Mr. Sandman, Where Are You?

Hello, World!!! I am wondering where Mr. Sandman is as I am having another sleepless night here in Seattle. As much as I wish it wasn’t another sleepless night for me, it has been a productive night for me. Even though insomnia sucks, I am grateful for nights that I am able to be productive when the insomnia acts up.

One of the ways that this sleepless night has been productive is me working on my continuing education class on stress management. I am honestly and pleasantly surprised that I am learning so much from the stress management class. I wish I could explain what I am learning but it is challenging for me at times to share what I have learned. I really do like the stress management class I am taking.

Another thing that I have done to keep myself busy tonight due to the lack of sleep is attending twelve-step meetings on Zoom. Attending the twelve-step meeting appear to be of major help to me the last nine days. I am glad to have found out about the particular twelve-step program I have been attending.

After attending three meetings tonight I ended up journaling about them right after each meeting. I am finding out, that journaling about the meeting I just attended right after the meeting quite helpful. I am beyond grateful that with the combination of the twelve-step meetings and journaling have been helpful for me.

I do know have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! This past week has been another good week. I am beyond grateful that most area’s in my life are exceeding expectations. Yes, I realize some areas in my live needs improving upon and working on them however my life is going well at the moment.

I am still loving my new job. From what I am told from my supervisor, the clinical director and my colleagues, I am doing “an amazing job especially with folks who are in crisis.” I’m not sure if what I am doing is “amazing” as I am just doing my job. It is not the challenging to deal with people in crisis especially if you have been in crisis yourself way too many times to count. I am so grateful for my new job.

I think I mentioned it before that I am taking a continuing education class on stress management. I am learning so much about stress as well what happens to the body due to stress. I am glad to be blown away with what I am learning as it has me thinking how it effects not just me but others. I also like the idea that it will help me be better at my job.

Something that has been helping me with my own stress is attending a twelve step meeting I didn’t realize existed till last week. Not only does the twelve step meeting have the twelve step principles but it has peer principles as well. I don’t think people in this twelve step program that there is peer principles and that is okay.

Of course my cat, Billie Dean is doing well. He has some kidney issues and is on a special kidney diet. It is nothing to worry about as it was caught early enough that the special diet should help his kidney’s for him to live a good long life. His special diet food is expensive as hell but I’m just grateful that Billie is doing well.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend and that you take time to enjoy what life has given you. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Do laundry
  • Sunday dinner with friends over Zoom
  • Continuing education class on Stress Management

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Appointment with psychiatric nurse practitioner
  • Last appointment with current therapist
  • Work

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Continuing education class on Stress Management
  • Work

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Continuing education class on Stress Management.

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Continuing education class on Stress Management

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Movie with friends over Zoom

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Continuing education class on Stress Management
  • Clean apartment
  • Work on mindfulness workbook

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! I know it has been a while since I have done a weekly check-in and am going to keep doing it even if I miss a few weeks. This week has been an okay week and considering some worrying news, I am not freaking out about it.

Let’s just start off with worrying news I received. Long story short got blood work done for my cat, Billie Dean and his kidney numbers are not where they need to be. Billie’s vet, Dr. B, informed me by telling me: “Yes, it is concerning however we caught it in time. Nothing to worry about but if I weren’t a vet, I would be worried as well. You are being a great cat parent as many people wait to do bloodwork till the vet requires it. Billie is doing great and is still a lovebug.” Billie is now on a special diet for his kidney’s. I’m glad I decided to get blood work done for him when he got his teeth cleaned and followed up with a second round of bloodwork. Catching it early helps ease my mind as I know Billie is now getting the proper treatment and as stressful as it is, I am not freaking out about it.

Speaking of stress, I am taking a continuing education class in stress management. I’m not only taking to learn more about stress management to handle stress but help with my career as a peer specialist. I am learning so much in this stress management class and it is already benefitting me at work and helping me help the clients I serve.

Speaking of work, I am loving my job. I am now on the training committee and I have only been at my new job for two months. Apparently, I am doing something right even though it feel like I am not half of the time. I have also been informed that I “impressed” the clinical supervisors because of being able to use crisis de-escalation skills. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone and just being myself with getting clients out of crisis.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace, Out, World!!!

Monday Evening, Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! Today is a national holiday here in the United States known as President’s Day. Banks, post offices and most doctors offices are closed today including my place of work which is a mental health agency for those who don’t regularly read my blog. It is nice to have a three day weekend.

On that note, the mental health agency I am a client of was open today which meant my appointment with my own therapist happened today but it was done virtually due to Covid-19 restrictions. Anyway, my therapist will be leaving the agency I am a client of to peruse bigger and better things. My last session with him will be next Monday. I’m sad to see him go and have no idea who my new therapist is going to be however at least I am doing relatively well. Doing well with my mental health recovery is always a good thing.

As good as doing well is, I am still apprehensive as one never knows when symptoms of a mental health diagnosis will flare up which is why I have decided to do a continuing education course on stress management. Not only will it help me with my own stress but hopefully will help me with my career as a Peer Counselor. I am actually finding the information quite interesting as well as educational.

As educational as it is, I am grateful that I am taking the course when I am as it helped me stay busy today. It helped me as there is still snow on the ground here in Seattle. Snow like this that stays around is rare and I am not a fan of snow. My cat, Billie Dean isn’t a fan of snow either. I tried taking Billie for walk on his leash and he was not happy with the snow. I assume it was too wet and cold for him as that is the reason, I don’t like snow.

I don’t have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write a List; Things I’ve Learned

Things I’ve Learned and Why I Learned Them

  • To play the flute; I learned to play the flute in elementary school. I started out playing the trombone but my arm was too short even with an extension so my best friend talked me into playing the flute.
  • DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Skills; I needed to learn DBT skills for the reason that I didn’t learn good coping skills growing up and DBT skills helped me learn better ways to cope with everyday situations as well as how to deal with the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis. In fact learning DBT skills is what helped start my recovery with mental health challenges.
  • Painting: I love art and one of my neighbors is teaching me to paint. He started teaching me to paint when he found out that I enjoy coloring as well as collaging.
  • Philosophy: I have found a new love passion about philosophy and have learned a great deal over the last few months. I started learning about philosophy while listening to a podcast when the podcast was suggested to me. After each episode I then do my own research on what was discussed in the episode. In fact I am still learning about philosophy.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

I write for several reasons. Reasons that are personal to me in which I will share with you. I started my blog for several reasons. Reasons that I have mentioned many times before and will share with you again in this post and most likely again in future post.

I originally started blogging for two reasons. The first reason was and continues to educate those who do not live with a mental health challenge in hopes to help end the stigma for those who have a mental health diagnosis as well as to show those who do not have one that we who do have one can live productive lives. The second reason why is to give people who do live with a mental health challenge that there is hope and that recovery is possible. Hope is one of the things that is needed for those who live with a challenge and it my hope that I can be a beacon of hope to those who are struggling.

Little did I know when I started blogging that it would be helpful to me. Helpful in ways I never imagined and am beyond grateful for. Blogging has helped realize how to find a voice that I didn’t realize I had. It helped me find life long friends. Blogging has been a type of therapy for me. It also helped me an advocate for others as well as myself.

So as you can see blogging about mental health is why I write. I continue to write on my blog because of you my reader, my audience. If it wasn’t for you I don’t think I would continue to to blog.

I don’t have much more to write about on this post as I feel like I got straight to the point. I want to thank you may audience for reading my blog. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Monday Evening Post

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post today was and still is a day for me do good self care. So far doing good self care has been challenging to do however it is something that continues to be accomplished. The most challenging of the self care acts was that of taking a shower. Not sure why it has been the most challenging but it was. I did take a shower shortly after my last post and am grateful that I accomplished it.

As accomplished as I feel taking a shower, I feel just as accomplished with the other things I have done today. In fact, I did a great deal of walking today and feel proud that I walked as much as I did today. In fact all the walking I did today led me to walking to a park and enjoying myself there.

When I was at the park, I was there for about an hour and a half. I just sat there enjoying the beauty of the park as well as read. I read some comic books. In fact the comic books I read today at the park were Wonder Woman. If you have been reading my blog for awhile you are well aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I have been a Wonder Woman fan since I was a kid. My dad got me into Wonder Woman and I greatly appreciate him for that.

Since returning home from the park, I decided to listen to a podcast about mythology. In fact if it wasn’t for being a big fan of Wonder Woman, I don’t think I would be interested in learning about mythology. After each episode of the podcast about mythology, I go online and look up what was discussed so I am educating myself even more on the subject of mythology.

As I listened to the podcast on mythology, I did some art. Specifically, the art that I did was color. I love to color for a multitude of reasons. One of which is that it is a type of mindfulness practice for me. I am coloring a poster and hope to finish it to give to my therapist. For me giving people finished coloring projects is gratifying.

I don’t have much else to say and really should get going to I can get me something to eat for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. Peace Out, World!!!

So Far, It’s Not A Good Friday

Good Evening, World!!! I am not having a very good Friday due to the fact that my depression and anxiety symptoms are acting up and I am getting easily angered. Specifically, I am getting easily angered at myself. I am getting easily angered at myself because I feel like I am not handling the symptoms of my anxiety and depression as well as I think I should be handling them. The reality of the situation is that I am handling the symptoms better than I think I am because I am not making the situation worse and am making a life worth living for myself.

The thing I have come to realize over the years, I tend to get angry with myself due to my mental health symptoms even when I am reacting to them in a positive way like building a life worth living. Even if people may not think I am building a life worth living with the things I am currently doing, I am building a life worth living because I am educating myself as well as being creative through art.

The way I am educating myself is listening to a podcast on Spotify about philosophy and after each episode, I research what the podcaster discusses. In fact the podcast on philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” Stephen West is the person that does “Philosophize This” and I personally think he does a great job. He captures my attention which is a good thing because of being diagnosed with ADHD and me wanting to educate myself further on what he discusses in each episode. For me willing to educate myself on a particular subject and/or topic due to how someone conveys the particular subject (and topic) says something about the person discussing it. When a friend of mine suggested that I listen to “Philosophize This,” I was hesitant at first but when I listened to the first episode Stephen West had me wanting to learn more due to his approach on the subject of philosophy. It is because of Stephen West passion for the subject of philosophy is why I am self educating myself.

As I listen to “Philosophize This” I am being creative by doing art which is another way I am creating a life worth living. The particular form of art I am doing as I am listening to the podcast is coloring. I am coloring a poster to give to my therapist to hang in his office. I realize that coloring may not be what most people consider a life worth living but for me if I can color something for others to enjoy, its a life worth living because others are able to enjoy what I created.

Even though I am coloring and listening to “Philosophize This,” I am still struggling and not having a good Friday. I wish the symptoms of my depression and anxiety would subside but sadly they are not which is why I am getting angry with myself. Being angry is never a good thing for me but if I continue doing good things for myself like listening to “Philosophize This” and coloring then I am able to control my anger. Being able to control the anger is a good thing.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome Friday. I also hope you all have an awesome weekend. I hope you all enjoy the next couple of days. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite How I Was Feeling, Thankfully, I Was Not Hospitalized

Good Evening, World!!! If you read my last post you know that I was in an extremely bad place. A bad place to where I needed to take myself to the hospital to keep myself safe. I was in the emergency room for thirteen hours and my therapist and I agreed that I did not be on an inpatient psych unit and that I could have a two appointments with him this week. Our usual scheduled appointment for today (Tuesday) and another one on Thursday before my DBT group. So after seeing my therapist in the hospital emergency room yesterday (Monday), I was able to get discharged from the hospital.

Now that it is Tuesday afternoon, I would like to tell you that I attended both of my scheduled appointments today. The first one was with my therapist and end up being an hour and a half appointment which was very productive. We discussed a number of things in regards to the increasing symptoms of my mental health challenges.

I also say my employment specialist who we both like to consider her more of a career coach than an employment specialist because she is more of a career coach for me than an employment specialist. Yes, there is a difference between the two but I can no put words to it at the moment. She is helping me find a career in the field I want to be in.

Both my Career Coach and my Therapist suggested I read books that would be educational for me. The type of books the you would buy for college courses. They both agreed it would be quite helpful with my spare time and even more helpful for me when I am working a twelve hour overnight shift, it could help keep me busy during the boring moments of my job. Reading books geared toward classes for colleges students will help me educate myself and be an informal education.

My therapist loves the fact that I have a goal to read at least one book month for pleasure. He thinks it is a great idea that I am actually scheduling it into my day to read. Another thing my therapist is pleased about is that I am doing a daily gratitude list every morning. He informed me today “despite your current set backs, you are also making some progress with willing to try do others things to help with your recovery.” So I guess despite all the set backs I guess I am making some sort of progress with willing to do things to help myself out when I would normally not be willing to do.

I am extremely grateful that saw my therapist and career coach today. It really helped me realize that despite feeling the way I did, I really didn’t need to be in a psych ward at the moment.  Being in the community is what is best for me. My therapist did say if things get worse then hospitalization might have to be an option but right now it is not as being in the community is the best option for me.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday evening. Peace Out, World!!!