Tag Archives: Mom

Missing My Mom + Holiday Emotions

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been two weeks and one day since my mom died. It has been challenging dealing with all that goes with losing a parent especially this time of year as it is the holiday season. Dealing with my mom’s death is adding to the holiday anxiety I struggle with every year which sucks shit and is something I discussed with my therapist today.

In fact my therapist and I discussed a great deal about my emotions especially anxiety and anger as I struggle with both. I struggle with both anxiety and anger as I tend to stuff both of those emotions that end up leading me emotionally and verbally exploding or sadly self harming. I thankfully haven’t self harmed in over a year which is a good thing but sadly I have emotionally and verbally exploded which is not a good thing. We discussed various ways to let out my anxiety and anger especially my anger. In fact my therapist suggested a couple of things to deal with my anger that are a little silly but I think will be helpful. I am really appreciative of my therapist and I am so grateful for her as well as her help with my mental health recovery.

As much as I am appreciative of and grateful for my therapist, I am also extremely grateful for today’s weather here in Seattle as it was sunny. Granted it was chilly outside but I am so grateful for the sun and that it was not freezing or below freezing outside.

Not only am I grateful for today’s weather here in Seattle, I am also beyond grateful for my precious senior kitty, Billie. I love my cat so very much and I don’t know what my life would be like without my cat. The best part of having a cat or any pet is their unconditional love.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

My Second Finished Diamond Art/Painting

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Like I mentioned in a post that I posted last night that I would post a picture of my second finished diamond art/painting. In fact the diamond art/painting is one that I started the day after my mom died which was the day before Thanksgiving. Part of the reason I started this particular diamond art/painting when I did was due to the fact that I finished the first one the day my mom sadly died. The other part of the reason I started this particular diamond art/painting is because it is the holidays and it is a holiday diamond art/painting and something I wanted to add to my holiday traditions. In fact I finished this particular diamond art/painting in a week which was a lot less time than the first one. Of course this one wasn’t as intensive as the last one. So, here is the picture of my second finished diamond art/painting:

This is my second finished diamond art/painting. It is of a cat that is dressed in holiday and Christmas decor.

I really hope you like my Christmas cat diamond art/painting. I added captions to the picture for my readers that are sight impaired or blind. I really do enjoy doing diamond art/painting. I plan to continue to do diamond art/painting for a long time.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in Seattle. Actually it is a few minutes past three o’clock in the morning Seattle time. I am unable to sleep for multiple reasons which include insomnia, PTSD and grieving the recent loss of my mom. Hell, it hasn’t even been two weeks since my mom’s death. I really miss my mom and wish she was still alive.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been doing some things to help me with the grief, PTSD and insomnia. The things I have been doing is reading a book called Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith, listening to music, working on diamond art/painting, and cuddling with my cat, Billie. I love the fact that I can get some cuddle time with my cat especially when I am reading in bed. I am grateful that I can listen to music as I do any type of art including diamond art/painting.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sad Life Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Last Tuesday (November 26, 2024) my mom died. She died from lung cancer two days before Thanksgiving. It is never easy to lose anyone especially during the holidays. I miss my mom and dealing with funeral arrangements is not easy but at least have family helping me out with all that especially my two uncles on my moms side.

To make the grief that much hard Thursday, November 28, 2024 marked exactly five years since my last cat, Lil Brooke crossed over the rainbow bridge which happened to be Thanksgiving this year. In fact Lil Brooke crossed over the rainbow bridge on Thursday, 28, 2019 which also happened to be Thanksgiving that year. Here in the United States lands on the fourth Thursday of November which means it is never the same date.

Anyway, this past Thanksgiving was not the easiest for me to deal with. At least I had friends to spend it with. I also spent it with my current cat, Billie. I am grateful that I have family and good friends checking in on me even though I have no family that lives close by. I am also beyond grateful for my cat, Billie.

I don’t have much more to write about in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Visit mom for Mother’s Day and take her out to dinner

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Make mom breakfast in bed
  • Help mom with chores before going home
  • Cuddle with my cat, Billie after getting home from mom’s house

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Kickball practice

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • In person therapy with therapist
  • In person group therapy
  • Kickball practice

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Lunch with grandpa
  • Kickball practice

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Dinner with grandpa

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Kickball game
  • Hang out with kickball team after kickball team

A Mother’s Day Weekend Sadly Derailed by Covid

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! Right now I am a little disappointed due the fact I cannot go see my mom in Olympia as if she is in the hospital for Covid reasons and is staying in the hospital precautionary reasons. due to my mom having Covid symptoms. Both my mom are disappointed by this but it is unavailable circumstance.

My mom is in the hospital due to the Coved manly due to the fact she had staged three lung cancer and is pecuartionary doe her safety. My mom appears to be in good specials despite being disappointment with my geeing my cat Billie.\

Maybe the nest time I see om I will take my Billie to introduce themeslef to gether.

I do not have much more to say in this blog post. I don’t want to think for reading my blog. Thank for reading my blog.

10 Months Down & 2 Months to Go

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World. It is November 1st, which means the first ten months of the year are gone and we have two months left of the year. This year has gone by super fast. Hell, the years appear to go faster the older I get and I am only in my early forties. Don’t get me wrong I love being my current age, it is just life seems to go faster the older I get especially after the news I received in early summer about my mom.

In fact, I am not sure if I told you or not and I don’t feel like looking over my previous post but my mom has stage three lung cancer. She seems to be doing well. I have been taking to her multiple times a week since I found out and hopefully, I will see her sometime before Thanksgiving. I love my mom dearly and am beyond grateful that she is my mom.

So, hearing about my mom is one of the downs of this year and I have had quite of few of them this year but I have had many ups. I will get to my ups for this year in later. One of the downs I have had was that I got laid off from a job I loved due to the agency closing. I miss my job, colleagues and clients. I did get another job but sadly that didn’t work out and now I have a very part time job and am hoping I can get a full time job sometime soon. So please hope for the best in regards to the job.

As far as my cat Billie, he is doing just fine and dandy. He is loving the fact that I am home a lot more. I am beyond grateful for him and he has been one of the many ups, I have had this year. My cat, Billie means the world to me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. So, again thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

In Need of a Little Help, Please

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am in a bit of a bind. First and fore most I haven’t said anything but my mom has stage three lung cancer and sending what little money I have left due to being unemployed and unemployment dragging their fucking feet. I’m applying for jobs and getting interviews which seem hopeful or most of them appear to be hopeful.

On that note I don’t have enough money to pay rent because I’ve been helping my mom with her cancer stuff and need help with money to pay for my rent please. If I post my PayPal account, will you a few of you help me out please so I can pay for my rent.

I have been apply for unemployment and they are dragging their feet. I have applied for jobs and getting interviews. Now it is just the waiting game with unemployment and weather or not I get at job.

I would also like you to pray or send out positive vivbes/energy or anything else good my moms way for her cancer to be cured.I love my mom and don’t want to loose her as I love her so much.

I would be appreciative if you can donate money to my paypal account at paypal.me/Gertie1979. I hope you can help me in anyway you can, please

Thank for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. Peace Out World!!!

My Go to Wellness Tools When Things are Either Going Well or Not so Well & Sometimes in the Middle

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! Things haven’t had been very good lately but I’m handling them okay. I lost my new job because I wasn’t the right fit and I agree. It turned out to a be mutual agreement and “considered a lay off.” This lay off I’m okay with. The first lay off I wasn’t okay with it due to the fact of how it was handled.

I am putting in applications and going to interviews in the career of my choice as a peer specialist. I have also been applying to old employers I tolerated even the ones that were overnight or twelve plus hours long. Having a job helps me a great deal.

Even though things may not be going so well my cat, Billie has been a huge help. Hell, he is a huge help when things are both going well and not so well. Having an animal around had been quite helpful for me.

Another thing I have found helpful in both the good times and not so good times is volunteering. Volunteering at an animal shelter has been and continues to be quite rewarding. Helping cats find their furrever homes and people a new family member in a cat is one of the best feelings in the world.

Something I have started to do is to start doing math. Specifically, basic math and pre-algerbra. I’m doing this to help me if I get too emotional as well as to keep my math skills up. Having basic math skills is something every adult should have.

Another thing I am taking up is latch hook. I figure taking up a hobby latch hook would be helpful when thing aren’t going so well and even when they are going well.

Of course I’ll still be doing art. Specifically coloring. I am coloring a poster for my mom. She likes that type of thing. She is dealing with cancer and the treatment that goes along with it. Plus her birthday is tomorrow.

I don’t have much more to talk about. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Clean apartment (if my concussion is up to it)
  • Do Math
  • Do a recovery workbook
  • Color picture for mom

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Clean apartment as physical ailments allow
  • Do math
  • Do recovery workbooks
  • Just enjoy the day with my cat Billie (especially when he wants attention)
  • Color picture for mom

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Wait for the phone person to fix my land line phone
  • Hang out with my cat Billie
  • Recovery workbooks
  • Apply for jobs
  • Color picture for mom

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Recovery workbooks
  • Job interview
  • Math
  • Apply for jobs
  • Color picture for mom

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Time with Billie (before scary doctors appointments for me)
  • Doctors appointment
  • Recovery workbooks
  • Math
  • Color picture for mom

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Vet check up for Billie’s dental work
  • Recovery Workbooks
  • Apply for jobs
  • Math
  • Watch Movies
  • Wish mom happy birthday

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Color picture for mom
  • Recovery Workbooks
  • Math