Tag Archives: Recovery

The Elephant In The Room

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am awake at three o’clock in the morning due to not being able to sleep. Both my insomnia and depression are acting up. Not sure why either are acting up but they are.

When I started to write this post I didn’t know what I was going to write about. So lets discuss the elephant in the room; the two celebrities who died by suicide, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Many people are mourning their sudden and untimely deaths. People are grieving over this and I don’t blame them as it is sad news.

As sad as it is to hear about someone’s death especially when it is death by suicide people start to discuss it a little bit more. I personally think we need to talk about both suicide and mental health conditions more so we can lessen the stigma that goes with it.

If anyone is in crisis and needs to talk the United States National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. I know this number will work in the United States however I am unsure about the rest of the world. I wish I had other crisis numbers for other countries however I do not. Please if you are in a mental health crisis or thinking of killing yourself don’t hesitate to reach out to someone.

Thank you for reading!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Good Morning, World

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up in a depressive state.  A state that I can get out of by the time DBT group happens at one in the afternoon. I am also having some pretty high anxiety at the moment. Anxiety and depression I don’t know why I am having. I have a theory or two but at this point in time I am attempting to do what I need to do to focus on getting out of this anxious and depressive mood.

I’ll hopefully be able to check-in with my therapist today as I think I will  need one due to the anxiety and the depression I am dealing with. I think I am dealing with them due to not getting very much sleep last night. Not sure why I didn’t get very much sleep but that is one of my theories about the anxiety and depression. Checking in with my therapist is something that will help me with this as I want to act effectively when I go to group.

I am looking forward attending DBT group as I am done with my homework. We had to do a chain analysis as well as a diary card. The diary card is no big deal but the chain analysis was the difficult part of the homework. I discussed it with my therapist and he admits it is a difficult part of my homework for the week.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Good Yet Draining Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an emotionally draining day. I saw my therapist today and our session was emotionally draining. He picked up on the fact I didn’t want to discuss the recent death of a neighbor as dealing with death is difficult for me. Hell, dealing with death is difficult for everyone. Or at least everyone that I know of. We discussed my DBT homework as well. We discussed what behavior I was working on regarding my DBT homework and my therapist liked the idea that I wasn’t waiting for the last minute to do my DBT Homework. He is also going to be assigning me homework but is unsure what he is going assign me as homework and will let me know tomorrow.

Overall, it has been a great day. I got home from therapy and Lil Gertie has been by my side giving me support. I have also been working on one of my workbooks which has been quite helpful with making my day a little bit better. I have also talked with friends and had dinner with two of them. It’s always nice to be able to talk to and/or spend time with friends who care.

I think I am going to be doing some art work. Specifically painting. I will be painting on canvas as well as in one of my scrap books. I love being able to do art work. Art helps me a great deal. It helps me express my emotions on what I am unable to get out verbally.

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Getting Ready For The Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here writing this post at my laptop, I am figuring out what I need to for the day as I see my therapist. I want to make sure I take what I need on things I want to show him as well as discuss with him. He appreciates when I bring things in to discuss. An example or two is art work, poetry and even my scrap book. Showing him these things brings on conversations. Conversations that helps my therapist get to know me better as he is still new to me. Conversations that also bring out things that I need discuss and that is important in my recovery. One thing we will be discussing for sure is my depression. Depression that appears to want to go away but still sticking around.

I am not sure what I am going to do after my therapy appointment. That is yet to be determined but I have some idea’s. Ideas I have is come home and just chill. While another idea is to hang out with friends. I like the idea of coming home and hanging out with my cat but that means I will be isolating. Isolation is never good for me.  I think I might go to a peer run group at a peer run agency that is fully funded by grants.

I should get going and eat breakfast. Have a great day. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Hump Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I have been awake since three thirty in the morning Seattle time. It is now five thirty in the morning Seattle time. I wish I could go back to sleep however I am unable to do so. I wish sleep came easily for but it doesn’t.

It is hump day (Wednesday) as many of you know. This means the week is half over. It is hard to believe how fast time flies even when you don’t have much going on in your life. I like Wednesdays as they are a reflective day for me. Not sure why they tend to be reflective but they are.

I am not really sure what I am going to do today as I have nothing really planned. I know that I need to do some lite housework so that is on the to do list. As much as I dislike doing house work, it gives me a sense of accomplishment after it is done.

I’m also most likely going to be reading. I am not sure what book I will be reading but I will be reading. It helps me get out of my head. I have a gut feeling that reading will be the go to skill I will be using today as I am really in my head at the moment.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Some Random Thoughts

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am trying to type and Lil Gertie is apparently the one wanting to post. I love having a cat that is so lovey dovey.  Having Lil Gertie as an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful for me. I think I would have ended up back in the Emergency Room for self harm thoughts if it weren’t for her. Yes, I know it’s a lot to put on a cat but she is doing her job. A job of preventing me from self harm and/or going in and out of the emergency room for thoughts of self harm. (Side Note: No I don’t feel like self harming at the moment nor am I suicidal.)

I have been scrap booking some of the day. I have even painted in one of my scrapbooks. I have found that putting together scrap books have a god send to me with helping the self harm urges. I say this as putting together scrap books helps me remember the good things in my life.

I talked with my grandpa today. He is on a trip and having a fun time. When he gets back from his trip, we will go out to eat as we normally do every week. I love spending time with my grandpa.

I don’t have much else to say. Have a wonderful evening. Peace out, world!!!

Afternoon Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am sitting here at day treatment bored half out of my mind. I did get my hair cut which is a good thing. It feels more like a summer cut now.

I am looking forward to what this summer has to bring. Summer is my favorite time of year. The sunny weather actually helps with my depression. I just love the fact that the days are longer and it is warmer outside.

My interview yesterday went extremely well. It went so well that I think I might be getting the part time position. I hope I do get as I miss working a great deal. I miss the clients and being able to be of help to others.

My depression has been acting up and I am just ready for it go the fuck away. Sorry but not sorry for the cussing as it is the best way describe how I feel about the depression. Depression sucks shit but that is why I have skills to help me through the depression.

I am going to get going as other people in day treatment want to use the computer and I have a laptop at home I can use. As always, thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Just A Bunch Of Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I wonder at times on how many people really read my blog and if it is worth continuing to blog. I know it is worth continuing to blog, I am just having my doubts at the moment.

On a good note Lil Gertie is purring up a storm. She has been by my side most of the night. She slept right next to me. I love my cat so much. I am thrilled that I got her.

Right now, living with a mental health condition is driving me bonkers. It is driving me bonkers because of all the doubting I am having about myself. Doubting that I know is related to some old stinking thinking. Stinking thinking that sucks and I know that I will have to stop it as soon as possible or it could get worse for me.

Today, I am not sure exactly what I am going to do. I just felt like blogging at the moment. I think I’ll work on my workbooks for the good portion of the day. I also think I am going to be doing some scrap booking today. Both activities have been quite helpful for me and my thinking.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Evening Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I don’t have much to say in this post or at least I don’t think I do at this current moment in time. I say this as I don’t know what I have to say at the moment.

I have been watching the Stanley Cup finals as I am sort of a fan of hockey. My team may not be in it to get the Stanley Cup but I am rooting the for the underdog; Las Vegas Golden Knights. I love the fact they weren’t even suppose to make it to the play offs much less to the actual Stanley Cup games.

As I have mentioned in my previous post I had my job interview today. They have two job openings open. One is full time while the other is part time. I hope I get the part time job as that will be best for me to do.

I figured out what I am going to do my DBT homework on. Part of the homework that is due is to do a chain analysis. I am going to do a chain analysis on my behavior in Day Treatment today. Granted it wasn’t all that “bad” however I feel like I need to a chain analysis.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Interview Went Well

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am now done with my interview at my previous employer. I think it went well. As with any job interview I had some anxiety that automatically goes with it. I say my anxiety was there but not as high as I thought it was going to be.

I am now at day treatment in my interview clothes waiting for Art Group. Art Group starts at one in the afternoon and it is now twelve thirty in the afternoon. I always look forward to Art therapy as it helps me express myself with what I am trying to say verbally.

As far as the group I am going to do at a volunteer job, I haven’t decided yet. I am either going to do it on grief or on self harm. Both topics can and are difficult to discuss and deal with. That is why I am thinking if I should offer to co-facilitate another group with someone and see how that goes.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!