Tuesday Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! The last six days has not been the easiest for me. First my grandma died and then last night a neighbor was being a jerk and physically attacked me. I naturally called the police and filed a police report as well as went to the hospital. Good thing is that I have now broken bones. Bad news is that my face is swollen and I have bruising on my arms and back.

The doctor gave me some strong pain meds. He and I discussed ways to reduce my pain without meds as I only asked him to prescribe only three. I informed him that I do daily mindfulness and meditation practice twice a day and that I tend to do extra practices when I am in pain and/or have high anxiety. The doctor was impressed that I have non-medicine ways to deal with pain.

As expected and not surprising my PTSD is acting up. It is acting up severely and is an opportunity to use my mindfulness skills. Skill that have been quite helpful for me.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Moment

Hello, World!!! I am having a tough moment. A moment that has been due to PTSD and Anxiety with some Depression. A moment that Junior is helping me through. A moment that mindfulness and meditation practice has helped me.

As I have a tough moment I realize that as rough it is right now, I am doing better than I was doing early in January. I think I am doing better than I was because I don’t want to go back to where I was when I first made a decision to be in active recovery. I want to be where I was when I was doing well and working fulltime as a Peer Support Specialist.

Thank you for reading as I think its time to settle in for the night. Have a goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!.

Saturday Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is 11:09 at night in my corner of the world. I have been watching the Olympics quite faithfully this time around. I am finding that watching the Olympics has been helping me with the loss of my grandma. I really miss her.

I’ve also been doing some mindfulness and meditation practices today. I am feeling some peace whenever I do a mindfulness practice. I have come to the conclusion that mindfulness and meditation is helpful for my recovery.

My recovery means the world to me and whatever I find helpful for it, is something I will continue to do. If you are person in recovery, I encourage you to find things that are helpful for you and your recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Saturday Evening Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I have a great deal on my mind. Mostly stuff regarding my grandma’s death. Grief is not the easiest things to deal with and the pain is pure agony.

Agony that I am attempting my hardest to escape from. I’m escaping from the agony through reading and that appears to helping some. Or at least while I am reading.

I’ve also been doing a two out of three of my workbooks. It is helping me a great deal. It is helping me deal with emotions I need to deal with even if its emotions not related to grief.

Another thing that has been helping me through today is some mindfulness and meditation practices. This has proven the best of help with the agony I am dealing with.

Thank you for reading and Peace Out, World.

Middle of the Night Rambling

Good Morning, World!!! It appears from my end that I will have another sleepless night here in Seattle. I’m getting quite annoyed with not being able to sleep. My now former psychiatric nurse practitioner says I have treatment resistant insomnia. It sucks hard core hearing this but at least someone is being upfront with me regarding this shit is quite helpful for me.

Something that has been helpful to me and my sleep is practicing mindfulness and meditation skills. Some skills I learned through DBT while I learned other skills through other sources.

I think I’m going to get going and use some mindfulness skills. Have good rest of you night/morning, every. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Venting My Frustrations

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here frustrated at friend, attempting to not get frustrated with him or the experience he is sharing with me via text. It does appear that he is getting frustrated with himself as well as me and my experience with a similar issue especially since it deals with Social Security and Medicaid. I understand where he is coming from and am frustrated for him. It just rubs me the wrong way when he (and others) demean my own experience. I’ve been dealing with Social Security since for twenty plus years and he only ten or so years. I’m feeling like since he is older than me he thinks I don’t know anything. I informed him of my frustration and he is more frustrated.

I’m thinking I need to put this conversation on hold with my friend so I can get some sleep or attempt to do so. I’m going to do some mindfulness and meditation to help me let go of some of this as it is not my issue to fix and I think my friend wants  me to “fix” it for him. This is where I know mindfulness will be helpful for me and my own recovery.

If it weren’t for me being in recovery I wouldn’t know about my own boundaries and that I need to use my DBT skills in this situation. One of which is Mindfulness. Another is to do get sleep and do good self care like blogging. Hell, mindfulness and meditation are good self care activities or at least for me they are.

It is almost one o’clock in the morning for me and I want to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone. I hope you all have some good sleep. Goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!!

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings

Good Afternoon, World!!! So far today has been a good day. The interview I had today went really well. I’m on what they call “the short list” and it is with my former employer. I so want to go back work especially with my former employer.

One of the questions I was asked both yesterday and today was about what I did for self care. I told them I loved to do art. Specifically, painting, collaging, and coloring. I should them one of my haiku poem collages and they were impressed.

I also informed them that I love to read. I was asked today who my favorite author is and favorite genre. I said Orson Scott Card and it is a tie between Sci Fi, Fantasy and Mystery. I think that helped break the ice a little today.

I told the interviewers in both interviews that I start and end the day with a mindfulness and/or meditation practice. I told them that it helps me stay focused and helps me remain calm throughout the day. Hell, it helps me sleep.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated on my end. Happy Hump Day and Peace Out World!!!

Experiences Have A Beginning & An End

Good Evening, World!!! I’m feeling slightly calmer than I was an hour or two of ago. That is because I used the Calm app and did a few pages in my mindfulness workbook. It appears that todays topic in both avenues of my mindfulness was experiences have a beginning and an end. Mainly talking about letting go of emotions. Both the app and the workbook was discussing on how to let go of emotions and they don’t last forever. Even the good emotions.

This is helping me come to terms with both the negative and positive emotions that a coming up for me in my life. Such as my grandma being in hospice and me having job interviews. I’m hoping that with continued mindfulness and meditation practice that I will just be able to let go of emotions or at least be accepting of them.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful evening and Peace Out World!!!

Woo Hoo!!! I Got Some Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! It is 3:33 in the morning and I am up however I am excited because I actually got some sleep. Some much needed sleep. Sleep that I was thrilled to get.

Since I am up two hours earlier than expected for my job interview, I’m going to make myself and Junior a good and yummy breakfast. I think I’m going to make French Toast, scrambled eggs and chocolate milk.

After I eat I think I’m going to do my mindfulness workbook as it helps me stay focused and learn how to be my mindful of any situation I may be currently in. One thing I need to be mindful of is my job interview that is in roughly five hours from now.

I am looking forward to my job interview. It’s with any agency that is all for Peers. They are known to the community as being “Pro-Peer.” Something, that I am for is an agency that creates a good environment for Peer Specialist.

I should get going so I can follow through with what I told you I would do. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday and good day at work or whatever you do. Peace Out, World!!!!