Tag Archives: Addiction

Update From Last Blog Post

Posted on by Gertie

As I stated in my last blog post, I bought some drugs to help numb the pain of the trauma I experienced a couple of months ago. PTSD suck shit and so does depression. Sadly, I took the pills and they are not doing what I had hoped they would do. Which proves to me that the positive skills that I built over the years help much better that the stupid ass drugs. So no more drugs for me in pill form or in any form for that matter.

The one thing that really helps with my mental health symptoms is my cat, Billie. Billie gives me the unconditional love that I am in much need of. Cats as well as other pets know how to give unconditional love. I love my cat, Billie so very much and I am so grateful for him.

Speaking of love, I know that my friends and family love me. I may not always get along with my family but I know that they love me and support me the best they can. My friends love me as well and are my best support besides my cat being my best support. I love the fact that I have the support of my friends and family.

Lets not forget music and how it gives me a high that drugs do not give me the high. Music gives me great memories and memories to last a lifetime especially when I attend with friends. I also love playing my flute which gives me an amazing high.

Another type of creativity that gives me a good form of high is arts and crafts. As far as art goes, I do a lot of coloring and absolutely doing it. I am also learning how to do Diamond Art. So, far with Diamond Art, I have separated some items before starting the artwork of Diamond Art which I am cool with. As far as the crafting part, I am crossing stitching and am okay at it. I could do better at it but at least I am improving at it. As far as the Latch Hook part of the crafting, I am just learning how to do it and need a lot of work on it.

The one thing that helps me the most is mindfulness meditation through the Calm App. I also do mindfulness meditation with my cat when he is on my lap purring. Mindfulness Meditation helps starts my day properly as well as end it properly.

Something that I find helpful as of lately is learning about Tarot. I am learning about Tarot by reading, journaling, as well as attempting to read the Tarot Cards for myself and of course workbook. I hope that doing Tarot will help me with my recovery process.

Of course another thing that has proven helpful for my recovery is doing recovery type workbooks. Workbooks help me learn skills as well as build on skills I know that I can build on. Workbooks are very helpful for me.

I don””t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Ups and Downs of Mental Health Challenges

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World from Seattle, Washington. I need to be upfront with you all and I think I have an addiction to some pills. Sadly, I gave money to a neighbor and didn’t get all the pills that I was promised. Honestly, I don’t want the pills as I don’t like how they make me feel. I do want the money back I gave to the neighbor. If he gives me the pills which I know he will, I will throw them down the toilet and inform my therapist. I think I started the pills because of a recent sexual assault that happened at the end of July of this year. I will be stopping the pills with the help of my friends and therapist.

On the plus note, I took this week off due to taking pills and didn’t want to get fired especially since I started the pills this week. I don’t want to lose my job as I love my job and the work I do. There are some other issues I am getting into trouble at work for but it has nothing to do with the pills and will discuss it at another time.

Something I have found helpful lately is doing mindfulness meditation practice. It gets me into a peaceful type of mind and more grounded. It also helps me do more journaling to process my emotions and feelings. It is helpful for my mental health recovery.

The thing that helps with ups regarding my mental health symptoms is art work. In fact coloring helps a great deal with lifting my mood as it brings up a positive mood. Another thing that I am learning is art wise Diamond Art. I am finding it fun and somewhat hitous because you have to sort some stuff out which is okay because I know it will come out beautiful.

I am also starting to do crafting projects. One I have done before and will start again and that is cross stitching. I find cross stitching fun. Another crafting that I am just starting out and having some challenges is Latch Hooking. I know I will get a hang of it once I practice more.

Another thing I need to not just practice more is to read more on Tarot. I feel like reading and practicing Tarot Cards will help me with my recovery journey. I am all for trying new things to help me with my recovery journey. Well, all except drugs and pills won’t be helpful with recovery. I do know everything mentioned in this blog post will be helpful for my recovery with the exception of drugs and pills.

I’m just really the person who I bought the pills from, that I get them so I can flush them down the toilet so I cannot have another issue on my already many issues with my mental health issues.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Day Full of Emotions Despite Making the Bad Shit Into the Good Shit

Posted on by Gertie

Today did not start off as a good day. I woke up with a nightmare on time of an anxiety attack which sucks but then the depression decided to rear it’s rearing head which sucks shit. Having PTSD, Anxiety attacks and depression sucks but at least I have my cat to help me with my mental health symptoms so I took the day off from work.

Oh the positive side of things I have plenty of coping skills to help me when then things get difficult for me. One thing that helps me is my cat as well as my mindful mindfulness practice. Also going to work helps a greate deal for me. Self care is a huge things for me and it iterates me that my family thinks I an using drugs when i do not do drugs. I love having fun like going to baseball games as well as doing art work such as coloring, painting, crafting such as latch key and cross stitch.

I am grateful that despite a challenging day to my day that everything has worked out. Now it is time to do some lisure time to do some fun fast. Peace Out, World!!!

A Challenging few Weeks w/New & Refreshed Lessons Learned Along the Way

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Caturday Saturday. It has been quite a couple of weeks of being challenging for me for various reasons and many of them I have had to deal with some eighth deaths in a matter of a two week period. Some of the folks I have never met but really admired in the animal welfare community especially locally here in the Seattle area who touched the life of many humans and cats. Sadly this person took her own life and wish I would have been given to meet her in person. She will be greatly missed especially in the animal welfare community.

On the continuation of discussing death. I can’t really discuss much about it due to HiPAA law but many of the client I work with overdose on drugs and alcohol. Sadly some pass away to drug and/or alcohol overdoses and It is challenging to deal with. Thankfully I have the support of my colleagues with this especially when people have been trying to get off drugs so they don’t have to have a stigma with an addiction.

Dealing with so many deaths is the last couple of weeks I have been reaching out to my support system such as my friends, family and my colleagues as well as my therapist. I am just beyond grateful that I have supportive people in my life to be there for me. Not many people have a good support system and I have a great support system.

Now on to what I do to help with my self care. One way I do self care is due at least two mindful meditations daily; once in the morning and another one before bed time. I am also trying to put in third mindful mediation in the middle of a work day to help me refocus during work. Another way I have been doing self care is spending time with my cat as well as walking two times a day; once in the morning and once the evening. Of course another self care act is going to volunteer at PAWS Cat City a least once a week. Of course working at my job helps as well. I have been reading a lot of books that I find helpful to help with my recovery journey. I also have been doing some art work and hope to show sometime soon.

As this post comes to an end just know there is always hope along the way. I want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you reading and/or following my blog, I most likely would be continuing to writing my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!!

Everyday Inspiration, Day 1; I Write Because….

Posted on by Gertie

There are many reasons why I write. As far as the reasons I write my blog, let go back to why I started to blog and continue to do so. I started this blog for two main reasons. The first reason is to give hope to those who have not yet made the choice to be in recovery or struggling in their recovery and to remind people who are in recovery that they are not alone as I am in recovery. The second reason why I write this blog is to show those people people who do not have a mental health diagnosis and/or addiction that folks who do struggle with such issues can and do live productive lives however it looks to that individual.

There is a third and very unexpected reason why I blog. When I started writing it was to help other know that they are not alone and let people who don’t struggle that we are just like everyone else. Little did I know that blogging would help with my own recovery and I am so grateful for that.

Now you all know why I write my blog. I hope you continue you to read my blog.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write in many forms for many reasons. But today, I will be writing about why I write my blog. I originally started my blog to help educate those who don’t struggle with a mental health diagnosis and/or substance use disorders (addiction) that we can live productive lives just like those who don’t struggle with those issues. I also started blogging to give hope to those who are still struggling with mental health symptoms and/or addiction that recovery is possible.

Little did I know that when I started my blog that it would end up helping me with my own recovery and became a form of both self care and self help. I am grateful for this unexpected surprise of blogging is helping me with my recovery; both the ups and the downs.

As you can tell, I write my blog to help others as well as myself. Most importantly, I write my blog in hopes to lessen the stigma by educating those with out mental health or addiction issues that we can be productive members of society.

Just a Random Middle of the Night Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Middle of the night, World!!!!. I have not been able to sleep for various reason which includes insomnia and depression. Honestly, I think I could have some dependence on Ativan. I don’t want to have a dependence of Ativan because I don’t need any more issues than I already have.

I did email my doctor just in case because I don’t want another issue on top of other issues I already have. I know I may be a bit paranoid but I rather ge on the cautious side.

I do not have much more to say about this particular blog post. I do want to thankyou for reading my blog. I hope you have a great night. Peace Out. World!!!

Intro to Poetry; Day 4: Journey

Posted on by Gertie

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Life is meant to be a journey;

a journey that is meant to be full of

love and support.

Love and support many people

sadly don’t have.

Some don’t have the

love and support

due to mental health and/or addiction.

That’s where peers come

in;

to give hope

as well as love and support.

Peer Support is key to

ones journey to

recovery.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 12: Critique a Piece of Work

Posted on by Gertie

Today, we are suppose to critique a piece of work which can be artwork, music or writing. It is hard to critique other people work as most of the time other peoples work is better than mine. I critique my own artwork, music and writing all the time. Sadly, the critique becomes self judgement so I try not to critique my own work.

So instead of critiquing, I am going to go on rant. A rant about how people in recovery get stigmatized all the fucking time. People who are in recovery from addiction and/or mental health challenges get stigmatize so much that some people choose to not share their struggles and sadly pass away from their addiction or die by suicide. People can live in long term recovery from addiction as well as mental health challenges. I just wish we weren’t judges so harshly for something that is not are fault. So, before you judge someone due to an addiction and/or mental health challenge think of how you would feel if it was you being judged.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 1: I Write Because…

Posted on by Gertie

I write for various reasons. Take this my blog for example. I blog to educate those who don’t have lived experience with a mental health challenge and/or substance use disorder in hopes to end the stigma that is associated with mental health and substance use. I also blog to give other people hope in their recovery. I may not have a substance use disorder but I hope that my recovery with mental health, self-harm and eating disorders can be of inspiration to those who struggle with substance use disorders. Another reason I blog and didn’t realize this till about three years after starting my blog is that it helps with my own mental health.

So, I guess, the reason I blog in hopes that with me sharing my journey that it will lessen the stigma of mental health challenges and substances use disorders as well as give others who struggle some form of hope. Being in recovery is not easy but it is well worth it. I just hope my blog can help lessen the stigma of mental health challenges and substance use disorders as well as give others hope. Thank you for listening.