Tag Archives: PTSD

It’s Midnight & I Can’t Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is twelve midnight in my corner of the world and I can not sleep. I am not sure why I can not sleep. I highly dislike not being able to sleep. I have a great deal on my mind but I think I can not sleep due to the fact that it is a combination of PTSD and insomnia.

Right now my depression and PTSD are acting up and I am not sure why. I am pretty sure my poor health isn’t helping the symptoms of my mental health challenges. This stupid weird ass mouth infection is just not conducive to what I have planned.

Maybe, I will turn on some music and do some art. Actually, the genre of art I will be doing is coloring. Not sure what genre of music I will be listening to yet but the decision is in the works.

Have goodnight and hope everyone has a good nights sleep. I hope everyone has a good Monday and work week when they get up for work. Thanks for reading. I really do appreciate people reading my blog. Having regular readers is what helps keep this blog going. Peace Out, World!!!

False Alarms Fucking Suck Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Good Fucking Morning, World. It is three thirty in the fucking morning and I had finally fallen asleep due to being sleepless in Seattle when the building fire alarm goes off. Not only did it scare the shit out of me but it scared the shit out Lil Gertie. It triggered my PTSD and who knows if she has PTSD from this kind of stuff. To make matters worse it was difficult to put her into her already much hated carrier but was finally able to do so. I wasn’t going to leave my poor cat to deal with the noise much less it being an actual fire. Lil Gertie is my life and I need to protect her. All I can say was all that work putting Lil Gertie into her carrier was for nothing because it ended up being a false alarm. Well, better safe than sorry.

My poor cat is hiding in her secret hiding place of my dirty close hamper. If it makes her feel safe then I let her be. Right now she needs her space and I hope she comes out when she feel safe.

Right now I am going to get back into my safe space by reading Wonder Woman comic books. Fire alarms don’t help my mental health especially my PTSD which is why I am going to be reading Wonder Woman comic books to help me chill the fuck out.

I apologize for all the cussing in this post but when it scares my cat and puts her into danger then I am going to be a little angry about it. I have every right to be angry about it and so do my neighbors as someone pulled the fire alarm pull stations on every floor from the basement to the tenth floor of the building.

Thank you for letting me rant and rave about the false alarm. I think I am more upset that it effected my cat. My cat is like my baby. Thank you for reading and hope the day goes well for all of you. I know some of you are just getting up for work while others are still in bed. And some of you have been up for hours working due to the time differences around the world. Have a good day anyway. I appreciate you reading everything I have to say. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is after ten at night in my neck of the woods and realized that I have done multiple post today but not my usual one of a weekly check in. My week honestly has been a pretty boring one.

I went to art group on Monday. Tuesday, I went to my med management appointment as well as Hearing Voices Group. I also saw my therapist on Tuesday where I gave him a Mandala I colored for him. I informed him that me giving him a piece of art work is a sign of trust. We discussed a specific trauma I had as more of a sign of trust I have in him. I also discussed with him despite the depression and PTSD symptoms I was experiencing that I was checking in with myself regarding having gratitude in my life. My therapist appeared honored that I trusted him with my art work, gratitude in my life and the trauma I shared with him.

I also did a great deal of art work this week. Specifically coloring Mandala’s. I also volunteered three places this week. So I have been keeping myself busy.

The thing I am most proud of is trusting my therapist. Thank you so much for reading. Have a great Saturday night. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is nearly six thirty in the morning in my neck of the woods and Lil Gertie woke me up by licking one of my feet. She obviously had a sixth sense of knowing that I was having a nightmare. She has woken me up whenever I have a PTSD nightmare and I didn’t even train her to do so.

Dealing with nightmares is a part of PTSD that I didn’t have to deal with however it is something I have to deal with. I have learned various was on how to deal with the after affects of a nightmare. Now that I have an emotional support animal in Lil Gertie I can depend on her for help. Just one more thing I can do is depend on my cat, Lil Gertie.

I realize it seems like I talk a great deal about Lil Gertie, lately. It is just that she has helped me so much in the last nearly a month of having her. She has been a great support for me especially during PTSD moments as well as after them.

I am planning on attending art group later on today. I love art group for many reasons. Reasons that I have informed my therapist about. In return he encourages me to attend. I am hoping we do some collaging in art group today.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Good Morning, World

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I got some sleep last night and woke up on this god awful hour because Lil Gertie woke me up form a nightmare. She woke me up with a like on the nose. With her waking me up from the worst part of the nightmare from happening she has done her job and I didn’t have to train her to do that.

I have quite a lot planned today. First I go see my doctor a ten this morning. I am looking forward to seeing her as she has been my doctor for nine years. She is going to do a check up after the attempt to take my own life last week. My doctor is awesome.

I will all so be starting Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) back up today. I am looking forward to this as it gives me the structure and skills I need to help myself. I love being able to help myself with the skills I know how to do has well as the ones I will be learning.

I emailed my therapist about the PTSD stuff and how Lil Gertie has been helpful for me. I attempt to only email him when I think he needs to know something soon. As someone who worked in the mental health field I know from experience that I am more likely respond to an email verses a voicemail.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Cat = Help With PTSD

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woken up by Lil Gertie. She licked me smack dab on the nose. Some how this cat knows when I am having a nightmare or some other symptom of PTSD. I’m not sure how she knows but she knows.

I think once I am done blogging this post, I will read. Read about Buddhism. I am learning so many different things about this religion. A religion that knows that you’re going to struggle yet doesn’t shame or guilt you into a being something you are not. It encourages you to strive to be the best you are.

Having a faith in something spiritual is key to being in recovery for anyone. It doesn’t have to be Buddhism or even Christianity. Just as you have faith in something. For me it is Buddhism. Or at least for now it is because I am looking into it, to make sure it is the right faith for me.

Thank you for reading. Have a good morning. Peace Out, World!!!

Kitty Talk Plus Other Stuff

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I was able to get back to sleep after being woken up by my cat early this morning. Lil Gertie did this adorable yet loud meow to wake me up. She woke me up in the middle of a nightmare. A nightmare that is horrific.

I have a job interview today at my previous employer. An interview for a Peer Specialist in their Substance Use Disorder (SUD) program. I am looking forward to the interview. I hope I get the job.

Apparently, Starbucks is closing early today. They are closing early to discuss with their employees about race and racism. It is about fucking time Starbucks discusses this situation. I don’t go into Starbucks because of the employees racist remarks as well as other discriminatory remarks.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Gotta Love My Kitty

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! My cat has this adorable meow that tends to startle me at this hour in the morning. I love her so much. At this hour in the morning all she wants to do is play. She is an amazing little kitty. I’ve noticed she does her cute playful meow this time of morning when I am having a nightmare. I think she does it to wake me up from the nightmare to prevent it from getting worse. I don’t know how animals are able to sense it but they do.

I finally was informed on how much I earned from the advertisements and it is not all that much. I just have to wait to get it till it reaches the one hundred dollar mark to be able to claim it which sucks shit. So if you all can do me a favor and click on the advertisements that would be great.

I think I am going to be doing some scrap booking. Since Lil Gertie got me up, I might as well as be productive. I love making scrap books as they remind me of all the good things that happen in my life. Looking at them helps with the remembering of good things. Good things that are becoming more and more, the older I get.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Tuesday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Cat Therapy = Waiting For My Therapist

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I have been so high anxiety that my therapist is coming to see me later on today. He is an amazing therapist. Part of the reason he is coming is the anxiety but the other is to meet my cat. Yes, he will have another clinician with him which is I think an awesome idea for ethical reasons. In fact he asked if his supervisor could come because she wants to meet Lil Gertie as well. They are also coming to make sure I am keeping my apartment clean which I am doing.

Lil Gertie has be quite helpful for me in regards to my Anxiety and PTSD symptoms. Its like she has a sixth sense of knowing when I am having and flashback and body memory. She comes up to me and snuggles with me. She woke me up from a nightmare by licking my nose. So she is very aware of what is going on with the PTSD side of things. I love Lil Gertie so much.  She knows when to help me.

Thanks so much for reading. It means a great deal to me. Have a great day to everyone of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Lil Gertie, My Lil Fur Baby

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am enjoying the fact that I am a cat parent. Lil Gertie is quite entertaining. When she is not eating or napping she is at my side purring. She has been following me around like a lost little puppy when I am up moving around. Lil Gertie even sits at the door till I get home.

I am looking forward to telling my therapist about Lil Gertie tomorrow. I emailed him about her already and sent some pictures of her to him as well. I am so grateful that I got Lil Gertie as it has she has decreased my symptoms of my mental health diagnoses so soon after getting her. She is doing what she is suppose to be doing.

I need to get going. I am hungry and need to eat. Peace Out, World!!!