Hello, World!!! I’m having a really strong moment of grief. Grief of loosing my grandma. I wish she was still here however I know she is watching over me as my guardian angel.
With the loss of my grandma, I’ve been receiving some great support from friends and fellow peer specialist. Support from people that I didn’t even know that cared. Having folks check in with me has been quite helpful for me.
Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Happy Friday, World!!! As many of you know its been a long week for me. My grandma died on Wednesday. It’s been quite hard for me deal with the grief. Dealing with the loss of my grandma is quite painful.
Gilbert, my therapist, and I talked about the pain, I’m dealing with regarding my grandma’s death. We discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma. I came up with the idea of a tattoo. I love tattoos and hope I can find one to remember my grandma by.
Something else Gilbert and I discussed was what I can do to have some structure this weekend as well as how I am going do some good self care. We talked about blogging and journaling to help with the processing part of my grandma’s death. We also talked about doing art the help me express my emotions. Reading books and comics also came up to help me escape reality in a healthy way for an hour or two at a time. We also discussed music and doing some workbooks.
Doing good self care is key to my recovery and one of those things is to go and eat something. So, I am going to go and get some dinner. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!
The above quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” hits close to home for me. It hits close to home because I am in the process of believing that my dreams will come true. Dreams that will come true with hope and determination. Determination that has helped with my recovery process will help me with my dreams and future.
A future that includes me having a college education that allows me to move up the career ladder. One that will allow me to be much more than a Peer Specialist. One that will allow me to be a Case Manager and/or Therapist. This is why I believe in my dreams. Dreams that I know will come true even if it takes me longer than the average person.
Good Morning, World!!! It is seven fifteen in morning in my corner of the world. I didn’t get much sleep last night because two of my neighbors were arguing last night. When they weren’t arguing they were pounding on each other’s doors and just making it miserable for the rest of us who live on my floor.
I personally think I would have gotten more sleep if I my neighbors weren’t being jerks to each other. In fact, my neighbors yelling at each other severely triggered my PTSD. Almost severely enough to where it nearly put me into crisis mode.
Thankfully, I was able to prevent crisis mode by using my DBT Skills. If it weren’t for my skills I don’t know what I would be doing. I put on my headphones and listened to music to drown out my neighbors screaming while I read. Both of these skills helped me most of the night and didn’t put me into crisis mode.
Another skill that helps me is reading the news paper while drinking some hot tea. Like every day, there was only bad news. Apparently, there is suppose to be a storm coming to Seattle. Not sure if it’s going to happen as it appears that anytime a storm is expected it never happens.
Thank you for reading. Happy Friday!!! Peace Out, World!!!
Hello, World!!! I’m a little buzzed from drinking some alcohol. I normally don’t drink but thought I would have a couple tonight. I don’t like the feeling of being buzzed. Alcohol and my meds usually don’t mix so I’m not sure if I will take them tonight as I don’t want to cause any problems.
Some people would say drinking alcohol during a painful time in my life is not wise and they would be correct. I realize this as I choose to not drink but on an occasional basis. I’m not drinking to make the pain go away or to escape it. I just thought I would enjoy some Irish Cream in my hot chocolate.
I miss my grandma and want to make her proud. I’m not sure how to do that right now but I want to make her proud of me.
Thank you for reading.
Hello, World!!! The last twenty four hours have been quite difficult for my family and I. It has been difficult because of the death of my grandma, yesterday.
As difficult as yesterday was for me, I realized on how much support I have. Support I didn’t realize I had much less folks who actually read my blog. For instance, a shout out to my recovery coach for reading my blog to see how I am doing. Thanks!!! Another shout out to both my case manager and therapist who have been reading my blog on the semi-regular basis to “check-up” on me. Even a shout out to my friends who read my blog to see how I am doing when I haven’t check-in with them.
Having the unexpected folk read my blog is a blessing to me. It’s a blessing because to me it shows they care and concerned for how I am doing especially those who identify as people with lived experience. The power of peer support is amazing.
As amazing as peer support is, I am grateful for it as well as grateful for the professionals in my life. My therapist and case manager are putting back on “daily check-ins” as a preventive measure. A preventive measure to help keep me on the path I want to be on. A path of recovery and to get back to work.
Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World
Good Morning, World!!! Right now I’m giving up on the sleep aspect of the night. I am however not giving up on hope. The hope I finally was able to grasp again after loosing for a long while.
Hope that I am able to show other through my interactions in every aspect of my life. Aspects of my life that I hope my recovery shows through even through the bumps in the road.
I happen to be in the middle of bump in the road with my recovery due to the death of my grandma. I do know that my grandma would want me to work through the pain of her death through hard work.
Okay, enough rambling and I’ll end the post for now. I know I will be okay today. Peace Out, World!!!
Hello, World!!! I’m having trouble sleeping again. Not exactly why I can’t sleep but I have my theories and it can be any combination of things.
One of the reasons why I think I can’t sleep tonight is because of the death of my grandma. My grandma’s death is hitting me harder than I thought it would. Every time I look around my apartment I see my grandma. I see her in pictures. I see her in the baby blanket she made me. I see her in the quilt she made me. I see her pretty much everywhere.
So, I’ve been wrapping myself up my quilt that she had made me for my 25th birthday. I’m feeling closer to her as I wrap myself up in my quilt that she made me. I feel her love. I know she is my guardian angel now.
Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Hope
Hope is something that is needed to be in recovery. If it weren’t for hope I wouldn’t be in recovery and I don’t think I would be writing this blog. The reason being is I think if it weren’t for the hope I have I would have died by suicide. I wrote a poem on hope.
Hope is something
One must desire. With hope recovery is
Possible. It’s possible for
Everyone even if they believe they are too far gone.
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