Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Finally Took a Shower

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally took a shower. It only took forever and a day for me to psych myself up to take a shower. The things that helped me take a shower was eating lunch and going for a two mile walk. Eating helped a great deal as it gave me the energy to actually take a shower. The two mile walk helped me clear my head to get into a good head space to talk myself into taking a shower. I am really grateful that I ate lunch, took a walk and finally got into the shower. So, I have done some good self care so far today.

I don’t have much more to write about. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a good Monday and work week. Peace Out, World!!!

In Desperate Need of a Shower

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am in desperate need of a shower as I haven’t showered since last Wednesday. I have a couple of ideas of why I haven’t showered and one of them is that my depression is starting to creep back in. The other idea is more or less me being in “fuck it mode” due to something I rather not discuss at the moment. I know taking shower will be extremely helpful in regards to feeling somewhat better.

Not only have I not been showering, I have been in isolation mode. I have been managing to not isolate by hanging out with neighbors as well as going for walks. I do need to start reaching out to friends who don’t live in my apartment building because if I don’t my depression will get worse and I will end up isolating from everyone including my neighbors.

The one thing I was going to do ended up being cancelled because the person is on vacation and failed to inform us last week. I was suppose to attended art group today and it sadly was cancelled the last minute due to a communication failure of the group leader. I was really looking forward to attending art group as I know it would have helped me not isolate as well as to motivate me to take a shower.

On a good note, I have taken my morning walks which I think is my saving grace at the moment. I think my morning walks are great form of self care for me and a good way to start my day. I even do an evening walk to clear my head from whatever type of day I may have had. Taking the two walks a day have been quite beneficial for me and my mental health.

Doing good self care, no matter how small, is something that I benefit from. Sometimes it is difficult for me to do self care due to depression. In fact doing good self care is something I make an effort to do as I want to be an example of what recovery looks like.

I don’t have much more to write about in this post except that I will end up taking a shower at some point today. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good Monday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write because of the fact that people still need hope that recovery from a mental health challenge is possible and in hopes that people who don’t have a mental health challenge, that I show them that we who suffer from a mental health challenge are just like everyone else. I hope to help in the stigma that goes along with mental health challenges.

When I initially started to blog, I wrote in hopes to help in the stigma that goes with having a mental health diagnosis as well as to be a beacon of hope to those who do have a mental health diagnosis that recovery is possible. I still write for the above mentioned reasons. I, however didn’t realize until a year into blogging that is therapeutic for me to write about my mental health challenges so that is yet another reason why I continue to write as well as blogging.

I really do enjoy writing on my blog and hope that it helps others just as much as it helps me. I really do appreciate those who read my blog as if it weren’t for my regular readers I don’t think I would continue writing on my blog.

A Fun & Relaxing Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is ten o’clock at night in my corner of the world. I am tired as hell as I did not sleep at all last night and have not been able to take a nap today. Despite being tired due to the lack of sleep I did have a pretty good day.

First and fore most I spent some time with my friends. We went out to lunch and it was great. We had some pretty big plates of food that we were able to share with each other and still bring home some leftovers. I ended up getting some spaghetti which was pretty tasty.

After lunch my friends and I ended up going shopping. We went to several thrift store. I ended up buying myself a beer mug stating “Cheers to 40 Years,” I bought this because I will be turning forty on Thursday. I also bought me a bowl for cereal and two pairs of pajama pants. I included a picture of the things I bought. It featured below

IMG_0443 When I got home from lunch and I shopping I worked on a painting that I started yesterday. I would take a picture of it however I am not ready to show it yet as it is still in the beginning stages of the painting. I love being able to paint as it relaxes me and helps express what I am feeling when I can not express my emotions with words.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my post as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a great rest of your Sunday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

All I Want Is Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have not slept all night and it is now eleven o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. At this point in time attempting to go to sleep will be useless as I have plans with friends to go eat lunch. Hopefully, after lunch with my friends, I can try to get a nap in.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was going to binge watch a couple of television shows. I did binge watch a couple of television shows. I watched the Big Bang Theory and laughed my ass off. It feels good to be able to laugh.

Something else that I did to keep myself busy due to insomnia was art. I finished one painting that I will be giving to a friend for his birthday on Friday. I also started another painting and so far it is coming along nicely with a bit of a twist. I also did some coloring.

I, of course read some comic books. Specifically I read Wonder Woman comic books. I am in desperate need to catch up to the latest issue of Wonder Woman. I have been reading and collecting Wonder Woman comic books since I was five years old.

When I was doing some art and reading Wonder Woman comic books, I was listening to music. Music tends to help me be in the creative mind as well as to help me focus on things. In fact as I am writing this post, I have my music on. Currently, I am listening to my Recovery playlist on Spotify. Music tends to soothe my soul and heal my soul at the same time.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I really should start getting ready to go to lunch with my friends as it is eleven o’clock in the morning and we are leaving to go to lunch at twelve noon. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

As I mentioned in a previous post last night (Saturday), I am starting to post my weekly plans again on Sundays. Well, it it Sunday and time for me to post my weekly plans.

My weekly plans are as follows:

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Lunch with friends
  • Household chores
  • Binge watch a television show

Monday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Art group
  • Get weekly meds
  • Laundry

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Therapy
  • Appointment with employment specialist

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Open Communication group
  • Schedule a time to get my taxes done

Thursday

  • Happy 40th Birthday to me
  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • DBT Group
  • Birthday Dinner with friends

Friday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Word nerds group
  • Belated birthday dinner with family

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Meditation and Mindfulness practice
  • Workbook
  • Household chores
  • Binge watch a television show

A Sleepless Night In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having another sleepless night in Seattle due to insomnia. I wish I knew how I could get some sleep besides the typical stuff I already do. It is just frustrating as hell that I can not sleep. Not being able to sleep on the regular basis sucks and no matter what I try it may or may not help.

So, I have been watching television since my last post. I started out binge watching the Umbrella Academy as I really like this show. I realized that it was time of Saturday Night Live (SNL) and decided to watch SNL as comedy and humor help me get to sleep. After trying to sleep for about an hour after SNL got over with. After an hour of trying to sleep I decided to binge watch the Big Bang Theory. I love the show as it is hilarious.

Humor and comedy some how helps me with a great deal of things in my life. One of which is sleep. Another way humor helps is that it gets me to thinking in a more positive light and that is always a good thing. Laughter is in my opinion the best medicine.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday. I am going to attempt to get some sleep once again as it is just past three in the morning in my corner of the world. Have a great Sunday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Getting Back In The Habit

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is me again. I did end up fixing some spaghetti for dinner and invited my friend from across the hall from me in my apartment building over. My friend was extremely grateful for the invite, the food and the company. We discussed a lot of topics. One which is crucial for my mental health and that is structure. As we discussed structure it occurred to me that I need to blog more and make sure it is scheduled into my day. In fact I brought up my blog to my neighbor and how I need to schedule it into my daily life. He a great suggestion of having an accountability partner and he offered to be my accountability partner for my blog and I his accountability partner for him exercising.  So, not only did I have great company for dinner, it turned into something that will be helpful for me in regards to my blog and mental health, an accountability partner.

So, now that I had time to do the dishes and to think about how to get back into the habit of blogging on the regular basis, I realize that if I do one of WordPress’s courses, it would and will be helpful. I know this from past experiences. I am planing on doing a course I have already done and plan on starting it on Monday. I plan on doing the course “Finding Your Everyday Inspiration.” It is a twenty day course and I have been told that it takes at least twenty one days to create habit. Some studies say it can take sixty days to create habit but the twenty day course will help me either way with creating a habit of blogging on the more regular basis.

Another thing I will start doing in regard to blogging is doing a Weekly Plans post every Sunday and a Weekly Check-In every Saturday. The Weekly Plans will start tomorrow (Sunday) and the Weekly Check Ins will start back up on Saturday March 9th. When I did this in the past I found it helpful for my mental health as well as keeping you my reader interested in continuing to read my blog.

I don’t have much more to say about my plans to blog more as many of you have hear this before from me. The only difference this time around is that I have an accountability partner. Oh yeah, I am also scheduling it and putting it into my calendar. I hope this time I actually follow through with it and hope you all can hold me accountable as well.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I appreciate each one of you for reading. Thank you again for reading my blog. Have great rest of you Saturday night. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been A Surprisingly Peaceful Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a beautiful sunny yet chilly day here in Seattle. In fact it was such a beautiful day I went on a walk at the Arboretum here in Seattle. It was beautiful as always. I, unfortunately forgot my camera to take pictures with. I guess, I could have used my phone but the pictures wouldn’t be the same.  While at the Arboretum, I did some mindfulness and meditation practices. Much needed meditation and mindfulness exercises. I forgot how helpful they are and doing them while being in the fresh air and beauty was that much more rewarding.

When I got home after my time at the Arboretum, I decided to listen to music. I listened to the music so loudly that a neighbor asked me to turn it down. My music is normally not turned up so high it bothers my neighbors. The loud music was extremely therapeutic for me while it lasted. Yes, I did turn down my music and continued to enjoy the music I was listening to.

After spending a couple of hours listening to music, I decided to visit with some neighbors in my building who I have been good friends with. We chit chatted for about an hour and then play a couple of games for another hour or two. It was nice to get together with friends and just hang out.

All in all today has turned out to be a surprisingly peaceful day. A day that started out with me ruminating and worrying about something I really have no control over even though I know I am telling the truth. I think I am now going to fix some spaghetti and invite a friend over who happens to be a neighbor that lives in my building. Food and friendship is always a good thing. I want my day to continue to be peaceful.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday evening. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s the Little Things That Will Help

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am not sure how to feel or what to think. As I mentioned in a previous post that I posted on February 26th, I had a meeting with the supervisor of the peer run help line I volunteer at. I was informed that someone that sound like me has been calling the peer run help line and well as the crisis line. I inform them that it wasn’t me and gave them a list of why it wasn’t me. The supervisor then said I could volunteer again on my regular shifts of Saturdays. I get an email yesterday (Friday) telling me to “hold off” as they “investigate.” I understand where this person is coming from as you don’t want a call taker answering phones on help line if they are not doing well themselves. If I were calling these help lines I would have admitted to the supervisor however I didn’t call them and feel like I am being punished. I also feel like I am not being believed and that feeling comes from the trauma I suffered as a child. The thing that frustrates me the most is this person said I could come back and then said to hold off as they investigate. I really like volunteering on the peer run help line and it has helped me a great deal to remain recovery focused and if I loose this gig because of something the folks at this organization think I am doing something I am not doing then I will be extremely hurt. Like I said I understand where the supervisor is coming from however I know without a shadow of doubt that I am NOT calling in. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be surprised if the supervisor reads my blog if they remember I blog. I mention as they are trying to figure out if I am stable enough to volunteer. Now, I am starting to sound a little paranoid but I really want to volunteer at this peer run help line as it has been quite helpful for me to remain focused on my own recovery. As you can tell this specific topic is causing me to have conflicting emotions and I need to use some of my skills.

On to another subject that isn’t so emotional for me, the weather. It is a beautiful sunny day here in Seattle. It may be sunny outside but it sure is colder than hell. I am not a big fan of the cold weather. Despite the chilly weather outside, I think part of my plan for today is to take two extra walks. I usually walk twice a day for a least a mile for each walk. However, I think today I will put in two extra walks, walking a least a mile. It is a beautiful yet chilly day here in Seattle and since the plans I had for this evening were pretty much cancelled, I have time for two extra walks.

I think another thing I will do is read comic books. I really need to catch up on the latest Wonder Woman comic books as I have fallen behind in reading them. If you have been reading my blog for a while you are well aware of that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I started reading and collecting Wonder Woman comics since I was in Kindergarten. Wonder Woman comics have been one of the constants in my life. One of the things I turn to on both the good and the bad days.

Something else that comes to mind that is a no brainer for me to do today is spend some quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I am one hundred percent sure that she has been picking up on the emotions I have been dealing with in regards to the volunteer job. Lil Gertie has been cuddling more than she usually does. She tends to do this when my emotions are starting to get the better of me and it helps a great deal. I love my cat so much.

Another thing I am planning on doing in place of volunteering tonight is watching The Umbrella Academy. I am really enjoying the show. I am hoping I can binge watch the rest of the show before the end of the weekend and if I can’t I hope to finish it before I see my therapist on Tuesday.

One last thing I plan on doing is reaching out to friends. Talking to friends has always been helpful to me. Plus it helps me not focus on my own problems. Friends have a way of helping you out even when they don’t realize they are helping you out.

As you can tell, it is a bunch of little things that will help me through all the various emotions I am feeling today. Sometimes it is all about the small things. Small things that can brighten someone’s day. And sometimes you have to create the small things to help brighten your own day.

I don’t have much more to say in this already long post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you have beautiful weather go out and enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!