Tag Archives: Therapist

Tired As Hell

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am still tired as hell from last night with no sleep.I did get a two hour nap in when I came home from day treatment. I was a little disappointed that Art Group was cancelled today as I was looking forward to it.

When I was at the mental health agency I am a client of for day treatment, I ended up talking to the therapist who was the crisis clinician on call for the day during business hours. I talked to her for about twenty minutes and came up with a safety plan. After about twenty minutes my own therapist was available to talk with me for about another fifteen minutes. We continued to safety plan. We discussed a little about what happened at the hospital yesterday.

Anyway, after coming home from day treatment, I played with my cat for about an hour before she got annoyed and wanted to be alone. I ended up taking a nap and guess who joined me for my nap. That’s right, my cat Lil Gertie.

I still feel like self harming and after I am finished with this post, I plan on going to the hospital again. I am going because I am not feeling safe with myself and the injuries that accrued from another patient last night are getting worse and want to get them checked out again.

Yes, I have used my DBT skills. One of the skills I used was my art work. I did a great deal of coloring with my new colored pencils and coloring books. I also did some collaging. I actually added some of the collaging to some of the paintings I did over the weekend.

Before I end this post, I am going to ask you again to do me a huge favor. I have advertisements on my blog. If you click on the advertisements and let them fully load, I can earn anywhere from a few cents to a few dollars. I figure each add clicked will be helpful for me to buy gifts for people I love for the holidays which ever holiday they celebrate.

As I end this post, I want to reassure you that I will be safe as I am taking myself to the hospital. Mainly to get my injuries looked at that happened yesterday at the hospital but also to help keep myself safe from myself with having urges to self harm. Again, I will be safe as I take myself to the hospital. Who knows maybe I will be able to take a little nap in while getting checked out at the hospital as I am still tired as hell.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end. I hope that I am not worrying any of you with how things are going with me as of lately. I do feel like things are starting to slightly improve which is a big deal for me. Again, thank you for reading and I hope to update you when I get up from the hospital and if I don’t I hope to update you tomorrow. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

UGH!!! Not Another F*cking Fire Alarm

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, once again, World!!! Right after I posted my last post, the fire alarm went off once again. This time another neighbor decided to cook while doing drugs. So this is the second time the fire alarm went of due to someone cooking while doing drugs today and the fourth time the fire alarm went off because the first two times the fire alarm malfunctioned.

Due to the lack of sleep due to the assault that happened to me at the hospital yesterday as well as the fire alarm going off multiple time for different reasons, I might not go to art group early this afternoon. I have been triggered way too many times within the last eighteen hours to even think about going to art group even though I really want to attend art group.

I emailed my therapist last night to get a hold of me at some point today as he gets into the office at some point after twelve noon. Hopefully, he will listen to my voicemail as well as well as read my email and will get back to me today even though I see him tomorrow (Tuesday).

I also emailed my doctor this morning in hopes she gets it at some point today to see if I need to see her this week in regards to my hand and black eye that I received from another patient at the hospital last night (Sunday) instead of my regular appointment with her next week. My doctor is pretty cool.

I do have to say that my therapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, doctor and the social worker at my doctors office are all pretty cool and in the loop about both my physical and mental health. It is great to have a great health care team even if they are not at the same facility or agency.  I am happy that they keep in communication with each other.

I hope I am able to get some sleep so I can be able to attend art group at one this afternoon. I don’t want to be a cranky bucket if I got to art group. Art really helps me express my emotions especially after multiple triggering moments in a short period of time.

Thank you so very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I think I am going to go and attempt to take a nap as I really want to attend art group this afternoon. I hope everyone has a great work week and those who don’t work I to wish you a great week. Happy Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Finding Ways To Get Out of This Slump

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! For some unknown reason I am struggling this morning. I had a good night of sleep and have had breakfast. Usually a good nights sleep with a good meal helps with the better moods yet that doesn’t seem to be the case at the moment.

I am not sure what I am going to do to combat the struggles I am dealing with at the moment. I think I am going to spend time with Lil Gertie, my cat, because she is able to keep me grounded a good portion of the time.

I think after I am done blogging, I will email my therapist and let him know that I am struggling for some unknown reason. I think he would be appreciative that I am letting him know that I am having a rough moment.

I think after emailing my therapist about this slump that I am in, i am going to do some baking. I think I’ll back some brownies and a cake. Baking will give me something to do and most importantly, I’ll be able to share it with other people. To me being able to give things away especially stuff I have made gives me a sense of joy.

I need to get going. I think emailing my therapist would be the most helpful to me in the moment. Then on to the baking. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Labor Day Randomness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Today is a national holiday here in the United States called Labor Day so to everyone in the U.S, Happy Labor Day. It is a long weekend for many Americans due to it being Labor Day and we have Unions to thank for Labor Day here in the U.S.

As I speak of Labor Day, I can’t help but think about me being unemployed at the moment and looking for a new job. I have a job interview tomorrow. The interview is for a shelter counselor position with homeless young adults. The job is only twelve hours a week but I am okay with that. I also have a potential interview for an peer position later this week.

I don’t have much planned today. I will be spending some of the day with my dad and uncles. We are going out to lunch later. It is nice to spend time with family. We are most likely going to a local mom and pop restaurant but I am not a hundred percent sure yet.

I am still dealing with a huge wave of grief over my grandma passing this past Valentines Day. It’s hard to believe that it has been almost seven months since her death. I have been talking with my therapist a great deal about my grief regarding my grandma.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Missed My Therapy Appointment & Other Random Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Let’s start at the beginning with me not getting much sleep. I will refer you to my last two post regarding the lack of sleep even though it did turn into a fun time.  Due to the lack of sleep, I fell asleep and missed my appointment with my therapist. He appeared to be understanding. We rescheduled our appointment for Monday at eleven in the morning. Which gives me plenty of time to be able to do last minute packing and say goodbye to Lil Gertie, my cat, for a couple of day due to going to a conference that is geared toward individuals who work in the mental health field as Peer Specialist/Counselor. My therapist thinks it “awesome” that I am going to the conference. He thinks it would help me with the symptoms of my mental health challenges.

Since I brought up the peer conference I am attending, I am looking forward to it just like I did this year.  I even got a scholarship for the attendance fee of the conference as well as one for the hotel I am staying at. Food is included with the conference fee. The only thing I have to pay for is travel which is easy for me since all I have to do is use my bus pass to use the Light Rail. So more or less the entire conference is free for me due to the scholarship. Part of the reason I am getting a scholarship is because I am helping volunteer again this year. I will be able to go to the sessions just like last year so I will be learning stuff again. I love getting some education when I can even when it is at a conference.

Since I am going to be gone for the conference for a few days, I do have a couple of babysitters to take care of my cat. My friend (who is a neighbor) will look after Lil Gertie, my cat on Monday evening as well as Wednesday morning while my grandpa will take care of her (my cat) on Tuesday around noonish. I have my basis covered when it comes to people taking care of Lil Gertie (my cat). And I don’t just trust anyone to take care of Lil Gertie.

I have loads more to share but I will blog again later on. I also hope to blog about the conference when I have time to do so. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative on my end of things. Peace Out, World.

A Five Hour Nap & I Am Still Sleepy

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is just post eleven o’clock at nigh in my corner of the world. I fell asleep for a much need five or so hour nap. I just hope I can get back to sleep so I will be able to sleep through the night. My cat woke me up wanting her litter box cleaned out and most importantly to be fed her wet can food even though she has plenty of dry food to eat. Now that the kitty chores are done, I hope to go back to bed after writing the post.

On a plus note I got a call today regarding a job for a peer position. Still waiting for an email from the lady with full details about the interview but at least I know when and where it is going to be. I just need confirmation on the address and who it is going to be with.

As for the shelter counselor job the person finally emailed me back and informed be it might not be to the end of the week till I find out when I my interview with them is going be. At least she finally got back to me regarding why no interview has been set up yet.

I am still really from the roller coast ride of grief I had today regarding missing my grandma. The grief hit me extra hard today. I am not sure why but it did. I was able to talk to my therapist for a little bit regarding the grief over the phone today and that was quite helpful to me.

Thank you for reading my post. I hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope I can get back to sleep after a five hour nap and it being just after eleven o’clock at night in my neck of the woods. Thank you again for reading. Have a good night’s sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Attempted To Go Back To Sleep But A No Go

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, again, World!!! I attempted to go back to sleep and was unsuccessful at it. I might as well as start my normal daily routine. Right now that includes having a cup of tea and reading the news paper. As always, there is never anything good in the news however having this morning routine gives me a since of accomplishment. It gives me something to do to start my day out.

At this moment in time I am a little worried about my health as my doctor wants me to see her every two weeks. I know she is doing it to be preventative so I am not going to the Emergency Room as much but it still worries me. She is also doing it to help be preventative with my mental health symptoms as well. I have had my doctor for nine years now and this is the worst she has seen me mental health wise even though my mental health symptoms are slowly improving.

My therapist will now being seeing me twice a week instead of once a week. It is kind of a similar way to the way my doctor is thinking, to try to keep me from using the Emergency Room too much. Plus, my therapist wants to get deeper into the things that are really bothering me like trauma related things. I don’t know if I like the idea of going deeper into things but if it ultimately helps me and my mental health then I am willing to give it a try.

Right now I need to get my mind off of things so I think I am going to go take a shower which always make me feel better. I will also have some breakfast because food is always a good thing for both your health and mental health.

After taking care of some basic needs I think I will do some good self-care things for myself before I go to my volunteer job. One way I will do some self care is by doing some art. Specifically, I will be doing some painting. After doing some painting, I’ll be doing some reading. I will be reading the fantasy novel as well a comic books. Reading helps me a great deal to get out of my own head and forget about the depression I am struggling with at the moment.

As much as my depression sucks, going to my volunteer job this evening will be quite helpful for me. It will help me focus that my problems aren’t as bad as others. Volunteering helps me get out of my own head. Helping others always helps me be in a better head place.

Now that I am done boring you half out of your mind, I will end this post for now. Thanks so much for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Have a good Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been A Long Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As many of you know I have had a long day. It didn’t really turn out as planned but that is okay for me. It started when I saw my doctor this morning to look at my weird ass mouth infection. She gave me some more antibiotics.  We also discussed how long I have been seeing her and her concern that I could be over using the hospital’s which is valid. So I’ll be seeing her every two weeks just for checks about physical health stuff and if needed mental health stuff as well. Which I am okay with.

I then saw my trusty therapist who is trying his best to gain my trust and it is slightly working. We discussed ways on how I can change certain behaviors and how he can help me with that. He now wants to see me twice a week to help me with my behaviors and help me not use the Emergency Rooms as much for both physical and mental health reasons.

Plans changed when my grandpa picked me up to go to Red Robin. We decided that he would take me to a walk in dental clinic and get a comprehensive dental check up. He paid for it. Looks like that I will need to get all my teeth pulled and get a full set of dentures which is not surprising for me. So next week, I am going to the DSHS office to get some paper work straightened out as it appears I am loosing some things due to a computer and/or human error. So hopefully, I’ll be able to get back on medicaid so I can get my teeth fixed.

My grandpa and I did go out to eat to IHOP but it surely was no Red Robin. Hopefully, we can go to Red Robin soon. I love Red Robin. I think we might go to Red Robin on Sunday.

As far as getting an interview with a potential employer, I am still waiting to hear back. I think it is ridiculous that they haven’t even set one up with me yet when I informed them that the time they gave me I was unable to do so due other obligations. I gave them dates and times when I was available next week and the person said they would get back to me by the end of Friday which is today.

Thank you again for reading my blog as I ramble on about different shit. Have a good rest of your Friday and I hope you enjoy your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Just A Boring Ole Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am sitting here still in disbelief. Disbelief that the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) therapist is retiring and I have been asked to be a “surprise guest” at one of her retirement parties. As a “surprise guest” I will be giving a small speech to how this therapist has been influential in my recovery process. Especially, since she was the therapist I had when I first made an active decision to be in recovery.

As I am in disbelief about being a “surprise speaker” I have to admit that at this moment in time my depression is acting up. I know that it partly has to do with the crappy weather while it also has to do with poor sleep due to insomnia. I know ways to prevent the ways to make sure it doesn’t get worse and that is using my DBT skills. Skills that will help me get through this depression.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A Good Yet Draining Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an emotionally draining day. I saw my therapist today and our session was emotionally draining. He picked up on the fact I didn’t want to discuss the recent death of a neighbor as dealing with death is difficult for me. Hell, dealing with death is difficult for everyone. Or at least everyone that I know of. We discussed my DBT homework as well. We discussed what behavior I was working on regarding my DBT homework and my therapist liked the idea that I wasn’t waiting for the last minute to do my DBT Homework. He is also going to be assigning me homework but is unsure what he is going assign me as homework and will let me know tomorrow.

Overall, it has been a great day. I got home from therapy and Lil Gertie has been by my side giving me support. I have also been working on one of my workbooks which has been quite helpful with making my day a little bit better. I have also talked with friends and had dinner with two of them. It’s always nice to be able to talk to and/or spend time with friends who care.

I think I am going to be doing some art work. Specifically painting. I will be painting on canvas as well as in one of my scrap books. I love being able to do art work. Art helps me a great deal. It helps me express my emotions on what I am unable to get out verbally.

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!