Recovery Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an uneventful day for me and right now that is a good thing. It’s a good thing because recent events regarding an assault I experienced and the death of my grandma.

I have been doing one of my workbooks for most of the day. The workbook I have been doing is The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook. I have been finding it quite helpful for me not just in regards to my gender identity and sexual orientation but my recovery as well.

In fact realizing my gender identity and sexual orientation is apart of my recovery. Something that Junior is proud of me for acknowledging as well as accepting me as I am and loving me. I consider myself as a gender fluid, non-binary, pansexual individual and Junior loves me as I am.

I have also been doing another workbook called The Mindfulness Workbook to help me keep up my mindfulness practice’s. I have been finding this helpful with my recovery as well as my everyday life. It’s been quite helpful in ways I never thought were possible. It has been helping me be more mindful of the present moment.

Speaking of being mindful of the present moment, I realize I am hungry and need to eat. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World.

Tuesday Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is eleven thirty at night in my neck of the woods and it appears it could be a sleepless night for me. I’m not sure way I get that feeling but I do.

I think once I am done writing this post, I am going to work on one of my workbooks. I am going to work on The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook as I have been finding quite helpful for my recovery and gender identity. Being able to acknowledge my gender identity without shame is awesome. I am proud to be a gender non-conforming, non-binary, pansexual individual.

Being able to do workbooks is quite helpful for me and my recovery. I look at doing workbooks as part of the many things I do to be in recovery. Kind of like taking meds and going to therapy is apart of my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Evening Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It’s been a good Sunday with a few bumps in the road and I am okay with the bumps in the road. Bumps in the road that I know I can get through with the help of my DBT skills and support of others.

People like Junior. Junior has be quite supportive of me for years and today was just one such day I appreciated his support and love. I also appreciate the intimate love making moments we had today as well. Moments that neither one of us take for granted because of the year I had, my sexual drive was pretty non-existent due to the symptoms of my mental health conditions. Junior has been one very patient man.

Something that I have realized that has helped me are the workbooks I have been doing. Today, I have been working on my workbook on resiliency and my gender identity. Something Junior supports and loves most about me.

Thank you for reading as I want to do my workbook and spend quality time with Junior. Thanks!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Stereotypes, Everyone Has Them

Good Morning, World!!! I have decided to do a post on stereotypes because lets face it; everyone has them. Stereotypes differ from person to person and one’s culture could play major role in how we stereotype others.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about this for a multitude of reasons. One of the reasons is I’ve seen multiple negative post about millennials on Facebook. Yes, I have seen some funny post posted by millennials yet the negative post I’ve seen have been posted by folks in my generation. I know that many folks in the generation before mine had their stereotypes of Generation Xers as being the “lazy generation.” I don’t know about being lazy but I do know this partly why folks in different generations to not respect those who of a different age.

Another stereotypes are race and ethnicity. For example some folks thinks all Asians are geniuses because they do well in school and in the business and technology aspects in life. While another stereotype which is unfortunately a negative one is that those who are Hispanic or Latino/Latina are illegal immigrants. Similar thing to African American people specifically males that they are all thugs or gang members. Or those who are in the LGBTQ community are all child molesters.  Having stereotypes toward folks is never a good thing as you are judging someone by the color of their skin.

Same thing goes towards people with disabilities and mental health conditions/challenges as individuals usually don’t act and/or learn the same way everyone else does. So what if this is true. Those of use with disabilities and/or mental health conditions tend to be more caring, loving, compassionate and empathetic than others.

Folks are stereotyped by there gender, religion, sexual orientation, race, education, and so on. So I ask that we put away are stereotypes of people and get to know them as a person. Thanks you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

 

Sleepless, Once Again, in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I’m Sleepless in Seattle, once again. Since, I am having trouble I decided to work on my workbook: The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook. I am finding this quite challenging for me as its really digging deep into who I am as a genderqueer non-conforming person. Stuff that I’ve been talking to both my therapist, Gilbert, and case manager about. They are helping me process what I need to while doing this workbook.

I also decided to start another self-help work book called The Mindfulness Workbook. It’s a beginners guide to overcoming fear and embracing compassion. I figured since one of my goals for 2018 was to increase my mindfulness and meditation skills. I am incorporating this into my daily practice now in the mornings.

Mindfulness seems to be helping me a great deal with my emotions and how I reacting to them and situations. Gilbert even mentioned it on Friday which shocked me as I wasn’t sure he was observing that.  It’s even helping my mental health symptoms.

Unfortunately, the lack of sleep is not helping with the mental health symptoms which is why I should get going. I think I will try to go and attempt to get some sleep. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Pride Parade 2015

It has been a long, exhausting yet exuberating day. I marched in the pride parade today with my employer. It was awesome and an honor to march along side with my co-workers and clients. Many of the clients were quite surprised that many staff were not getting paid for their time marching in the parade. The cool thing about marching in today parade is that I had an option on who to march with. I could have marched with the Warm Line and Crisis Clinic staff and volunteers since I’m a volunteer with the Warm Line. I also had the opportunity to march with fellow volunteers as well as “guest” of the young adult homeless shelter I recently started volunteering at. In fact a couple of “guest” of the young adult shelter were disappointed I wasn’t marching with them however they understood why I would be marching with my employer.

My fiancé, Junior, even marched the pride parade. In fact he was with his employer. Junior is a firefighter and plays the bagpipes. Yes, that means he was marching in his rainbow colored kilt playing the bagpipe with the fire department pipes and drums. Junior, is quite the talented bagpiper. Unfortunately, I was unable to see Junior march in todays parade because I, too was marching in the parade.

Marching in todays pride parade had me thinking about my junior high and high school years. I was in marching band and loved it. Marching in todays parade had me realize how much I miss being in band.

Enough with my marching band days in junior high and high school and back to Pride Parade and its festivities. Today, was a warm, humid, cloudy day. In fact while marching in the parade, the weather decided to throw a thunder and lightning storm in the mix. In fact the rain felt good. The clients loved it. In fact they broke out into song. Not just any song. They sung “Dancing in the Rain.” Yes, they even started dancing. I wish I was able to get a picture of it however due to HIPPA laws I was unable to do so. In fact even some of my co-workers decided to join in the singing and dancing in the rain. I didn’t because I was enjoying the fact that the clients were enjoying the moment. It was a blast had by all.

After the parade I decided to go and volunteer at the booth my employer had set up. I volunteered for about an hour an half. It was nice to be able to educate the community about mental illness and homeliness and the effects it has on our community. The reason I decided to volunteer at my employers booth was not only to be able to educate the community but because Junior was farther down the parade route than I was and was wanting to do something productive as he was finishing up his portion of the parade.

When Junior was done with his portion of parade he stopped by my employers booth to come and “pick me up.” We then walked around the pride festivities and enjoyed our time together. In fact we discussed our wedding and how we are thrilled that one of his sister is now able to get married to the woman of her dreams anywhere in the United States as soon as she finds her. Isn’t it the most wonderful thing that now anyone can marry the person that they love despite their gender and the gender of their partner?

As we walked around the festivities we noticed some people holding up religious signs. In fact some of those signs were just plain ole hateful. I thought Christianity was a religion of love and compassion and not of hate and ignorance. Not only did the signs say hateful thing, the people holding the signs were saying hateful things. In fact one person told a little girl of 7 or 8 years old that not only are her daddies going to hell but she is as well. A nearby uniformed police officer stepped in and spoke up for that family. I just cant comprehend why people are so hateful especially to children.

Now that Junior and myself are home, we are relaxing. It has been a good day and am grateful that I was able to be alive during a part of a positive event in American History. I hope to blog again soon. Have good rest of your weekend. Peace out!!!

Love Wins In The United States; Same-Sex Marriage Now Legal in All 50 States

As many people in the United States (and around the world) are aware of by now, the United States Supreme Court ruled yesterday that same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. Yes, all 50 states. I, like many around the country shed tears of joy when I heard the joyous news.

I shed tears of joy because this means that many people are now able to marry the person of their dreams, just like I am able to do so. I may be madly in love with Junior and engaged to marry him, I consider myself pansexual. For those of you that don’t know what pansexual is, the definition is as follows: not limited in sexual choice with biological sex, gender or gender identity. Yes, Junior knows I’m pansexual and he is fine with it. For me falling in love with the person of my dreams has nothing to do with the persons gender, gender identity or sexual orientation, it has to do with the persons personality. I fell in love with Junior because of who he is on the inside. I am thrilled I am able to marry Junior and just as thrilled same-sex couples are able to marry now.

Unfortunately, many people aren’t exactly thrilled with the Supreme Court ruling. It seems that the people who aren’t thrilled with the ruling happen to be people of faith and not just any faith; Christianity. The reason I say this is because I’ve noticed that on many social media sites (including WordPress) that Christians were being out right hateful. For example, I had posted on my the Facebook account I have for my given name, that I was beyond thrilled that same-sex marriage is now legal. Many people who are Christians on that particular account started messaging, texting, calling and emailing me saying they were offended and that I was “going to hell” because I support “gay marriage.” I even had a handful of people block me. I’m fine with that because if they are going to get offended for something I support then I don’t need them in my life. I just cant comprehend why a particular religion that preaches love and compassion can be so hateful when it comes to people getting married to the person they love even if that person is the same gender as they are. I am trying so hard to not be so judgmental toward that particular faith because I know many kind-hearted Christians out there and some of them even support same-sex marriage.

The ruling of same-sex marriage couldn’t have come at better time. It’s not only came in Gay Pride Month but the biggest weekend for the LGBT community; pride weekend. Yesterday, was a historical moment in United States history. I am beyond happy that this happened in my lifetime. I am sure that there are going to be many people and various types of groups that are going to try to get this ruling overturned. No matter how hard people may try to get the ruling overturned its never going to happen. Too many people will fight just as hard if not harder to keep the ruling in place.

I need to get going. I am heading out to pride festivities before I go and volunteer at the Warm Line. I know that the pride festivities will be more giddy than they have been in previous years because of yesterdays ruling. I love going to pride festivities. I hope to be able to blog after I get home from pride events and volunteering. Have a good day everyone and stay safe. Peace out!!!!