Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 4: Depression

It is Day 4 of Mental Health Awareness Week. Today, I will be discussing Depression. I will be discussing Depression because I not only struggle with it but many other people in my life struggle with it as well. I personally was diagnosed when I was 14 years old. That means I have had Depression my than half my life. I will again be giving you information that is posted on National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website. NAMI’s website is nami.org.

What are the symptoms of major depression and how is it diagnosed?

Depression can be difficult to detect from the outside, but for those who experience major depression, it is disruptive in a multitude of ways. It usually causes significant changes in how a person functions in many of the following areas:

  • Changes in sleep. Some people experience difficulty in falling asleep, waking up during the night or awakening earlier than desired. Other people sleep excessively or much longer than they used to.
  • Changes in appetite. Weight gain or weight loss demonstrates changes in eating habits and appetite during episodes of depression.
  • Poor concentration. The inability to concentrate and/or make decisions is a serious aspect of depression. During severe depression, some people find following the thread of a simple newspaper article to be extremely difficult, or make major decisions often impossible.
  • Loss of energy. The loss of energy and fatigue often affects people living with depression. Mental speed and activity are usually reduced, as is the ability to preform daily routines.
  • Lack of interest. During depression, people feel sad and lose interest in usual activities.
  • Low self-esteem. During periods of depression, people dwell on memories of losses or failures and feel excessive guilt and helplessness.
  • Hopelessness or guilt. The symptoms of depression often produce a strong feeling of hopelessness, or a belief that nothing will ever improve. These feelings can lead to thoughts of suicide.
  • Movement changes. People may literally look “slowed down: or overly activated and agitated.

Mental health care professionals use the criteria for depression in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) to develop a diagnosis.

There is a strong possibility that a depressive episode can be a part of Bipolar Disorder. Having a physician make the right distinction between unipolar major depression and bipolar depression is critical because treatments for these two depressive disorders differ.

Again, I got the above information from NAMI’s website at nami.org. NAMI is an awesome resource in regards to mental illness. I am grateful that NAMI and other such organizations are out there to help spread the word about mental illness and to help stop the stigma that goes along with it.

Depression effects me severely for many different reason. One of those reason is that when my depression gets severe I get psychotic. When I mean psychotic, I hallucinate. With some people’s depression they have psychotic features along with it. I know when things get severe with my depression when the psychotic features rear their ugly head and that usually means that I need to be hospitalized. Thankfully, my depression hasn’t been that severe in about 3 years. Another thing in regards to my depression is that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  SAD is another form of Depression however it is its own separate diagnosis.

I maintain my depression in various ways. I not only take an antidepressant for my depression but I also see a therapist every other week. (Side note: If my symptoms get bad I then see my therapist every week) I also eat regularly and try to make sure that I eat as healthy as possible. I also exercise on the regular basis even if that means I only walk 3 miles that day. I always at least walk 3 miles a day even if its rainy and stormy outside. Yes, I even walk 3 miles a day when it is icy and snowy outside. I do this because I know it helps with my depression. Plus it gets me outside. With depression I tend to isolate and getting out to walk helps me not isolate. Getting outside even when rainy and/or cloudy gives you that natural light that every needs and you even get Vitamin D through the clouds from the sunlight. I also make sure I have good sleep hygiene. I try to go to bed at the same time every night as well as get up at the same time every morning. I do this because it helps me with my depression even on nights I don’t get much sleep. I do many other things as well but I don’t want to bore you with them. I just wanted to try to convey on what depression was and how I deal with it to try to keep it at bay.

Well, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. I hope to blog again tomorrow on another mental health diagnosis. I hope that I am conveying to you the reader and/or follower that I am intending. I hope that I am educating you all on mental illness. Well have a good rest of your day. Peace Out!!!

Mental Health Awarness Week; Day 3: ADHD

It is day three of Mental Health Awareness Week and I have chosen the topic of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The reason why I have chosen this particular topic is because I not only had it as a child and adolescent but I have it as an adult as well. Many people don’t realize that both ADD and ADHD are mental illness’s. The stuff I am about to convey to you I got off of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website at nami.org.

WHAT IS ADHD?

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. The most commonly diagnosed behavior disorder in young people, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that ADHD affects an estimated 9 percent of children aged 3 – 17 and 2 to 4 percent of adults.

Although ADHD has it onset and is usually diagnosed in childhood, it is not a disorder limited to children – ADHD often persists into adolescence and adulthood and is frequently not diagnosed until later years.

What are the symptoms of ADHD?

There are actually thought to be three different types of ADHD, each with different symptoms: predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive/impulsive and combined.

Those living with the predominantly inattentive type often:

  • fail to pay close attention to details or make careless mistakes in schoolwork, work or other activities;
  • have difficulty sustaining attention to task or leisure activities;
  • do not seem to listen when spoken to directly;
  • do not follow through on instructions and fail to finish schoolwork, chores or duties in the workplace;
  • have difficulty organizing task and activities;
  • avoid, dislike or are reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort;
  • lose thins necessary for tasks or activities;
  • are easily distracted by extraneous stimuli; and are forgetful in daily activities

Those living with the predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type often:

  • fidget with their hands or feet or squirm in their seat;
  • leave their seat in situations in which remaining seated is expected;
  • move excessively or feel restless during situation in which such behavior in inappropriate;
  • have difficulty engaging in leisure activities quietly;
  • are “on the go” or act as if “driven by a motor;”
  • talk excessively;
  • blurt out answers before questions have been completed;
  • have difficulty awaiting their turn; and
  • interrupt or intrude on others.

Those living with the combined type, the most common type of ADHD, have a combination of the inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive symptoms.

It is also important to note that ADHD is a condition that often coexist with other conditions.

I am not going to go into what else NAMI says about ADHD because I feel like if you want to find out you can go to NAMI.org to look up the information for yourselves. I do have to say that when I was child I was put on medication to help with the symptoms of the ADHD. The particular school district I was in from Kindergarten to 9th grade made sure the schools I attended I was taught the proper skills I needed that one day I wouldn’t need to depend on meds to help with the symptoms of ADHD. I am grateful for that because the school district I was in from 10th to 12 grades weren’t to keen on much of anything in regards to the diagnosis of ADHD. In fact they thought the medication I was on need to either be upped or changed. My grandparent gave me the option of what I wanted. I option I chose was to not take the medication and well they were happy I chose the option because I was able to prove to the new school and new school district that I could do it myself without the help of medication because of the skills I had learned in the previous school district I was in. I am not saying to go off any of your meds; I am saying that because I learned the proper skills that I was able to get off meds for the ADHD. Yes, I was under a doctors supervision when I was stopping the ADHD medication. Never stop any medication without proper supervision from a licensed medical provider. I am happy to announce that I have been off of ADHD meds for almost 19 years now. Yes, ADHD does still effect me however I am able to deal with the symptoms of ADHD.

I hope that I was able to convey to you what I wanted to in regards to ADHD. I hope that you learned something in regards to ADHD. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions if have any. Thank you for your time and thank you for reading.

Have a goodnight. I hope to blog on a different diagnosis tomorrow in regards to mental illness. Again have a goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace Out!!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 2: Knowing My Limitations

It’s day two of Mental Health Awareness Week. Again, I am not going to do what I had planned. The reason being is that I need to know my limits as well as my limitations I have had it up to my eye balls with different things in my life and know that I would not be able to convey on what I want to convey about mental illness.

Part of the reason why I have had it up to my eye balls is because one; I am hungry, two; I am tired as hell and three; its just been one of the days for me. Knowing this about myself has been a work in progress. If it wasn’t for the many years of therapy I would have just overextended myself and gone ahead and try to convey on the information I want to educate you on. I am in a good place in my life at the moment and am fully aware that if I overextend myself that the symptoms of my mental illness could rear there ugly head. Having the symptoms of my mental illness rear their ugly head would not only not be beneficial to you the reader and/or follower with me trying to educate you but would not be beneficial to me. I really hope that it doesn’t sound like I am being selfish because I am not trying to sound that way. I am just trying to keep myself well so I can be in a good and positive mind set when I go to work tomorrow. If I don’t take care of myself then I cant be there for you the reader and/or follower as well as be there for the clients at my new job as well as the callers on the Warm Line.

Again, I profusely apologize for not be able to inform you on what I was planning informing you on today. I honestly hope that I will be able to blog on what I was wanting to blog tonight tomorrow. Please find in your hearts to forgive me for needing a mental health day from blogging. Thanks for reading and Peace Out!!!

Mental Health Awareness Week; Day 1

It’s the first day of Mental Health Awareness Week. As I was preparing for this week I realized one major thing. I realized that part of what I wanted to do was give you what the criteria of what the diagnoses are and if I did that then I would be infringing on the copy write law of the DSM 5. So, I decided that I’m not going to put up the criteria for any diagnosis because I don’t want to break any laws. I do have other ways that I will try to educate you all on any diagnosis I discuss.

I plan on discussing the particular diagnoses that I am diagnosed with as well as the one I no longer meet the criteria for. I also plan on continuing the discussion of various types of diagnoses after Mental Health Awareness Week is over. In discussing any diagnosis I hope that I am able to convey what I want to say as well as how I have dealt with the symptoms of a particular diagnosis. If it’s a diagnosis I do not have then I hope to be able to convey on how other have dealt with the particular diagnosis. Being able to convey what I desire to convey in regards mental illness is a pretty huge task for me. I desire to educate people who don’t struggle with mental illness because I hope with education it can stomp out the stigma of mental illness.

Stomping out the stigma of mental illness is a major goal of mine. I know reality is that it wont happen in my lifetime however if I can just be one part of the factor to start the process of stomping out the stigma of mental illness then I have don’t my job. Their are many of us out there in the world trying to stop the stigma of mental illness and we will not stop till it is completely eliminated.

I think I have said enough about what I hope to convey and will continue this discussion tomorrow. I hope that you will continue to read my blog as I continue on my journey with my struggle with mental illness as well as the journey of educating other on mental illness. Peace Out!!!!

Why I Dread October

I could have not have said it any better. I as a woman take breast cancer seriously however, I as a person who struggles with a mental illness takes mental illness and advocacy just as seriously if not more seriously.

embracinglife42910's avatarEmbracing life: 4/29/10

Disclaimer: This is not a bashing on those whom have experienced breast cancer or lost a loved one to breast cancer. My prayers and thoughts go out to those impacted. Breast cancer is real and touches a number of lives. However, if you will read this post, you will see it does not touch near as many lives as mental illness yet gets so much more attention.

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Well, it’s started…the onslaught of pink. Pink ribbon work gloves for men. A number of pink ribbon items for sale at my workplace. Pink ribbon items in EVERY mainline store you enter. Profile pictures gone pink left and right. Pink is on the football fields of all levels. The only way to NOT see pink ribbons all month (and all year) is to crawl under the blankets and never come out. All of this is done in the name of Breast Cancer Awareness…

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Figuring Out How To Succeed At Blogging

Happy Friday!!!! Apparently, I’m not reaching as many people as I hoped I would be. I only have 15 followers and don’t get many views. I am just getting frustrated with myself because I am not blogging as regularly as I was wanting to as well as not doing much educating when it comes to mental illness. I was hoping that I would educate people on particular mental health diagnoses but it appears that something is getting in my way in doing that. That something is me. I’m the one that is hindering the progression of this blog. On the positive side, I know that through my blog that I am showing others that recovery is possible (or at least I think I am).

My thinking was (and still is) when I started this blog was to show others that recovery is possible and that their is hope. I know that my blog is succeeding to a point when it comes to showing others that recovery is possible but it’s not succeeding in other ways. Its not succeeding in the number of followers or views I have or get and I think the reason being is the reason I stated earlier in this blog and that is the education part of it. I am hoping that once things start settling down with the new job as well as the new volunteer job that I will be able to start the education part of this blog. It is my hope that I will educate on the diagnosis’s that I have as well the ones I no longer meet the criteria for. I then hope to do some education on the diagnoses that family members and close friends struggle with and then go on from there.

Now that you heard enough about how my blog is not succeeding let get on to other subjects. I will start with my boyfriend. When he got off from work this morning I had made him breakfast. I made him pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. According to my boyfriend I burned the bacon. He pretty much likes eating bacon raw or at least almost raw. He likes all the fat on it. I do have to say that the fat on the bacon is what makes bacon taste good. After eating breakfast and doing dishes we had some intimate moments. Intimacy is something I personally struggle with because of some severe trauma I experienced as a child and even some trauma I experienced as an adult. With that being said my boyfriend makes me feel safe especially during intimate moments. He is gentle with me and extremely loving.

Speaking of loving, I am loving my new job. Yes, I know a loving partner is completely different than loving your job. I not only love my job, I enjoy it as well. My job gives me great joy even though its not the position I desire. In regards to it not being the position I desire its a foot in the door as well as moving up opportunities.

Since we are on the topic of opportunities, my volunteer job at the Warm Line gives me training opportunities as well as possible career advancement at my current employer and possibly at the Crisis Line where the Warm Line is run out of. Yes, I know what I just said sounds a little selfish but if what I do employment wise as well as volunteering gives me a purpose in life then so be it. I’m improving with being a call taker on the Warm Line and am no longer a deer in head lights. I am finally getting in the grove of things as a call taker.

I so want to share more with you right now but I realize I am hungry and need to figure out what I want to cook for dinner. I’m hoping that my boyfriend will give me some idea’s. Actually, I am hoping that he will do the cooking tonight.  Well, have a good Friday evening everyone. I hope everyone enjoys there weekend and has some fun. Peace out.

It’s Been About A Week

Good Morning!!!! It’s a beautiful day Saturday morning in the region of the United States I live in. Yes, it is still morning where I live. It happens to be 11:49am (pacific time) at the moment or least this is time my cell phone and computer say the time is where I am.

Its been about a week since I last blogged. I am extremely sorry that it has been so long that I have blogged. I’ve been busy with various things that I would love to share with you today.

Lets start with my dad. About two weeks ago my family and I were faced with a difficult decision of the possibility of take my dad off of life support or putting him on a tracheostomy. We had a week to decide and we decided to have he tracheostomy done because he was starting to improve extremely well. In fact I am extremely happy that my family and I made that decision because my dad is now in a care facility that specializes in weaning people off a ventilator. He is now off he ventilator during the day. He is on it at night just in case something happens. He is briefly standing up and sitting. Of course this is with the help of physical therapist. The biggest thing everyone is worried about is his swallowing or the lack there of. I am so happy that my dad is doing so well especially since we (as in my family and I) thought he wasn’t going to make it. I love my dad and I know that he is proud of me.

I know he is proud of me because he told me before all is this happened with his health. He is proud of me because of my new job. My new job is going well. It been nothing but orientations last week and they will continue next week. I really think I am going to enjoy my new job. It’s in the field of my desire even if it’s not the particular job I want. I want to tell you more about it but have to go.

I have to go because I have to finish my laundry and do other chores. I have to go to the stupid post office to mail stuff to social security. Oh how I love sending stuff to social security. NOT!! I have to send stuff to social security because I not only work but have disability benefits due to the mental illness I have. I hope that some day I wont need disability benefits.

Well, it is now officially afternoon. It is 12:09 pm (pacific time). Everyone have a wonderful Saturday afternoon. I hope I have time at some point today to blog more about my job. If not today, tomorrow. Peace Out!!!

Volunteering And Other Stuff

     Well, it’s still Wednesday and I went to my volunteer job. The bad thing is they closed the shelter for they day to spray for different type of bugs. (Don’t worry, when they spray for bugs they open it back up in the evening so clients can check in and get a bed for the night.) I am just frustrated that I went all the way there to have to come back to my boyfriends.

     I guess I am frustrated because my boyfriend had his wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. That’s part of the reason why he took his vacation this week so he could have time to recuperate. Plus he wanted to spend time with me. Anyway, his mom took him to the dentist yesterday since she drives and has a car. I also had to see my therapist so I wouldn’t have been able to take him to the dentist. Getting your wisdom teeth pulled is not very fun especially, when its all four of them. My boyfriend cant chew at the moment and is acting like a big overgrown baby. Hell, I think if I had my wisdom teeth pulled I would be acting like a big baby. Wanting to baby and help my boyfriend today is why I am a little frustrated that I was notified that they wouldn’t need me at my volunteer job today. At least I am getting to spend time with him right now. I just wish I knew how to make him feel better. I know realistically I really cant help him feel better but I wish I could. I love him so much. I know he loves me and wishes I didn’t have to still deal with the trauma I dealt with as a child and as an adult.

     If it weren’t for the shit I went through, I wouldn’t have the passion I do to want to help others and become a peer support specialist. I start training for a peer run warm line next Tuesday. In fact its going to be two days a week for about 5 hours each day for about 4 weeks (which is a month) and that equals to a 40 hour training. The cool thing about being a call taker on a Warm Line is getting different types of training to help you be a better call taker. I also look at it that any training I get being a Warm Line call taker volunteer will help me be a better Peer Specialist when I do eventually get employed as one.

     Speaking of becoming a Peer Specialist or Peer Support, the interview I was suppose to have for the Consumer Aide position last Thursday finally got rescheduled for July 30th. The time is not officially set yet but it is either at 10am or 1pm. I am getting a little nervous about it because by the time I have the interview the job will have been posted for four months. I am nervous that I might be the one they hire. Even though I want this job so badly, I am scared of the job change cause I’ve been at my current employment for 9 years. I know I need a job change because I am bitter at my current employment even though I do enjoy many of my customers and co-workers. I don’t even know if I got the job because I haven’t even had the interview yet. Its difficult  for me to wrap my mind around that a position has been up for nearly four months.

     There are actual Peer Specialist positions up at other agencies that I am thinking about applying for as well. I am a little hesitant to apply to the peer positions the I know I qualify for because I am afraid that I will jinx myself. Even though I am fearful of leaving my current employment I need to get out of there just as badly. I just don’t want to jinx myself and get more interviews and not get any job offers. I will most likely apply for the jobs because I want out of my current employment even though I am fearful of the change.

    Before I get going and put my boyfriend to bed I want to share something with you. I finally got to 1,000 views today. Last time I checked I was at 1,003 views. I just want to know how I can get more views as well as more followers. Oh yeah, I also now have 12 followers. I just wish I knew how to get more followers and more viewers. I have more to tell you but I am getting tired and well my boyfriend is asleep on the couch drooling. It is 11:49pm (pacific time) and I think its time for bed.

    I plan on blogging sometime tomorrow. I hope I remember to tell you what I was planning on sharing tonight. Have good night all. Peace Out!!

Looking Forward To Volunteering Today!!

     It’s Wednesday and that means I go to my volunteer job today. I usually don’t go to my volunteer job when I am vacation from my paid job however I have decided to go today even though I am on vacation. The main reason why I am going is because I miss it if I don’t go. I really enjoy my volunteer job. The employees of the homeless shelter I volunteer at are very appreciative of how much help I am to them and the clients. I don’t think they really know how much volunteering at the homeless shelter actually helps me. I know that last sentence sounds selfish and conceded however volunteering actually helps me in my recovery process. Another reason why I am going today is that my depression is slightly acting up. I realized this yesterday while in session with my therapist. Since my depression is acting up a little bit and it is raining (which doesn’t help my depression), I’ve decided to go to my volunteer job. It gives me something to do and get out of my own head. This is why I say it helps me with my recovery process.

     Well, I better get going. I need to finish getting ready for my volunteer job. I hope to blog again this evening. I’ve come to realize that this blogging thing is helping me in my recovery process more than I thought it would. In fact I didn’t realize that it would actually help me in my recovery process. I started this blog to help those who struggle with mental illness as well as to educate those who don’t struggle with a mental illness. In all reality I don’t think I’m doing much helping or educating. I only have 11 followers. I wish I knew how to reach more people with the blog. Oh well.

     I really need to get going. Like I said earlier I need to finish getting ready for my much loved volunteer job. Have a good Wednesday everyone. Peace out.

Becoming an Advocate For Mental Illness

     Today, I’ve been thinking a great deal about advocacy and mental illness. How does one become an advocate for those who struggle with a mental illness. Usually it’s because the person themselves struggles with mental illness or has a friend or loved one with a mental illness. Then their are those people who choose to be advocates for the mentally ill out of the kindness of their hearts. Most of those who do it out of the kindness of their hearts are usually the professionals like Social Workers, Therapist, Psychologists, etc.. Advocacy for mental health has been out there in world for a while now

     I’ve always been an advocate for myself and my mental health struggles even if I wasn’t aware of it especially in the early years of the diagnosis’s as well as in the height of my struggles with mental illness. It wasn’t until the last two or three years that I’ve realized that I was advocating for other with mental illness and was good at it. In fact the being good at it part was pointed out to me. The realization of advocating for those with mental illness is part of the reason why I started volunteering at a homeless shelter that specializes in those who struggle with mental illness and/or drug & alcohol addictions. Plus the advocating realization is the reason why I got my Peer Counselor certification. Being a peer counselor is basically being an advocate for them and showing your fellow peer who is struggling how to advocate for themselves. I may not be employed as a peer counselor yet but that doesn’t mean I cant still advocate for those who are not able to advocate for themselves yet.

    That is why I have decided to embark on a new journey. Well it’s not so much a new journey but a continuation of the journey I’m already on. I mailed in a volunteer application to National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I also emailed a volunteer application to American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). I did this because I want to speak up for those who are not able to speak up for themselves. I know it might sound like I am taking a lot on especially since I got an email about an hour ago saying that my volunteer application for a local peer run Warm Line was received and asked to attend a training for it in late July through August but all this feel right for me at the moment. Yes, I’m working at a job I don’t like and am looking for a job as a peer counselor however all this that I am doing feels like its what I am suppose to be doing. Maybe it is a lot to take on at one time and its something to think about as well as discuss it with my therapist and other people in my life that support me. Yes, my boyfriend thinks I’m doing what is right for me and what is right for those who struggle with mental illness.

     Another thing I am going to be doing is writing the politicians who represent me and the area I live in. I’m hoping that the politicians I write or email will listen to what I have to say in regards to mental illness and treatment or in a lot of cases the lack of treatment. Lack of treatment is a big issue. Boarding in E.R’s have become a major issue for those who have been involuntarily committed because there are not enough beds. See, now I am getting on a soap box. This is why it is my hope that someone listens to people like me who want better mental health care for those struggling with mental illness.

     Now that I have bored you with my hopes regarding becoming an advocate for those who struggle with mental illness I am going to end this particular blog entry. I am sorry it is so long. It is my desire that some day the stigma that goes along with having a mental illness with be eliminated. Well, have a good rest of your Thursday evening and hope to blog again tomorrow. Peace out all.