Tag Archives: Anxiety

Yet, Another Lengthy Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, again, World!!! It has been a long day for me and I still have a great deal on my mind. Not sure why I have so much spinning in my little brain of mine. Some of the spinning in my head is a good thing while some of it is not a good thing.

Even though I got everything taken care of at the DSHS office I am still worried about money. Yes, I have set up payment plans for medical bills that aren’t covered by Medicare and/or charity care. Hopefully, once I meet my spend down for Medicaid, I can get that back. I know things will work out in its own time.

As for needing money, I have decided to keep up the advertisements up on my blog. Every time when an ad is clicked, I get a few cents. A few cents that will eventually go into a PayPal account once it reaches one hundred dollars. That is why I am asking you my reader to click on one ad a day because every view cents adds up.

Another thing I plan on doing is selling some of my paintings. I am painting enough of them that I think I could make some money. Not much money because my paintings are all the good but it will be an extra ten to twenty dollars in my pocket.

On a plus note I had a good day. I spent half the day being an adult and the other half being a child. Being a child for a  while today is something I needed to do. I have needed to do it for a long time. Being a child is a form of self care for me.

I had a blast swimming at my grandpa’s place today.  It is always nice spending time with my grandfather. I think he enjoys the fact that I have been spending so much time with him lately. I think spending time with each other helps the both of us.

I think I have said this before but I am extremely grateful for all of you in the blogging community. There is little to no drama. In fact I have not seen drama on any blogging community. I just want to thank you for letting me into your community despite the shit I write. Just know I am proud to be a member of the blogging community.

Thank you for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me. Have a great rest of your Monday. Or the last three hours of what is left of Monday. Again thank you for reading. Have a good nights sleep. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

There’s Nothing Like Cuddles From The Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! There is nothing like being home especially where there are cat cuddle’s involved. Being able to cuddle with my cat today, or any time for that matter, has been quite helpful to me. Having a cat to come home to makes being home that much more better.

Right now I am watching the five o’clock news. As usual there is nothing really good on the news. Just a bunch of politics. Mainly, a bunch of politicians acting like a bunch of children. In fact children act more mature than politicians do now a days.

Right now I am having my anxiety and depression are acting up and I am not sure why. I am attributing a little bit to my current health problems and other to not having a job.  I mainly blame it on my weird as mouth infection that appears that won’t fucking go away.

I think I am going to work on applying for jobs after I am done post this blog and getting some cuddles from my cat, Lil Gertie. Getting cuddles from my cat, Lil Gertie, is quite helpful for me. I think job hunting and applying for jobs will be helpful as well.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Have a great rest of you Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Home With Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I don’t know if I stated in my last post, I am now home with my cat. In fact my last post was written and posted here at home. It is nice to be home with my cat at my side. Right now she is purring and it is calming me down quite a bit.

Now that I am home, it is my goal to get my depression and anxiety under control. How do I plan on doing this you ask. Great question. I plan on blogging off and on all day today. I also plan on doing chores which is an odd way of helping with depression and anxiety. Of course spending time with my cat is another way that will be helpful for my anxiety and depression.

I also plan on spending it time with some of my neighbors who have become really good friends. In fact we will be having a potluck dinner. More like an early dinner at about four in the afternoon in my corner of the world. That is less than an hour away for me.

I just wish I wasn’t having such high anxiety and increasing depression despite everything I am doing to combat it. Maybe if I blog later on about the dinner I had or whatever the hell is on my mind will help.

I want to thank you for reading my blog no matter how depressing it can be. For me I appreciate you for reading my blog. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Sunday. I hope to blog again later on today to let you know how things have improved. Or I hope improved.  I am very grateful for all of you reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Here’s To Hoping

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, again, World!!! I know I just posted about less than an hour ago but felt like posting again. I have forgotten to mention a couple of things since my last post.

Today, I hope to hear back from the potential employer who I have been playing email tag with to set up a job interview. I am hoping to hear back today to find out when my interview is. It is slightly anxiety provoking but it is one of those things that I will deal with.

On a plus note, I have an interview later this week for a volunteer job at the Seattle Art Museum. I am looking forward to it. Volunteering at the art museum will give me something to do and a way to meet new people.

An idea I have for the day is take my laptop with me a post about things that are going on for me at the moment. For example, I will most likely post while waiting to see my doctor. I also hope to blog while waiting to see my therapist as well but their WiFi seems to be down a great deal. The one thing I won’t do is blog while have lunch with my grandpa at Red Robin. That would just be rude. Now blogging while in the waiting rooms of my doctors and therapist office is a different story.

I honestly hope I hear back about a job interview time for sometime next week. I prefer Monday or Tuesday in the morning but realize that they need to arrange people schedules who will be doing the interviewing.

Having a job will help me immensely with my mental health. Having structure in my life is a good thing and having something what I consider productive for me is quite helpful.  Plus having the extra money will be quite helpful to help pay for stuff that I want but don’t need.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope to blog again in the waiting room of my doctors office. Have a great and Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman, Where Are You?

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have yet to get to sleep despite trying. Lil Gertie has been helping me through some anxiety attacks. Anxiety attacks that can be debilitating. I don’t think my anxiety is causing me to not sleep however it something to discuss with my therapist.

I have been reading as this time of morning there is nothing on and don’t feel like doing much of anything else. I have been reading a book I put down a few months ago and decided to start reading it again.

I am thinking I am going to get going as I want to try to get some sleep before I need to get up. I just wish I knew were Mr. Sandman was so I could sleep. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Good Morning, World

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up in a depressive state.  A state that I can get out of by the time DBT group happens at one in the afternoon. I am also having some pretty high anxiety at the moment. Anxiety and depression I don’t know why I am having. I have a theory or two but at this point in time I am attempting to do what I need to do to focus on getting out of this anxious and depressive mood.

I’ll hopefully be able to check-in with my therapist today as I think I will  need one due to the anxiety and the depression I am dealing with. I think I am dealing with them due to not getting very much sleep last night. Not sure why I didn’t get very much sleep but that is one of my theories about the anxiety and depression. Checking in with my therapist is something that will help me with this as I want to act effectively when I go to group.

I am looking forward attending DBT group as I am done with my homework. We had to do a chain analysis as well as a diary card. The diary card is no big deal but the chain analysis was the difficult part of the homework. I discussed it with my therapist and he admits it is a difficult part of my homework for the week.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World. Right now I am just fighting through some anxiety. Anxiety that is being reduced my Lil Gertie. I’m going to be seeing my therapist tomorrow and we will be discussing my anxiety and how my cat has been helping reduce the symptoms of it.

As you may know if you read my blog regularly I am using advertisements to earn some extra money. They will not pay you till you hit at least one hundred dollars. All I made for the month of April is nine dollars and seventy four cents. Well, at least it is a start. A start in the right direction.

Today, I adulted. I paid most of my June bill already. The only thing I have to pay is my credit card bill and I can do that tomorrow. Being responsible with paying on bills is always a good thing. I also but kitty litter and food for Lil Gertie. I also got her a bed to sleep in. It will go on the end of my bed at night and next to my chair during the day.

I have been doing a lot of scrap booking today. I painted a picture in my scrap book just for the hell of it. It is my scrap book to help me remember the events of my life so why not remember painting.

I think I am going to go now. Have a great day. Peace Out World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I just got done watching the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. He is a very funny person. I am planning on going to bed within the next hour. Lil Gertie is smack dab in the middle of my bed. If she is still there when I go to be, I will move her.

I am planning on watching M*A*S*H after I am done blogging. Watching something that is a comedy or has humor involved helps with my anxiety especially before bed. Some how laughter helps me sleep.

I haven’t really done much all day as I didn’t have much planned but an interview that got cancelled. It was a nice and relaxing day for me. I read a great deal. I read about Buddhism. I also read Buddhist Scriptures.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Fun Doesn’t = Anxiety

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here blogging as I watch The Ellen Show on television. Lil Gertie is sitting by my side purring. I have been having anxiety all day and Lil Gertie has been helping. Watching Ellen is proven to be helpful as well. It has proven to be helpful due to the fact she is funny as hell. I would love to be in the audience of the Ellen Show but fear being on television.

I have been working on my scrapbook a great deal today. It is starting to come along. I am looking forward to showing it to people including my therapist. Since my therapist is new to me, showing him a scrap book of what is important to me might help him get to know me a little bit more. Scrap booking is like painting for me. It is a way to express my emotions.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Late Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am a little disappointed as I went to my job interview and it didn’t happen. It didn’t happen because one of the interviewers wasn’t there due to a family emergency. So, the interview got rescheduled for next Monday.

Now that I am home, I have been scrap booking. I have been adding pictures of Lil Gertie as well as Wonder Woman items. So, I have been adding two of my favorite things; my cat and my favorite super hero. I love to scrap book.

Lil Gertie has been helpful to me regarding my anxiety today. Not job interview anxiety but anxiety as a whole. Anxiety that appears to be reduced by Lil Gertie.

I think I am going to get going. Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!