I am grateful for it as it has helped shaped me as a person and made me stronger.

I realized this gratitude after journaling in my gratitude journal. I may not like to admit I am strong person but I am grateful that I am in space that I am able to do so on occasion. Being grateful in the face of difficult times is a huge success for me and my recovery.

Being grateful for my what I have is a good thing and Junior is telling me dinner is reading. We are having Lasagna. Junior makes some great Lasagna. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am feeling slightly better now that my apartment is clean. Having a clean apartment is helping with the depression but it’s still hanging over my head. As much as depression sucks shit, knowing what helps, helps subside the depression.

As challenging as my depression has been lately, making active decisions to stay in recovery is difficult yet well worth. Being in recovery is not easy but it is so much better than being miserable and not being in recovery.

Now that I am done cleaning, I am going to read. I am going to read Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am enjoying the book immensely. If you are into fantasy or science fiction fan then I highly recommend the book.

After reading I might work on a workbook. Not sure which workbook I will work on but I will work on one as I feel the need to focus on my recovery. It is a way for me to fight off the depression. Hell, reading is to.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am debating what I should have for breakfast. I’m thinking something simple like cereal. I think since its a dreary day I’m going to have some hot cereal and some hot tea while reading the news paper.

I am not liking the fact that by depression is acting up a little bit this weekend. I think part of it has to do with the weather. It’s been a dreary spring here in Seattle. On a positive note on the dreary weather its what makes Seattle and the rest of Washington so green and beautiful.

As my depression acts up I have to be more diligent in my recovery do what I need to do to push through it. It is not as easy as it appears when I write about it. It’s harder than hell to push through it. I push through it because it’s what I have to do to remain in recovery.

For me my recovery means the world to me. It’s what keeps me going and making the right decisions. Decisions that aren’t always easy to make. But everyone, whether they have a mental health diagnosis or not makes difficult decisions everyday.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Clean Apartment
  • Laundry

Monday

  • Blog
  • Art Group
  • Workbooks

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Workbooks

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Clean Apartment
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks

Friday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Workbooks
  • Day Treatment

Saturday

  • Lazy day

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am at a loss on what to say right now even though I have a lot on my mind. A lot on my mind because of everything that happened this past week. Not that any of it was bad. Just a lot happened.

Tuesday, I met with my therapist for our first one on one session. My new therapist appears to be cool. He is recovery minded and is in line with what I want to accomplish in regards to my recovery.

Wednesday, I had my job interview that went okay. In all honesty I won’t be let down if I don’t get the job as I don’t think the job would be a good fit for me to begin with.

Thursday, I met with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. She appears to be cool. She took me off of the Seroquel as I am on Abilify now. I’m just having even more trouble sleeping now.

I also got my taxes done on Thursday. I am getting more money back than I expected and am thrilled about that. Now I can pay a good portion of my credit card off.

That’s pretty much what I did this week. I mean my depression has been acting up and it sucks shit but all I can do is accept reality and push through it. It’s the only thing I can do right now. I can not let it get to me at the moment as if I do then shit can hit the fan quite quickly.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Attempting to Lessen the Depression Symptoms

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World or at least what is left of morning. I am feeling slightly better than my last post but I realize it is going to be one of them days I have to pay attention to what is going on symptom wise. Knowing that I am depressed means I need to make sure I do basic self care shit; like eat, take shower; you know that kind of stuff.

Besides focusing on basic self care stuff, I decided to work on one of the workbooks I am working on; The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook by Anneliese Singh. The chapter I am working on is having identify other identities we may identify as. An example of that is I am a person with live experience of a mental health diagnosis who is learning about Buddhism.  Working on this work book is challenging in a good way and helping me build up the confidence I want to have in my life.

Another thing I did was talking to my best friend of nearly 30 years. We talked for a couple of hours on the phone. It was a good conversation and am happy that we finally got to talk. She is one really good friend who has stuck by me during the bad times.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Saturday Morning Depression

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’ve been awake for several hours now. I am a wee bit depressed. Not sure what is causing it but I sure in the hell know that the crappy weather isn’t helping. I just wish I wasn’t dealing with the depression however it is a reality I have to deal with.

A reality that is having me focus on good self care as well as doing DBT skills. In fact I feel like my DBT skills are self care. Or at least a form of self care. I am needing do some self-soothing skills as well as some distracting skills.

One of the skills, I’ll be doing is drinking tea which is self soothing for me. Another skill I am going to use is read the news paper which is somewhat of a distraction skill for me. I know it seems like a weird combination to do at the same time but it helps me if I start my day out like that.

I am also going to be going to the mall with a friend today. I am not a big mall person but this is an “out of the box” thing my therapist wanted me to come up with. Going to the mall will be challenging for me but it will be helpful for me as well.

Something that I have already done to help with my depression as well as my anxiety is some meditation and mindfulness practices. Since I have been doing the mindfulness and meditation on the regular basis, I have noticed some lessening of the anxiety or least lessening of the intensity of the anxiety.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Early Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in the morning in my neck of the woods. Yes, I realize it is early but at least I got some sleep. I think I got about four hours of sleep. I, did however wake up from a nightmare. A nightmare that scared the shit out of me but thankfully I was able to get the support I needed from a friend.

After talking to my friend, I am now blogging. Pretty much I am blogging about whatever comes to mind at the moment. Hence the reason why my title is what it is.

As mentioned in a previous post, I checked in with my therapist yesterday (Friday). We discussed what I am going to do this weekend. I told him I don’t have much going except cleaning my apartment later on today (Saturday). We discussed a little about what I could for fun over the weekend. I came up with my usual stuff like reading, art and blogging. He encouraged me to do something out of the box for me. So, this is where I get stumped as this means going to the stupid mall or something like that. I informed my therapist that I could call a friend and spend a few hours with them at the mall. Apparently, his first impression of me was correct when he stated “You don’t appear to be a mall type person. Good job with thinking outside of the box with doing something different with a friend.” I told my therapist that he was right that I am not a “mall type person.” He chuckled and we continued to discuss what my weekend plans were. I hope I am not wrong on this but my therapist appears that he is good at what he does. Yeah, he may be a little timid but I think that is his personality.

I think I am going to spend most of the weekend reading. I am hoping to finish my book this weekend. No promises on finishing it but I am getting closer to finishing it. I love reading.

I don’t think I have anything else to ramble on about. Peace Out, World!!!

Yucky Weather + Depression = Reading

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am dealing with some increase of depression symptoms. Which is not a good thing because the weather is just yucky outside. Yucky weather doesn’t help with the increase of symptoms.

Since the increase of depressive symptoms and yucky weather I am going to read. Hell, it is perfect weather to be curled up in bed with a good book. A book to help me forget about my symptoms even though I know it is temporary.

In fact it was my therapist that suggested that I read. He works odd hours and I am okay with that as it appears that it fits what I need at the moment. He works five days a week and two of those days his hours are 9am to 5pm while the other three days are 12noon to 8pm. Today is one of those days he is in the office till 8pm. That is why I was able to talk to him this late.

I think I am going to take the suggestion to go and read. Thank you for reading. Have a great weekend and Peace Out, World!!!