Processing Grandma Being In Hospice Care

Good Evening, World!!! I wish Junior was not working for a multitude of reasons. Main reason is to help me through the fact that my grandma is in hospice care. But he has to work to pay his bills.

Having my grandma in hospice is really difficult for me and my family. Something that has been helpful to be are my DBT skills. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It’s been helping me get out of head. Art has been helpful to me as a way to express my emotions. A way to not explode on myself or anyone else. Blogging has been helpful to process all this stuff.

I don’t deal well with painful emotions and my grandma being in hospice is quite challenging. She is aware of what is going on about eighty percent of the time which makes it that much more difficult. I love my grandma and hope she doesn’t suffer.

Thank you for reading my depressing post. I hope everyone has a good night. Enjoy the Superbowl tomorrow for those of you that live in the United States. Peace Out, World!!

Photography 1: Day 2; Street

Good Afternoon World!!! Today is the second day of Photography; Developing Your Eye; Day Two. Today’s topic is street. Piggy backing on yesterdays theme of home and how I shared pictures of my neighborhood I’m going to discuss the “main” street of the neighborhood I live in.

IMG_0249University Way NE fondly known as the “Ave.” The story behind on why its call the “Ave” is because at one point in time the street was called 14th Ave NE and the business’s in the area wanted to bring more business to the area so it started calling it the “Ave.” The city decided to change the name of the street to University Way NE due to the reason that the University of Washington is in this neighborhood yet the “Ave.” stuck.

IMG_0252Looking South on the “Ave.”

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Looking North on the “Ave.”

So as I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little more with both todays and yesterday’s post as I showed you around my neighborhood. I hope everyone has a good afternoon and good work week. Peace Out, World

Life, The Challenges & Silver Linings

Good Morning, World!!! Its been a tough week for my family. My grandma is going into hospice care and we are attempting the best we can to keep it together for her. My grandma is a strong woman. She keeps giving me “talks” to make sure I go to my job interviews next week.

I am looking forward the possibility of going back to work. I’ve been missing being able to go to work. I really think being able to go to work helps with my mental health or at least the structure that goes with it. Being out of work has you think how much structure one must have to be able to not get so depressed or at least that is how it is for me. Work also gives me the social aspect of life. So for me work helps a great deal with a multiple of things in my life.

Life brings the bad and the good. Sometimes at the same time like at the moment. As life continues I am looking at the silver lining in things. Its difficult at time however it is possible. Yes, I am being realistic about my grandma however I know she wants me to look at the silver lining.

Thank you the reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Unproductive Day & Unable to Sleep

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Hello, World!!! I’ve been unproductive today and unable to sleep. Or at least I feel like I’ve been unproductive despite the things I’ve done today. The picture above is one of the many things I’ve done today. I may not be finished with it but I say I was successful with my art today since I started the picture today.

Another thing I did was read. I read the book I’ve been reading for a while and am still enjoying the book a great deal. Below is a what I am reading.

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Another thing I did was watch a handful of TedTalks. I watched some on race as well as those who live with autism. Here are my notes on two of them. One is about Autism and the other about race.

The World Needs All Kinds of Minds

  • Autism is a continuum
  • To understand Autism is to think pictures.
  • Visual learning is key
  • Pattern Thinkers: Music and math minds
  • Verbal minds: Poor at drawing.
  • Photo Realistic Thinks: Poor at Algebra
  • Autistics tend to be fixated on one certain  thing

Color Blind or Color Brave

  • Race is a risky topic to talk about
  • The first step in taking action is awareness
  • Racial discrimination is bad for business
  • Color blindness means ignoring the problem
  • We have to be “color brave” by being willing to have open discussions about race.
  • Observe your environment
  • Speak up

Thank you for reading. I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening/Night

Hello, World!!! I’m having a tough go at it at the moment. I’ve been dealing with that fact the my grandma is in hospice care and I’m attempting to process it through journaling and blogging. It appears to be helping.

Reading a history text book and watching TedTalks about history. I feel like I can get some sort of education regarding history. Its helping with getting my mind off of things and wish my family and I weren’t dealing with all this but its the reality we are dealing with.

Reality can suck shit but it can be wonderful at the same time. For example my grandma told me today if I don’t go to my job interviews and Tuesday and Wednesday that when she goes, she will haunt me to the day I die and then haunt me after death. I got to love my grandma. She’s facing death yet she is still using her humor.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening/night. Peace Out, World!!!

Photography 1: Day 1; Home

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today is the first day of the Photography; Developing Your Eye Day One. Today’s topic is home. Home can mean different things to different people. When I think of home I think of the neighborhoods I live or have lived in. Specifically, the neighborhood I grew up in as well the one I currently live in. If I had photo’s of the neighborhood grew up in I would be sharing them with you but I don’t so I can’t.

When we think of home we all think of the neighborhood we live in. That’s why I’ve decided to share photo’s of my current neighborhood. Each photo will have a description of what that specific place means to me and/or the neighborhood below the photo.

IMG_0168This King County Metro bus travels through my neighborhood every 20 minutes or so. It goes to one of my favorite places to hang out which is the Ballard Locks.

IMG_0166This is one of the many bikes that clutters Seattle’s neighborhood’s including mine. You can rent for money to ride to get where you are going. The down fall is you have to have a smart phone to do so and not everyone has one. I’ve never rented one and don’t plan to. They litter the sidewalks and have usually fallen on the ground. This one is in rare form and actually in an upright position.

IMG_0172Good ole Seattle traffic. You can see that it has been raining in this picture as I shot it looking towards downtown which you can sort of see. This is one of the many reasons people ride their bikes and/or take public transportation.

IMG_0170Good ole Seattle Fire Department. In fact this is the engine Junior works on. Lights and sirens were going at the time of the picture. Something one gets to living in the city and near a fire station.

IMG_0164Another joy of living in the city is the never ending construction!!! (Can you hear me being sarcastic?) You can see one of the many cranes Seattle has. Last time I checked Seattle had the most cranes working in the using at the moment.

IMG_0169The iconic Blue Moon Tavern. It opened in April of 1934 and back then it was state law that all bars had to be at least a mile away for college campuses. Not sure if it’s still state law but this is an iconic bar.

IMG_0157Washington’s own pharmacy. Its a family run local drug store chain. Bartell’s has several stores around the Puget Sound area. This is the particular Bartell’s in my neighborhood and is where I get my meds at.

Now that you have had a tour of my neighborhood, I hope you feel at home. Thanks for reading. Have a great day and go enjoy your neighborhood. It’s an extension of your home. Peace Out, World!!!

Small Freak Out + Reality Check = DBT Skills

Good Afternoon, World!! I was starting to freak out about my grandma still being in the hospital. Actually, I was freaking out when nobody was answering their phone and told by a nurse on the phone that my grandma’s nurse was dealing with an emergency. So, I thanked the nurse and called my great aunt. She gave me the reality check I needed and told me my grandma was okay. She then informed to do things that help me and asked me to tell her what I was going to do.

I informed my great aunt that I would blog about what I was going to do while listening to music. Than I would do some art and read. My great aunt suggest I play my flute. Or at least my grandma’s favorite song I know on the flute to feel close to my grandma till I talk to her on the phone.

So, I’m now doing my plan to help me get through a rough moment. Thank you for putting up with me. Have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Poetry; Day Eight: Pleasure

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Looking into his eyes as he caresses my naked body gives a pleasure that one cannot describe.

He inserts his penis and I have an instant orgasm.

A smile cross’s his face and mine as we have a moment that only we could enjoy.

Happy February

Good Morning, World!!! Its a typical drizzly morning in Seattle. I woke up early so I could have a fresh hot breakfast on the table when he get home from a long 24-hour shift as a firefighter. I made him banana pancakes and scrambled eggs with hot chocolate. Junior was thrilled that I made him breakfast and even more thrilled that I didn’t burn the house down when I made him breakfast.

After breakfast Junior and I had quite the intimate moment. We made love to our favorite music. More or less we had sex to our “love songs” play list. Music that turns both of us on and has our love making time last a tad bit longer. It was very pleasurable  moment for the both of us.

After our intimate moment, Junior decided he is going to take a nap. As he is napping, I decided to blog. After blogging I tend to read. As many of you know I love reading and am enjoying the science fiction book I am reading.

I should get going as I want to get to reading my book. Have a great day everyone. Enjoy your lovely February and Peace Out, World!!!

Therapy & Job Opportunities

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I had therapy with Gilbert. We discussed how I have been improving with my mental health. He agrees that things are going well and that he see’s that I’ve been working like hell to get back to my baseline. We also discussed how we both think that it would be wise for me to go back to work.

Which leads me to my next topic of job opportunities. I applied to multiple jobs and had an interview yesterday and have three next week. I’m looking forward to the interviews next week. One is at my previous employer and will be interviewing for two jobs at the same time. The other job interview is going to be at an agency that is pro peer. Which is really good.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!