Tag Archives: Depression

Thursday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As, I sit here I am struggling to write while listening to music. Music that is helping lessen my anxiety. Anxiety that is caused by the not so lovely PTSD. PTSD that is causing slight depression however I am using skills to fight it off. Mainly, I am reading (and blogging).

Something that I am looking forward to is that the Winter Olympics start today. I love how the Olympics bring the world together. I am not sure what event I am looking forward the most but am looking forward to it.

I think I’m going go and read now. Peace Out, World!!!

Ramblings About Work & Education

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I’ve been thinking about my future and what I want to do. Yes, I want to go back to work and plan on doing so when the opportunity  arises to do so. I’m wanting to go back to school to get an Associates and Bachelors degree at a local community college. The Associates would be in Social and Human services and the Bachelors would be in Applied Behavior Science. Both which would help me advance in my career.

I saw Gilbert today and we discussed the about education and work. He likes the idea that I am being future oriented. He also likes the fact that my depression symptoms are improving. He also talked about the hope I have with how things are going at the moment.

Thank you for reading. Peace out World!!!

Photo 1; Day 4: Bliss

Posted on by Gertie

Today’s topic was a little more difficult to do as I already talked about what gives me bliss and that is water. So I decided I would show you my tattoos again and what they mean to me.

1030151853The above picture is that of my semi-colon tattoo. For those who are site impaired it has a black out line and filled in with purple. It is on my inner wrist. I got this tattoo as reminder on how far I have come in my recovery and on what NOT to do when things get tough. That is to self-harm and/or attempt suicide.

IMG_0001The above picture is that of a tattoo of a butterfly. Its a doily, lacey type looking butterfly that is black outlined and no color. It is on my upper arm/shoulder and the butterfly resembles hope for me. It reminds me that through the darkness the butterfly goes through as caterpillar there becomes a beautiful being of a butterfly. So it resembles beauty through the darkness and hope.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening/Night

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I’m having a tough go at it at the moment. I’ve been dealing with that fact the my grandma is in hospice care and I’m attempting to process it through journaling and blogging. It appears to be helping.

Reading a history text book and watching TedTalks about history. I feel like I can get some sort of education regarding history. Its helping with getting my mind off of things and wish my family and I weren’t dealing with all this but its the reality we are dealing with.

Reality can suck shit but it can be wonderful at the same time. For example my grandma told me today if I don’t go to my job interviews and Tuesday and Wednesday that when she goes, she will haunt me to the day I die and then haunt me after death. I got to love my grandma. She’s facing death yet she is still using her humor.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening/night. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Early Awaking W/Something To Do

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Friday, World!!! I didn’t sleep all that well last night. I woke up from a nightmare as well as feeling slightly more depressed. A depression I’m not too worried about because I realize its there and I see my therapist Gilbert today.

Since, I’ve been awake and up since three o’clock this morning with only three hours of sleep I decided to do some reading. I, of course love the book I am reading and grateful that its a trilogy. I love book series.

Another thing I did was to go through my memory card from my camera to start the photography one course WordPress offers for free. I have found some fond memories and some weird photos wonder why I took them. I’m glad I did this as helped my PTSD a little bit.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

 

Therapy & Job Opportunities

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I had therapy with Gilbert. We discussed how I have been improving with my mental health. He agrees that things are going well and that he see’s that I’ve been working like hell to get back to my baseline. We also discussed how we both think that it would be wise for me to go back to work.

Which leads me to my next topic of job opportunities. I applied to multiple jobs and had an interview yesterday and have three next week. I’m looking forward to the interviews next week. One is at my previous employer and will be interviewing for two jobs at the same time. The other job interview is going to be at an agency that is pro peer. Which is really good.

Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!

Depression & Sports

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am so ready for spring. Mainly because of baseball season. I am a huge baseball fan.  I love baseball.

As much as I love baseball at least I have some other sporting events that will be helping me through. I’ll be watching the Winter Olympics along with the rest of the world. The Olympics bring the world together even for a few short weeks. I wish the world could get together everyday of the year like it does doing the Olympics.

Sports helps me with my depression. It helps me get out of my own head even for a few hours. Sort of like how the Olympics bring the world together even for a few short weeks ever four years.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Waking Up Depressed

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up depressed this morning. Waking up depressed just has me being acutely aware of what I need to do to be actively acting in my recovery.

Knowing that waking up depressed can put me in a tailspin, I have to be aware on what I need to do to not end up in a tailspin. So I started with my usual morning routine by having some tea and reading the news paper. I then made myself some breakfast. I made myself some French toast and scrambled eggs. I enjoyed my breakfast.

After enjoying my breakfast I decided to do some art. I mainly colored and collaging. Coloring helps me a great deal. As mention I did some collaging. I ended collaging three poems. I love when I am able to be creative like that.

Collaging reminded me that reading helps as well. So I read a few chapters in my book. I really am enjoying the book. A book that has helped me get out of my head.

Speaking of get out, I need to get going. I have to get ready as I have therapy today. Have a great day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Waking Up Depressed = No Fun

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Waking up in a depressive mode is not my idea of fun. So, I did my normal morning routine with reading the news paper and having some tea. I then decided to turn on the King 5 morning news. The saddest news story is my favorite comic book store Zanadu is closing. Its been in icon in Seattle for 42 years. Its always the small businesses that are leaving. We need to support small business’s more.

On that note, I’m reading my Ship of Magic book once I am done blogging here. I really love reading and am happy that I am in a place where I am able to be in a space to be able to read now.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also  hope everyone has a great work week Peace Out, World!!!

Not A So Good Night

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’m not having the best of nights. Nightmares are not my idea of a fun way to wake up any time. Dealing with trauma is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with especially the after effects of the initial trauma. Dealing with trauma is something a person will deal with the rest of their lives.

For me right now, dealing with my PTSD symptoms, I’ve been reading. Reading a great deal. Specifically, I am reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I think if it wasn’t for reading I would be stuck in my head dealing with the undesired events of my past.

As much as reading helps I really need to have a way to process. That’s where blogging comes in. So thank you for allowing me to process even though its so vague.

I think I’m going to go and read. Thank you for reading my blog in the middle of the night. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!