Tag Archives: PTSD

Phuck This Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, once again, World!!! I was almost asleep when the stupid fire alarm decided to go off once again. This time it was a malfunctioning fire alarm. So apparently, sleep is not in the cards for me.  Having the fire alarm go off five times sucks shit. Three off those times was due to the fire alarm malfunctioning while the other two time people decided to cook food while doing drugs and caught their stove on fire.

So, since it is apparent that I won’t be getting any sleep, I plan on going to day treatment instead of staying home. That means I will be going to art group. Hopefully, I will be able to meet with my therapist for about fifteen minutes to check in with him after what happened to me last night at the hospital.

I guess all that has happened since going to the hospital yesterday afternoon and the frequent fire alarms at home are getting to me. Getting to me enough that I need to not be in isolation mode. That is why I am going to day treatment and then art group.

Everything that has gone on has triggered my PTSD greatly. Having triggered PTSD sucks shit. I wish I didn’t have PTSD. In fact anyone who has PTSD wishes they didn’t have it.

Thank you for reading my blog. Even though its the third post in just barely over three hours. It is greatly appreciated. Have a great week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

It Has Been Five Months

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night which is quite annoying. As annoying as it is to be sleepless in Seattle, today is good and happy day. It is good and happy day because today marks the five month anniversary of me adopting my cat, Lil Gertie. She is an emotional support animal and is extremely intuitive to my emotional needs.

It has been a blessing to have Lil Gertie in my life and am more than pleased that i was able to give Lil Gertie a forever home. Lil Gertie has been in-tuned with my emotional needs since day one but as time goes on, she is becoming more intuitive to my needs especially when it comes to my Anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

Lil Gertie sure loves her wet food. She always begs for it at the same time everyday even though she has dry food available to her 24 hours day. She is not afraid to wake me up when she thinks it is time to be fed her wet cat food. She is one spoiled little cat. Lil Gertie, knows she is queen bee of the house hold. I am really happy that I was able to give Lil Gertie a forever home. She is an amazing little cat and very calm except for when it comes to fireworks and the fire alarm.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things for you reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. Peace Out World!!!

Is It Too Much To Ask For Some Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, once again, World!!! I did manage to get about an hour worth of sleep in before my cat, Lil Gertie, woke me up from a nightmare. She either licks my nose or one of my big toes to wake me up from a nightmare. Yes, any part of a nightmare sucks, I am just happy that Lil Gertie, is insistent in waking me up from one especially at the beginning, I never taught her to do this as I have only had her for five months today and she is about six and a half years old.

So when I got up, I decided to work on one of my workbooks. I find it helpful to work on one of my workbooks as it puts me into a better state of mind. A recovery state of mind. I am working on one that focuses on recovery related to mental health challenges. It is nothing new to me as I have been a part of the recovery movement for awhile now, it is just helpful as a reminder to myself on where I want to be in life.

Okay on to the last bit of the post which I a sure many of you are sick of hearing about. I have advertisements on my blog to help bring in extra cash for me to spend on people for gifts during the holidays. I started doing this before I got my new job but I am going to continue to do it as my new job is an on call job and don’t know how many hours I will be getting once I am done with all the training’s I have to attend to. So I guess what I am asking is that you my reader click on an add or two, once or twice a week to help me bring in extra cash to help pay for gift for friends and family for the holidays as well as bills for the rest of the year.

I am going to attempt to go back to sleep now that it is four o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I hope everyone has a good night sleep or has had a good night sleep. I also hope everyone has good Saturday and weekend. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. Have a wonderful day with whatever you do. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Frustrating Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is just after two in the morning in my corner of the world. My anxiety and PTSD are acting up big time because the building fire alarm went off once again. And once again I had to get Lil Gertie, my cat, into her carrier to evacuate the building. Only this time it was not a false alarm nor a malfunction. Someone’s apartment caught on fire due to the person falling asleep with a cigarette. Thankfully everyone got out safely and uninjured.

Now that I am back in my apartment, the first thing I did was calm down Lil Gertie as the alarm freaks her out. Now that she is calmed down I am reading a fantasy book. I am enjoying the book so far. I am only on the second chapter. I will tell you more about it in a later post.

Now, I think I am going go back to bed and attempt to sleep. I hope everyone has good night sleep. Good night and peace out world!!!

Still Sleepless In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Yes, it is still morning in my neck of the world. It is now 7:15 in the morning in Seattle and I still haven’t been to sleep even though I have tried many times and many ways.

As I mentioned in my last post, I used meditation and mindfulness practices as well as meds. I did take an extra dose of both my anxiety meds and sleeping meds with permission from the doctor on call yet it didn’t help. I also attempted to watch television that is know for it’s comedy and humor which helps a good portion of the time but this time it didn’t help like I was wanting it to.

So, what I decided to do next was to spend time with my cat as she is quite helpful with helping me with my PTSD and anxiety and she helped a great deal. She is now sleeping next to me in my chair as I write this post.

Another thing I have been doing is hopes to help me sleep is reading. I have been reading comic books. Specifically, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books as Wonder Woman gives me sense of strength to do what I need to do. Yes, I know I am getting strength from a fictional character but if it helps me with whatever I am going through which on this moment is attempting trying to get to sleep then I’ll use it.

So, as I say good morning (and goodnight again) I hope you all have a good day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Have an awesome day. Peace out, world!!!

Needing Some Zzz’s In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is 2:30 in the morning in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep despite everything I have tried to get to sleep. Let’s begin what I know is keeping me up and the corrupts are anxiety and PTSD. Both really suck any time of day especially when you are trying to get to sleep.

Now lets get to how I have attempted to get to sleep so far. I started off with taking some Melatonin and then doing both a mindfulness and meditation practice after watching late night television. Late night television is quite helpful for me with my sleep as humor and comedy help a great deal as does doing mindfulness and meditation practices after late night television. I decided to take melatonin for the first time and took it an hour before I knew I was going to go to bed. Unfortunately, melatonin, late night television with humor and comedy as well as mindfulness and meditation practices didn’t help me get to sleep. So, that is when I took my anxiety medicine in hopes that it would help me get sleepy enough to get to sleep. Sadly this did not work either. So, I tried my new sleeping med and it appears that it is not working either. It is quite frustrating for me to not be able to sleep. My next step is take a benadryl and watch M*A*S*H in hopes that it can be helpful for some sleep.

Well, I hope everyone has a good night or morning or evening depending where they are in the world. I am saying goodnight in hopes to getting some sleep. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you read my blog. I am grateful for each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Manic Monday Madness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!!  I don’t deal with bipolar however, I think I was Manic a little bit earlier. I am trying to get my Medicaid straightened out and it appears there was an error on DSHS which they acknowledge and they will be paying the bill for the service that should have been already.

After dealing with DSHS, I went and informed my therapist of what had. He agrees that the information I got was quite confusing him. So he is going to take me to the DSHS office on Friday to get clarity when my medicaid got turn backed on. I have it but nobody agrees of when it started. I did talk to my therapist about other shit like the PTSD and the grief.  It was overall a good session with him. It was extremely helpful for me today.

I didn’t art group like wanted to because I was too tired. Yes, I wanted to go but I was too tired so I came home and took a nap, The  nap was refreshing.  I can do art her at home.

I don’t know what else to write about at the moment. I feel like that today was full of madness due to all the red tape I had to deal with today. Thank you for reading  my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Today has been an overall good day despite dealing with PTSD and grief. I spent time with my grandpa today. We watched the Seattle Storm play against the Washington Mystics in the WNBA championship. Of course the Storm beat the Mystics and are just one game away from winning the championship. As we watched the basketball game we fixed hamburgers and french fries for a meal. It turned out great. In fact I had fun watching the game and eating with my grandpa.

Tomorrow, I see my therapist and will be discussing with him about the grief and PTSD I have been dealing with as of lately.  I am sure he would be more than willing to discuss these issues with me as they have been giving me the most trouble.

I do not have much more to say as today has been a lazy and good day even while dealing with grief and PTSD. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. I hope to blog again tomorrow. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Night Turns Into Morning

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I didn’t sleep at all last night and it now six forty five in the morning in my corner of the world. I am struggling at the moment not only because I had a sleepless. I am also struggling with some severe PTSD as well as grief over my grandma’s death nearly seven months ago.

I am planning on spending time with family today. Not because I am dealing with the grief of my grandma but because it is something my grandma wanted as her last wish. For her family to spend time together on the regular basis. I am not sure if I am wanting to go due to the lack of sleep however I will go due to it being the wish of my grandma.

I am not sure what else I am going to do today but I plan on doing something. Most likely I will attempt to take a nap due to the lack of sleep I got last night. I also plan on doing some grocery shopping and laundry. I, of course will play with Lil Gertie, my cat.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early To Be Up On A Saturday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is six o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I have been awake since about three this morning when my cat woke me up from a nightmare by licking my toes. Some how my cat knows when I am having a nightmare and wakes me up before it can get any worse.

I did make me a nice breakfast and just finished eating it. I had scrambled eggs, bacon and French toast. I gave Lil Gertie, my cat, a little piece of bacon. She appeared to enjoy the bacon. She deserved the piece of bacon since she did wake me up from a nightmare.

I just wish I could go back to sleep. Going back to sleep would be nice. Maybe I can take a nap later on before I go to my volunteer job. I don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am talking with people on a help line.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is so very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I hope you all can find something to do to enjoy the world around you. Peace Out, World!!!!