Tag Archives: Reading

Weekly Check In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have realized that doing a weekly check in with you my reader has helped me a great deal than you. I also realize that doing a weekly check in keeps you up to date on how things are going for me. It also helps with keeping you somewhat interested in continuing to read my blog. Yes, I know it is a bit selfish on my part however I know from experience when I follow a blog and the person doesn’t blog for awhile I tend to loose interest and I don’t want you to loose interest even though it is just about my boring ass life.

Now that I bored you on why I am doing weekly check ins again, let me bore you on what happened in my life this past week. I really didn’t do much this past week. I found myself doing art related stuff. Mainly, I colored and did some painting. I got inspired to do some painting by watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. Granted, I didn’t do anything Bob Ross did and did an abstract painting.

Another thing I mostly did this week was read. I am reading How to Be an Antiracist. I am really enjoy the book. I am learning a great deal. I hope when I am finished with the book that I do a book review on it. I also hope that if I remember to blog at work during a slow moment that I tell you what I have learn thus far from the book.

Something I did this week was attend a writing class I am in. I love the writing class and am learning a great deal about characters and how to build a scene. I am enjoying the class immensely and will be sad when it ends in two weeks.

Sadly, something that didn’t happen this week was Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. I was so looking forward to group. Even though it is not easy to do and I have to take responsibility for my actions, I like the group.

The one thing the writing class and DBT group have in common is homework. I enjoy doing “homework” as it helps me build the structure I need for my everyday life as well as my recovery. Sadly, the homework for my writing class will end when the class ends.

Another thing I did was see my therapist. It was a good session. We scheduled an appointment for next week for three o’clock but forgot if it was for Tuesday or Thursday. But it something I can confirm on Monday which is something I will do.

The one thing I have also been doing is applying for new jobs. I really like my current job but it is the hours I don’t like. I am not fond of working a twelve hour night shift but at least it is job and am grateful for it. I just need a job that is not twelve hours and/or at night. In fact I a work tonight. I do enjoy my job.

I do not have much more to check in about. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Friday the 13th Post

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday the 13th, World!!! I am enjoying my evening but sadly, I do not think I will be able to see the full moon tonight as it is cloudy here in Seattle. Yes, it would be nice to see a full moon on Friday the 13th and the next one isn’t for another thirty years but I remember the last one which is cool thing. The last one happened when I was twenty one and the next one wont happen till I am seventy which I find interesting.

One of the things I have been enjoying is watching the television show The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. Watching Bob Ross is soothing for me to watch. It also inspires me to paint. I wish I could paint as well as Bob Ross and able to paint scenery like him. Maybe I should attempt to paint one of his painting but at this point in time I don’t have want it takes to buy the supplies. I am only able to afford some art supplies but not all.

Beside watching Bob Ross, I have been reading the book How to Be an Antiracist. I only read three chapters today and wish I would have read more. Maybe that is something I can do tonight since I am going to be up tonight so I can sleep tomorrow since I work a twelve hour night shift tomorrow night. I can also read when it is slow at work tomorrow night. I love reading especially something that I can educate myself on and to be a better ally to people.

I do not have much more to blog about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday the 13th as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

The Cool Day of Friday the 13th w/a Full Moon

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday the 13th, World!!! It is Friday the 13th and we are going to have a full moon. I know it is a rarity but I don’t understand why people are so superstitious about it. It is just another day that happens to have moon that is full. I actually tend to have good luck on Friday the 13th but I really don’t put much stock into it being a particular day.

Overall, I am having an okay type of day. Some of my depression symptoms are acting up but not too badly which is a good thing. I haven’t exactly been isolating but I also haven’t been reaching out to people. I have been selectively engaging with some form of human contact. I am doing this just because I don’t want to deal with a lot of drama.

Since I don’t want to deal with drama or a lot of people, I have been spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I am loving the fact that she has been extra cuddly today. I think she knows I will be away for more than twelve hours tomorrow night due to work. Either that or she knows my depression symptoms are starting to increase. Whatever her reason, I am grateful for my cats, Lil Gertie’s, unconditional love as well as her being extra cuddly today.

Something I have been doing today is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason his show is soothing to me. I wish I could paint the way he paints but that doesn’t matter as just watching him paint as he explains his technique is soothing and a form of self care for me.

I think what I am going to do after blogging, eating dinner and watching the five o’clock news is to read the book “How to Be an Antiracist.” I am learning a great deal from this book and hope to share what I have learned once I am done with the book. Hell, I might tell you what I have learned so far in another blog post.

I do not have much more to say and will in this blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday the 13th as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post w/Random Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is mostly a typical Monday for me. I, mostly a typical Monday as a couple things today aren’t so typical for me. Both of the things that aren’t that typical involve both of my parents.

Lets start with my mom. Today is her 63rd birthday. A birthday I wasn’t sure was going to happen more times I can count due to her addiction to drugs and alcohol. I feared for her life more of her addiction to drugs than alcohol because that seems to be the thing she goes to when things get too stressful for her. Even though I set some clear boundaries with in regards to talking with her on the phone, I did call her to wish her a happy birthday. She is my mom and I love her. If I were a parent, I would want my kid to make an exception in this case. My mom was happy I called her and thanked me for as well as thanked me for her birthday present.

Now on to my other parent, my dad. As I have informed you in other blog post my dad’s health hasn’t been the best and he is in the hospital. I have good news about my dad and his health. He is getting out of the hospital tomorrow (Tuesday). I am so grateful he is getting out of the hospital tomorrow and that he is in better health.

As much as I love both of my parents, I am beyond grateful that I learned about recovery from both of them. Granted my mom is not in active recovery while my dad is, I still learned about recovery from both of them. If it wasn’t for seeing them in their addiction as a way to deal with symptoms of their mental health challenges it made me acutely aware of how I don’t want to deal with any of my problems including my own mental health challenges. Even though I never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol I did end up having different unhealthy ways of coping with my problems and mental health challenges.

The unhealthy ways of coping are the reason why I learned how to make sure I do good self care. There are many ways I do good self care. One of the ways I do good self care is to take my meds. In fact I have to go pick up my refills today. While I am out and about one of the things I will also do is go buy some incense. I find incense soothing.

In fact one of the things I plan on doing later is to burn incense while I read a book called “How to Be an Antiracist.” I am really enjoying the book. I am learning so much more than I expected regarding race and how to be an ally from this book than I ever realized I could. I hope to learn more as I continue to read this book. In fact have more books about race I am going to be reading. Any way to educate myself about other experience is a way to become a better ally and friend.

I do not have much else to talk about. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Don’t forget to do good self care. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Night Post

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! It is Friday night in my corner of the world. Friday nights I usually stay up all night so I can sleep all day on Saturdays. I sleep all day on Saturdays because I work a twelve hour shift on Saturday night. Working nights reeks havoc on my sleep even if I only do work one night a week and that sucks.

As far as my plans to stay up tonight is the obvious of spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I love spending time with my cat and being able to give her attention as well as play with her when she is more likely to let me do that stuff which at night. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I can not imagine my life with out her.

Besides spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie, I plan on reading the “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi. So far I have only read the introduction and chapter one. What I have read so far, I think I am going to like the book as well as learn a great deal. Something I want to do as a white person is to become a better ally for people of color. I will also be reading other books of similar nature. Specifically, about race and how I can be a better ally.

I, of course will be doing other things besides reading tonight and that stuff will be doing some form of art as I listen to a podcast. Not sure what type of podcast I will be listening to but the art I will most likely be doing tonight is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and listening to podcast.

Before I end this post I want to update you on my dads health as well as my health. My dad is now out of Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and on a regular medical floor. This happened today and am so grateful for his improvement. He wants to go home but has to stay in the hospital a few more days. As far as my health issues of a kidney infection and a urinary tract infection (uti); they seem to be getting better with the help of a very strong antibiotic. An antibiotic that is making me nauseous but thankfully I have an anti-nausea med to help with that.

I do not have anything else to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Wednesday Evening Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am still dealing with increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and have emailed my therapist regarding it. I emailed my therapist regarding the increased symptoms just to have him be aware of the situation even though I personally think the increased mental health symptoms are due to the health issues I am dealing with. The health issues I am dealing with happen to be a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection.” It is not uncommon for me to have an increase mental health symptoms whenever I have an UTI which just makes things the much more uncomfortable. My therapist emailed me back about the email sent him about me struggling and he too “hope symptoms improves” as my infections improve. I am grateful that I have a therapist that is supportive.

I just got back from Red Robin with a friend who lives in my apartment building. I treated my friend to Red Robin as a thank you for putting up with my shit. My friend is an awesome individual and extremely caring. She was and is very appreciative of me taking her to Red Robin. We ended up having the same thing at Red Robin which was The Whiskey Barbecue Burger with bottomless fries. She had an ice tea to drink while I had a freckled lemonade which is strawberry lemonade. It was nice to spend time with a good friend at my favorite restaurant.

When I arrived home from dinner at Red Robin with my friend, I noticed that the three books I ordered from Amazon arrived. Thankfully, they left them outside my apartment door instead of outside the apartment building door. The three books I ordered are about race as I want to be a better ally to people of color. I also order two more books from Amazon about race. One of which should arrive tomorrow and the other book is on back order and should arrive at the end of September. I am going to start off reading the book “How To Be An AntiRacist” by Ibram X. Kendi. I will let you know how the book is and will do a book review on it. Reading is one of my go to things to help my mental health symptoms and anytime I can be educated on anything is a plus. I really hope I can get a better understanding about race as I want to be the best ally I can be. If anyone has any books about race to suggest, it would be greatly appreciated. Remember, I have three that arrived today including the one I mention, two on the way from Amazon and one in my Amazon cart. So, if you suggest a book that I may have or will have don’t take offence if I say something that “I have it” or “its on the way” or “its in the cart.” I look forward to all the good reads.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good rest of your evening as well as your week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Wednesday Afternoon Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! At this very moment the symptoms of my Depression and PTSD and am grateful that I am able to nip it in the butt with skills I normally do. Sadly, I am not going to my writing group because I am not feeling well physically which is probably why I am having an increase of Depression and PTSD symptoms. Part of why I am not feeling well is because I according my doctor I have a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection” which sucks and the antibiotic I am taking is making me nauseous. I really don’t like being or feeling sick but at least I am not in the hospital.

Being in the hospital sucks and since we are on the subject of hospitals, my dad is still in one. He is on the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of a local hospital here in the Seattle area. His surgery went well and he is healing well from it. Sadly, my dad has fluid on the lungs and the doctors are trying to get rid of it. My dad has a history of pneumonia and is still in the hospital as a precautionary thing and is receiving IV antibiotics.  My dad is feeling better and wants to go home. He is eating solid food and the doctors say its okay that my dad drinks Diet Mt. Dew. So, I know my dad is feeling better when he wants his Diet Mt. Dew. I just wish the fluid on my dads lungs would hurry up at resolve.

I saw my therapist yesterday (Tuesday) and we discussed my increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and he is in agreement that the increased in symptoms are likely in part to my current health issues with my UTI and kidney infections. We discussed on ways that I could feel better as well as skill I could use to help with my increased mental health symptoms. One of the things my therapist and I discussed was the amount of time I was spending on social media, specifically Facebook because I am just aimlessly scrolling it as a way to help myself but it is becoming more of a hindrance for some of my symptoms. We talked about going on Facebook with a purpose like to post or say hi to someone and limit the time I am on Facebook. We discussed other things I could do instead which led me to having a conversation with my therapist about book suggestions I got from both white and people of color friends about race in America. We discussed that I as a white person one to better understand my white privilege and how I can be a better ally for not only friends but my clients who are people of color. I told him that I am expecting three books about race and racism as well as white privilege at some point today via Amazon. My therapist was “impressed” that I am wanting to improve myself and understanding of race and he “feels” that with me doing this will help me stay off Facebook and build a more meaningful type of structure I need for my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I am wanting to educate myself to understand race, racism and white privilege here in America. We also discussed other ways to structure my time to help with my PTSD and depression symptoms. I really like my therapist and am grateful to have him as a clinician.

I don’t have much more to say. I just hope the books arrive today as “guaranteed” by Amazon so I can get to reading the books I ordered from them. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Wednesday as well as their work week. Peace Out, World!!!

An Early Sunday Morning Post At Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As, I write this blog post, I am at work. As I may or may not have told you, I work at a homeless shelter for young adults (18-25). My shifts are once a week at night for twelve hours. The first two and a half hours as well as the last two and a half hours are the hours that the busiest and the seven hours in between are the slowest as well as the most boring. As much as it is boring and slow, I find things to keep me occupied. Yes, I do have work things to do which I do however I also get to do other things like blog, color, reading, and go on Facebook. Right now, I am listening to music as write this blog post. I am listening to my childhood play list on Spotify.

This past week has been one of isolation due to the symptoms of my depression. With that being said, I did go to DBT group on Thursday and therapy on Friday. DBT group went well. We discuss a great deal especially on the skill of Mindful of Current Emotion. It was nice to have discussed this particularly because I tend to not want to be mindful of my emotions as they tend to be painful. As far as therapy on Friday it turned out to be a difficult yet extremely productive session. We discussed a couple of things that needed to talked about and through. My therapist even referred me to another group. A group that I did several years ago but willing to do it again as I am in agreement with my therapist that it could be helpful.

Something else I did this past week was order some coloring pages from Stuff2Color.com. I am looking forward to starting some new coloring project and hopefully have them finished by Christmas so I could give them as gifts to others. On the plus note about the coloring as it is helpful for me as it tends to be a type of mindfulness for me.

I am looking forward to later today so I can start reading a new book a colleague has lent me. It is about a story of a young person who is experiencing some hardships. So, of course it is something that is of interest of me. Reading someone else’s story is something that inspires me as well as it gives me hope.

Since, I do not have much more to write about, I am going to end this blog post. But before I go I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope every has a wonderful day of them as well as an awesome week ahead. I know I plan on having a good week despite having some unwanted chores and errands ahead for the week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Monday Evening Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post today was and still is a day for me do good self care. So far doing good self care has been challenging to do however it is something that continues to be accomplished. The most challenging of the self care acts was that of taking a shower. Not sure why it has been the most challenging but it was. I did take a shower shortly after my last post and am grateful that I accomplished it.

As accomplished as I feel taking a shower, I feel just as accomplished with the other things I have done today. In fact, I did a great deal of walking today and feel proud that I walked as much as I did today. In fact all the walking I did today led me to walking to a park and enjoying myself there.

When I was at the park, I was there for about an hour and a half. I just sat there enjoying the beauty of the park as well as read. I read some comic books. In fact the comic books I read today at the park were Wonder Woman. If you have been reading my blog for awhile you are well aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I have been a Wonder Woman fan since I was a kid. My dad got me into Wonder Woman and I greatly appreciate him for that.

Since returning home from the park, I decided to listen to a podcast about mythology. In fact if it wasn’t for being a big fan of Wonder Woman, I don’t think I would be interested in learning about mythology. After each episode of the podcast about mythology, I go online and look up what was discussed so I am educating myself even more on the subject of mythology.

As I listened to the podcast on mythology, I did some art. Specifically, the art that I did was color. I love to color for a multitude of reasons. One of which is that it is a type of mindfulness practice for me. I am coloring a poster and hope to finish it to give to my therapist. For me giving people finished coloring projects is gratifying.

I don’t have much else to say and really should get going to I can get me something to eat for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Back to Basics in Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Over the last few weeks I have realized that I really need to get back to basics. Back to basics in regards to my recovery as it appears that the last two and half years haven’t been the best for me in regards to my mental health symptoms and how I have been dealing with them. I haven’t been dealing with my symptoms in a way that that I would personally like to so that means that for the sake of my recovery I am needing to go to basics. Going back to basics also means having a routine.

Anyone in recovery especially in the early stages, or when symptoms increase, or when relapse happens routine is key to helping the person get to the life the want to live. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) terms; a life worth living. For me personally, routine has always been something I need throughout my life. Routine is something that has been quite helpful for me and my recovery and I think having more of a routine is something that will help me get to where I was when I was doing much better and be in a better place than when I was at my best.

When I was at my best I wasn’t isolating as much as I am now which means going back to basics not only means building more of a routine but going the basic DBT skills I did when I first made a decision to be in active recovery back in late 2003. For me those basic DBT skills include music and art. When I talk about music not only do I mean listening to music but playing music on my flute. Music has been a major part of my recovery. In regards to art and my recovery, coloring is the most basic thing I did because it was and still is one of my go to skills.

As for other skills that I have learned along my road of recovery is mindfulness. Mindfulness has been quite helpful for me. Yes, it is challenging at times but it is quite helpful for me to get into a better state of mind. A better state of mind that helps me use other skills needed to continue on the road of recovery.

Since I am on the topic of mindfulness and going back to the topic of routine something that I have thought long and hard about as well as started doing as a part of my morning is a mindfulness exercise. Usually, the mindfulness exercise I do is on the Calm app. I find doing mindfulness first thing in the morning quite helpful to start my day.

As I was thinking of other ways to build more of a routine throughout the day is to incorporate various things that I know will be beneficial to me, my life and me building a life worth living. The things, I will be incorporate into my daily routine is of course doing some art by coloring, music by setting a time to practice my flute, doing mindfulness exercises at least three times a day, reading a book or comic for a minimum of thirty minutes a day, walking twice a day for at least mile and listening to one episode of a podcast that I am currently enjoying a day. I realize that listening to a podcast, practicing my flute, reading, coloring, walking and mindfulness doesn’t sound much of a routine but I know it will help me get back to where I want to be in addition to going to appointments and making other plans for the day.

I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for you my reader. I hope everyone has a good Monday and work week. Peace Out, World!!!