Tag Archives: Depression

Why Can’t My Brain Turn Off

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling at the moment with my brain not turning off. I am not sure why I can’t turn it off at the moment. I have had a pretty good day as I spent it with my family.

I am wondering why my brain won’t turn off and there are many reasons why. Reasons I can’t take care of till tomorrow. One has to do with DSHS paper work that has to do with human and/or computer error. Another reason is that a couple of my medical bill have gone to collections and I thought I took care of it with the appropriate people so it looks like I will be on the phone a lot tomorrow and maybe most of the week. Oh how I hate being on the phone for things I thought I already have taken care of.

All this is making me worry about money even more than I should be worried about it. Hopefully all this will be taken care of this tomorrow if not sometime this week. There is nothing I can really do right now as it is Sunday and have to wait to a weekday to deal with all this shit.

Dealing with all this shit isn’t helping much with my depression which sucks. But one thing that is helping with my depression right now is my cat. Having a cat that is willing to cuddle with you when you are down is quite helpful. I love Lil Gertie, my cat, so much.

Spending time with my family overnight and this morning was quite helpful with trying to turn my brain off as well. It helped a little but not as much as I would have hoped. I did enjoy spending time with my grandpa.

Now I have to figure out how to spend the rest of my day as I need to keep busy. I guess, I can do the usual stuff with doing art work, read, and spend time with neighbors and friends. I might even look for more jobs and apply for them. Another thing I can do is go for a walk as well as do household chores.

I want to thank you for reading about what is going on in my brain right now. I just hope everything works out as it needs to work out. Have a good Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Still With Family But Missing My Cat

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, again, World!!! I am still spending time with my family. Mainly my grandpa and uncle. It is always nice to spend time with family but I am missing my cat right now. I know my cat is in good hands with my friend (who is a neighbor) taking care of Lil Gertie but I still miss her. I should be going back home today.

My uncle is taking me to the DSHS office to take care of some medical insurance issues due to the fact that they think I make more money than I actually make. I am glad that I have family to help me out with this stuff. I hope I can get it taken care of tomorrow without having to go to the Social Security office which is even a bigger nightmare.

I just wish my health was in better shape as this weird ass mouth infection is really getting to me. Having to be on a butt loud of antibiotics is not my idea of fun. I feel like that my health is affecting my mental health. My mental health is something I need to keep an eye on especially my depression. This is where I wish I was home with my cat but maybe being with my family is helping me with the depression to a degree.

My grandpa is making breakfast for a late breakfast early lunch. Maybe more like a brunch. Not sure what he is making but it sure smells good. Having a supportive family means a great deal. Even though their support is not as supportive as they think it is but their heart is in the right place.

I better go an see if my grandpa needs help making breakfast or lunch or whatever it is. I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Boring Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have decided I am not going to go volunteer tonight. I rather spend time with my grandpa watching the Seattle Seahawks preseason game. As much as I am not big American Football fan it’s always nice to spend time with my grandpa spending time with what he enjoys to do.

While spending time with my grandpa and uncle I plan on not only watching the Seattle Seahawk game, I plan on blogging as well as looking for and applying for jobs. I plan on doing this as I am extremely eager to go back to work. Working gives me a sense of purpose like volunteer does however work gives me more purpose.

As I spend time with my grandpa and uncle a good friend of mine who is a neighbor will be taking care of Lil Gertie, my cat, for me. He is very fond of my cat and I can trust him with Lil Gertie. I will miss Lil Gertie while I am gone even though it is just over night.

I am hoping that spending time with my grandpa and uncle that we can go out to eat on my treat to Red Robin. I am a big fan of Red Robin and the food they serve as well as their awesome service. It appears that the Red Robin event keep being put off and I hope this time it doesn’t get put off this time around.

In all honestly I most likely will be working on my resume’ and applying for jobs as I really want to get back to work. Not working is getting quite boring for me. Applying for work helps me feel productive even though I know I am productive in other ways in my life.

Thank you for reading my boring post. I thank you for reading my post. It is sincerely appreciated from my end of things. I hope I am not boring you with the same ole topics in my post. I’ll try to come up with new idea’s to discuss. Again thank you so much for reading my post. Peace Out, World!!!

A Shower Does A Soul Some Good (Plus Other Things)

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! There is nothing like a good nice hot shower to help cleanse both the body and the soul. For me taking a shower is helpful for not just my soul but my depression.

After taking a shower, I decided to deep clean my cat’s kitty litter box. I tend to do this once a week as the normal cleaning of the litter box doesn’t always get rid of the germs; when you just scooping out the poop and pee.

I then did the dishes. After doing the dishes I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors as well as some other household chores. Doing chores gives me a sense of accomplishment which helps with the soul or at least with my soul.

After I doing chores, I worked on a piece of art that I have been working on for about a week. Specifically, it is a painting that is almost finished. I just have to wait for the paint to dry to completely finish it as I need to do another layer of a different color paint.

As I wait for the paint to dry I read the fantasy novel I have been reading. I am really enjoying the book and am having trouble putting it down. On occasion I do put the novel down to read comic books. Specifically, Wonder Woman comic books.

So what I have been doing so far today has given me some hope as well as some peace. Hope and peace that my soul needed. My soul needed this because I needed to do some good self care.

I have realized that I need to do more self care for myself which includes doing everyday chores. Chores that mean taking out the trash and doing the dishes. Yes, I know doing simple chores may not be considered self care or something that helps one’s soul but for me it is self care and helpful for my soul. It also gives me hope and peace when I do fun things as well. Such as art work and reading.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World

Attempted To Go Back To Sleep But A No Go

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, again, World!!! I attempted to go back to sleep and was unsuccessful at it. I might as well as start my normal daily routine. Right now that includes having a cup of tea and reading the news paper. As always, there is never anything good in the news however having this morning routine gives me a since of accomplishment. It gives me something to do to start my day out.

At this moment in time I am a little worried about my health as my doctor wants me to see her every two weeks. I know she is doing it to be preventative so I am not going to the Emergency Room as much but it still worries me. She is also doing it to help be preventative with my mental health symptoms as well. I have had my doctor for nine years now and this is the worst she has seen me mental health wise even though my mental health symptoms are slowly improving.

My therapist will now being seeing me twice a week instead of once a week. It is kind of a similar way to the way my doctor is thinking, to try to keep me from using the Emergency Room too much. Plus, my therapist wants to get deeper into the things that are really bothering me like trauma related things. I don’t know if I like the idea of going deeper into things but if it ultimately helps me and my mental health then I am willing to give it a try.

Right now I need to get my mind off of things so I think I am going to go take a shower which always make me feel better. I will also have some breakfast because food is always a good thing for both your health and mental health.

After taking care of some basic needs I think I will do some good self-care things for myself before I go to my volunteer job. One way I will do some self care is by doing some art. Specifically, I will be doing some painting. After doing some painting, I’ll be doing some reading. I will be reading the fantasy novel as well a comic books. Reading helps me a great deal to get out of my own head and forget about the depression I am struggling with at the moment.

As much as my depression sucks, going to my volunteer job this evening will be quite helpful for me. It will help me focus that my problems aren’t as bad as others. Volunteering helps me get out of my own head. Helping others always helps me be in a better head place.

Now that I am done boring you half out of your mind, I will end this post for now. Thanks so much for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Have a good Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Tired To Stay Awake

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is nine o’clock in the morning in my corner of the word and I am having trouble staying awake. I originally woke up at six o’clock in the morning and fell back to sleep. I have a feeling that I won’t be able to stay awake much longer after waking up this time. Not sure why I am so sleepy.

I am wondering why I am so sleepy has something to do with my depression creeping back into my life. I sure hope it is not the depression creeping back in. As shitty as depression can be, I am not one hundred percent sure that it is the reason why I am so sleepy.

I am thinking that maybe it is because my body is trying to become healthy again by fighting off the weird ass mouth infection I have. Sometimes your health can cause you to be more tired than usual to help heal the body.

On a side note I did listen to the Dodger versus Mariner game last night. The Dodgers beat the Mariners from 11 to 1. I am happy that the Dodgers won last night. I am a huge baseball fan and am hoping at least one of my teams makes it to the play offs.

Well, I think I am going to get going and go back to sleep. I just wish I knew why I was so freaking tired. I hope everyone has a good Saturday. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

A Brain That Won’t Turn Off

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, again, World!!! It is still Friday in my corner of the world. My brain appears that it doesn’t want to turn off. My depression is acting up for some reason at the moment. I am not sure why as I have had a busy day as mentioned in a previous post.

As busy as my day has been, sadly the depression wants to creep in and make it a shitty day. I refuse to have the depression make my day a shitty one which is one of the reasons why I am blogging what’s on my mind at the moment.

On a good note my cat has been very cuddly with me tonight which has been quite helpful for my depression. Having, Lil Gertie, my cat around has helped me a great deal when it comes to my mental health. It appears that Lil Gertie is wanting to help me blog at the moment.

Well, the Seattle Mariner versus Los Angeles Dodgers game is now officially over. The final score is Dodgers 11 and Mariners 1. It appears that the Mariners aren’t doing so well as of lately. The Mariners were doing pretty well before the All-Star break but they aren’t doing all that well now.

Now that the baseball game is over my brain to back to me being depressed and wanting to be back at work. I am really wanting to go back to work. Preferably a job in the mental health field and/or working with the homeless. I want to be a peer specialist again and know that some day I will be one again.

I think what I am going to do know is do a little art. I most likely will be combining the genre’s of coloring and collaging together. It is always fun and interesting when you combine genres when it comes to art.

After doing some art, I think I am going to read for an hour two. I am reading this awesome fantasy book called Ship of Magic. I highly recommend it. Reading helps me keep the depression at bay. Art does the same thing as reading does for my depression.

It is hard to believe that this is going to be my ninth post of the day. I didn’t realize I had so much to say today. I hope you all don’t mind me ramble on about silly and/or stupid shit. Blogging helps me a great deal and I hope it helps someone else in this world of ours.

I think I am going to call it a night. Thank you so much again for reading. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope that everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

The One AM Blues

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is one in the morning in my corner of the world. I am dealing with the blues. I am not sure why it is that I am dealing with the blues but I am. So, I have decided to put on some Blues music to help me get out of being in the blues.

Dealing with the blues can lead me to dealing with depression and I don’t want that either. So, here I am listening to blues music while blogging about my boring ole life again.

I just hope one day I can be a success in societies eyes but I know that is an unrealistic wish of mine but one can hope. For me being a success is for me is to be working and me being what I call productive in my own personal life. Maybe I am having woe is me moment.

I just really want to get back to work soon in a career I would love to be in. For me working helps my mental health a great deal.  A job that I can be proud of and not dread to go to everyday. I want a job I love and the pay doesn’t have to be all that much just as long as I am able to pay my bills.

Having the blues sucks. Maybe I should try to get some sleep. Good night everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is after ten at night in my neck of the woods and realized that I have done multiple post today but not my usual one of a weekly check in. My week honestly has been a pretty boring one.

I went to art group on Monday. Tuesday, I went to my med management appointment as well as Hearing Voices Group. I also saw my therapist on Tuesday where I gave him a Mandala I colored for him. I informed him that me giving him a piece of art work is a sign of trust. We discussed a specific trauma I had as more of a sign of trust I have in him. I also discussed with him despite the depression and PTSD symptoms I was experiencing that I was checking in with myself regarding having gratitude in my life. My therapist appeared honored that I trusted him with my art work, gratitude in my life and the trauma I shared with him.

I also did a great deal of art work this week. Specifically coloring Mandala’s. I also volunteered three places this week. So I have been keeping myself busy.

The thing I am most proud of is trusting my therapist. Thank you so much for reading. Have a great Saturday night. Peace Out, World!!!

Looking at the Bright Side of Things

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, (again), World!!! As I sit here writing this post I can’t help but think how good things are for me despite tooth pain and depression. I’m looking past the pain and depression at the bright things in my life. Some of my bright things in my life are simple things while others are the usual things people are grateful for.

Bright Side of Things in my life are as follows:

  • Lil Gertie (my cat)
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Play-Doh (yes, I did just say Play-Doh)
  • Blogging
  • Having a roof over my head (a place to live)
  • Food and food stamps
  • Reading and being able to read
  • Music and being able to play a musical instrument
  • My hoodies (hooded sweatshirts)
  • My Art supplies
  • Comic Books (specifically Wonder Woman)
  • My stuffed animals (especially the teddy bear, I’ve had since I was born)

As you can tell I have a great deal of things that help me look at the bright side of things. I realize that some of them may be silly but if they help me look at the bright side of things then dealing with the tooth pain and depression aren’t as bad.

Things that I have been doing today that have been quite helpful for both depression and tooth pain are a combination of things. One thing that has been quite helpful is playing with my cat, Lil Gertie. I must of wore her out as she is sleeping at the moment. Another thing I’ve been doing is reading. I’ve been reading both a novel and comic books. I of course had music playing in the background as it is soothing. I’ve also been doing various genres of art work with of course music playing in the background. I’ve also been playing with my toys such as Play Doh as well as my Hot Wheels Cars and holding my stuffed animals.

Well, I should get going as I am sure I am boring you with things in the post. Thank you so much for reading. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!!