Still High Anxiety

Good Afternoon, World!!! I missed therapy today due to the fact my anxiety was too high. My therapist did check-in with me and we discussed my anxiety. We figured out that part of my anxiety was due to the PTSD. We also found that the last time my anxiety was this bad was over a year ago and is major improvement. I love it when there is a silver lining in things.

Besides dealing with anxiety, I have figured out some things about my money situation. Figuring out the money situation is a huge relief for me. Knowing that I have things in place as a just in case is a huge relief.

I think I am going to call some friends and see if they want to hang out. Maybe go and have a late lunch or something. Most of my friends tend to love to eat.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

A High Anxiety Monday

Hello, World!!! I am struggling so much with anxiety that I am unable to make it to my therapy appointment. I am not sure why my anxiety is acting up so badly but it is. It hasn’t acted up so badly to where I am unable to make it to an appointment especially therapy. Just as long as it is not this bad tomorrow I’ll be okay.

I say just as long as it is not this bad tomorrow, I’ll be okay because I have a job interview tomorrow. It is job I really want and one I think I would be good at. That is why I hope my anxiety isn’t this high tomorrow.

I found out this morning that it could take up to three weeks to find out how much I made from the advertisements on my blog. That means at least another month with them. Depending how much I make all depends if I keep them. I may not keep them as I don’t like them but I need the extra money.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Awake in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after five thirty in the morning and I still haven’t been to sleep. Yes, I have attempted to get to sleep, I just was unable to do so. I even took my Ambien to be able to sleep and still a no go at the oh so elusive sleep.

Despite getting no sleep I have managed to stay busy. I pretty much stayed busy by reading. Reading appears to be one of my go to activities as of lately. I enjoy reading immensely.

Even though I read most of the night, it still didn’t take my anxiety away a hundred percent. I am worried about money like many people around the world are. I am worried that my tax refund check won’t get here in time to pay the rent. I know I am most likely worried about nothing but I am worried.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

SNL + Wonder Woman = Reduced Anxiety

Hello, World!!! At this moment in time I am watching Saturday Night Live (SNL). For me SNL helps me with my anxiety. Tonight the anxiety is involving money and my taxes. I am worried it is going to get lost in the mail. I should have had it directly deposited into my account but I didn’t.

Besides watching SNL, I plan on reading Wonder Woman comic books. Wonder Woman my be a fictional character but she is a sign of strength for me. She is so much of a symbol of strength for me that I am thinking about getting a Wonder Woman tattoo.

I should get going and watch SNL. Have a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

Midnight Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I have trouble comprehending why I have such a difficult time at night. Not just with sleep but with the symptoms of anxiety and depression. I am struggling a little bit with depression and anxiety relating to PTSD. Dealing with symptoms this time of night when your natural supports are unavailable for whatever reason can be difficult and challenging for me.

As challenging as it is for me right now, I know what I can do to help myself. I can turn to my coping skills. Coping skills that have helped me a great deal throughout my recovery. Coping skills that will continue to help me even in this moment in time.

One of the things I will do is color. As any type of art has helped me a great deal. In fact I’ll probably end doing some collaging as well because it helps me put words to my emotions.

Another thing I will be doing is a mindfulness and meditation practice as this helps quiet my mind. It puts me in a better head space. A head space that is at least in neutral gear.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Thursday Evening Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! Today, has been a relatively good day despite dealing with anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression that hasn’t been as bad as it has in recent days and weeks. I owe that to the sunny weather here in Seattle. Sunny weather always helps with the symptoms of my mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Art also has helped with my anxiety and depression lifting. For example creating my coping skills box was an awesome art project for me. Having a specific art project to focus appears to be of help to me even though doing any art is helpful.

Something I think I am going to do after blogging is reading. As I have mentioned before I enjoy reading. Reading has been helpful for me as well to reduce the symptoms of my depression and anxiety.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Sunny In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop staring out my front room window and it is going to be a beautiful day here in Seattle. Sunny days in Seattle are one of the reasons I love Seattle so much. Many people who live in Seattle like to claim it is rainy a dreary more often than it is because we are extremely protective of our city. It is a beautiful city especially when it is sunny outside.

I am pretty sure with it being sunny outside it is going to be of help to my depression symptoms. Symptoms that appear that will not go away. I know eventually that my depression symptoms will subside in time.

One way I have been combating my depression is going walks twice daily. Walking twice daily has helped my depression a great deal. Yes, I walk when the weather is yucky outside. Walking not only helps with my depression symptoms, it also helps with my anxiety symptoms a great deal.

Art has also been helping a lot with both my depression and anxiety symptoms. Doing art helps me express my emotions when I am unable to verbalize it. It may not appear to you that I have trouble verbalizing my emotions but I do and that is why art is so important to me.

Reading has also helped a great deal with the symptoms of anxiety and depression. Reading helps me get out of my head and forget my issues in a healthy way for a moment or two. It helps because being able to forget for a few moments gets me in a better mind set.

Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. Have a great day everyone.  You’re awesome!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write a List

 

Things I’ve Learned…

  • To play the flute
  • Recovery is non-linear
  • To laugh at myself when life gets tough
  • Books are usually better than the movie
  • Some movies based a superhero’s suck shit
  • Recovery is difficult but sure in the hell a lot more fun
  • Music soothes the soul
  • Reading is a lot more fun that television
  • Going for walks reduces anxiety for me
  • I’m stronger than I think I am

Gertie & Their Job Search

Gertie is getting quite anxious as of lately. Primarily because they have too much time on their hands or that is what they think and I agree. Gertie does better when they are working. Preferably working at a job that has  meaning to them. When they are working their anxiety and depression symptoms are much better.

Gertie is waiting to hear back from the place they had an interview last week. While they are waiting to hear back they have been applying for other jobs. Jobs that will give them a purpose in their life. With Gertie focusing on getting a job some of their symptoms have subsided.

Having Gertie’s symptom’s subsiding slightly is a good thing for them and I personally am thrilled that they are dealing better. They aren’t doing as well as they want to be doing but is doing better and they will take that.

 

 

An Emergency Room (E.R) Post

Good Morning, World!!! As I type this post, I am sitting in the emergency room (E.R) in pain and typing with one hand as I hit a brick wall. I hit a brick wall because I was feeling high anxiety as well as fear. I was feeling his way because of PTSD symptoms. PTSD symptoms that were and are quite overwhelming.

Symptoms that I will be discussing with my therapist today when I see him. I’ll also be discussing my self harm actions. Actions that need to be discussed as I didn’t reach out to anybody when I first had urges to self harm this morning.

I did attempt to use my DBT skills. First of all I blogged. After posting my last post I ended up reading my book. Both blogging and reading helped but I obviously needed to reach out to somebody and/or needed to use more skills so I wouldn’t have punched a brick wall.

I should get going as I am in the emergency room getting my hand looked at. I’ll post again later. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World