Monthly Archives: April 2018

Got Zzzz

Posted on by Gertie

ben yatıyorum sözlük ışığı kapatI am unable to sleep. I purposely didn’t go to bed at seven o’clock so I could sleep tonight. Apparently, the universe had thought differently. I just want to sleep. It’s almost three o’clock in the morning in my neck of the world and I just want to sleep. I think the sleep thing has a little bit to do with my stupid ass depression.

I have been doing some reading. I am finding it quite helpful tonight. It’s relaxing me enough that I hope that I can get an hour or two of sleep tonight.

Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Better

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I have been dealing with a lot of depression. I realized this about an hour and a half ago. I realized why my depression was acting up a little today. I had forgotten to do my meditation and mindfulness practice this morning. So, I did my practice and now I feel better. Today’s topic was love and kindness and how it is okay to self soothe. Meditation and mindfulness self soothes me and is a self care act for me.

After I did my meditation and mindfulness, I watched a few episodes of M*A*S*H. It made me laugh so I hard, I almost peed my pants. Humor helps me a great deal. M*A*S*H reminds me of my childhood when I would watch it with my dad.

It is time to get back to watching M*A*S*H. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Boring Evening & Wanting To Go To Bed

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Not sure if I have much to say right now. I am just attempting to keep busy and not go to bed to early. It’s not even eight o’clock yet and I want to go to bed. If I go to bed now, I won’t be able to sleep later on which is not a good thing.

I think I am going to binge watch some television. Specifically, M*A*S*H. I love the show and it makes me laugh. There is a lot of humor in M*A*S*H. Comedies help me through rough and/or boring moments like right now. More boring than anything else. So I think I am going to watch M*A*S*H.

Have a good evening. Peace Out, World!!!

The Woes of the Days, So Far

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Well, it is just barely after twelve noon in my part of the world. Actually, to be exact it is twelve eleven in the afternoon to be exact.

I am having a moment of grief as I am blogging. I am miss my grandma. I miss everything about her especially the small things she would do for me. I love her so much and wish she was still alive. Reality is she is not going to rise from the dead.

Despite grieving over my grandma, I am doing okay at the moment. I can’t say that for one of my neighbors as they are appearing to be in crisis. A bad enough crisis that they had to go to the hospital to get evaluated. This person pulled the fire alarm several times since my last post. The fire alarm is annoying as hell but it is meant to be that way for folks to leaver their apartment. Yet, when the fire alarm is going off due to someone being in crisis it makes it harder to believe it is the real thing. I just wish the person wasn’t in crisis. Not because the fire alarm in annoying as hell but because being in crisis sucks shit.

Now, I am going to relax by reading my book. I am thrilled that I can get out of my head by reading especially a book I really enjoy. Having a book that is difficult to put down is a great problem to have.

Tanks you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

I Miss Work

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It looks like it is going to be yet another lazy day for me. The weather just sucks here in Seattle. At least it is not freezing ass cold like back on the East Coast and in the Midwest of the United States. In some places in the U.S it is even snowing. So I guess Seattle’s nasty, yucky ass weather isn’t as bad as it could be.

As yucky as it is today and the fact I want to be lazy, I’ll attempt to do something productive today. I am going to be applying for jobs today. Jobs that I may not even get an interview for but at least I am doing something in hopes to get off of disability. Plus, not working is boring as hell for me.

Yes, I have been doing things to keep myself busy but for me work gives me a sense of accomplishment other things don’t always give me. I love going to work most of the time and look forward to when I am able to go back.

Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thing. You are all awesome. Peace Out, World

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Cross Stitch
  • Color
  • Basically be lazy all day

Monday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art Group

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Therapy /Case management

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Not quite sure quite yet

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • See Psych ARNP
  • Clean Apartment

Friday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Again, another day with nothing really planned

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art
  • Cross Stitch
  • Be lazy

Sleepless in Rainier Than Usual Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World. It is just past three o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and I am tired as hell. For some reason I am unable to sleep right now. Listening to the rain is helping me stay relaxed and calm.

Another thing that is calming me is my book. It is helping me not think about things that are bothering me at the moment. It is nice to be able to be so into a book and enjoy the world the author has created.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I should be volunteering however I am still dealing with the grief of loosing my grandma. I miss her very much.

Besides dealing with grief all week, I’ve been busy. Busy doing attempting to be a productive individual in society. Society that expect me to be doing well but I am not or least not where I want to be.

The week started out with me meeting with Gilbert (now old therapist), my now old case manager and my new clinician. It was interesting. Interesting in the fact I am not sure how this is going to play out for me therapeutically.

I have also been reading my book off and on this week and am grateful to have the time to read. I am enjoying the book I am reading.

Most importantly I am starting up cross stitching again. It is helping me with my depression symptoms. Cross stitching and reading is something I have been doing most of the day as it’s even too rainy for us Seattleites.

Now I am going to watch movies from my childhood and binge eat on stack food. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Poetry; Day 2: Face

Posted on by Gertie

by Gertie

Facing shit ahead

doesn’t mean heartaches nor peace

yet means good healthy respect

for one self

A Rainless Day In Seattle, It Is Not

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is a yucky weather day here in Seattle. The rain has stopped for now as pictured below. Yes, the ground is wet and the sky is grey but at least no rain for now. See picture below.IMG_0340.JPG

Something I did today was work on my stamped cross stitch. It is cross stitch where the pattern is stamped already to the fabric. Which is different from counted cross stitch. It is that of a skull. Kind reminds me of Day of the Dead skull. As you can tell from the picture below I’ve only done the red part of the eye on the left.

IMG_0336

I also read quite a bit today. I am grateful for days like today. I was pretty much able to be lazy for a good portion of it. I was able to cross stitch and read after getting food from the grocery store and farmers market earlier in the day. I love it when I get chores done early than I expect.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!!.