Tag Archives: Sleep

Wanting The Oh So Elusive Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is now five thirty in the morning for me. I still haven’t gotten any sleep. Sleep that I am desperately wanting and needing. I finally took some Ambien and it didn’t fucking work. It usually does and it is frustrating the hell out of me that I can not get some fucking sleep.

I am so frustrated that it is putting me in crisis mode. Enough of a crisis mode that once I am done blogging, I am going to take myself to the Emergency Room (E.R). I will be okay, I just need someone to fucking hear me on how fucking frustrating getting no sleep is. Right now I think going to the E.R is the best bet. I don’t want to concern you all. I just wanted to let you know what is going on. I know I will be okay, I just need to get the sleep thing taken care of.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Is It Too Much To Ask For Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is three o’clock in the morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I have been keeping myself busy by reading. Reading appears to be of help to me. Especially on nights where I am unable to sleep. Reading is so much more fun than watching middle of the night television. Television that is nothing but infomercials.

I have also been working on my workbook. A workbook that is geared toward folks with insomnia who struggle with depression and anxiety. I am only on the first chapter but so far I am finding it helpful.

I am grateful that I have the abilities to help myself through not being able to sleep. Yes, insomnia suck shit but I am able to help myself. I am able to help myself by reading, doing workbooks, blogging and other such things.

Thanks for reading. I hope to be able to get some sort of sleep. Have a great morning even if it is still the middle of the night for you. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Still Awake in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after five thirty in the morning and I still haven’t been to sleep. Yes, I have attempted to get to sleep, I just was unable to do so. I even took my Ambien to be able to sleep and still a no go at the oh so elusive sleep.

Despite getting no sleep I have managed to stay busy. I pretty much stayed busy by reading. Reading appears to be one of my go to activities as of lately. I enjoy reading immensely.

Even though I read most of the night, it still didn’t take my anxiety away a hundred percent. I am worried about money like many people around the world are. I am worried that my tax refund check won’t get here in time to pay the rent. I know I am most likely worried about nothing but I am worried.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having issues sleeping once again. Which should be no surprise to anyone who reads my blog on the regular basis. Sleep hasn’t come easy for as of lately and it is starting to frustrate the hell out of me.

As frustrating as not being able to sleep is for me, I have come up with creative ways to keep myself busy. One of those ways is looking at potential tattoos I would like to get. For me the tattoos I get represent hope and/or recovery. I want the tattoos I get to not only give me hope and represent recovery but to give others hope as well.

Not only have I been looking at potential tattoos, I have been working on my mindfulness workbook. The chapter I am on is discussing spaciousness, compassion and mindfulness. The part I am having trouble with is having compassion for myself. I can have compassion for others but find it difficult for myself.

I think once I am done blogging I’ll read. I am eager to finish the books I am reading. In fact the book I am reading is a really good book and I am enjoying it immensely.

Thank you for reading. Have good rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! If you have been keeping up to date on my blog you know it has been a tough week for me. You also know that I, unfortunately self harmed. A self harm action I will be discussing with my therapist.

Another thing I need to talk to my therapist about is my sleep issues. Sleep issues that has its ups and downs. It just appears it is more down than up because if it was up I think I would be able to sleep.

Something else that happened this week was that I got a phone call. Not just any phone call. A phone call to schedule a job interview. My job interview is scheduled for this Tuesday and I hope it is a job for me.

I also completed three paintings this week. Paintings that helped me express my emotions in a healthy way. One of these days I need to share my paintings with you all. I have shared a painting or two but that is it. I want to share more paintings with you.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Saturday Morning Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I again didn’t get any sleep last night. Having insomnia sucks shit yet I am attempting to look at the silver lining in it. Right now the silver lining is being of support to my best friend who lost her mom yesterday. She leaned on me and another friend of our due to the fact we know what it is like to recently loose someone close.

I also did some reading. Reading has been quite helpful to pass the long nights. It has also been quite entertaining. Being able to read and entertain myself has been a useful tool for me.

Since we are on the topic of reading, I most likely will be reading most of the day as the weather is not exactly nice. It is a typical Seattle weather type of day outside. Having a typical weather day like today is great for me to read and to rest since I didn’t get sleep last night.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyone Needs A Day Off

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s been a day since I last posted. I didn’t post for no particular reason. Sometimes we just need a day off every once in a while even from blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I love blogging, I just need a day off.

One of the things I did yesterday was nap most of the day. I think it was because I was so tired and catching up on sleep. Not only did I sleep a lot yesterday, I also read. I read Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am enjoying the books thus far. Besides reading and napping I worked on two of my workbooks. Workbooks that help me with my recovery.

Having a nice day off from blogging was a good thing. Unfortunately, my best friends mom died today from health complications. She was only in her sixties. She was like a second mom to me. This was the friends mom that helped me convince my grandma to play the flute.  Please keep my friend and her family in your thoughts and send positive vibes their way.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Self Soothing Due to Early Awaking

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. Unfortunately, I am wide awake. On the plus side I did get some sleep. Not as much sleep as I personally, would like but I did get some sleep.

As difficult as not being able to sleep right is, I am needing to self soothe as part of my self care plan. So, I put on one of my favorite hooded sweatshirts on. In fact the sweatshirt is of my favorite baseball team the Angels. In fact the Angels are currently in the lead for the American League West.

Besides wearing my Angels hoodie I am holding my teddy bear. A teddy bear I have had since I was born. It was given to me by my uncle. My teddy bear not only self soothes me but gives me some sort of safety. Safety from what? Who knows but I’ll take it.

After I am done blogging, I am going to do a mindfulness exercise practice. Mindfulness appears to put me in the right head space. I never thought I would say this but mindfulness is also self soothing for me. Well if it is done in a way I feel safe it is self soothing.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

So Far a Busy Tuesday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is early Tuesday afternoon and so far I have done a lot today. One of the first things I did today was work of my mindfulness workbook. I started the first chapter which is on Fear and Mindfulness. I didn’t finish the chapter as I had to get go to get to my therapy appointment on time.

I showed my therapist the coping skills box I made per his suggestion. I also share the paper I wrote. He was impressed by both the box and the paper. More so that I was willing to do both. He now realizes that therapy homework will be beneficial to me and will think of assignments for me to do starting next week.

Another thing that happened today was that I found out that I have a job interview at a community mental health agency for a peer position next Tuesday. This will be a part time job which would be so much better for me than a full time job. I hope I get the job I am interviewing for next Tuesday.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Goodnight’s Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I actually got six hours of sleep last night. I am thrilled that I got that much sleep. I know six hours of sleep may not seem like a lot of sleep but for me it is. Sleeping six hours is a good thing.

As much as I am excited about getting so much sleep, I woke up depressed. Waking up depressed makes me acutely aware on how vigilant I have to be today. It is not fun waking up depressed but being diligent about what I need to do to make sure I don’t make it worse.

One thing I’ll do to not make it worse is attending art group. Going to art group will help me not isolate as well as being able to expression myself. I love attending art group.

I need to get going so I can do my morning routine. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!