The Importance of Respecting People’s Pronouns & Gender Identity

I’ve debated about writing this article because sadly it is still a controversial issue. A controversial issue that is one of many issues that is dividing this country apart. An issue that has been near and dear to me for decades yet never spoke up about it till I worked at a local mental health agency.

The topic I have chosen to write about is about respecting people’s pronouns and gender identity. This topic is quite important to me as I have never really identified as my perceived gender; female. I’ve considered myself to be genderqueer or non-binary or genderfluid and go by the pronouns they/them for quite some time yet never really corrected people for a multitude of reasons until recently.

It wasn’t until I got my first position at a local mental health agency when I realized the importance of respecting people’s pronouns and gender identity including my own. When I started working with clients who have felt disrespected by folks who didn’t respect their gender identity and/or the pronouns the individual goes by, I didn’t realize the impact it had on me when I advocated on their be behalf. It was in my job descriptions as a Consumer Aide and Peer Specialist to be an advocate for the clients I served.

Advocating for the clients I served regarding their pronouns and gender identity especially among a handful of my colleagues was not the easiest of things to do. It wasn’t easy to do at first because, I never really advocated for myself regarding my gender identity or preferred pronouns since the people closest to me already knew and respected this about me. So, when it became loud and clear to me in the first month of working in the mental health field that if it matters to the individuals I served, then it needs to matter to me as an individual who doesn’t go by societies gender norms. I’m not saying it didn’t matter to me before because it did however the Universe had used the clients I served on how important it is for me and my recovery as well as, the clients I use to serve.

As I came to terms with advocating for my clients and myself at work in the mental health field, I quickly realized that my own mental health treatment team didn’t know my preferred pronouns or that I identify as a genderfluid, non-binary, genderqueer individual. So, I decided if I am able to advocate for myself and my clients at work then I can advocate for myself with my treatment team. When I mentioned my gender identity and preferred pronouns, I found myself being on the receiving end of the advocacy I once did for my clients.

Why is it so important to respect people’s gender identity and preferred pronouns? Statistics show that 82% of transgender and non-conforming individuals don’t feel safe at work and/or school. The same stats show that 67% have been bullied online while 64% have had property destroyed. The effecting of being bullied especially regard gender identity are: six times more likely to be depressed; eight times more likely to attempt to die by suicide; and three times more likely to have a substance use disorder (SUD). To answer the question of why is it important to respect a person’s gender identity and pronouns is that it can literally safe someone’s life and is common courtesy to do so. It is also important that we respect each other as fellow human beings and that we value each other as individuals even if we don’t always get along.

Thank you for reading my lengthy article on respecting peoples pronouns and gender identity. The one thing I want you all to get out of this article is that gender identity plays a major role on who we are as individual’s as well as our mental health.

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Finding the Hope in the Little Things

Good Afternoon, World!!! The last year and a half has been quite the struggle for me yet every time I feel like I am making some ground something trips me up. Sort of like tripping over the other shoe dropping.

Yet when I am tripping over the other shoe dropping, I tend to find the hope in the little things. Little things like reading a book or listening to my favorite music or even creating art. Yes, all the above mentioned give me hope yet something else gave me the hope I needed for this moment in time

That hope came from the two workbooks I am doing. One is about resiliency regarding my sexual orientation of being a pansexual and gender identity of being a non-binary, gender fluid individual. The other workbook is on mindfulness. So the workbooks I am doing on resiliency on who I am with my gender identity and sexual orientation as well as being mindful of being in the moment is what is giving me hope. Hope of who I am as an individual despite tripping over the other shoe dropping.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 12: Critique a Piece of Work

Today’s topic is to critique a piece of art work or express my opinion on a topic. As someone who is extremely self critical I thought I would harshly critique my own art so I have decided to express my opinion on something.

Actually, what I want to discuss my opinion on is the importance of respecting people’s pronouns. Unfortunately, this one of the many issues that is dividing the United States at the moment and I personally think its sad.

Not everyone goes by the gender they were given at birth. I don’t go by female pronouns. Hell, I don’t go by male pronouns either. I go by they/them pronouns as I consider myself gender nonconforming or non binary.

So as you can tell this topic is near and dear to my heart. Many folks like myself are very passionate about this subject as we want to be respected like others. It’s important for the respect factor as well as many other factors. Factors that are stated below.

Why is it so important to respect people’s gender identity and preferred pronouns? Statistics show that 82% of transgender and non-conforming individuals don’t feel safe at work and/or school. The same stats show that 67% have been bullied online while 64% have had property destroyed. The effecting of being bullied especially regard gender identity are: six times more likely to be depressed; eight times more likely to attempt to die by suicide; and three times more likely to have a substance use disorder (SUD). To answer the question of why is it important to respect a person’s gender identity and pronouns is that it can literally safe someone’s life and is common courtesy to do so. It is also important that we respect each other as fellow human beings and that we value each other as individuals even if we don’t always get along.

Recovery Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! It has been an uneventful day for me and right now that is a good thing. It’s a good thing because recent events regarding an assault I experienced and the death of my grandma.

I have been doing one of my workbooks for most of the day. The workbook I have been doing is The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook. I have been finding it quite helpful for me not just in regards to my gender identity and sexual orientation but my recovery as well.

In fact realizing my gender identity and sexual orientation is apart of my recovery. Something that Junior is proud of me for acknowledging as well as accepting me as I am and loving me. I consider myself as a gender fluid, non-binary, pansexual individual and Junior loves me as I am.

I have also been doing another workbook called The Mindfulness Workbook to help me keep up my mindfulness practice’s. I have been finding this helpful with my recovery as well as my everyday life. It’s been quite helpful in ways I never thought were possible. It has been helping me be more mindful of the present moment.

Speaking of being mindful of the present moment, I realize I am hungry and need to eat. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World.

Tuesday Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is eleven thirty at night in my neck of the woods and it appears it could be a sleepless night for me. I’m not sure way I get that feeling but I do.

I think once I am done writing this post, I am going to work on one of my workbooks. I am going to work on The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook as I have been finding quite helpful for my recovery and gender identity. Being able to acknowledge my gender identity without shame is awesome. I am proud to be a gender non-conforming, non-binary, pansexual individual.

Being able to do workbooks is quite helpful for me and my recovery. I look at doing workbooks as part of the many things I do to be in recovery. Kind of like taking meds and going to therapy is apart of my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Evening Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It’s been a good Sunday with a few bumps in the road and I am okay with the bumps in the road. Bumps in the road that I know I can get through with the help of my DBT skills and support of others.

People like Junior. Junior has be quite supportive of me for years and today was just one such day I appreciated his support and love. I also appreciate the intimate love making moments we had today as well. Moments that neither one of us take for granted because of the year I had, my sexual drive was pretty non-existent due to the symptoms of my mental health conditions. Junior has been one very patient man.

Something that I have realized that has helped me are the workbooks I have been doing. Today, I have been working on my workbook on resiliency and my gender identity. Something Junior supports and loves most about me.

Thank you for reading as I want to do my workbook and spend quality time with Junior. Thanks!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Stereotypes, Everyone Has Them

Good Morning, World!!! I have decided to do a post on stereotypes because lets face it; everyone has them. Stereotypes differ from person to person and one’s culture could play major role in how we stereotype others.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about this for a multitude of reasons. One of the reasons is I’ve seen multiple negative post about millennials on Facebook. Yes, I have seen some funny post posted by millennials yet the negative post I’ve seen have been posted by folks in my generation. I know that many folks in the generation before mine had their stereotypes of Generation Xers as being the “lazy generation.” I don’t know about being lazy but I do know this partly why folks in different generations to not respect those who of a different age.

Another stereotypes are race and ethnicity. For example some folks thinks all Asians are geniuses because they do well in school and in the business and technology aspects in life. While another stereotype which is unfortunately a negative one is that those who are Hispanic or Latino/Latina are illegal immigrants. Similar thing to African American people specifically males that they are all thugs or gang members. Or those who are in the LGBTQ community are all child molesters.  Having stereotypes toward folks is never a good thing as you are judging someone by the color of their skin.

Same thing goes towards people with disabilities and mental health conditions/challenges as individuals usually don’t act and/or learn the same way everyone else does. So what if this is true. Those of use with disabilities and/or mental health conditions tend to be more caring, loving, compassionate and empathetic than others.

Folks are stereotyped by there gender, religion, sexual orientation, race, education, and so on. So I ask that we put away are stereotypes of people and get to know them as a person. Thanks you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World