Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Anxiety + Insomnia = No Sleep For Me

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep. Having anxiety doesn’t help the fact that I have insomnia and due to both sleep is a no go for me at the moment.

Long story short, my apartment building has a community patio and my apartment is right above it. I live on the second floor and of course the patio is on the first floor. Anyway, the same two neighbors have been constantly loud and noisy for hours on end nearly everyday of the week for two months now. I have complained about it to the apartment management and they can’t or won’t do anything about. I have called the Seattle Police non-emergency line on two occasions and due to the pandemic aren’t dealing with noise complaints at this time. So, it is starting to affect my anxiety big time. It bothers me that my neighbors don’t give a shit and that neither the apartment management nor Seattle police are doing anything about it. On a good note, I have emailed all my complaints so they are dated and time stamped and in three of the five complaints I mentioned it was effecting my physical and mental health as well as my disability. I informed them of this as a precaution to protect my ass. Thankfully, I am not the only neighbor bothered by the loud and noisy neighbors.

Another thing that probably isn’t helping with my insomnia is my part time job working at night. In fact it’s a twelve hour night shift. I like my job for the most part. I just don’t like it being twelve hours at night. I don’t do well with night shifts. Something I have done was apply for two jobs yesterday (Monday, May 18th, 2020) to work at local nonprofits. I also put in an application about a month ago at Costco. I am not holding my breath on any of the jobs especially at this point in time with Covid-19 going on.

One of the things that has been helping with the Covid-19 stay at home order is my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is such a lap cat who loves his belly rubbed. Billie also loves his two front paws massaged. I am beyond grateful for Billie and love him so much. I do miss my last cat Lil Gertie and think of her everyday. I talk to Billie about her. Billie love his cat tree and looking out the window. He appears to be entertained by the crows and squirrels which entertains me. If it wasn’t for Billie I am more than positive that my anxiety would be higher with my loud ass neighbors on the patio.

I don’t have much else to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my post. I hope everyone has a great rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Post About…..

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Governor Inslee decided to extend the stay at home order till May 31st. I have mixed emotions regarding the extended stay at home order but ultimately I am grateful that Governor Inslee is looking out for the most vulnerable people here are our lovely state of Washington.  Washington has be home for me since the mid 90’s and that doesn’t count whenever I visited my mom and brother every summer and holiday whiled on vacation from school. Looks like I have digressed some. Washington in my home and am grateful that Governor Inslee extended the stay at home order.

I can bitch and complain about the stay at home order all I want but it won’t do anything because it’s keeping it helps people like my dad who doesn’t have a great immune system. It even helps my extremely healthy 89 year old grandpa with staying at home. I am not able to see my family and most of my friend in person due to the fact that I am an essential worker. As much as I miss visiting friends and family, I am grateful for my essential worker status as it means I have a job I can work at.

A job that feels like family and am making some pretty good friends who are taking on the parent role but I am okay with that. At least I am okay with it for the time being. We are in the middle of a pandemic and somethings are worth the fight or at least at the moment. It is nice to have a work family who understands whats going on.

Since were are on the topic of family and friends, I miss the ones I volunteer with at PAWS Cat City. I miss going in helping find cat their furrever home but sadly Cat City is temporarily closed till this all over. Yes, the cats at Cat City went to the PAWS in Lynnwood and are being adopted out there along with dogs. I really miss volunteering at Cat City consider the people I volunteer with like family to me just like my colleagues do when I am at my paid work.

Speaking of cats my cat Billie Dean also fondly called Billie the Kat, is wanting be have help with writing this blog. I have some pictures of painting of wood that is protecting window of closed businesses here in Seattle. I hope to post those soon. By soon I mean Sunday night or Monday morning.

I was planning on writing more about how people are dealing with all this in regards to their mental health and recovery but right now my cat wants attention so I will write about that on Saturday night at work if I have time to do so.  I love my cat so much.

Sorry, I ending this post sooner that I had planned but thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Stay home and save lives by doing so. Peace Out, World!!!!

Long Time No Blog

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a quite a while since I last blogged and it looks like I am falling behind on my New Years goal of blogging on average of three times a week. I figured that now that this Covid-19 shit is going to keep me home at least another month that now is a good time to start blogging on the regular basis.

First and fore most lets talk about work. I am grateful that my work is considered an “essential job” according to the Washington Governor and am happy about that. Sadly and gratefully I only work one night a week as a shelter counselor at a homeless shelter for young adults ages 18 to 25. I love my job but worried about my health. I am grateful that upper management is making we employees are being taken care of.

As far as my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City, that has been put on hold because PAWS wants to look out for their volunteers and has suspended all volunteer activities. PAWS even temporally closed Cat City for the time being and all there cat adoptions are being done at their Lynnwood location. So, I really miss volunteering with the cats and seeing them get adopted. All adoptions are being done by appointment only for the time being. On the plus note, PAWS came up with a way volunteers can be of help from home if they so desire to do so. That is to call donors to thank them and I of course am going to be doing it. Calling people isn’t exactly my cup of tea but if it helps an organization I love then I am all for helping this way. It’s only twice a month for three months and hopefully by the end of three months, volunteers can be helping with adoptions again.

Being home with really nowhere to go except work I have been spending a lot of time with my cat Billie Dean. I love him so much. I am so grateful for him. I have also go a little stir crazy and needing some in person connection and since there is a stay at home order here in Washington, I have been attending various types of meetings on Zoom and am beyond grateful for this. Yes, it isn’t exactly the best way to connect but is sure is better than being completely cut of from any form of connection since I live alone.

Thank you for listening (or reading). I do not have much more to say. I hope to be blogging more since Covid-19 is having everyone stay at home. I really appreciated the fact that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a good rest of their day as well as their week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Cat That Has Me Reading

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is a Sunday evening in my corner of the world and it has been a relaxing Sunday for me. I came home from work and spent time with my new cat, Billie Dean before taking a nap. When I got up from a nap I had a snack before settling into a good day of reading.

I have noticed that when I have Billie Dean on my lap which is most of the time, it is a bit more challenging to have my laptop on my lap. With Lil Brooke I was able have both her and the laptop on my lap but with Billie Dean, not so much. It has made me realize how much I was on my computer before Billie Dean. I really didn’t need to be on the internet but sadly felt the need to be on whenever I was home. In a way it was and still in a way an addiction for me. Billie Dean is helping me with that and without even trying. He is being a real loving cuddle bug. A huge lap cat.

Since Billie Dean is such a lap cat I have come to realize, I have a great deal of reading to catch up on. So, I have been reading much of the afternoon and evening. Enough so that I forgot to eat a meal so as I write this blog, I have dinner in the oven. When I am done writing this I will go back to reading. When dinner is done cooking I will eat and then go back to reading. I really enjoy reading. It helps me get out of my head. Most importantly it helps me not be on the internet so much.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great week ahead. Try not to work too hard. Don’t forget to enjoy the little things life has to offer. Peace Out, World!!!

A Valentines Day of Grief

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Valentines Day, World!!! I have never been a big fan of Valentines Day because, why do you need a selected day to say “I love you.” Plus it adds added pressure to relationships to make sure the day is special which isn’t the best thing for relationships.

Despite the usual reason, I am not a big fan of Valentines Day is that my grandma died on Valentines Day of 2018. So, today marks the two year anniversary of my grandma’s death. She died due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease. My grandma fought hard for her life as well for those she loved especially her family. I miss my grandma so much but I know she is looking down on me as my guardian angel.

Billie Dean my new cat is helping me through today by just being himself. He is being the lovable, cuddly, talkative and playful self he is to be. I am so grateful that he chose me when he did. I love my Billie Dean.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday and Valentines Day. Peace Out, World!!!

Meet Billie Dean

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I wanted to let you know that I adopted a new kitty this past Thursday (February, 6th). His name is Billie Dean. He is five years old and will be six years old at the end of March. His age is just a guesstimate and the vet has agree with what the animal shelter said in regards to his age. Billie Dean is a whopping 14 pounds. He is a big boy. I am going to include pictures and add caption’s to it. I hope for those sight impaired that WordPress allows the your software to read the captions.

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Billie Dean laying on my dirty floor chilling and adjusting to his new home.

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Billie Dean on his first night. He is on my chest sleeping. It looks like he is giving me a hug.

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Billie Dean waiting patiently on the examination table for the vet to check him out for a post adoption check up.

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Billie Dean still chilling on the exam table at the vet’s office for post adoption check up. He turn his head and is looking toward Dr. B the vet as she was coming in.

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Billie Dean on my chest facing me. He is giving me the stare down wondering why I stopped petting him.

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Billie Dean on my bed wanting his belly rubbed. He is the only cat I know that loves his belly rubbed and for a good 20 plus minutes.

I love my new kitty and hope you have enjoyed meeting him. I hope to share more pictures in future post. Billie Dean also is a very talkative cat who loves to lay in your lap. Yes, I greatly miss my last cat, Lil Gertie but I am sure she was of help with adopting Billie Dean.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Mindful Monday Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is just another day in Seattle except it was a day I was able to see a friend I haven’t seen since the last day of school our freshman year of high school. She is here on a business trip and it was great to see this friend after nearly 25 years of not seeing her. The best part of seeing this friend was seeing her reaction the weather in Seattle today. Today’s Seattle report goes like this: Sun, Rain, More Sun, Snow, More Sun, Drizzle, More Sun which isn’t surprising to those of us who have lived here for quite some time. My friend asked me if this was “normal weather,” and my answer was “what you see is what you get” and then we both laughed. My friend said she wouldn’t be able to get use to weather like today and I said good we don’t need anymore people and we laughed again. It was nice seeing this friend and will be seeing her again tomorrow evening.

Now that I am home for the evening, I am missing my beloved cat immensely. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about my cat, Lil Gertie. I will be getting another kitty, eventually. My therapist wrote a letter as well as filled out the proper paperwork for me to turn into my landlord to be able to get approved for a reasonable accommodation for an emotional support animal (ESA). My new therapist concurs with my previous therapist that having an animal around for me would be helpful for my recovery. I have to agree that having a cat is quite helpful for my mental health recovery. So, once I get an emotional support animal approved by my landlord I will be getting another kitty.

Having an emotional support animal is just one of many ways to help me with my recovery. Another way to help me with my recovery is to listen to some mindfulness meditation twice daily. This has helped me with my anxiety as well being able to be more focused on what I need to do in the moment and for the day.  Now on something else that is a type of meditation for me.

That is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. There is something meditative about Bob Ross and his paintings. I am able to be mindful watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I will be attempting to paint what he does but I am sure it won’t look like

Friday Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! Well, it is still Friday in my corner of the world. Fridays are the days I stay up all night so I can sleep all day on Saturdays. I sleep all day on Saturdays because I work a twelve and a half hour shift on Saturday nights. Overall, I enjoy my job even though I am going to start actively look for a new job. The reason why I am actively looking for a new job is because my current position at work is a night shift and the day shift positions at my current employer are ones that I most likely wouldn’t enjoy.

On another note the snow is now gone in Seattle. Well, mostly gone depending on where in the city you are in. I am grateful it is gone. I am not the biggest fan of the snow or the cold. The snow even had both PAWS in Lynnwood and PAWS Cat City close on Tuesday with limited staff and volunteers so my shift as well as the later shift didn’t need to go in due the early snow closer I was sad about it.

Despite being sad about not being to volunteer for my regular shift on Tuesday, I was able to pick up a shift on Thursday. I was able to shadow a couple of experience volunteers with the adoption process which made me happy to see cats get adopted. In fact four cats got adopted and was happy to be able to see it from the other side as I remember being the adopter when I was adopting Lil Gertie. So experiencing as a volunteer was awesome. Granted I was only observing due to the fact I am new and still learning the ropes. The two shift I have done at PAWS Cat City have been awesome and am beyond grateful for the opportunity to volunteer.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Snow, Snow Go Away

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is snowing here in Seattle and I want the snow to go away. I personally don’t like the snow as it means it is way too cold outside for me. I am originally from Southern California and have never been a fan of snow. I have gotten use to the dreary weather here in Seattle but I don’t think I can ever get use to snow and colder weather.

The only thing I had to do today was go get my meds. Thankfully, I all I needed to get to the pharmacy was use my own two feet as my pharmacy is within walking distance for me. I wish I didn’t have to pick up my meds twice a week and completely understand why I have to. I am hoping my psychiatric nurse practitioner will change back to weeklies. I would prefer monthly but will be okay with weekly.

Even though I didn’t have to volunteer today, I did so as I was asked to come in as they were short handed due to the snow and I live in walking distance of PAWS Cat City so it was easy for me to get there. There is only one cat a Cat City at the moment so I basically cleaned and spent time with the only kitty. The cat is a senior kitty and is sweet as sweet can be. My regular shift is tomorrow and am looking forward to it.

Other than getting my meds and happily volunteering unexpectedly, I read. I started reading a book that I started reading a while ago but never finished. So, I started from the beginning and am hoping to finish it by the time Emerald City Comic-con happens as the author is going to be there. I love reading and comic-cons and how the can be combined.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank everyone for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone in the Seattle area stays safe during this snow. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

SUNDAY

  • Take nap when I get home from work. (Yes, I am still at work)
  • Do some art
  • Have dinner with friends
  • Work on workbooks

MONDAY

  • Go to DSHS to sort out the food stamp situation. (That’s if it doesn’t snow)
  • Do some art
  • Lunch with a friend who lives in my building
  • Get meds
  • Work on workbooks

TUESDAY

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City. (Looking forward to having some kitty time.)
  • Attend work meeting in the evening. (Hoping for snow so I can use it as an excuse to not attend.)
  • Work on workbooks

WEDNESDAY

  • Sleep in
  • Lunch with my grandpa. (I love spending time with my grandpa.)
  • Do some artwork.
  • Work on workbooks
  • Clean apartment

Thursday

  • See therapist
  • Attend DBT Group. (Hopefully it doesn’t get cancelled for any reason.)
  • Work on workbooks
  • Do some art work.

FRIDAY

  • Do some art work
  • Work on Workbooks
  • Clean apartment
  • Visit with my grandpa

SATURDAY

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night