Tag Archives: Trauma

Just A Lazy Sunday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon!!! I decided to hold off on the educational part of my blog for now. Don’t worry I will get back to. Well, as you all know today, is Sunday. Its been a lazy Sunday. In fact its been a good lazy Sunday.

My boyfriend and I have been having a nice relaxing day together. To start of the nice lazy day, I made him breakfast when he got home from work. I made him some bacon and scrambled eggs. After we ate he went to bed to sleep for a few hours since he had a busy shift. While he napped, I read a little. In fact a read “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens. I’m really enjoying the book. I also read a Wonder Woman graphic novel. If you have been following or reading my blog for a while, you are aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. When my boyfriend woke up, we ended up having an intimate moment. After our intimate moment we had lunch and worked on a jigsaw puzzle. My boyfriend and I actually worked on the puzzle for a while when we realized that the Seattle Seahawk and Dallas Cowboy football game was on. So we turned it on to watch it. In fact we are still watching it. My boyfriend in a huge Seahawks fan. When it comes to football my boyfriend and I clash. I am a San Francisco 49er fan. I love sports.

Before I get back to my lazy Sunday to finish watching the Seahawk, Cowboy game I want to let you know how having a lazy day can help with ones mental. For me, I know I just need a day to not have to worry about anything or do anything. Everyone needs a mental break from time to time and that’s what today is for me.

I better getting going because the Cowboys just got touch down and field goal with three minutes left of the game. The Cowboys are in the lead and well my boyfriend and I are not happy about that. Well, I should get going to enjoy the rest of the game. Have a good rest of your Sunday and Peace Out!!

Mental Health Araweness Week; Day 7: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

It’s Day 7 of Mental Health Awareness Week. That means it is the last day and I struggled with what I wanted to discuss today. I really wanted to discuss another diagnosis as well as recovery. With much discussion and consideration with different people in my life, I have chosen to not only talk about Recovery but Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as well. I chose these two topics because I at one time was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and because I have worked so hard in recovery I no longer meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). So you can see the topics of Recovery and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can go hand and hand for me.

I will discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) first. From here on out for the remainder of this blog, Borderline Personality Disorder will be written as BPD. The following information on BPD I got from National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that can be challenging for everyone involved, including the individuals with the illness, as well their friends and family members. BPD is characterized by impulsivity and instability in mood, self-image, and personal relationships. The treatments and longer-term studies of BPD offer hope for good outcomes for most individuals who live with BPD. Ideas to name the condition in a manner that better describes the patter of concerns (e.g., Emotion Dysregulation Disorder) have been advanced but no name change to the condition is planned for the release of DSM-5.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and how is it diagnosed?

Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed by mental health professionals following a comprehensive psychiatric interview that may include talking with a person’s previous clinicians, review of prior records, a medical evaluation, and when appropriate, interviews with friends and family. There is no specific single medical test (e.g., blood test) to diagnose BPD and a diagnosis is not based on  a single sign or symptom. Rather, BPD is diagnosed by a mental health professional based on patterns of thinking and behavior in an individual. Some people may have “borderline personality traits” which means that they do not meet the criteria for diagnosis with BPD but have some of the symptoms associated with this illness.

Individuals with BPD usually have several of the following symptoms, many which are detailed in the DSM-IV-TR:

  • Marked mood swings with periods of intense depressed mood, irritability and/or anxiety last a few hours to a few days (but not in the context of full-blown episode of major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder).
  • Inappropriate, intense or uncontrollable anger.
  • Impulsive behaviors that result in adverse outcomes and psychological distress, such as excessive spending, sexual encounters, substance use, shoplifting, reckless driving or binge eating.
  • Recurring suicidal threats or non-suicidal self-injurious behavior such as cutting on one’s self.
  • Unstable, intense personal relationships, sometimes alternating between “all good,” idealization, and “all bad,” devaluation.
  • Persistent uncertainty about self-image, long-term goals, friendships and values.
  • Chronic boredom or feelings of emptiness.
  • Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment.

Borderline Personality Disorder is relatively common – about 1 in 20 or 25 individuals will live with this condition. Historically, BPD has been thought to be significantly more common in females, however recent research suggest that males may almost as frequently affect by BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed in people from each race, ethnicity and economic status.

What is the cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?

The exact causes of BPD remain unknown, although the roles of both environmental and biological factors are though to play a role in people who develop this illness. While no specific gene has been shown to directly cause BPD, a number of different genes have been identified as playing a role in its development. The brain’s functioning, as seen in MRI testing, is often different in people with BPD, suggesting that there is a neurological basis for some of the symptoms associated with BPD.

Neuroimaging studies are not clinically helpful at this time to make the diagnosis and are research tools. A number of hormones (including oxytocin) and signaling molecules within the brain (e.g., neurotransmitters including serotonin) have been shown to potentially play a role in BPD. People who experience traumatic life events (e.g., physical or sexual abuse during childhood) are at increased risk of developing BPD, as are people with certain chronic medical illnesses in childhood.

The connection between BPD and other mental illnesses is well established. People with BPD are at increased risk for anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, eating disorders, and substance abuse. BPD is often misdiagnosed and many people find they wait years to get a proper diagnosis, which leads to a better care plan.

Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder have a first-degree relative with a serious mental illness (e.g., bipolar or schizophrenia). This is likely due to both genetic and environmental factors.

Now that I have bored you about BPD, I want to thank you for reading to this point. Again, I got the following information from NAMI’s website at nami.org.  I will now continue on with the next part of my blog.

The next part of the discussion is Recovery. According to the Webster’s dictionary Recovery is defined as following: noun: The process of combating a disorder (such as alcoholism) or a real or perceived problem. Now that you know the definition of Recovery, I can tell you how recovery looks to me especially when it comes to BPD.

Recovery has been a long and difficult process for me. In fact recovery is a lifelong process for people with any mental health diagnosis. For me, my recovery process in regards to my mental illness (not the eating disorders I struggled with) started 11 years ago this month (October or 2003) when I went into a two year intensive outpatient Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program. When I was in DBT I learned on ways to learn how to deal with my intense emotions. Most of the emotions I was dealing with and still deal with on occasion, I learn as a child to hold them in. So, holding in my emotions I ended up self-harming by cutting myself. I’m getting a little off topic, when I was in the DBT program I learned the proper skills or tools I needed to express my emotions appropriately. Because I learned how to express my emotions in an appropriate manner I was able to hold down a job at the same employer for 9 1/2 year as well take the training and examination to become a Certified Peer Support Specialist (aka Peer Counselor). Not only was I employed at the same employer for 9 1/2 years I was able to quit that job and become  Consumer Aide with Peer Counselor responsibilities at a mental health agency.

Yes, after I graduated the DBT program I continued with my previous job as well as sought out a new therapist. I have had my current therapist for 6 years this December. My current therapist Diana (pseudonym) and have worked endlessly with the pain of my past. She is the one that encouraged me to get my peer certification as well getting my new job as a Consumer Aide. Diana and the DBT program I graduated from in November of 2005 have played a key role in my recovery. In fact I have come to rely on myself as well as my friends and a select family members as well as people I consider family more than I do my own treatment team. Diana, my current therapist, is the one who declared me a recovered Borderline. As of the summer of last year (2013) I know longer meet the criteria of Borderline. My natural support system will see to that I will never get the diagnosis of BPD back. In fact my natural supports are a key to my recovery.

The reason why they are key to my recover is because like I said earlier recovery is a life long process. See I deal with other mental health diagnoses like the ones I have shared with you this past week. In fact I struggle with a few other diagnoses and will continue to educate you on those tomorrow. Going back to the topic, most mental illness’s are life long. Most of the personality disorders are the only mental health diagnoses you can eventually no longer meet the criteria for and Borderline is one of them. Yes, I will most likely struggle from time to time with my other mental health diagnosis however I have great friends and family as well as a therapist that are all invested in my recovery. They wont give up on me nor will they allow me to give up on myself.

Now that I have practically written a chapter or two of a book I better let you all go. I will continue to keep educating you on different diagnosis’s. I will continue with the ones that deal with. Have a great rest of your weekend I hope that I have educated you all on mental illness during Mental Health Awareness Week. I hope you all will continue to read and/or follow my blog. I hope I was able to convey to you this week that I was hoping to and hope to be able to convey more to you all in other blogs. Thanks for reading. Please do not hesitate to share my blog on social media site just as long as it is done in a respectful manner. Again thank you for reading. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog.

I should really let you go. I will blog again tomorrow and yes I will be blogging about another mental health diagnosis. It will be one that I have been diagnosed with. Again, thank you for reading. Peace out and enjoy your weekend.

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 6: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Posted on by Gertie

It is Day 6 of Mental Health Awareness Week. Today’s topic of discussion is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Todays discussion is quite difficult for me because I am struggle with PTSD and I am sure that this topic will bring up some painful memories from my past. I am aware that this particular post might take me all day to post because if I need to stop for a while I will. I need to do what is best for me but I also realize that I still need to educate you all on PTSD. Again the information I will give to you on PTSD, I got from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

The symptoms of PTSD:

The DSM-IV criteria for identifying PTSD require that symptoms must me active for more than one month after the trauma and associated with the decline in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. The three broad symptom clusters can be summarized as follow:

1. Persistent Re-experiencing

A person experiences one or more of the following:

  • recurrent nightmares or flashbacks;
  • recurrent images or memories of the event – these images or memories often occur without actively thinking about the event;
  • intense distress of reminders of the trauma; and/or
  • physical reactions to triggers that symbolize or resemble the event.

2. Avoidant/Numbness Responses

A person experiences three or more of the following:

  • efforts to avoid feelings or triggers associated with the trauma;
  • avoidance of activities, places or people that remind the person of the trauma;
  • inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma;
  • markedly diminished interest in activities;
  • feelings of detachment or estrangement from others;
  • restricted range of feelings; and/or
  • difficulty thinking abut the long-term future – sometimes this expresses itself by a failure to plan for the future or taking risk because the person does not fully believe or consider the possibility that they will be alive for a normal lifespan.

3. Increased Arousal

A person experiences two or more of the following:

  • difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep;
  • outburst of anger/irritability;
  • difficulty concentrating;
  • increased vigilance that may be maladaptive; and/or
  • exaggerated startle response

Again, I got this information off of the NAMI website at nami.org. The DSM has since got an updated version now DSM-5.The diagnosis of PTSD has been updated in the DSM-5 so for more updated information you might want to check it out.

As I thought I am having some problems writing this particular blog. I have made the decision to make this particular blog shorter than I had hoped. It has been quite triggering for me. I am a survivor of multiple traumas and some of those trauma’s were when I was a child. Writing this blog has brought up some unpleasant memories of some horrific parts of my life. That is why I am needing to end this blog. I am sorry that I was unable to convey everything that I wanted. I hope that someday that I will be able to convey more on Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I need to take care of myself and I know with the years of therapy that I have had and continue to have that if continuing this particular entry will trigger me even more.

On that note, I will blog again tomorrow on another subject. I am not really sure if I am going to write about but I do know that I will write about mental health. I hope that you will continue to follow and/or read my blog when Mental Health Awareness Week ends. Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy it to the best of your ability. Peace out and enjoy life!!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 5: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Posted on by Gertie

It is Day 5 of Mental Health Awareness Week. Today I will be discussing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It is sort of a continuation of yesterdays topic of depression. SAD is personal to me as well because I was (and still am) diagnosed with it. This is another diagnosis I have had over half of my life. Again the information I am going to give you is from National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website which is nami.org.

What is seasonal affective disorder (SAD)?

     The symptoms of depression are very common. Some people experience these only at times of stress, while others may experience them regularly at certain ties of the year. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is characterized by recurrent episodes of depression, usually in late fall and winter, alternating with periods of normal periods of normal or high mood the rest of the year.

Whether SAD is a distinct mental illness or s specific type of major depressive disorder is a topic of debate in the scientific literature. Researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) first posited the condition as a response to decreased light, and pioneered the use of bright light to address the symptoms. It has been suggested that women are more likely to have the illness than men and that SAD is less likely in older individuals. SAD can also occur in children and adolescents, in which is usually first suspected by parents and teachers rather than the individual themselves.

While no specific genes has been shown to cause SAD, many people with this illness report at least one close relative with a psychiatric condition – most frequently a severe depressive disorder or substance abuse. Scientists have identified that a chemical within the brain ( a neurotransmitter called serotonin) ma not be functioning optimally in many patients with SAD. The role of hormones, specifically melatonin, and sleep-wake cycles (also called circadian rhythms) during the changing seasons is still being studied in people with SAD. Some studies have also shown that SAD is more common in people who live in Northern latitudes (e.g., Canada and Alaska as opposed to California and Florida).

What are the patterns of SAD?

For all depressive episodes, it is important to understand the patter of the condition, in other words, what stressors or triggers contribute to the depressive symptoms. In SAD, the seasonal variation in mood states is the key dimension to understand. Through recognition of the pattern of symptoms over time, developing a more targeted treatment plan is possible.

Symptoms of SAD usually begin in October or November and subside in March or April. Some patients begin to “slump” as early as August, while others remain well until January. Regardless of the time of onset, most patients don’t feel fully “back to normal” until early May. Depressions are usually mild to moderate but they can be severe. Treatment planning needs to match the severity of the condition for the individual. Safety is the first consideration in all assessment of depression, as suicide can be a risk for more severe depressive symptoms. Although some individuals do not necessarily show these symptoms, the classic  characteristics of recurrent winter depression include oversleeping, daytime fatigue, carbohydrate craving and weight gain. Additionally, many people may experience other features of depression including decreased sexual interest, lethargy, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, lack of interest in normal activities and decreased socialization.

In a minority of cases, symptoms occur in the summer rather than winter. During that period, the depression is more likely to be characterized by insomnia, decreased appetite, weight loss and agitation or anxiety. In still fewer cases,a patient may experience both winter and summer depressions, while feeling fine each fall and spring, around the equinoxes. Many people with SAD also report that their depression worsens or reappears whenever there is “less light around” (e.g., the weather is overcast any time of the year, or if their indoor lighting is decreased).

Some people with Bipolar Disorder can also have seasonal changes in heir mood and experience acute episodes in a recurrent fashion at different times of the year.I has been classically described that some people with bipolar disorder are more likely to experience depressive episodes in the fall/winter and manic episodes in spring/summer.

A person with any of these symptoms should feel comfortable asking their doctors about SAD. A full medical evaluation of a person who is experiencing these symptoms for the first time should include a thorough physical examination as well as blood (e.g., thyroid testing) and urine testing (e.g., pregnancy testing, drug screening). A medical evaluation is appropriate because SAD can often be misdiagnosed as hypothyroidism, infectious mononucleosis or other medical conditions.

Again I got this information from NAMI’s website at nami.org. I hope that I am able to convey to you the reader and/or follower on what I am wanting to educate you all on. It being Mental Health Awareness Week it is my desire to educate people especially those who do not have any mental health diagnoses.

I deal with the symptoms of SAD the same way I deal with Depression. If you want to know how I deal with depression you can easily read yesterdays blog titled Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 4: Depression. SAD effects me mainly in late autumn through mid spring. It is key with any mental health diagnosis to know what your triggers are and I know what my triggers are with SAD. As with any mental health diagnosis treatment is another key compounding element with SAD.

I hope that I will be able to blog again tomorrow to continue to educate other on another mental health condition. It is my hopes that my blogging about mental illness that maybe just maybe the stigma that surrounds mental illness will start to lessen. Stigma is a major reason why those who suffer from mental illness suffer in silence and alone. Please don’t be afraid to share this on any social media site you want just as long as it is in a respectful manner. Have a good day everyone. Peace out!!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 4: Depression

Posted on by Gertie

It is Day 4 of Mental Health Awareness Week. Today, I will be discussing Depression. I will be discussing Depression because I not only struggle with it but many other people in my life struggle with it as well. I personally was diagnosed when I was 14 years old. That means I have had Depression my than half my life. I will again be giving you information that is posted on National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website. NAMI’s website is nami.org.

What are the symptoms of major depression and how is it diagnosed?

Depression can be difficult to detect from the outside, but for those who experience major depression, it is disruptive in a multitude of ways. It usually causes significant changes in how a person functions in many of the following areas:

  • Changes in sleep. Some people experience difficulty in falling asleep, waking up during the night or awakening earlier than desired. Other people sleep excessively or much longer than they used to.
  • Changes in appetite. Weight gain or weight loss demonstrates changes in eating habits and appetite during episodes of depression.
  • Poor concentration. The inability to concentrate and/or make decisions is a serious aspect of depression. During severe depression, some people find following the thread of a simple newspaper article to be extremely difficult, or make major decisions often impossible.
  • Loss of energy. The loss of energy and fatigue often affects people living with depression. Mental speed and activity are usually reduced, as is the ability to preform daily routines.
  • Lack of interest. During depression, people feel sad and lose interest in usual activities.
  • Low self-esteem. During periods of depression, people dwell on memories of losses or failures and feel excessive guilt and helplessness.
  • Hopelessness or guilt. The symptoms of depression often produce a strong feeling of hopelessness, or a belief that nothing will ever improve. These feelings can lead to thoughts of suicide.
  • Movement changes. People may literally look “slowed down: or overly activated and agitated.

Mental health care professionals use the criteria for depression in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) to develop a diagnosis.

There is a strong possibility that a depressive episode can be a part of Bipolar Disorder. Having a physician make the right distinction between unipolar major depression and bipolar depression is critical because treatments for these two depressive disorders differ.

Again, I got the above information from NAMI’s website at nami.org. NAMI is an awesome resource in regards to mental illness. I am grateful that NAMI and other such organizations are out there to help spread the word about mental illness and to help stop the stigma that goes along with it.

Depression effects me severely for many different reason. One of those reason is that when my depression gets severe I get psychotic. When I mean psychotic, I hallucinate. With some people’s depression they have psychotic features along with it. I know when things get severe with my depression when the psychotic features rear their ugly head and that usually means that I need to be hospitalized. Thankfully, my depression hasn’t been that severe in about 3 years. Another thing in regards to my depression is that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  SAD is another form of Depression however it is its own separate diagnosis.

I maintain my depression in various ways. I not only take an antidepressant for my depression but I also see a therapist every other week. (Side note: If my symptoms get bad I then see my therapist every week) I also eat regularly and try to make sure that I eat as healthy as possible. I also exercise on the regular basis even if that means I only walk 3 miles that day. I always at least walk 3 miles a day even if its rainy and stormy outside. Yes, I even walk 3 miles a day when it is icy and snowy outside. I do this because I know it helps with my depression. Plus it gets me outside. With depression I tend to isolate and getting out to walk helps me not isolate. Getting outside even when rainy and/or cloudy gives you that natural light that every needs and you even get Vitamin D through the clouds from the sunlight. I also make sure I have good sleep hygiene. I try to go to bed at the same time every night as well as get up at the same time every morning. I do this because it helps me with my depression even on nights I don’t get much sleep. I do many other things as well but I don’t want to bore you with them. I just wanted to try to convey on what depression was and how I deal with it to try to keep it at bay.

Well, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. I hope to blog again tomorrow on another mental health diagnosis. I hope that I am conveying to you the reader and/or follower that I am intending. I hope that I am educating you all on mental illness. Well have a good rest of your day. Peace Out!!!

Mental Health Awarness Week; Day 3: ADHD

Posted on by Gertie

It is day three of Mental Health Awareness Week and I have chosen the topic of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The reason why I have chosen this particular topic is because I not only had it as a child and adolescent but I have it as an adult as well. Many people don’t realize that both ADD and ADHD are mental illness’s. The stuff I am about to convey to you I got off of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

WHAT IS ADHD?

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. The most commonly diagnosed behavior disorder in young people, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that ADHD affects an estimated 9 percent of children aged 3 – 17 and 2 to 4 percent of adults.

Although ADHD has it onset and is usually diagnosed in childhood, it is not a disorder limited to children – ADHD often persists into adolescence and adulthood and is frequently not diagnosed until later years.

What are the symptoms of ADHD?

There are actually thought to be three different types of ADHD, each with different symptoms: predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive/impulsive and combined.

Those living with the predominantly inattentive type often:

  • fail to pay close attention to details or make careless mistakes in schoolwork, work or other activities;
  • have difficulty sustaining attention to task or leisure activities;
  • do not seem to listen when spoken to directly;
  • do not follow through on instructions and fail to finish schoolwork, chores or duties in the workplace;
  • have difficulty organizing task and activities;
  • avoid, dislike or are reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort;
  • lose thins necessary for tasks or activities;
  • are easily distracted by extraneous stimuli; and are forgetful in daily activities

Those living with the predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type often:

  • fidget with their hands or feet or squirm in their seat;
  • leave their seat in situations in which remaining seated is expected;
  • move excessively or feel restless during situation in which such behavior in inappropriate;
  • have difficulty engaging in leisure activities quietly;
  • are “on the go” or act as if “driven by a motor;”
  • talk excessively;
  • blurt out answers before questions have been completed;
  • have difficulty awaiting their turn; and
  • interrupt or intrude on others.

Those living with the combined type, the most common type of ADHD, have a combination of the inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive symptoms.

It is also important to note that ADHD is a condition that often coexist with other conditions.

I am not going to go into what else NAMI says about ADHD because I feel like if you want to find out you can go to NAMI.org to look up the information for yourselves. I do have to say that when I was child I was put on medication to help with the symptoms of the ADHD. The particular school district I was in from Kindergarten to 9th grade made sure the schools I attended I was taught the proper skills I needed that one day I wouldn’t need to depend on meds to help with the symptoms of ADHD. I am grateful for that because the school district I was in from 10th to 12 grades weren’t to keen on much of anything in regards to the diagnosis of ADHD. In fact they thought the medication I was on need to either be upped or changed. My grandparent gave me the option of what I wanted. I option I chose was to not take the medication and well they were happy I chose the option because I was able to prove to the new school and new school district that I could do it myself without the help of medication because of the skills I had learned in the previous school district I was in. I am not saying to go off any of your meds; I am saying that because I learned the proper skills that I was able to get off meds for the ADHD. Yes, I was under a doctors supervision when I was stopping the ADHD medication. Never stop any medication without proper supervision from a licensed medical provider. I am happy to announce that I have been off of ADHD meds for almost 19 years now. Yes, ADHD does still effect me however I am able to deal with the symptoms of ADHD.

I hope that I was able to convey to you what I wanted to in regards to ADHD. I hope that you learned something in regards to ADHD. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions if have any. Thank you for your time and thank you for reading.

Have a goodnight. I hope to blog on a different diagnosis tomorrow in regards to mental illness. Again have a goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace Out!!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 2: Knowing My Limitations

Posted on by Gertie

It’s day two of Mental Health Awareness Week. Again, I am not going to do what I had planned. The reason being is that I need to know my limits as well as my limitations I have had it up to my eye balls with different things in my life and know that I would not be able to convey on what I want to convey about mental illness.

Part of the reason why I have had it up to my eye balls is because one; I am hungry, two; I am tired as hell and three; its just been one of the days for me. Knowing this about myself has been a work in progress. If it wasn’t for the many years of therapy I would have just overextended myself and gone ahead and try to convey on the information I want to educate you on. I am in a good place in my life at the moment and am fully aware that if I overextend myself that the symptoms of my mental illness could rear there ugly head. Having the symptoms of my mental illness rear their ugly head would not only not be beneficial to you the reader and/or follower with me trying to educate you but would not be beneficial to me. I really hope that it doesn’t sound like I am being selfish because I am not trying to sound that way. I am just trying to keep myself well so I can be in a good and positive mind set when I go to work tomorrow. If I don’t take care of myself then I cant be there for you the reader and/or follower as well as be there for the clients at my new job as well as the callers on the Warm Line.

Again, I profusely apologize for not be able to inform you on what I was planning informing you on today. I honestly hope that I will be able to blog on what I was wanting to blog tonight tomorrow. Please find in your hearts to forgive me for needing a mental health day from blogging. Thanks for reading and Peace Out!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 1

Posted on by Gertie

It’s the first day of Mental Health Awareness Week. As I was preparing for this week I realized one major thing. I realized that part of what I wanted to do was give you what the criteria of what the diagnoses are and if I did that then I would be infringing on the copy write law of the DSM 5. So, I decided that I’m not going to put up the criteria for any diagnosis because I don’t want to break any laws. I do have other ways that I will try to educate you all on any diagnosis I discuss.

I plan on discussing the particular diagnoses that I am diagnosed with as well as the one I no longer meet the criteria for. I also plan on continuing the discussion of various types of diagnoses after Mental Health Awareness Week is over. In discussing any diagnosis I hope that I am able to convey what I want to say as well as how I have dealt with the symptoms of a particular diagnosis. If it’s a diagnosis I do not have then I hope to be able to convey on how other have dealt with the particular diagnosis. Being able to convey what I desire to convey in regards mental illness is a pretty huge task for me. I desire to educate people who don’t struggle with mental illness because I hope with education it can stomp out the stigma of mental illness.

Stomping out the stigma of mental illness is a major goal of mine. I know reality is that it wont happen in my lifetime however if I can just be one part of the factor to start the process of stomping out the stigma of mental illness then I have don’t my job. Their are many of us out there in the world trying to stop the stigma of mental illness and we will not stop till it is completely eliminated.

I think I have said enough about what I hope to convey and will continue this discussion tomorrow. I hope that you will continue to read my blog as I continue on my journey with my struggle with mental illness as well as the journey of educating other on mental illness. Peace Out!!!!

Figuring Out How To Succeed At Blogging

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday!!!! Apparently, I’m not reaching as many people as I hoped I would be. I only have 15 followers and don’t get many views. I am just getting frustrated with myself because I am not blogging as regularly as I was wanting to as well as not doing much educating when it comes to mental illness. I was hoping that I would educate people on particular mental health diagnoses but it appears that something is getting in my way in doing that. That something is me. I’m the one that is hindering the progression of this blog. On the positive side, I know that through my blog that I am showing others that recovery is possible (or at least I think I am).

My thinking was (and still is) when I started this blog was to show others that recovery is possible and that their is hope. I know that my blog is succeeding to a point when it comes to showing others that recovery is possible but it’s not succeeding in other ways. Its not succeeding in the number of followers or views I have or get and I think the reason being is the reason I stated earlier in this blog and that is the education part of it. I am hoping that once things start settling down with the new job as well as the new volunteer job that I will be able to start the education part of this blog. It is my hope that I will educate on the diagnosis’s that I have as well the ones I no longer meet the criteria for. I then hope to do some education on the diagnoses that family members and close friends struggle with and then go on from there.

Now that you heard enough about how my blog is not succeeding let get on to other subjects. I will start with my boyfriend. When he got off from work this morning I had made him breakfast. I made him pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. According to my boyfriend I burned the bacon. He pretty much likes eating bacon raw or at least almost raw. He likes all the fat on it. I do have to say that the fat on the bacon is what makes bacon taste good. After eating breakfast and doing dishes we had some intimate moments. Intimacy is something I personally struggle with because of some severe trauma I experienced as a child and even some trauma I experienced as an adult. With that being said my boyfriend makes me feel safe especially during intimate moments. He is gentle with me and extremely loving.

Speaking of loving, I am loving my new job. Yes, I know a loving partner is completely different than loving your job. I not only love my job, I enjoy it as well. My job gives me great joy even though its not the position I desire. In regards to it not being the position I desire its a foot in the door as well as moving up opportunities.

Since we are on the topic of opportunities, my volunteer job at the Warm Line gives me training opportunities as well as possible career advancement at my current employer and possibly at the Crisis Line where the Warm Line is run out of. Yes, I know what I just said sounds a little selfish but if what I do employment wise as well as volunteering gives me a purpose in life then so be it. I’m improving with being a call taker on the Warm Line and am no longer a deer in head lights. I am finally getting in the grove of things as a call taker.

I so want to share more with you right now but I realize I am hungry and need to figure out what I want to cook for dinner. I’m hoping that my boyfriend will give me some idea’s. Actually, I am hoping that he will do the cooking tonight.  Well, have a good Friday evening everyone. I hope everyone enjoys there weekend and has some fun. Peace out.

Everything From Hiking to Intimacy to Blogging & Other Such Things

Posted on by Gertie

     It’s still Saturday and it has been an amazing one at that. My boyfriend and I went hiking and had a picnic in the woods. It was romantic having a picnic in the forest. This wasn’t the first time we had a picnic in the woods. Being out in nature with the person you love tends to bring you closer together.

     Being closer to my boyfriend is always a good thing especially when it comes to intimacy (sex). When we got back to his place after hiking we became intimate. It feels so good to be able to trust someone enough be intimate with. See, when you have suffered severe childhood abuse and other traumas you tend to not trust people especially when it comes to intimacy. For me trusting my boyfriend with sex and intimacy is a major deal and he knows that. That is why when we are intimate with each other he is gentle and patient. He is amazing in bed. Yes, I do have his permission blog about intimate moments with you all.

     The reason why he is cool me sharing about the intimate moments is because he likes what I am trying to do with this blog. He likes the fact that I am not only trying to help people who struggle with mental illness and show them that recovery is possible and that hope is out there but to educate “normal” people (like him) about mental illness. In fact my boyfriend is one of the people who encouraged me start this blog. He is what I call a normie. A normie is a normal person.  A normal person is someone who doesn’t struggle with a mental illness or any other disability. My boyfriend really hopes that this blog reaches normies because he wants it to prove to them that people who struggle with a mental illness do live productive lives and are loveable. Yes, he says some moments are more difficult than other moments but he is more than willing to stick it out with me. All I want with this blog is to show people who struggle that there is hope and recovery is possible. I also want to educate those who don’t struggle with mental illness that we are like everyone else and that we live productive lives. Yes, everyone who has a mental illness has a different way to be productive but so does everyone else in this world.

     Speaking about being productive, this next few weeks are going to be quite productive. I go back to work this Monday after being on vacation for a week. This Wednesday (July 30th) I have a job interview. Then this Tuesday (July 29th)  start volunteer training for a peer run Warm Line. The training is twice a week; Tuesdays and Thursdays for five weeks. Each day of training is four hours. So eight hours of training each week for five weeks equals to 40 hours. I am looking forward to this training. For me being productive is going to work, volunteering and going to various training in regards to peer counseling and volunteering. Another way that I am being productive is by voting. I voted in the primary elections. I want to make sure that my voice is heard and one way for it to me heard is to vote.

      Being heard is a big thing for those who struggle with a mental illness. I want to be a voice for those who cant speak up for themselves. I hope that I am that voice on this blog. I am hoping that one day I can educate you all on the particular diagnoses that I struggle with or have struggled with. I want to make sure I have the correct information before I share it. For example what the DSM 5 says about the diagnosis as well as the definitions from the dictionary. My desire is to educate those who may not understand what it is like to deal with a mental illness.

     With all of that being said, I should end this blog for now. I kind of want to have more adult fun with my boyfriend. I hope everyone had a good Saturday like I have had. Peace out and enjoy the rest of your Saturday.