Getting Sleepy

Hello, World!!! It’s nine thirty at night in my corner of the world. I am getting sleepy as I read my book. A book that I am immensely enjoying. A book I don’t want to put down however if I can get some sleep I am willing to put the book down. I’m thinking sleep is on the horizon for me.

Thank you for reading. I hope I am able to sleep tonight. Goodnight, World!!!

Therapy + Winter Olympics = Good Self-Care

Good Evening, World!!!  Today, overall has been good with some challenges. Challenges that I will be able deal with, with the help of my mental health treatment team. I saw Gilbert today and we talked about my grandma and the grief I am dealing even though she is still alive. Grief of loosing my grandma and the unknown on when she is going to go.  We also discussed some trauma related stuff. Stuff I never even told Diana. So, I feel like with all the work I did with Diana, I made a lot of progress today with Gilbert as I don’t think it would have been possible even five years ago. Gilbert also gave me some therapy homework. That is to acknowledge one thing I did well today and sit with in for five seconds. So I’m going to do it.

I also went to Art Group today and made a collage. A collage on how I want to view myself. I showed Gilbert my collage. He said that he’s “impressed” my collage from art group and other art I do outside of art group.

Now I am watching the Winter Olympics and enjoying myself. I love the fact that watching the Olympics can be helpful for me and is self care for me. Self-Care that is much need right now as I deal with my grandma being in hospice care as well as sharing some trauma related stuff with Gilbert.

Thanks, very much for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: Why I Write

Good Afternoon, World!!! I write for a multiple reasons. Reasons, I had planned to write about and reasons that were unexpected.

Let’s start by why I started my blog. I started my blog for two main reasons. The first reason was to help educate people who don’t have lived experience that folks like myself who do have lived experience can live a productive life. It may not be productive in the eyes of a “normal” person but productive from my perspective.

The second reason I started blogging was to give those who struggle with a mental health condition/challenge that there is hope in choosing to live in active recovery whatever that may look like to the individual reading. Yes, I’ve shared by heartbreak and struggles here but I’ve gotten up and wiped myself off and hope that what I share give those who have lived experience some sort of hope.

There were some unexpected reasons I blog. The first happens to be advocacy. I didn’t realize that I could advocate here on my blog. Advocacy is something I love to do and am proud that I am able to do it on my blog. The other unexpected reason I write is that I have found that it helps me with my own recovery. My recovery means the world to me.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of you because if it wasn’t for you the reader I would not be writing on this blog. Thanks, again. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Morning Rambling

Good Morning, World!!! If you read my first to blogs of the day, you would know that I had trouble sleeping. Hell, I got no sleep whatesoever but that didn’t stop be from trying to do what I needed to do to take care of myself.

Taking care of myself during sleepless nights looks different each night however there is some common ground; DBT skills. Using my DBT skills helps me with various things in my life such as not sleeping.

One of the skills of the things I did last night was read. I read a History text book. I am finding it quite interesting. I love history. It was one of my favorite subjects in school.

Another thing I did last night was some art. I painted. On some of my paintings I also did some collaging as well.

As I read and did art I listen to music which helped me. Music helped by soothing me. I love music.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

The End of the Road

Think back to a moment where you’ve come to the end of the road with something important in your life—a relationship with a lover; moving out of your childhood home; graduation from school; etc. Write a scene wrapped around that moment, describing how you felt (good and bad) and how you closed the door on that chapter in your life.

This writing prompt is difficult as I can come up with a lot of end of road stories that have influenced me to where I am at in the moment in time. If it wasn’t for end of road experiences I wouldn’t be in recovery. In recovery with an eating disorder or mental health. I wouldn’t be working on my recovery with self-harm.

Its the end of the road experiences that I have experienced has been what Oprah called Awe-Ha moments. Moments that have changed my life and hope that the experiences I have had can help change the lives of others so they can go on and help others themselves.

Thinking about the end of the road not only has me thinking about my recovery but my grandma and her currently being in home hospice care. For her its the end of the road yet she still has her sense of humor. The same sense of humor that I have to help me through her dying. I hope as I deal with my grandma dying I hope I can laugh at life like she has.

Ugh, I Just Want to Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! I am still wide awake. I’m not sure exactly why I am not able to sleep but it’s starting to get a little annoying. Yes, maybe it’s because I have “treatment resistant insomnia” but I think something is bothering me. I’m not sure what but something is.

Yes, I realize it could be my grandma and dealing with her being at deaths door because she is in hospice care. Dealing with my grandma being in hospice is not easy yet I honestly don’t think it’s the reason I am unable to sleep.

I just wish I knew why I couldn’t sleep because if I did then maybe I could sleep. It’s something that I need to be able to work on my recovery. Hell, it not only helps with my recovery be it helps with staying physically healthy.

Thank you for reading. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Rambling

Good Morning, World!!! It appears from my end that I will have another sleepless night here in Seattle. I’m getting quite annoyed with not being able to sleep. My now former psychiatric nurse practitioner says I have treatment resistant insomnia. It sucks hard core hearing this but at least someone is being upfront with me regarding this shit is quite helpful for me.

Something that has been helpful to me and my sleep is practicing mindfulness and meditation skills. Some skills I learned through DBT while I learned other skills through other sources.

I think I’m going to get going and use some mindfulness skills. Have good rest of you night/morning, every. Peace Out, World!!!