Tag Archives: Friends

Just Another Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am slightly struggling at the moment. I wish I wasn’t struggling but sadly I am. I am specifically struggling with the symptoms of both my anxiety and depression. Having symptoms from both act up at the same time is a hell in of itself yet it appears that I always tend to pick myself up from dealing with both at the same time.

Despite dealing with intense depression and anxiety symptoms I managed to hang out with a couple of friends. My friends and I decided we would go out and have a late lunch early dinner. We went to a local diner we had never been to and love the food as well as the service. As much as I didn’t want hang out with friends or go out to eat, I am grateful I did both. It got me out of my apartment and my head. It is never a good thing for me to isolate so hanging out with friends was a good decision for me.

Now that I have been home for a couple of hours, I realize that I am getting stuck in my head again. I went to turn on the television and well poof a political debate was on just about every channel. I knew it was going to be on tonight and tomorrow but I wasn’t paying attention to the time so I when I realized it was on I turned off the television and now I am writing this blog post. Don’t get me wrong about not wanting to watch the political debate but since I haven’t educated myself on all twenty candidates I don’t want to watch the debate. I know I will watch political debates when the election gets closer.

Since the political debate is on I am going to listen to podcast on philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am going to listen to is called “Philosophize This.” I will be listening to it from my laptop via Spotify. I am learning a great deal about philosophy from this podcast because I listen to it and then look up some of what is discussed in the podcast. I love to learn about new things especially if helps me have educated conversations.

As I listen to “Philosophize This,” I will be doing some art. The type of art I will be doing is coloring. I am coloring a poster that I have been coloring on and off since late 2016. It is my goal to finish it so I can give it to my current therapist as a thank you. The poster I am coloring has an awesome saying that is great when it comes to the therapeutic relationship. I am hoping that when I am finished with it that I take a picture of it to share with you.

I do not have much more to say so I guess I will end this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans for the Evening

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have a relatively good day. I went and got my dentures adjusted and found out that I will get my permanent in late August, early September. I, then went to a group and saw my employment (vocational) specialist. After that I spent some time with friends which is always a good thing especially since I have been isolating a great deal as of lately. Spending time with my friends today was much needed and plans with another friend for next Friday (July 5th). Having people in corner to be of support is awesome.

Now that I am home and have nothing planned for the rest of the day, I am thinking that I will do some art. Actually, I plan on coloring as there is a big coloring picture that I started in late 2016 and haven’t finished yet because every time I restart it something always happens to where I stop coloring. See this coloring poster has an awesome saying on it and it reminds me of something a therapist would say. I started it originally thinking once it is finished that I would give it my therapist at the time, Dianna but sadly she had to unexpectedly quit due to a cancer diagnosis. Every time I have started coloring the picture again in hopes to give it the therapist I have at the moment something happens to where that person is no longer my therapist. So I think I am going to start coloring it again in hopes to give it to my current therapist and if for some reason he can’t be my therapist anymore I will hold on to it and give it to someone who has helped me. I love to color for many reasons and plan on coloring this evening.

As I color I will be listening to a podcast on philosophy. I find the subject fascinating and love learning about it and how it has shaped history and our ways of thinking. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” on Spotify. I am learning a great deal from Stephen West about philosophy. In fact the topics and people he discusses I end up looking up and learning even more. To me listening to this podcast is helping me with finding out things I might not have educated myself on. I really find philosophy interesting and enjoy learning about it.

I do not have much more to discuss with you at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. I hope everyone has good rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!

Let the ____ Countdown Begin

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I was looking at the calendar and realized that today is June 25th. That means that Christmas is six months away. It also means that a friend of mine will start posting on Facebook on what he calls “The Christmas Countdown” every single day till Christmas. As much as I really don’t like being reminded of how much time we have left till Christmas, I am glad that it brings my friend joy to post a daily countdown till Christmas on his Facebook page.

Now on to other topics. Lets discus, sleep and insomnia. I highly dislike having insomnia but at least I got some sleep last night. Not as much as I would have liked but at least I got some sleep.

Now on to my work situation. I am planning on quitting my current job because the schedule is not the best for me or my mental health. See my job is an on-call position and it is a twelve hour night shift so I can get called in two hours before the shift is suppose to start so I cant really prepare myself especially in regards to sleep. Yes, I know I can say no and I have but sadly I am the only on call and can’t be the one to keep taking people’s shifts if they can’t make it in for some reason. Sometimes I have had to cancel appointments with my therapist so I could get some sleep and cancelling a therapy appointments is never good for me. So, since I still qualify and get disability I can quit my job and work on my mental health as I apply to for other jobs.

Speaking of applying for other job a friend reached out to me via Facebook private messaging, that the mental health agency she works for has a part time peer position that she thinks would be “an awesome fit” for me. Right now the job posting is only for internal applicants but since my friends former supervisor is now the supervisor for the program needing the peer specialist, my friend was given permission for me to send in my cover letter and resume via my friends work email. So, I am going to be writing a cover letter and tweaking my resume and sending to my friend. Granted the location of the job isn’t ideal for me but I know I can manage getting to work if I get the job and it working in housing with formally homeless individuals which is what I am passionate about and have experience in. Not only do I have this friend who works at the agency as a peer but I have a former colleague who works at this same agency as the friend so I know I have two allies.

I better get going as I realize it is time for some food because I am hungry. It is time for me to get some breakfast. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Random Update

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! A great deal has happened since I last posted. In fact, I vaguely remember writing my last post as I was dissociating on and off through it. In fact my mental health treatment team is quite concerned about how much I have been dissociating and how long the episodes last. In fact I am just as concerned as they are. As concerned as I am in regards to my dissociative episodes, I am more fearful of them than anything else.

Last Friday at this time I was traveling to a small rural town in eastern Oregon to visit my great aunt and uncle with my grandpa, dad and two uncles. I normally don’t mind travelling but when you are in a normal sized car with four other people and you are stuck in the middle seat in the back for six plus hours, it’s the most comfortable of experiences. I, however do enjoy visiting my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon. I enjoy visiting both because they are both awesome at storytelling especially when it comes to family history.

After my grandpa, dad and two uncles visited my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon, we drove to Spokane, Washington to not only visit another great aunt but my grandma’s grave. It was nice seeing this great aunt but I was more grateful to visit my grandma’s grave. Not only did I see my great aunt and visit my grandma’s grave, I saw two friends who live in Spokane.

After traveling several hundred miles in two states I was extremely happy to get home on Monday (May 13th). I was happy to get home to my cat, Lil Gertie and sleep in my own bed. In fact, my cat, Lil Gertie, lectured me for a good five minutes. While I was out of town a neighbor who is a good friend watched Lil Gertie for me. I attempted to give him fifty dollars for his time watching, Lil Gertie, but he would only accept twenty five dollars. It’s great to have friends who will help you out when needed.

Going back to the topic of my therapist, I had a session with him. Unfortunately, I don’t remember it because I was in a dissociative state. He has been calling me daily to check in on me. Checking in on me on the daily basis is his way of being proactive and preventive of keeping me out of the hospital for psych reasons even though I am not suicidal or have urges to self harm. The reason why I would be in the hospital for psych ward would  be for the dissociative episodes which would leave me in a vulnerable state. I am all for keeping me out of the hospital as the hospital is not very fun.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Boundaries Crossed = Anger

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Right now I am livid. I am beyond livid. A friend of mine came over to hang out because she is acutely aware that I have been isolating. This friend is a Christian and I have no problem with that. The problem I have is what she did when she was here.

Long story short we were discussing why I was isolating. I informed her that when my depression symptoms get bad I tend to isolate especially when the psychosis acts up. When I experience psychosis, I hear voices. My friend was (and still is) concerned about my depression symptoms increasing as she expressed this to me as we were talking. During our conversation she informed me that I “have demons” in me because I hear voices. This is the point where she decided to lay hands on me to “pray out the demons.” If prayer worked for my mental health challenges then I wouldn’t have any. I know I shouldn’t be mad at my friend for “trying” to help but prayer does shit especially since I no longer consider myself a Christian. It angers me that people of the Christian faith think prayer is the cure all and heal all when it is not. I asked my friend to not put hands on me to pray for me. She then got mad at me. I attempted to educate her about psychosis and voices but she didn’t want to hear it and left. I am angry at her because she didn’t respect my boundaries. She is aware that I don’t like to be touched and that I don’t really like to be “prayed over” especially in my own home.

Being angry at my friend for not respecting my boundaries has me questioning if I should really be mad at her for doing what she thought was helping. All I wanted was to hang out and watch movies or television. I didn’t want to be “prayed over.” Am I overreacting regarding this? I hope not. I truly don’t understand why people think prayer is the answer to everything.

I am thinking I am needing to stop writing about this particular issue as it is making me more angry. I, highly dislike being angry especially at a good friend who in my opinion was trying to help to the best of her ability even though we both know she crossed my boundaries.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Saturday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Slept All Day On A Beautiful Seattle Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today (Sunday), was beautiful day. It was a beautiful day outside that even Mount Rainier was out. Usually, on beautiful sunny days like today you can see Mount Rainier. It is a beautiful site to see. Sadly, during the summer it is quite difficult due from the fires from across this great state of Washington.

Unfortunately, I did sleep a good potion of the day. Not sure why I slept a good portion of the day as I actually got some good sleep last night. It wasn’t so so sleep but a good restful sleep. I think part of it is my depression. My depression either has me not sleep at all or I sleep too much. In fact it is usually not at all. I just wish I didn’t sleep on such a beautiful day suck as today.

On a plus note, I was awake during the times my friends and I have a potluck meal every Sunday. We do this every Sunday as we all remember having Sunday meals that extra family came over or when friends and neighbors came by. My friends (who are neighbors) decided to do this years ago to help keep that tradition going from our childhood despite some of our big age differences.

I just wish I did not sleep today away as it would have been a great Sunday to go enjoy the cherry blossom’s on University of Washington (UW) campus. Those cherry blossoms are beautiful to see when they are at full blossom. Seeing the cherry blossoms on the UW campus sure helps with my depression. I think that is what I am going to go do tomorrow (Monday) and bring my lunch with me. There is nothing like having a picnic on the UW campus when the cherry blossoms are in bloom. Hopefully, the weather will be beautiful like it was today (Sunday) and yesterday (Saturday).

I do not have much more to say as I am still pretty sleepy and could easily go back to bed and sleep even though I slept well last night and most of today. I would like to thank you for reading my blog as it is great appreciated from my end of things.  As the weekend comes to a close with only four hours and ten minutes left of it, I hope everyone had a great weekend. I also hope everyone has a great work week starting tomorrow (Monday) especially if you have a “typical” work week of Monday thru Friday. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

An Okay Type of Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! At this moment in time I am tired as hell. I have not had any sleep the last two nights. I have been awake since eight in the morning on Friday and well it is now early Sunday evening. All I want is some sleep. I hope that I am able to sleep tonight. If not then I know the symptoms of my mental health challenges most likely will increase and nobody wants that.

I have been reading most of the day. I have been mainly reading Wonder Woman comic books as it helps me in many different ways. It helps give me a sense of strength that I may not have or feel that I have at the moment. I have yet to start the novel I was telling you about in my last post and hope to start it at some point this evening. The book I hope to start to reading is Yesternight by Cat Winters. I heard nothing but good things about the book.

I ended up having lunch with friends like I do every Sunday. In fact a group of my neighbors who have become good friends have Sunday lunch every week. It is a potluck style meal. It is nice being able to have a weekly meal with my neighbors as it helps us get to know each other and who lives in the building.

After lunch I went grocery shopping with two of my friends who are also my neighbors. I really didn’t need to get much. I just needed milk, butter, mac & cheese, banana’s and yogurt. I do need more groceries however my grandpa will be taking me grocery shopping at the end of the week so I just bought stuff to help carry me through the week with the stuff I already have.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for you my reader. You help make blogging worth while for me. I would still blog without readers but having regular reader helps keep me going. Again, I want to thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Workbook
  • Art
  • Laundry
  • Lunch w/friends

Monday

  • Blog
  • Workbook
  • Art group

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Workbook
  • Therapy appointment
  • Appointment with employment specialist
  • Art

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Workbook
  • Open Communication group
  • Household chores

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Workbook
  • Appointment w/denture dude
  • DBT group
  • Art

Friday

  • Blog
  • Workbooks
  • Lunch w/friends
  • Art

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Workbooks
  • Movies w/friends
  • Dinner w/more friends

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday and that means it is time for my weekly check-in. I honestly don’t have much to check-in about as nothing really eventful happened. Also, nothing interesting didn’t happen that I haven’t already blogged about.

I am hoping that I will get back into the habit of blogging again. I think I need to schedule it into my day as it will help me build the structure I need. I need the structure to help me with my recovery. Blogging has also prove helpful to my recovery.

I am planning on playing cards with some neighbors in a few moments. My depression has been acting up and isolation is been something has been creeping back. So that is why I am going down to the community room to play a card game or two with neighbors who are friends of mine.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It it greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Saturday. I also hope every has a great rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Full Monday, I Had

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is twelve midnight which means it is officially Tuesday in my corner of the world. I am wanting to share with you how my Monday went as it ended better than how it started which I am grateful for.

My Monday did not start off exactly how I had wanted. The building fire alarm went off at five o’clock in the morning startling everyone awake. So, I put Lil Gertie in her carrier and went down to the lobby. As I got to the lobby the fire department was arriving so I of course let the fire fighters in. The fire fighters did a sweep of the building to see where there could be a potential fire at and then attempted to reset the fire alarm. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to reset the fire alarm which meant they had to do another sweep of the building. Long story short they couldn’t reset the fire alarm to be able to turn it off. They couldn’t let anyone back to their apartments till someone from the apartment building management and/or maintenance showed up. Sadly, when the fire department called them at six nobody showed up until the building office opened up at eight o’clock in the morning. It really sucked for everybody especially all the cats in carriers because they were in them for three hours.

When we were finally able to get back to our apartments at eight o’clock in the morning, I let Lil Gertie out of her carrier and gave her wet food. She usually gets a can in the evening but she deserved to have an extra can today. After giving Lil Gertie some wet food I got ready for the day and then left to go to my appointment with my therapist.

Since I ended up arriving early to my appointment, I hang out in the day treatment area for about an hour. During my appointment with my therapist we discussed my birthday and turning forty. That led to my therapist asking some questions about my childhood. Questions that I am grateful he asked as he received some insight about how my childhood was. After I was sharing about some parts of my childhood he responded by “you sure did experience a great deal of trauma as a child.” In response to his comment I said, “Oh that was the easy shit I went through unless you count going to Disneyland.” He chuckled at my response as he knew I grew up near Disneyland. In face I found it cool that he chuckled as my response was suppose to be a little funny despite having a serious side to it. I am happy that my therapist got some insight of how my childhood was even though it wasn’t the most traumatic part of my childhood. Yes, it was traumatic but the the most severe trauma I was in.

After my appointment with my therapist, I attended art group. We did a self care tree. We drew and wrote in leaves what we did for self care which was a great reminder for everyone to do good self care and that it looks differently to people. I love art group so much. Art has a way of helping me express things I am unable to express.

After therapy and art group I got home and spent a couple of hours chilling with Lil Gertie, my cat. After a couple of hours I went downstairs to the community room to hang out with neighbors who I have become friends with. We had a potluck dinner. All the food was delicious. After dinner we then play a couple of games. We played Jenga, Phase 10, and Uno. We all had a great time spending about five hours together.

Now, I am back in my apartment writing this post and chilling out watching The Tonight Show. My cat, Lil Gertie is actually sleeping in her cat bed which means she wants me to go to bed. Hell, I am tired so I guess that is what I am going to do next.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a goodnight everyone. Don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!