Tag Archives: Recovery

Choosing To Not Worry

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning (again), World!!! As, I told you briefly in my last post I was going to see my dermatologist today which I did. He is concerned about a couple of moles on my back. He removed them and sending them out for an biopsy. Yes, I am a lil fearful about the biopsy as skin cancer runs in my family however I am hopeful about it as well. I am hopeful because I have had other moles biopsied before and there was no hint of cancer. So right now, I’m going to choose to not worry about the biopsy until I get the results and even then there is a high chance I won’t have to worry.

I’ve decided that I’m going to start doing the Intro To Poetry course the WordPress puts on. This is to help me stay focused on blogging. For me staying focused on my blogging helps me have the structure I need and desire. I’m going to post my first poem for the course this evening.

I hope everyone as a good rest of the day and Peace Out, World!!!

 

Another Post About Blogging Sh*t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’ve been thinking about my blog a lot lately. Maybe because I’ve been posting more as of lately and getting my support system to finally follow through on the guest post they will do every other week. It is my hope that I can create a regular schedule on when I will have regular post as well the usual way of how I am already doing thing as posting whenever I feel like it. So the schedule I plan to have is as follows:

Sunday: Weekly Plans. This seems pretty self explanatory. It’s where I plan to tell you what I have planned for the week.

Monday: Weekly Writing prompts. This is where I can write both fiction and nonfiction stories. More or less I hope to be creative in this post as it is my hope for it to be fiction versus nonfiction as I usually write about my own personal experiences.

Tuesday: To Be Determined (TBD)

Wednesday: Guest Post. This is the day where my support system will write what its like to deal with a loved one who has lived experience. The primary guest bloggers will be Junior and Mama Bear. Junior and Mama Bear worked it out to where Junior will post on the first and third Wednesdays of the month and Mama Bear will post on the second and fourth Wednesdays of the month. As for the rare fifth Wednesday, I’ll get a special guest. Hopefully, someone who has been an inspiration to me, the peer community or the blogging community.

Thursday: To Be Determined (TBD)

Friday: Fun Facts. Fun Facts will include weird and/or random facts about things around the world as well as about me.

Saturday: Weekly Check-in. This is where I inform you how my week went and what I did. It’s more or less a post about how my week went.

As you can tell I have high hopes regarding keeping a regular schedule with blogging. I don’t want to not post and lose you as reader yet I don’t want to overwhelm you feed or email with too many post. I’m attempting to find a happy medium with blogging.

Something else I am going to do is take free courses that WordPress does. I’ll being doing everything from poetry to photography to inspired writing. I’m doing this in hopes to keep myself interested in blogging as well as you interested in reading my blog.

In fact keeping you my reader interested is why I am creating a schedule as well as having special guest and weekly writing prompts that hopefully will be fictional along with weekly plans and check-ins. Having a blogging schedule will also give me the structure I so desperately need and desire.

Thanks for reading about my blogging woes once again. I need to get going and get ready for the day as I have a doctors appointment with my dermatologist. I hope everyone has a great day and enjoys life. Peace Out, World

Things I’m Learning From The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook; Chapter 1

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been a long day for me. I started of the day having breakfast at place called Biscuit Bitch with former colleagues who I have become close friends with. Food and friends is always a good thing even if its at 7:30 in the morning. I, then went to Day Treatment today and saw my temporary therapist Gilbert. Todays session with Gilbert was more difficult than it usually is. I might talk about the session in a later post.

If you been reading my blogging regularly as of lately, you will know that I started a workbook called The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook by Anneliese Singh. I’m going to make every effort to tell you what I have learned after each chapter.

CHAPTER 1; GETTING REAL: DEFINING YOUR LGBTQ SELF IN A WOLD THAT DEMANDS COMFORMITY:

As the title of the chapter states, it has you define your LGBTQ self in the world around us. The chapter starts off asking how one identifies their sexual orientation and their gender identity. As it continues it starts asking about what you’re comfortable with sharing. This is the part where it started getting challenging for me as I think it depends on the situation I may be in.

Another part of chapter one that was difficult was searching within myself about affirmations I have toward myself and not just as an LGBTQ individual. This was difficult because I have very low self esteem and some if it is because of my gender identity and sexual orientation and some of it is not. Affirmations is something I need to work on and Gilbert agrees. He wants me to acknowledge that I have great affirmations and say them out loud.

Affirmations which I will say eventually. Maybe even after the end of this post. I should go and eat. Peace Out, World!!!

The Start of a Good Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Good News is that I got a relatively good nights sleep no matter how little I did sleep. I’m grateful that I got some good sleep.

Not only am I starting off the day with some good sleep, I’m going to be having breakfast with some former colleagues at Biscuit Bitch. Biscuit Bitch is near my old employer and people who work where I worked get a discount there. Biscuit Bitch serves biscuits and gravy. Their biscuits and gravy some of the best I’ve had especially since it reminds me when lived in Nashville for a year in my early twenties. Southern food such as biscuits and gravy seems to be yummy. Well all of it except grits.

As much as I am looking forward to breakfast with former colleagues, I’m hoping to hear back from potential employers. I’ve been applying to Peer Specialist jobs as well as similar jobs so I can hopefully go back to work. I don’t know if I’m 100% ready to go back to work especially full time but its worth a shot to at least get an interview or two.

I’m realizing what the time is and should start getting ready to go as I don’t want to be late meeting up wit former colleagues before they start work. I hope everyone has a great day at work. Peace Out, World!!!

Taco Tuesday + People Who Care = Fun Times

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been a rainy Tuesday here in Seattle and has been a pretty low key day for me. Low key as in not really doing anything regarding attending appointments for my mental health conditions/challenges. In all honesty it’s nice to not have really focus on my mental health or at least when it comes to having to attend appointments, groups and so on.

As I mentioned earlier, its been a rainy day here in Seattle. Its actually not exactly “rain,” its the typical Seattle gloomy drizzle. Even though its the typical Seattle gloomy drizzle, Junior and I are kept low key.

We started off the day with some intimate moments. Intimate moments we haven’t had in quite some time do to my mental health symptoms being so severe. Yes, they are still pretty bad however they a improving. Improving enough that Junior you had not just one intimate moment today but several.

After a day of several intimate moments, Junior and I made dinner for a dinner party. We made the fixings for taco’s. We typically have dinner parties on the weekends however we saw it fitting to have a dinner party involving taco’s on Tuesday in honor of Taco Tuesday. As we had a taco bar with our friends we watched the movie; Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman never gets old. Everyone enjoyed themselves. Fun times were had by everyone.

Thank you for reading about a laid back and relaxing day. I hope everyone has a good rest of the work week. Peace Out, World.

 

The Joys of Being a Homeless Advocate and Pearl Jam Fan

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It was announced yesterday that Pearl Jam is going to be playing their first concert here in Seattle in over five years. I, as Pearl Jam fan am beyond thrilled that they are finally coming back to Seattle to hold a concert. Not just one but two concerts and am looking forward to attending at least one of them.

As being a Pearl Jam fan finding out that they’re coming to the city you live isn’t exciting enough but being a homeless advocate this is even more exciting. Pearl Jam having what they are calling “home shows” is going to be donating money to help fight homelessness. If you been following my blog for a while you know I am a huge homeless advocate. It just happens I haven’t blogged much about it since I haven’t been doing all that well. However, with the news that was announced yesterday, and the hope that I am slowly getting back, it reignited my passion to help the homeless population. In fact they will be donating one million dollars. That money can and will going really far if they know where to donate it.

So as you can tell, that as I end this post, I am filled with hope and joy that one of my favorite band is playing two “home shows” and fight homelessness at the same time. Thank you for reading my blog once again. Peace Out, World!!!

P.S. I want to thank Pearl Jam for their donation to help end the homeless crisis here in Seattle.

Hey, It’s Me Junior

Posted on by jjuniorz

Good Morning!!! Gertie asked me to post a reintroduction of myself as she stated in a post on Sunday. Apparently, they want myself and Mama Bear to alternate weeks on to post on what its like to be a support person to someone who has lived experience with a mental health condition.

I am thrilled to be doing this as I will have a point of view you may not have regarding mental health. I strongly support Gertie in their recovery and them trying to educate others to lessen the stigma that goes with the struggles of having a mental health condition as well as giving others hope who do struggle.

I’ve known Gertie for over 17 years. Gertie and I have been partners for nearly five years now and they are the love of my life. It is because of Gertie that I see the world from a different perspective than I did before. They have a way of helping people like that.

Thank you for reading. Have a good day.

Is It Too Much To Ask That I Get Some Sleep?

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’m finding myself not being able to sleep once again. Its not like that I don’t have a regular sleep hygiene plan I do ninety percent of the time. Before, I go on let me give you the definition of sleep hygiene: Sleep hygiene is a variety of different practices and habits that are necessary to have good nighttime sleep quality and full daytime alertness.

I do have multiple practices and habits that I do a good portion of the time. Yes, I do need to do some things differently however for the most part my sleep hygiene plan works despite having “treatment resistant insomnia.” Not sure what exactly that means but I know that part of my nighttime ritual is to take sleep meds every other night. In fact my sleep hygiene schedule is (all times are Pacific Time):

9pm: Read a book or comic book,

10pm: Color and/or jigsaw puzzle while listening to music.

11pm: Eleven O’clock news.

11:30pm: Meds

11:35pm: The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

12:30am: Meditation/Mindfulness practice

12:45am: Lights out and bed time.

7am: Out of bed no later than seven o’clock in the morning except weekends then its eight o’clock in the morning, no matter what. This is to help with good sleep habits.

Despite not having very good sleep that last few days I haven’t taken a nap. That’s another important part of having a good sleep hygiene plan is to try and not take naps. If you do limit the length of the nap and try to not make it late in the day. I’m pretty good at not taking naps. Another key part to good sleep hygiene is to go to bed at the same time at night and get up at the same time in morning. I have found this quite helpful. The thing I need to work on is to lessen the about of caffeine and sugar I have before bed as this can be a hindrance to getting a good night sleep.

Of course my PTSD nightmares don’t help with me not sleep through the night however that’s why I take meds for nightmares. The meds for nightmares appear to be helping.

I should really get going and try to get back to sleep. Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Slightly Struggling in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am struggling at the moment. I’m struggling with self harm urges. I WILL NOT ACT ON MY URGES TO SELF HARM!!! (I AM NOT SUICIDAL!!!) I am struggling because of my Depression and PTSD symptoms. Symptoms I talked to Gilbert about in my session with him today. I’m starting to trust him which is a major deal since he identifies as male. I usually have trouble trusting men especially in the therapeutic relationship.

Gilbert and myself came up with a safety plan. One of the items on the safety plan is blogging. Blogging is quite helpful for me. It helps me get out of my own head.

Gets me out of my head enough to focus on art work. I’m going be focusing on coloring today since I got a new coloring book today. I also have colored pencils I haven’t used yet due to waiting for this coloring book.

Coloring helps me focus to where I will be able to read. I’ll most likely  be reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I’m really loving the book. If you are a Sci Fi and/or Fantasy genre fan I highly recommend it.

Now that I’ve told you my safety plan, I’m going to go and eat. I want to reassure you that; I’M NOT SUICIDAL & WON’T ACT ON MY URGES TO SELF HARM. I hope everyone has a good evening and good week. Peace Out, World.

Hello, It’s Me Again; Mama Bear

Posted on by mamabearraine

Hello! I am the motherly figure in Gertie’s life that they fondly refer me as “Mama Bear.” I haven’t posted in quite sometime and was asked by Gertie to do a brief reintroduction of myself.

I have known Gertie for over 17 years and have seen her grow as person as well as in their recovery. Yes, Gertie has been struggling the last year however I still see them making strides as a person and in their recovery.

As Gertie stated in their post yesterday, they want Junior and myself to post every other week and alternate the weeks we post with the excepting of this week. From my understanding Junior will be posting tomorrow. My post will mainly consist of what its like to be a motherly figure to someone who has lived experience. That shouldn’t be too difficult for me to convey as I am a mother of four children and my two youngest deal with their own mental health struggles. In fact Gertie is a role model and example of what recovery looks like to all four of my children especially my two youngest.

Thank you for reading.