A Week till Christmas

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is hard to believe that Christmas is a week from today. I have of sadly did last minute shopping today and boy were the stores busy as hell which is not a surprise. I mainly still celebrate Christmas because of family. Mainly because my grandpa as he is 91 and wants to keep the family traditions going. In all honestly I still celebrate with my mom and that side of the family because my mom doesn’t very much support and I don’t want her to be alone when this time of year is already tough on her. As much as I’m not a fan of Christmas due to my own shit, I celebrate it because I know how much it means to others and want to bring them joy.

Hell, if I’m honest with myself I have my own Christmas traditions even though I celebrate other holidays this time of year. My personal Christmas traditions that I do just for me is read two comic books call Christmas with the Superhero’s One and Two. I also do two to three holiday or wintery puzzles as I listen to Christmas music. I say two to three puzzles because it depends on the size of the puzzles I do. I also do art work related to Christmas. Specifically, I have some pretty detailed Christmas coloring pages I do every year as I listen to Christmas music. Some of the coloring pages still aren’t finished yet due to me only coloring them during the holiday season. In fact if it wasn’t for a couple of therapist encouraging me to make my own Christmas traditions for just me and actually doing my own traditions, I would be more of a bah hum bugger than I already I am.

On that note Christmas in the Seattle area is my idea of way to spend a great Christmas. I love being able to celebrate Christmas with friends, family and my cat as it rains. Well, it rains most Christmas’s. Seattle has been known to have a white Christmas on occassion.

Billie Dean, my cat will be getting spoiled this Christmas. My grandpa will be cat sitting Billie when I go see my mom’s side of the family and some friends in the Olympia area of Washington. It appears that Billie is well loved by others as he is getting many gifts this year from friends and family just like he did last year. I thrilled that I have friends and family that love my cat, Billie just as much as I do.

Before I end this particular blog post, I just wanted to let you know that I am listening to Christmas music. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writer my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!

Dealing With Some Work Issues

Good Evening, World!!! It is Thursday evening here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. Seattle weather has be grey and misty like it is typical Seattle weather. The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression but at least I know what to do to take care of myself.

So, yesterday, I finally had it with a colleague that has been bullying me so I went to Human Resources (HR) about it. I’ve been having high anxiety about going to HR about being bullied but on that note yesterday (Wednesday) was the day that broke the camels back. I don’t want my colleague in trouble. I just want my colleague to realize not everyone is going to have the same response to this persons news. Anyway, I made sure HR knew that I don’t want this colleague in trouble. I want this person educated not everyone is going to have the same response and that this persons response to my response was not the best way to react to how I reacted in the way this person wanted. I am worried about retaliation with this person but I am doing what I need to do for self care.

As far as my self care, I am listening to a philosophy podcast as I am doing art work. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the philosophy podcast, “Philosophize This.” It seems to be helping me deal with being bullied at work.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful with this bullying issue that I have been having with a colleague. He is supporting me emotionally. I love my cat and am happy that Billie gives me the support I need.

I am also grateful that HR is being supportive of the situation which is quite unusual from my personal experience at previous employers. I really hope the person, I narked on doesn’t get officially in trouble. I just want this person to realize that I felt bullied and to be educated on bullying.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Rambling

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish and celebrating this miracle holiday. In all honesty I get the feeling this particular blog post will go in all sorts of different directions as I seem scatter brained today.

Surprisingly, as I type this particular blog I am listening Christmas music. I guess it’s the season to do so. At least it is bringing me joy as I type this blog. Listening to Christmas music brought me joy at work as well. No, Christmas music was not playing when I was in session with clients. I guess the Christmas music helped me be productive with work today or at least the note taking part of my job.

Speaking of work, I have some pretty awesome colleagues. My small group team, I am a member of is an amazing group of people. I adore all my colleagues especially the ones that are on my small team. I really do like my supervisor. She is awesome.

After my work shift ended I decided to continue to listen to Christmas music while doing art work. My cat, Billie Dean wanted to help. So, some of my artwork is quite a bit more unusual than normal. I really love my cat and his “helpfulness” with the art work.

My depression has been acting up which is why I’ve been making some art work while listening to Christmas music. I am planning on giving my art work away as gifts during this holiday season to my friends and family.

I am grateful for the friends and family I have in my life. They truly do love and care about me. Billie, my cat is now trying to help me type this particular blog post. I feel the love from my colleagues, friends, family and my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating it. Peace Out, World!!!

The Start of the 2021 Holiday Season

Happy Hanukkah, World!!! Yesterday evening (Sunday, November 28, 2021) was the start of Hanukkah. I am personally not Jewish and I enjoy the meaning of the holiday as it was a miracle. Don’t know what to say as a non Jewish person but I do know it was a miracle and wouldn’t be able to share the story of the miracle which deserves some who is more familiar to share the miracle. Happy Hanukkah to the readers who are Jewish.

Honestly, this past week has been both emotionally and physically draining for me. It was physically draining for me because deep cleaned the bathroom as I let it get really gross and disgusting. Cleaning helped me feel a since of accomplishment even though I missed my cat, Billie Dean wasn’t around to “help” me with cleaning which isn’t helpful so he went my grandpa’s as I cleaned the bathroom as well a couple of corners in my living room.

The physical stuff was due to cleaning. The emotional stuff was missing my grandma almost four years ago as well as loosing my last cat Lil Gertie two years ago which landed on Thursday, November 28, 2019 which happened to be Thanksgiving Day that year (2019). The other emotion stuff was attending a goodbye dinner for my cat’s Billie’s last vet, Dr. B. Sadly, she had to make a tough decision close forever.

Speaking of vets, Billie Dean saw his new vet today. He tolerated a couple of things and I think that is a good thing. This vet and I are going to do our best to keep Billie a healthy quality of life which is why this vet wants to see Billie twice a year. When I adopted Billie, I knew there were dental issues and upper respiratory infection (URI). So, I knew there were going to be issues. I’m happy that I made the decision to have Dr. B (Billie’s old vet) take some bloodwork done while Billie was under to get his teeth cleaned. I really miss Dr. B even though the new vet is great. Billie was not quite sure of the new vet but sure in the hell impressed with her.

In fact I partly took today off from work to take care of Billie. The other part was give me some me time. Me time was taking Billie to meet his new vet who is awesome. The other me time I have been doing is spending time with Billie while I do some art while listening to Christmas music. I think it’s okay to place Christmas music now that Thanksgiving is over.

I know there are many other holidays this time of year and hope to find the time to blog about them. I don’t want to exclude out when it comes to holidays being celebrated. I want to make sure I can learn about other religions so I can share about them when it is time to celebrate them. I will do my best to post other holidays celebrate this time of year.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog as if you weren’t I would not be writing it. I really appreciate you the read my blog as if it wasn’t for you I would not be writing it. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah and Peace Out, World!!!

Being Angery in Grief While Doing Self Care

Good Evening, World!!! I am angry. I am angry that I am still grieving over my grandma almost four years ago as well as grieving the two year anniversary of my last cat, Lil Gertie tomorrow. Tomorrow (Thursday) is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I miss both my grandma and my last cat Lil Gertie. I know anger is part of grief but I wish it wasn’t part of grief.

I am missing my current cat, Billie Dean at the moment. Billie is spending about a week with my grandpa and uncles as I do some deep cleaning of my apartment. Deep cleaning with chemicals that could be damaging to both cats and humans. Anyway, I miss Billie very much and I love him so much and hopes he misses me.

On that note, I will be going to grandpa’s tomorrow which is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I get to spend it with my dad, grandpa, two uncles and of course my beloved cat, Billie. I’m really happy that I will be spending time with those who love me or try to love me to the best of their ability.

Since my emotions have been all over the place today especially in anger mode, I’ve been doing some self care. I’ve been listening to a podcast on philosophy and I am happy that I am being educated on the topic of philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” and I find it very educational. I love being educated on something I am no knowledgeable in.

While listening “Philosophize This,” I have been doing some art work. Specifically, the type of artwork I am doing is coloring. Coloring and listening to a philosophy podcast has helped me deal with my emotions of today. I’m not so angry at the moment. I am still sad because I miss my last cat, Lil Brooke as well as my grandma, I know that they love me. I also know that doing art work and listening to a podcast on philosophy has be helpful to improve my emotions and lessen my anger. I still have people and my cat, Billie that love me.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I wouldn’t be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Wants me To Learn & Not Sleep

I am getting a bit frustrated. I can not sleep even if my life depended on it which in a way sleep is a part of being able to to function in daily life. I just really want to sleep and want to sleep now. At least the Seattle rain is soothing me and helping lessening the anxiety that I am dealing with at the moment.

On that note I have been being creative by doing art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me to be able to lessen the anxiety I am dealing with. As I have been coloring, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” is giving me an education I never received in school, specifically high school since I never went to college. Being able to be creative by doing art via coloring and listening to a podcast on philosophy is helpful for me to get through a sleepless night.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has be quite helpful with keeping the anxiety down. Billie is such a love bug and I love him so very much. I am grateful that he is in my life. I just whish I could sleep. I guess it’s time to cuddle with Billie my cat once again.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Wish me luck that I can get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Night Without Sleep With a Bit of Learning & Creativity

It is extremely extremely early in my corner of the world which is Seattle. It is cold for Seattle. Not cold as in snowing or freezing outside. It is just cold as the temperatures are below normal. At least it’s just really bad rain and wind and the temperatures are in the low 40’s.

Anyway, it’s not because of the “cold” weather why I am up at this god awful hour in the middle of the night. I am up in the middle of the night due to insomnia. I think part of the insomnia I am dealing with tonight is because of PTSD shit. Having PTSD and insomnia suck shit especially since I am unable sleep.

So, since I am unable to sleep, I am doing art. Actually the type of art I am doing is coloring. Of course as I am coloring I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am using creativity via art by coloring as I learn about philosophy but listening to a podcast. I am listening to “Philosophize This.” So, I guess by being creative while doing art, I am able to learn about philosophy.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is keeping me company by sitting on my lap. Billie is purring up a storm which means he is just happy he is getting attention. Oh shit the fire department is here at my building. Thankfully the fire alarm isn’t going off or at least it is not at the moment. Anyone, Billie is just grateful for the attention I am giving him in the middle of the night.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Doing Okay

Hello, World!!! I’m now not doing okay but I know everything will turn our okay or better than okay. My cat Billie Dean has been doing his just quite well with be an awesome emotional support animal. Billie is an awesome great ESA for me and am forever grateful that he chose me.

Billie has been trying is best in trying help me with my current art project. Specifically, I am coloring. I am coloring some pretty awesome pictures that I hope to share with you all the art work when I am finished with them as well as if I remember to day so. I love to coloring.

Having Anxiety and depression sucks which is why I do art work and cuddle with my cat, Billie. As I sit hear coloring, i have been listening to a podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This” and feel like a am getting a great education I am getting from listening to it.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do really want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thigs that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would nt be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

A So So Type of Day

Good Evening, World!!! I have been having a so so type of day. Partly because my anxiety and depression symptoms are acting up. Another part is I went back to work today after taking the last two days off (Monday and Tuesday) from work due to increased symptoms of the anxiety and depression. The HR department at my employer is amazing. They have been working with me since the day I accepted the job offer nearly a year ago. Hell, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I accepted this awesome job.

On that note, HR is amazing but sadly, I had a negative interaction with a colleague that many people at my employer admire including myself. Anyway, the interaction I had with this admired colleague put me in a loop. A loop that I feel like is going to spiral in a downward spiral. That’s why I notified HR via email and will hopefully hear back from HR sometime tomorrow since it took me all day to decide if I needed to bring HR into this matter.

Now, that I am off from work for the day, I have decided to not watch television as I could use a different form of background noise so I decided. The background noise I am listening to is something that I actually listen to which is a podcast. I am listening to a podcast about philosophy. In fact the philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I am learning so much about philosophy from this podcast and feel like I am getting an education from it.

While listening to this podcast, I am cuddling with my cat, Billie Dean. In fact Billie is making it challenging to do some art work but that is okay. The type of art work I am doing is painting as well as collaging. I’m intertwining the two genre’s together. Usually, it comes out okay but this piece is coming out quite amazingly. As far a Billie, my cat, goes, I am glad he is being cuddly with me today.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Tired as Hell and Sleeping too Much Today

Good Evening, World!!! I am still trying to sleep too much today which sucks shit. While I have been awake I have be doing to do self care like taking a shower, taking my meds and even spent about an hour with my family eating some of my favorite food. I wasn’t exactly wanting family coming over but I am happy they did. Not because they brought food but is was nice to have them care about them knowing that they love me. It was nice to have meal with some family.

When I haven’t been sleeping I have been blogging as I listening to a podcast on philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am really into this podcast and am learning a great deal from it. I feeling like I am getting some form of education from this particular pod cast.

Also as I listen to “Philosophize This, I also need to do some art work as well. Specifically, I have been doing some coloring. I finished up some coloring projects and starting new ones. I am hoping to share with you sometime soon. with the art work I have completing especially my coloring stuff.

I guess I do have to say that the typical Seattle weather had helped with how things are going as the weather sucks more than normal here in Seattle. On that note Billie has been such a greater love bug to me that he normally is. I love weather like is this when my depression trying to get back into my life. Self care such as blogging and my cat help a great deal.

I don’t have much more to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. It it wasn’t for you the reader of my blog reading my blog, I would not being writer my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading for my blog. Have a good rest of your Sunday evening. Peace Out, World!!!