Looks Like No Sleep For Me

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I am having trouble sleeping once again. Which is no surprise to me. I suspect that recent trauma as well as insomnia are the culprits once again.

It looks like I will be doing what works best for me to help with the anxiety I deal with when I am unable to sleep.  Tonight I think I’ll read. I am not sure if I’ll be reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb or Wonder Woman comic books. I’m most likely going to end up reading both.

Another thing I am most likely going to do if I have yet another sleepless night is my workbooks. Most likely the mindfulness workbook as I did my other workbook last night. Mindfulness has been quite helpful for me and my recovery.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is 5:30 in the morning in my part of the world. I still haven’t been able to get to sleep which is quite annoying for me.

I have spent most of the night working on my workbooks. Workbooks that deals with my gender identity as well as a workbook dealing with mindfulness. Both workbooks are quite helpful to me. I like the fact that I can do workbooks as part of my recovery process. Some folks look down on doing workbooks as part of ones recovery and in a way I understand however I don’t supplement it for therapy as I go to therapy on the regular basis. I am just grateful that I am able use the workbooks to assist with my recovery. I actually discuss what I do in the workbooks with my therapist. In fact most workbooks actually suggest that you do so.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping once again. Insomnia sucks shit. I think part of it has to do with a recent trauma I experienced however insomnia is nothing new for me.

I think I am going to do one of my workbooks. I just don’t know which one I want do after I am done blogging. I don’t know if I should do the one on Mindfulness or the one about Resiliency and Gender Identity/Sexual Orientation. Both would be quite helpful to me at the moment. I think I’m going to flip a coin for this one and choose that way.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Art
  • Read
  • DBT homework
  • Pretty much be lazy

Monday

  • Blog
  • Art group
  • See case manager
  • Workbooks
  • DBT homework

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Household chores
  • DBT homework
  • Workbooks
  • Pretty much an adulting type day

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Mental health clubhouse March birthday celebration
  • Read
  • Art
  • DBT Homework
  • Workbooks

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Workbooks
  • DBT homework
  • Read
  • Art

Friday

  • Blog
  • DBT Group
  • Therapy
  • Workbooks
  • Read

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Lunch with friends at Red Robin
  • Volunteer

Saturday Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here wishing I could be in a different head space that I have been in for the last year and a half. All I want in this world is to be back to doing well. I can’t help but think something better is coming my way. I just want some type of breakthrough with whatever the fuck is going on with the continued symptoms that appear to not be subsiding. I just cant lose hope. Hope is the essential to a persons recovery.

As part of my recovery I need to create some structure to help me and this is something that I feel like my treatment team is failing at but I share the responsibility as I am the one the is responsible for my daily life not my treatment team. I’ve learned that personal responsibility in my recovery is something that no matter how a person is doing symptom wise people respect you. I just need to take personal responsibility in make sure things don’t get worse.

One way I do that is doing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills. Skills that have been quite helpful for me over the years. If I do my DBT homework I know that I will be able to do my skills.

I think after doing DBT homework, I’ll do some art. Specifically, painting and collaging. Art helps me express my emotions in a way I am unable to do so in other ways.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful night. Peace Out, world!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! I realized that I didn’t do my weekly check for last week however I know what got in the way and will work on to make sure things don’t get in the way again. Yes, I realize life happens when I won’t be able to blog at time but I know what got in the way and will do may very best to let it not get in the way again.

My birthday was on Wednesday and I went into hang out at the mental health clubhouse before my appointment with Gilbert. Well, I let my emotions get the better of me and had an emotional outburst directed toward another client. A client that was being quite discriminatory toward my gender identity and sexual orientation. This person kept using the wrong pronouns toward me as well. Unfortunately, my emotions got the better of me and I started screaming and yelling at the individual after this person to leave me alone after being asked several times. I got barred for two days and I think it should have been longer. The other individual in the incident got a two day bar as well however it started a day after mine started.

I’m not happy with my behavior and have amped up my mindfulness practice as I feel it will help me. Help me regulate to regulate the emotions that get the best of me. Mindfulness has always helped me regulate my emotions.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!

The Importance of Respecting People’s Pronouns & Gender Identity

I’ve debated about writing this article because sadly it is still a controversial issue. A controversial issue that is one of many issues that is dividing this country apart. An issue that has been near and dear to me for decades yet never spoke up about it till I worked at a local mental health agency.

The topic I have chosen to write about is about respecting people’s pronouns and gender identity. This topic is quite important to me as I have never really identified as my perceived gender; female. I’ve considered myself to be genderqueer or non-binary or genderfluid and go by the pronouns they/them for quite some time yet never really corrected people for a multitude of reasons until recently.

It wasn’t until I got my first position at a local mental health agency when I realized the importance of respecting people’s pronouns and gender identity including my own. When I started working with clients who have felt disrespected by folks who didn’t respect their gender identity and/or the pronouns the individual goes by, I didn’t realize the impact it had on me when I advocated on their be behalf. It was in my job descriptions as a Consumer Aide and Peer Specialist to be an advocate for the clients I served.

Advocating for the clients I served regarding their pronouns and gender identity especially among a handful of my colleagues was not the easiest of things to do. It wasn’t easy to do at first because, I never really advocated for myself regarding my gender identity or preferred pronouns since the people closest to me already knew and respected this about me. So, when it became loud and clear to me in the first month of working in the mental health field that if it matters to the individuals I served, then it needs to matter to me as an individual who doesn’t go by societies gender norms. I’m not saying it didn’t matter to me before because it did however the Universe had used the clients I served on how important it is for me and my recovery as well as, the clients I use to serve.

As I came to terms with advocating for my clients and myself at work in the mental health field, I quickly realized that my own mental health treatment team didn’t know my preferred pronouns or that I identify as a genderfluid, non-binary, genderqueer individual. So, I decided if I am able to advocate for myself and my clients at work then I can advocate for myself with my treatment team. When I mentioned my gender identity and preferred pronouns, I found myself being on the receiving end of the advocacy I once did for my clients.

Why is it so important to respect people’s gender identity and preferred pronouns? Statistics show that 82% of transgender and non-conforming individuals don’t feel safe at work and/or school. The same stats show that 67% have been bullied online while 64% have had property destroyed. The effecting of being bullied especially regard gender identity are: six times more likely to be depressed; eight times more likely to attempt to die by suicide; and three times more likely to have a substance use disorder (SUD). To answer the question of why is it important to respect a person’s gender identity and pronouns is that it can literally safe someone’s life and is common courtesy to do so. It is also important that we respect each other as fellow human beings and that we value each other as individuals even if we don’t always get along.

Thank you for reading my lengthy article on respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity. The one thing I want you all to get out of this article is that gender identity plays a major role on who we are as individual’s as well as our mental health.

It’s My Birthday & I Can Do What I Want

Good Morning, World!!! It is my birthday and Junior surprised me with some things. He first surprised me with breakfast in bed. He then gave me some presents that I will enjoy. I got some art supplies which I am eager to start using. I also go a dozen or so Wonder Woman comic books. I also got six books to read as well.

So more or less with the art supplies, books and comics books, I am going to be busy for a while. A type of busy I don’t mind doing. I’m looking forward to do some are as well as reading. I am looking forward to engaging with these fun activities.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Birthday, Gertie

First and fore most I want to wish the love of my life, Gertie, a very Happy Birthday. Gertie deserves the best birthday ever. I am starting off their birthday with doing my guest post all about Gertie and how I am going to celebrate them today. I’m posting this at four in the morning so when Gertie gets up with breakfast in bed that they will already have birthday wishes from you, the reader Gertie works so hard for. Breakfast in bed and birthday wishes from you, the reader is only the first two presents I will be giving to.

The other gifts Gertie will be opening first thing this morning is art supplies for their art work. Books and comic books for them to read. This way Gertie will have a way to express their emotions through art as well as get out of their on head by reading books.

Of course Gertie planned something for themselves as part of a recovery present to themselves which is to go and have a therapy appointment with Gilbert. Gertie thinks therapy is a great way to celebrate a birthday since they are not able to work at the moment.

When Gertie gets back from their appointment I’ll take them to their favorite restaurant of Red Robin. Gertie loves Red Robin. I already know what Gertie is going to get and that is what makes going to Red Robin so easy.

Thank you for reading. Please, from the bottom of my heart, to know forget to wish Gertie a Happy Birthday. I love Gerties so much. I want to make Gertie’s birthday as special as I am able to do so.

Just Too Much Adulting

Good Afternoon, World!!! I know it is only two in the afternoon in my corner of the world but I have had just too much adulting for the day. Yes, while doing chores I listened to music which helped a great deal. It is just the other parts of adulting that were getting to me.

For example, while listening to music and cleaning my apartment two of my neighbors were screaming at each other in the hallway. Screaming that led into a physical altercation between the two of them which led to the police being called.

Now that I am done adulting for the moment, I am going to take a break from reality. Taking a break from reality by doing some things I enjoy doing. One thing to escape reality that I will be doing is art. It will help me express the emotions of the day and life in general.

Another way I am I escape reality it by reading. Reading a book or two that is fiction. Actually, I will be reading a fantasy book. Reading a fantasy book is definitely an escape on reality.

Thank you so much for reading about my life. Peace Out, World!!!