Tag Archives: PTSD

Needing Some Zzz’s In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 2:30 in the morning in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep despite everything I have tried to get to sleep. Let’s begin what I know is keeping me up and the corrupts are anxiety and PTSD. Both really suck any time of day especially when you are trying to get to sleep.

Now lets get to how I have attempted to get to sleep so far. I started off with taking some Melatonin and then doing both a mindfulness and meditation practice after watching late night television. Late night television is quite helpful for me with my sleep as humor and comedy help a great deal as does doing mindfulness and meditation practices after late night television. I decided to take melatonin for the first time and took it an hour before I knew I was going to go to bed. Unfortunately, melatonin, late night television with humor and comedy as well as mindfulness and meditation practices didn’t help me get to sleep. So, that is when I took my anxiety medicine in hopes that it would help me get sleepy enough to get to sleep. Sadly this did not work either. So, I tried my new sleeping med and it appears that it is not working either. It is quite frustrating for me to not be able to sleep. My next step is take a benadryl and watch M*A*S*H in hopes that it can be helpful for some sleep.

Well, I hope everyone has a good night or morning or evening depending where they are in the world. I am saying goodnight in hopes to getting some sleep. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you read my blog. I am grateful for each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Manic Monday Madness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!  I don’t deal with bipolar however, I think I was Manic a little bit earlier. I am trying to get my Medicaid straightened out and it appears there was an error on DSHS which they acknowledge and they will be paying the bill for the service that should have been already.

After dealing with DSHS, I went and informed my therapist of what had. He agrees that the information I got was quite confusing him. So he is going to take me to the DSHS office on Friday to get clarity when my medicaid got turn backed on. I have it but nobody agrees of when it started. I did talk to my therapist about other shit like the PTSD and the grief.  It was overall a good session with him. It was extremely helpful for me today.

I didn’t art group like wanted to because I was too tired. Yes, I wanted to go but I was too tired so I came home and took a nap, The  nap was refreshing.  I can do art her at home.

I don’t know what else to write about at the moment. I feel like that today was full of madness due to all the red tape I had to deal with today. Thank you for reading  my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today has been an overall good day despite dealing with PTSD and grief. I spent time with my grandpa today. We watched the Seattle Storm play against the Washington Mystics in the WNBA championship. Of course the Storm beat the Mystics and are just one game away from winning the championship. As we watched the basketball game we fixed hamburgers and french fries for a meal. It turned out great. In fact I had fun watching the game and eating with my grandpa.

Tomorrow, I see my therapist and will be discussing with him about the grief and PTSD I have been dealing with as of lately.  I am sure he would be more than willing to discuss these issues with me as they have been giving me the most trouble.

I do not have much more to say as today has been a lazy and good day even while dealing with grief and PTSD. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night Turns Into Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t sleep at all last night and it now six forty five in the morning in my corner of the world. I am struggling at the moment not only because I had a sleepless. I am also struggling with some severe PTSD as well as grief over my grandma’s death nearly seven months ago.

I am planning on spending time with family today. Not because I am dealing with the grief of my grandma but because it is something my grandma wanted as her last wish. For her family to spend time together on the regular basis. I am not sure if I am wanting to go due to the lack of sleep however I will go due to it being the wish of my grandma.

I am not sure what else I am going to do today but I plan on doing something. Most likely I will attempt to take a nap due to the lack of sleep I got last night. I also plan on doing some grocery shopping and laundry. I, of course will play with Lil Gertie, my cat.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early To Be Up On A Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is six o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I have been awake since about three this morning when my cat woke me up from a nightmare by licking my toes. Some how my cat knows when I am having a nightmare and wakes me up before it can get any worse.

I did make me a nice breakfast and just finished eating it. I had scrambled eggs, bacon and French toast. I gave Lil Gertie, my cat, a little piece of bacon. She appeared to enjoy the bacon. She deserved the piece of bacon since she did wake me up from a nightmare.

I just wish I could go back to sleep. Going back to sleep would be nice. Maybe I can take a nap later on before I go to my volunteer job. I don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am talking with people on a help line.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is so very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I hope you all can find something to do to enjoy the world around you. Peace Out, World!!!!

It’s Midnight & I Can’t Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is twelve midnight in my corner of the world and I can not sleep. I am not sure why I can not sleep. I highly dislike not being able to sleep. I have a great deal on my mind but I think I can not sleep due to the fact that it is a combination of PTSD and insomnia.

Right now my depression and PTSD are acting up and I am not sure why. I am pretty sure my poor health isn’t helping the symptoms of my mental health challenges. This stupid weird ass mouth infection is just not conducive to what I have planned.

Maybe, I will turn on some music and do some art. Actually, the genre of art I will be doing is coloring. Not sure what genre of music I will be listening to yet but the decision is in the works.

Have goodnight and hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope everyone has a good Monday and work week when they get up for work. Thanks for reading. I really do appreciate people reading my blog. Having regular readers is what helps keep this blog going. Peace Out, World!!!

False Alarms Fucking Suck Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Fucking Morning, World. It is three thirty in the fucking morning and I had finally fallen asleep due to being sleepless in Seattle when the building fire alarm goes off. Not only did it scare the shit out of me but it scared the shit out Lil Gertie. It triggered my PTSD and who knows if she has PTSD from this kind of stuff. To make matters worse it was difficult to put her into her already much hated carrier but was finally able to do so. I wasn’t going to leave my poor cat to deal with the noise much less it being an actual fire. Lil Gertie is my life and I need to protect her. All I can say was all that work putting Lil Gertie into her carrier was for nothing because it ended up being a false alarm. Well, better safe than sorry.

My poor cat is hiding in her secret hiding place of my dirty close hamper. If it makes her feel safe then I let her be. Right now she needs her space and I hope she comes out when she feel safe.

Right now I am going to get back into my safe space by reading Wonder Woman comic books. Fire alarms don’t help my mental health especially my PTSD which is why I am going to be reading Wonder Woman comic books to help me chill the fuck out.

I apologize for all the cussing in this post but when it scares my cat and puts her into danger then I am going to be a little angry about it. I have every right to be angry about it and so do my neighbors as someone pulled the fire alarm pull stations on every floor from the basement to the tenth floor of the building.

Thank you for letting me rant and rave about the false alarm. I think I am more upset that it effected my cat. My cat is like my baby. Thank you for reading and hope the day goes well for all of you. I know some of you are just getting up for work while others are still in bed. And some of you have been up for hours working due to the time differences around the world. Have a good day anyway. I appreciate you reading everything I have to say. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is after ten at night in my neck of the woods and realized that I have done multiple post today but not my usual one of a weekly check in. My week honestly has been a pretty boring one.

I went to art group on Monday. Tuesday, I went to my med management appointment as well as Hearing Voices Group. I also saw my therapist on Tuesday where I gave him a Mandala I colored for him. I informed him that me giving him a piece of art work is a sign of trust. We discussed a specific trauma I had as more of a sign of trust I have in him. I also discussed with him despite the depression and PTSD symptoms I was experiencing that I was checking in with myself regarding having gratitude in my life. My therapist appeared honored that I trusted him with my art work, gratitude in my life and the trauma I shared with him.

I also did a great deal of art work this week. Specifically coloring Mandala’s. I also volunteered three places this week. So I have been keeping myself busy.

The thing I am most proud of is trusting my therapist. Thank you so much for reading. Have a great Saturday night. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is nearly six thirty in the morning in my neck of the woods and Lil Gertie woke me up by licking one of my feet. She obviously had a sixth sense of knowing that I was having a nightmare. She has woken me up whenever I have a PTSD nightmare and I didn’t even train her to do so.

Dealing with nightmares is a part of PTSD that I didn’t have to deal with however it is something I have to deal with. I have learned various was on how to deal with the after affects of a nightmare. Now that I have an emotional support animal in Lil Gertie I can depend on her for help. Just one more thing I can do is depend on my cat, Lil Gertie.

I realize it seems like I talk a great deal about Lil Gertie, lately. It is just that she has helped me so much in the last nearly a month of having her. She has been a great support for me especially during PTSD moments as well as after them.

I am planning on attending art group later on today. I love art group for many reasons. Reasons that I have informed my therapist about. In return he encourages me to attend. I am hoping we do some collaging in art group today.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Good Morning, World

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I got some sleep last night and woke up on this god awful hour because Lil Gertie woke me up form a nightmare. She woke me up with a like on the nose. With her waking me up from the worst part of the nightmare from happening she has done her job and I didn’t have to train her to do that.

I have quite a lot planned today. First I go see my doctor a ten this morning. I am looking forward to seeing her as she has been my doctor for nine years. She is going to do a check up after the attempt to take my own life last week. My doctor is awesome.

I will all so be starting Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) back up today. I am looking forward to this as it gives me the structure and skills I need to help myself. I love being able to help myself with the skills I know how to do has well as the ones I will be learning.

I emailed my therapist about the PTSD stuff and how Lil Gertie has been helpful for me. I attempt to only email him when I think he needs to know something soon. As someone who worked in the mental health field I know from experience that I am more likely respond to an email verses a voicemail.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!